Goldline Posted January 31, 2012 Posted January 31, 2012 I met this guy, he's nice, I like him a lot. However, I broke a rule of mine, I don't date "rebound guys" and this one just left his girl of 5 years. He likes me a lot too, I know that, we do a lot together (gym, movies, hang out, sleep overs, etc..) but today I heard the words "we're not together yet" (he's moving his stuff from his old place to the new one, the ex is still at their place) and it made me want to get up and run; run, run, run as fast as I can. Now I want to protect myself with kryptonite and I want to call it. I'm conflicted.. I'm thinking...no risk no reward.. I wonder if I should still give it a try? I want to, but I don't want to hear a "I told you so" coming from my inner voice. I think my best course of action is to protect myself and take it as it goes?
malibustacydoll Posted January 31, 2012 Posted January 31, 2012 I don't respond that often on here-- like to just read-- but I feel the need to give an opinion on this one. I am in the absolute reverse situation-- almost to a tee-- it's creepy. I broke up with my boyfriend of five years and am living with him. I move out next week into a new place. There is a friend in my life whom I have a major crush on. We hangout a lot-- and have kissed/cuddled. If he told me that he wanted to run because I was leaving a relationship I would be very upset. I have been "done" with my relationship for sometime. Yes, I now recognize I should have left a long time ago. Sure-- I do have some emotional issues to deal with. This guy probably has the same issues-- which is why he doesn't want to make it official with you yet and hurt you in anyway. If I were you-- I might back off and give it time-- try to take things slow and see where it goes. If he doesn't try to become a bit more serious after living alone-- then perhaps you could talk to him or mention dating other people? If you do need to run-- you know what is best for you though!
Author Goldline Posted January 31, 2012 Author Posted January 31, 2012 Funny, you really are in the opposite situation indeed. I think I'm going to distance myself a little, not totally disappear, but the ball is in his camp.
malibustacydoll Posted January 31, 2012 Posted January 31, 2012 Funny, you really are in the opposite situation indeed. I think I'm going to distance myself a little, not totally disappear, but the ball is in his camp. I know it's a different situation-- but I must admit that I like this guy a lot! I daydream of dating him, doing things together-- a future together. I know with being just out of a relationship things are vastly complicated (not to mention other complications). So, just because he doesn't want to be official right away doesn't mean he doesn't have very high hopes of things with you. He might be doing the best he can right now-- which is being around/with you-- but being careful to take it slow and do things right. :-)
Author Goldline Posted February 1, 2012 Author Posted February 1, 2012 I'm trying, I haven't dated someone since I myself left my ex, two years ago. My heart is hungry lol
veggirl Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 JUST out of a 5 yr relationship?! No, no, no. That has bad news written all over it. Hang out if you want, and can do so without getting attached. He is absolutely rebounding, there's no way he is ready for a new relationship. Be careful! Usually what happens in this situation...they are hurting from the break up, they are lonely, they miss companionship...they jump into something new ASAP and then freak out and realize they aren't ready. Be careful!
2sunny Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 Since he says you two aren't "together yet" - that screams that he's still "connected" somewhere else! I hope you haven't had sex with him. If so - stop until he shows evidence that he's ONLY into YOU! You may be his OPTION! That's never an ideal position to be in. When he proves you are his only priority - that's when you can depend on him. That's when ur inner voice will quit tugging at your mind. Don't betray self!
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