goldengirl11 Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 (edited) Rather than continuing an old thread on the next page, I thought it was probably best to start another one about how I'm feeling *now*. Sure, I still have moments when I wonder where I may have gone wrong when my ex/FWB/old colleague swayed and lost interest after starting dating someone else then basically didn't bother anymore to see me and then went official, apart from sending me the odd random message when he was still keeping his options open or was probably bored (including it would seem during a break they had and then disappearing). However, as for now, I ask myself if he ever did initiate contact again and ask to meet up, what would I say and how would I act without appearing a doormat? You could say I have already been one by wishing him a happy new year, even tho he responded then! I obviously still have strong feelings for him and at the back of my mind hope that one day we will get another chance to see what comes, but am holding out for someone more deserving nevertheless (if that makes sense). Thanks. Edited February 1, 2012 by goldengirl11
RecordProducer Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 Rather than continuing an old thread on the next page, I thought it was probably best to start another one about how I'm feeling *now*. Sure, I still have moments when I wonder where I may have gone wrong when my ex/FWB/old colleague swayed and lost interest after starting dating someone else then basically didn't bother anymore to see me and then went official, apart from sending me the odd random message when he was still keeping his options open or was probably bored (including it would seem during a break they had and then disappearing). However, as for now, I ask myself if he ever did initiate contact again and ask to meet up, what would I say and how would I act without appearing a doormat? You could say I have already been one by wishing him a happy new year, even tho he responded then! I obviously still have strong feelings for him and at the back of my mind hope that one day we will get another chance to see what comes, but am holding out for someone more deserving nevertheless (if that makes sense). Thanks.It makes sense very much, but, hon, it's over. You must accept that. Not because he said it was over, but because when he said it was over, YOU have to decide that YOU are not taking back someone who dumped you. Oh, and he's been dating someone else? No taking back after an ex has had a relationship with someone else! Make it a rule. You wouldn't re-hire someone who stole money from your jewelry store, would you? Why take a heart breaker who hurt you and humiliated you back? Your heart is not insured against damages. Cherish your dignity and love of self. The rest will come when you least expect.
Author goldengirl11 Posted February 1, 2012 Author Posted February 1, 2012 (edited) I'm trying to accept things, really. And re saying it's over, although he didn't actually say that, he's basically changed his tune, usually via e-mail (I deleted his no months ago) when it's suited him, so I'm damn sure he sees me as a comfort. I also think he got lazy when something else took his fancy at uni (day student) and no longer went the extra mileage for me, despite our history. You could say it's made me feel not as fanciable. Also when a third party comes along it just complicate matters (he said not to be sad at the time). I feel this is partly my fault tho, when I turned down a couple of dates which he offered at very short notice when I had plans/was moving (ignoring his needs perhaps). Although when I asked him out he rarely appeared to make the effort, especially when I found out it wasn't just me on the scene. Rant over! I trust that my next 'relationship' will be healthier though! Edited February 1, 2012 by goldengirl11
RecordProducer Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 Rant over! I trust that my next 'relationship' will be healthier though!I trust that, too. Stop beating yourself up over it. Whenever we are in this deep confusion, going back in time and replaying things, it's because the other side has the upper hand - they know what happened, and we're just guessing. I remember when I dumped men, they were completely confused and I was not. I knew exactly why I ended the relationship and didn't care one bit. My last ex-BF, I dumped him after a few weeks because I wasn't totally attracted to him, I didn't like his lifestyle and he wasn't that hot in bed. He has no clue whatsoever about any of this. He told me our relationship didn't work out because I was still married to my ex-H at the time and went back to him. It never crossed his mind that I wouldn't have gone back to the stupid ex-H had the BF been the kind of guy I'd fall in love with. On the other hand, I never received any explanation whatsoever from my first ex-husband about his reasons for leaving. My second ex-H gave me a bunch of bogus reasons but they didn't make any sense in the context of the marriage. Funny, they both told me I was a great person. My point being: you're wasting your time and nerves trying to figure him out or what you could've done differently.
Recommended Posts