razz90 Posted January 31, 2012 Posted January 31, 2012 So I had two (pretty similar) experiences recently and thinking about them today has made me think about men and double standards, and what a girl has to do for a guy to think she lacks self respect and/or is a slut. Both situations involve me going home with two different guys and having things get sexual (both within just a few hours of meeting these guys), although no actual sex. The first guy..we were at the train (tube) station and there were all these girls wearing short skirts and the guy was commenting on how slutty it looked and was like "girls don't tend to dress that way where I come from". The second time, me and the guy (a different guy ofc) were in a pub, and on the sofa was a guy sitting down and a girl on his lap making out and grinding on him. He made some sarcastic joke about her not having any self respect or dignity. (also this same girl apparently asked him if he wanted to be her 'special friend' and he clearly thought that was slutty). Ok, my questions is this. Why were these two guys judging women on dressing a certain way and public display of affection (ok it was more than kissing, but I've seen worse), and then want to have sex with a woman pretty much straight away? If they thought that way about women, I wonder that surely they would judge me for taking them home within hours of meeting me?! Or do guys prefer girls who act all sweet and innocent in public, and then become bad girls in the privacy of a bedroom?? Or do guys think girls who go after men and sex are whores, because the guy is supposed to chase the woman?? Thoughts?
Philosoraptor Posted January 31, 2012 Posted January 31, 2012 People in general are stupid and lack the ability to practice what they preach. Don't judge someone based on their words, but based on their actions.
ditzchic Posted January 31, 2012 Posted January 31, 2012 I find that often times people who make outright out loud judgements about others tend to have a bunch of similar skeletons in their closets that they can be judged on. It's a deflection so that you look elsewhere and don't see their faults. They are judging the girls because it's a part of themselves that they don't like very much.
kaylan Posted January 31, 2012 Posted January 31, 2012 People in general are stupid and lack the ability to practice what they preach. Don't judge someone based on their words, but based on their actions. ^This. I wont hold someone to higher standards than what I hold for myself. And Ive done some things that people would call "whore-ish". I own my actions though, and am not ashamed of my past.
Oxy Moronovich Posted January 31, 2012 Posted January 31, 2012 I agree with ditzchic. I also think it's lame how people are commenting on a woman's skirt length and kissing in public. What the hell do those cornball dudes yer dating think this is, the 1950s? It's the goddamn 21st century.
ptp Posted January 31, 2012 Posted January 31, 2012 (edited) It is because sex is hard to get if you are a guy and easy to get if you are a woman. In the past when food was scarce, being overweight meant you had a lot of wealth. Now when food is easier to obtain, being overweight has a significantly different connotation. A lot of it also depends on where you live. Where I live "grinding" is what passes for dancing and it is very common. Maybe this sounds hypocritical, but if I was single, I would love it if a girl is aggressive and wouldn't think less of her, unless she was trying to get with every guy. However, when I am dating a girl, I want her to dress a little more conservatively and be a little less provocative. Basically a "lady in the streets, but a freak between the sheets". Edited January 31, 2012 by ptp
kaylan Posted January 31, 2012 Posted January 31, 2012 ^Sex is easy to get if you know what you are doing and how to talk to women =P.
musemaj11 Posted January 31, 2012 Posted January 31, 2012 A promiscuous woman is a slut while a promiscuous man is not. A man who doesn't pay on a date is cheap while a woman who doesn't pay on a date is not. Double standards go both ways.
ScreamingTrees Posted January 31, 2012 Posted January 31, 2012 A promiscuous woman is a slut while a promiscuous man is not. A man who doesn't pay on a date is cheap while a woman who doesn't pay on a date is not. Double standards go both ways. These double standards are only true if you MAKE 'em that way. It doesn't have to be a double standard in YOUR world if you know that it's all bull****. A promiscuous PERSON is usually on the slutty side, period. You have to be true to who you are. Just be open about how you feel and as it's been said, don't expect anything that you can't bring. If someone has a different view point and calls you out on yours, you put them in their place. If you truly are right, they'll have nothing to say. If you're wrong, you learn a bit. Personally, I'm not a promiscuous person. That's been a personal choice. I don't outwardly judge people, but if I can tell that someone doesn't feel the same about intimacy as I do, then I won't go with their advances.. If you have no self control or respect or don't consider sex to be much different from pissing, just an occasional (OR frequent) itch that needs scratching, why expect someone who feels differently? You're not compatible, in the overall scheme of things. Those people will not be satisfied with one another.
ptp Posted January 31, 2012 Posted January 31, 2012 (edited) ^Sex is easy to get if you know what you are doing and how to talk to women =P. Please pray tell how do you talk to women Don Juan? Are you using the words "black amex" a lot? Edited January 31, 2012 by ptp
KathyM Posted January 31, 2012 Posted January 31, 2012 Sounds like this guy thought that being publically sexual shows low character, but being privately sexual is more respectable. Doesn't really make any sense. If a person gives it up easily to strangers, then they're no less slutty than those exhibiting these public displays. I don't think a guy has a right to judge if he himself tries to seduce a stranger. Nor does he have a right to think badly of you if he engaged in that behavior himself. Unfortunately, men do have this double standard that they think it's OK to have sex very early on, but they often think less of a woman if she engages in it, and they may not be inclined to think of you as long term material if you give it up to a stranger, even though they themselves may do it.
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