EnigmaticClarity Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 You do know that many people that are called 'fat', are nowhere even near the lower end of technical obesity (BMI 30+). This is not noticed so much in people's assessments of men's weight, but given the current standards for women, even a woman in the upper ranges of technically normal weight (BMI 22 - 23) is often called 'fat'. Women who are technically overweight (BMI 25) are most definitely called fat. I agree that standards tend to be looser for men, in that even an average-muscled man who is technically overweight is often not considered as 'fat' as the woman in the upper ranges of normal. But the OP appears to be using the eyes of a superficial man in her assessment of men, so meh, if I was the guy I'd just move along. Plenty of women who don't mind a guy with a few extra lbs. And yes, FitChick, the BMI scale is reasonably accurate for the average person of average muscle mass, which most of us are unless we are completely sedentary or professional athletes. Men do get more of a pass, but we're also luckier due to height, we distribute the weight better. Very tall women have a similar advantage. The toughest size to be is around 5' with a wider bone structure--that's the type of frame that weight shows up on much more clearly. Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 (edited) This shirtless pic would be about the size she described, but probably a little bigger, Vaughn looks to be around 230 here: http://www.hotflick.net/flicks/2009_Couples_Retreat/009CPR_Vince_Vaughn_006.jpg I'm also a little surprised that 225lbs on a 6'5 guy, gets him labeled repulsive. I've got a few friends that come in a bit under that and are 5-8" shorter. They don't get the 'eeeewww eff off' attitude from women. They have endomorphic builds so carry the weight well, very similar to VV. What is this guy tall lanky with a big beer gut? If you find it a turn off then then thats what it is, from your perspective and thats what matters since youre the one here who has to get sweaty with him. Well he's got 3 mths to trim down, I think its fair, but I'll tell you that ultimation wouldn't fly well with most women, if it was their bf laying it on the line. Edited January 31, 2012 by ascendotum Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaticClarity Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 (edited) If you find it a turn off then then thats what it is, from your perspective and thats what matters since youre the one here who has to get sweaty with him. Well he's got 3 mths to trim down, I think its fair, but I'll tell you that ultimation wouldn't fly well with most women, if it was their bf laying it on the line. If a guy with a 5' 11" girlfriend who he admits he doesn't love came here saying he was no longer attracted to his girlfriend who had "ballooned" up to 175 pounds, I'd feel like slapping him. Sounds like a complaint better lodged on the hotenough.org, 7orbetter.com, millionairemate.com, or chestyfriends.com forums. Edited January 31, 2012 by EnigmaticClarity Link to post Share on other sites
Jane2011 Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 The toughest size to be is around 5' with a wider bone structure--that's the type of frame that weight shows up on much more clearly. Yep. I'm that height, and 5-10 lbs really shows on me. I am thin, but six to ten years ago I was 101 lbs, now I'm 107. My ex-boyfriend, who met me when I was about 101 complained that I gained weight when I went up to 107 or so (over five years). He was/ is particularly into very thin women, though. I've had a few boyfriends since him, and they all have thought my body was very fit and toned -- the same body that the aforementioned boyfriend was critical of. He used to say to me that he was still attracted to me, but he was more attracted to me when I was thinner (at 101 or so). Anyway, as I mentioned in a previous post, I'd not tolerate a guy who completely let himself go after a few months of being together. I mean, I think I'd try to tolerate it if I loved him (and I'd probably have a really hard time leaving), but I'd ultimately want to have sex with other men if he was all fat. Link to post Share on other sites
maybealone Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Another thing that would concern me is that if he let himself go a few months into the relationship, what would he be like after ten years? People get into relationships for all kinds of reasons, and for some of them, it's because they just want to be done with dating and all the work that comes with it. Some people -- once in a relationship -- gain weight, throw out their makeup, start wearing nothing but sweatpants, and even cut way back on showering just because they feel like they shouldn't have to try anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Another thing that would concern me is that if he let himself go a few months into the relationship, what would he be like after ten years? People get into relationships for all kinds of reasons, and for some of them, it's because they just want to be done with dating and all the work that comes with it. Some people -- once in a relationship -- gain weight, throw out their makeup, start wearing nothing but sweatpants, and even cut way back on showering just because they feel like they shouldn't have to try anymore. The first part is what perturbs many guys when it comes to dating (with the intention of a LTR) women who are a little overweight. Ninjainpajamas is complaining about this in his current thread. From experience they find very soon into the relationship the woman puts on weight, and guys extrapolate that. 1.2 lbs a month time x number of years. Fit women could easily do the same with tubby guys. Link to post Share on other sites
Zaphod B Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 (edited) I was in exactly the same boat with my wife. I just didn’t want to have sex with her because her body turned me off. Didn’t stop me from loving her, but certainly ruined our sex lives, which in turn put big pressure on our relationship. She was regularly harrassing me because we were having sex so rarely and it was so hard for me to get motivated, to try to get turned on for her. Things just deteriorated, although weight and sex were not the only issues we had. But if your guy won't do anything about his weight (as my wife never did), I can't see things improving for you. It’s not shallow. You can’t do anything about your turn ons or turn offs. Those are there whether you like them or not. Edited February 1, 2012 by Zaphod B Link to post Share on other sites
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