beenburned Posted January 30, 2012 Posted January 30, 2012 The term "relationships" is used repeatedly by OW/OM/MM/MW to describe the affair they are having with a married person. The majority of these affairs(not all) are nothing more than stolen brief moments of having sex with someone else's H/W. To me personally that does not constitute a "relationship". But it does constitute an extra marital affair, infidelity, and adultery. What are your thoughts on this? Why does this term bother me so much?
PegNosePete Posted January 30, 2012 Posted January 30, 2012 There are many different types of relationship. Romantic relationship Business relationship Friend relationship Family relationship Why not a "shag every other week" relationship? Your usage of the word implies some certain type of relationship, which is something more than it actually means.
drifter777 Posted January 30, 2012 Posted January 30, 2012 It depends entirely on what you consider to be a "relationship". I agree that a cheater who is stealing a few hours with a sex-buddy does not meet my definition of a loving, committed relationship. It is something that two consenting degenerates do to satisfy a lust for strange pu$$y or dick. The degenerates may develop an emotional relationship over time, but since it is based on lies and deception it is doomed to failure. When a WS leaves their spouse for their sex-buddy it rarely works for long.
Kidd Posted January 30, 2012 Posted January 30, 2012 "Relationship" sounds better than "affair partner," "f*ck buddy" or any other accurate term. My WW always liked to talk about her "actions." What a nice way to avoid an accurate description of them.
Author beenburned Posted January 30, 2012 Author Posted January 30, 2012 LG, In the scenarios you describe I agree that is a type of relationship. However, the affairs I know about personally the people involved were nothing more than FB. They didn't work together.
frozensprouts Posted January 30, 2012 Posted January 30, 2012 maybe it all depends on what kind of meaning you attach to the word "relationship"... I use the term to mean some kind of on going connection between me and someone else, and it's the adjective used in front of the term 'relationship' that gives the meaning. I have a "partner" relationship with our doctors, with our children's teachers, with our pharmacist, dentist, banking representative, investment manger, etc. I have a romantic relationship with my husband and no one else.
SoMovinOn Posted January 31, 2012 Posted January 31, 2012 The term "relationships" is used repeatedly by OW/OM/MM/MW to describe the affair they are having with a married person. The majority of these affairs(not all) are nothing more than stolen brief moments of having sex with someone else's H/W. To me personally that does not constitute a "relationship". But it does constitute an extra marital affair, infidelity, and adultery. What are your thoughts on this? Why does this term bother me so much? I have no idea why you, or anyone else, is bothered by the reality that an A is a relationship. Every person you interact with is a "Relationship". Inanimate objects have a relationship to other inanimate objects. There is nothing special about the term "Relationship". There is nothing about it which indicates something is bad or good or acceptable. re·la·tion·ship [ri-ley-shuhn-ship] noun 1. a connection, association, or involvement. 2. connection between persons by blood or marriage. 3. an emotional or other connection between people: the relationship between teachers and students. 4. a sexual involvement; affair. I would think it's simply a matter of those who have this issue are really just trying to find another way to discount A's. Why? I would think calling an A an A is more than sufficient in labeling it for exactly what it is. To further claim it somehow isn't a relationship doesn't change anything. I think, in some cases I have seen, it's an attempt to further put the A on a different level (again, as if that is needed). The M is up in the clouds with the angels and rainbows and fluffy bunnies, it's the "real relationship", and the A is down in the muck with the demons and horny toads, it's "not a real relationship". It's really a wasted exercise. I prefer to just call a spade a spade.
Author beenburned Posted January 31, 2012 Author Posted January 31, 2012 SMO, According to the dictionary, it clearly fits #4's description. It's not a put down, when I personally believe in the sanctity of marriage, vs the sin of an adulterous affair. But for people who do not share the same moral view, I guess it just doesn't matter.
Breezy Trousers Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 (edited) I've read a couple "been there ... done that ... coming back to warn you" OW/OM posts cautioning "active" OW/OM against referring to themselves & WS as "we" or "us" during an affair. They did it once, too. The argument was that "we" & "us" implies commitment in real time, and affairs are actually all about NO commitment & a whole lotta fantasy (which is precisely why so many affairs fall apart after real life -- D-Day -- intrudes). So you're not the only one to note this, BB. Edited February 1, 2012 by Breezy Trousers
SoMovinOn Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 SMO, According to the dictionary, it clearly fits #4's description. It's not a put down, when I personally believe in the sanctity of marriage, vs the sin of an adulterous affair. But for people who do not share the same moral view, I guess it just doesn't matter. It has nothing to do with comparing one to another. It has nothing to do with moral views. A relationship is a relationship, even if it's a relationship you don't like.
frozensprouts Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 It has nothing to do with comparing one to another. It has nothing to do with moral views. A relationship is a relationship, even if it's a relationship you don't like. sorry to thread jack, but i thought about this for a while, and it bothered me... why is it that some people who view affairs as acceptable ( i can't imagine someone being in an affair if it it goes totally against their morals to do so) seem to demand that their relationship needs to be accepted and even respected by the very people who's relationships they are totally disrespecting? just asking...
SincereOnlineGuy Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 I have no idea why you, or anyone else, is bothered by the reality that an A is a relationship. Every person you interact with is a "Relationship". Inanimate objects have a relationship to other inanimate objects. There is nothing special about the term "Relationship". There is nothing about it which indicates something is bad or good or acceptable. re·la·tion·ship [ri-ley-shuhn-ship] noun 1. a connection, association, or involvement. Agree with you, SoMovinOn. There really is no other important meaning of "relationship" beyond #1. If a dot on a graph can have a "relationship" to a line on the same graph, then the term is pretty much all-inclusive.
Author beenburned Posted February 2, 2012 Author Posted February 2, 2012 BT, Thanks, I agree with your thoughts. And, I will add the term "my MM" used by OW.( It only adds to the delusions of trying to take ownership of someone else's husband.)
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