geegirl Posted February 2, 2012 Posted February 2, 2012 yeah. I want to let go but at the same time i wanna know what he is sorry for. he didnt bother to explain. so he said he wants to keep texting as friends but he doesnt wanna hang out. just be there for each other. what do you think aboput that?? You either let go or you stay in contact. Does his apology really have to mean anything when he's treated you so badly? And if he can't even verbalize what he's sorry for, what does that mean to you? Stop waiting for someone else to connect the dots for you. Texting as friends? What's your definition of a friend? Someone who treats you like crap? For as long as you stay in contact, you will keep hope alive and you will never be able to detach from him. If you agree to texting, you will be continuously checking your phone. When he doesn't text , you will get anxious and then your emotions will brew. Then you will come here and ask if you should text since you haven't heard. Lather, rinse and repeat. You continue the cycle. You CANNOT be friends with someone when you are emotionally invested in them.
Author barriob Posted February 2, 2012 Author Posted February 2, 2012 I dont know. i asked to call him last night and he never wrote back and then today i aksed him to tell me what he was sorry for.
geegirl Posted February 2, 2012 Posted February 2, 2012 (edited) I dont know. i asked to call him last night and he never wrote back and then today i aksed him to tell me what he was sorry for. He has consistently ignored you and you keep trying to engage him. He treats you with such disrespect. What weight does an apology carry when one treats you this way? You asked him twice and twice he ignored you. 1) He is sorry he hurt you. 2) He is sorry he called you psychotic. 3) He is sorry he ignored you. 4) He is sorry he can't give you what you want. 5) He is sorry he is an ass. 6) He is sorry he.... You can continue typing reasons but at the end of the day, he CANNOT give you what you want. His explanation does not reverse the end result. I mean this is the kindest tone. He does not have any respect for you Barrio. This man wants to be let go, let go. Edited February 2, 2012 by geegirl
Million.to.1 Posted February 2, 2012 Posted February 2, 2012 Your actions reek of desperation. Geegirl is absolutely right. You need to let go. If your self esteem was better, you would see this offer of a txt message relationship as an insult, because that's what it is. This has gone on way too long and you are perpetuating it. Take some responsibility for your own healing and stop asking him for the tools to do it. Nothing he says/ does is going to help you. It will only keep you where you are. The only way you will retain any dignity at this point is to IGNORE him completely and MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. Do it for yourself! You are better than this, and if you don't feel that you are, fake it till you make it. And in time you will. You need to actually try and give yourself a chance. Please!!! NO CONTACT. Give up this project.
Author barriob Posted February 2, 2012 Author Posted February 2, 2012 if he wants to be let go, then why does he come back to text me?
M2155 Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 You've been demoted from sex buddy to text-buddy. It only goes downhill from there. If you're happy with someone who texts you once in a while to keep you on his leash and never makes .07% of effort to be a real friend, then definitely keep doing what you are doing. You don't change, he doesn't either.
geegirl Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 if he wants to be let go, then why does he come back to text me? When I say he wants to be let go, I am trying to tell you that he doesn't want to be involved with you emotionally, therefore, you need to let go because what you want, is what he cannot give you. Let go. Stop trying to rope him in. Ok, so he texts you back. What comes with those text messages? Nothing. Does he come with those text messages? No. When he texts you and you text back, does he reply? Days later or he ignores you. You should want more for yourself and your life than meaningless text messages. Who cares if he comes back with 374 pages of text messages. Does it keep you warm at night? Does it love you? Does it hug you when you're alone? No, no, no. At the end of the day, he wants nothing to do with you emotionally, treats you badly and can only be friends. Those three things are certainties. In the grand scheme of things, text messages mean absolutely nothing.
Author barriob Posted February 3, 2012 Author Posted February 3, 2012 this is not what i want at all. i want someone who wants to texts me. but i am scared to say i am done.
TaintedHeart Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 Why do you keep sugar coating everything? The guy sounds like a waste of space. He texts you when hes bored. It doesn't mean anything to him. Though it means everything to you.. Sorry if I sound harsh but this thread is 4 pages long and you've been given some amazing and wise advice. You should really take it.
Million.to.1 Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 i am scared to say i am done. Why are you scared to move on, allow yourself to be happy, be open to meeting someone new who will love you and treat you with the respect you deserve? Don't you want this feeling and pain you are going through to end? You only need to say "I'm done" to yourself. You need TIME away from him, and his empty communication. Give it to yourself. Go out and get that new phone, a new number and leave this prick in the past where he belongs. Don't give him your number. Delete his number. Remove the ability to be able to contact him when you are feeling weak. You are an emotional being and need to really avoid all the things that trigger these emotions so the logic and your rational mind, that knows this is not what you want, can take over, and free you from this. Stop posting and asking what you should do. You have been told. Look through other posts here of people who have broken N/C and in doing so felt great afterwards. You won't find any. Read through second chances and try and find some happy endings. Learn from others mistakes and stop making more of your own. Start advising and helping others. It really helps. When you read other peoples stories, you see things objectively and can see the patterns they are stuck in. You can see that they feel like you do. You can see what they need to do to get better even if they can't. It gives you the clarity and logic you can apply to yourself. Make some changes TODAY. Be tough on yourself and know that in time, you will be glad you did.
Million.to.1 Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 Sorry if I sound harsh but this thread is 4 pages long and you've been given some amazing and wise advice. You should really take it. And there are several other threads... Please let this be the last. Let the next one be about all the positive steps you have made to STOP this and MOVE ON.
geegirl Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 this is not what i want at all. i want someone who wants to texts me. but i am scared to say i am done. You want someone that wants to text you, WHO wants to be with you and call you and see you and treat you like a princess and take you out and show you off and buy you gifts and take you on vacations and massage your feet and cuddle you at night and make love to you and tell you everything is going to be okay. That's what you want for yourself. Not someone to just text you. You are scared to say you are done...with what? You don't even have anything to even say you're done. So what is it you are afraid to be done with? Afraid to finally let go of a man that treats you like something under his shoe? C'mon Barrio, dig deep and really ask yourself if this is how much you really value yourself?
TaintedHeart Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 Why are you scared to move on, allow yourself to be happy, be open to meeting someone new who will love you and treat you with the respect you deserve? Don't you want this feeling and pain you are going through to end? You only need to say "I'm done" to yourself. You need TIME away from him, and his empty communication. Give it to yourself. Go out and get that new phone, a new number and leave this prick in the past where he belongs. Don't give him your number. Delete his number. Remove the ability to be able to contact him when you are feeling weak. You are an emotional being and need to really avoid all the things that trigger these emotions so the logic and your rational mind, that knows this is not what you want, can take over, and free you from this. Stop posting and asking what you should do. You have been told. Look through other posts here of people who have broken N/C and in doing so felt great afterwards. You won't find any. Read through second chances and try and find some happy endings. Learn from others mistakes and stop making more of your own. Start advising and helping others. It really helps. When you read other peoples stories, you see things objectively and can see the patterns they are stuck in. You can see that they feel like you do. You can see what they need to do to get better even if they can't. It gives you the clarity and logic you can apply to yourself. Make some changes TODAY. Be tough on yourself and know that in time, you will be glad you did. You should defo delete his number. It does help. It's hard but it helps. I know that feeling too well, you over think about texting, so you text, then he ignores or replies with something that is pointless. Nobody here is going to tell you to call or text him.
Author barriob Posted February 3, 2012 Author Posted February 3, 2012 You want someone that wants to text you, WHO wants to be with you and call you and see you and treat you like a princess and take you out and show you off and buy you gifts and take you on vacations and massage your feet and cuddle you at night and make love to you and tell you everything is going to be okay. That's what you want for yourself. Not someone to just text you. You are scared to say you are done...with what? You don't even have anything to even say you're done. So what is it you are afraid to be done with? Afraid to finally let go of a man that treats you like something under his shoe? C'mon Barrio, dig deep and really ask yourself if this is how much you really value yourself? yes, i am scared of letting go if him...idk why maybe, cause i care for him and wanna keep giving him chances because i am hoping he will realize. UPDATE: he tolde me he was sorry for being an ass, for putting me through pain and misery. and yet he told me he doesnt wanna talk on the phone. :/ i dont get it. i REALLY dont!! ughhhh
geegirl Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 (edited) yes, i am scared of letting go if him...idk why maybe, cause i care for him and wanna keep giving him chances because i am hoping he will realize. UPDATE: he tolde me he was sorry for being an ass, for putting me through pain and misery. and yet he told me he doesnt wanna talk on the phone. :/ i dont get it. i REALLY dont!! ughhhh Yes, you don't want to get it. He's apologized for his behavior. He's telling you he is sorry for all that he has done and that he won't be putting you through anymore of that. He's telling you it is over. It doesn't mean he wants anything more. It just means he's sorry for his behavior, period. You wanted an explanation, you got it but now you have to move on. He's rejected all the chances you have given him. He does not want any of them. He does not want to be with you. You went from girlfriend to sex buddy to text buddy. When he has that much respect for you, there no way up but down. Please let him go and move on with your life. Edited February 3, 2012 by geegirl
imperfectangel Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 I think you do understand whats going on you just dont WANT to move on. That is the problem girl I am YEARS ahead of all this bull**** I spent YEARS waiting and while i was waiting for him he was out meeting his now wife and making babies with her MOVE ON. My last text to him was: I hope someday someone you really like uses you like youve used me and then you'll know how it feels Or something like that he hurt me more than anyone else has but even though i HATE nc and i HATE not hearing from him I have to do this for ME. STOP putting him above your own happiness HE DOESNT CARE ABOUT YOU unless he is bored/needs a ego boost to show hes still got 'it' Bottom line is he CANNOT give you what you want or need. I know how hard it is - believe me I have been thrown under the bus stabbed in the back and dragged through **** for YEARS dont let this 8 months turn into years let it go and find a man that will treat you the way you DESERVE to be treated. You want someone that wants to text you, WHO wants to be with you and call you and see you and treat you like a princess and take you out and show you off and buy you gifts and take you on vacations and massage your feet and cuddle you at night and make love to you and tell you everything is going to be okay. That's what you want for yourself. Not someone to just text you. - love that
Author barriob Posted February 4, 2012 Author Posted February 4, 2012 I think you do understand whats going on you just dont WANT to move on. That is the problem girl I am YEARS ahead of all this bull**** I spent YEARS waiting and while i was waiting for him he was out meeting his now wife and making babies with her MOVE ON. My last text to him was: I hope someday someone you really like uses you like youve used me and then you'll know how it feels Or something like that he hurt me more than anyone else has but even though i HATE nc and i HATE not hearing from him I have to do this for ME. STOP putting him above your own happiness HE DOESNT CARE ABOUT YOU unless he is bored/needs a ego boost to show hes still got 'it' Bottom line is he CANNOT give you what you want or need. I know how hard it is - believe me I have been thrown under the bus stabbed in the back and dragged through **** for YEARS dont let this 8 months turn into years let it go and find a man that will treat you the way you DESERVE to be treated. - love that omg we just were talking on the phone and he hung up on me and turned his phone off :/ so sad and hurt. he doesnt care at all :'(
geegirl Posted February 4, 2012 Posted February 4, 2012 No one here can help you Barrio. You are not grasping anything anyone is saying. You keep blindly clinging on. You need to get smashed to the ground by this man until you are reduced to nothing. Then you will finally move on. Until then you will keep allowing him to treat you like trash. I hope you find your self respect and dignity soon. Anything you receive from him, is now your doing. No one's fault but yours.
M2155 Posted February 4, 2012 Posted February 4, 2012 he doesnt care at all :'( But you already knew this^^^. Fluorescent's post is excellent too. You don't want to face the truth. Everyone told you if you dont change your behavior, he won't either. You accept him treating you like crap, so he sees those are your standards and will continue to treat you that way. Move on.
Author barriob Posted February 6, 2012 Author Posted February 6, 2012 okay so after him hanging up on me, i decided i was done. so i didnt text him all day yesterday. then at 2 a.m. i get a text message frim him. it was more like a drunk text message, saying hey. so i was worried and called him but didnt answer. so now i dont know. why would he text me????
Million.to.1 Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 why would he text me???? No one cares. ........ and neither should you.
imperfectangel Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 okay so after him hanging up on me, i decided i was done. so i didnt text him all day yesterday. then at 2 a.m. i get a text message frim him. it was more like a drunk text message, saying hey. so i was worried and called him but didnt answer. so now i dont know. why would he text me???? never answer a 2am text the only text you should get off a guy on a morning is goos morning beautful! girl im where you are now and its easy for me to dish out advice that i myself cannot process but you cant let this go on
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