Is he or isnt he?

January 30, 2012

So listening to Bowie makes a dude gay?

January 30, 2012

I'm normally not terrible at reading people but my gaydar is tingling.

He admits to being a real man- liking sports and whatnot but I recently found put he watches romcom l 500 Days of Summer. He has an affection for David Bowie, even commenting Nick from the Jo Bros was goodlooking. He texts with exclamations and smiley faces ALOT using vocabs like OMG and smooches.

We have literally became text buddies and he has no problem asking me abot my day. He doesn't ask me on a date, he asks me to hang out.

Honestly is he gay?

First of all WTF is a "real man." That's a terrible phrase.

My hubby likes 500 Days of Summer and many rom coms. One of his favorite movies last year was Bridesmaids; he liked it WAY more than I did. I love sports/boxing/mob/thriller-action movies, and he finds them tedious. He actually prefers rom coms. Heck, he even likes musicals (though I do too).

And a lot of people really like Bowie who are not gay.

I don't know what the Jo Bros are. And it doesn't seem like this guy is going to ask you out -- it may be because he's gay, and it may be because he's shy, and it may be any number of reasons. Make a move, if you want to see if there's interest.

He does sound like he has some more 'feminine'/yin energy at times, but some men do, just as some women have plenty of yang or masculine drive. It's doesn't mean a guy is gay.

January 30, 2012

500 Days of Summer, seemed to be a favourite with a lot of men after it came out.

Yup def a romcom for men.

Romantic comedies get seen as chick flicks because traditionally they are geared towards women, and more focused on the womans point of view in many of them.

However over the last several years theres been a bunch of male focused rom coms. Hitch, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (more of a dramedy), and of course I Love You Man. You can totally bro out on that one actually.

I think guys have always like romance movies, but only ones that relate to us. Aside from When Harry Met Sally, I cant think of any pre 2000 rom coms Ive liked. I related to that movie because I became best friends with my ex before we got together. And when we first met we hated each other just like in the film. Plus the story wasnt told from a mostly female point of view. You got both sides.

Edited January 30, 2012 by kaylan

January 30, 2012

Being effeminate or camp doesn't mean someone is gay. Only being sexually attracted to other men does. There are butch gay men just as there are effeminate straight men.

^This. I've dated plenty of guys who came across as very gay everywhere but in the bedroom. It's just kind of my type. One guy I dated didn't even have body hair. Naturally. It was probably something hormonal. He was also a huge mama's boy, texted with the smiley faces and stuff and was very clingy and needy. I thought for sure I was just his cover-up date. Until we got in the bedroom. He was an animal!

I think the best way to tell is make a physical move on him and see what happens.

January 30, 2012

remember bowie was supposedly bi?

Homosexuality and bisexuality aren't the same thing, although it does seem as if most homophobes have a prejudicial habit of equating them. An alarming number of socially conservative (read: naive) people also believe homosexuals and pedophiles are the same thing, too. I'm guessing if he were bisexual, you'd have an issue with it? Ask him if he is.

January 30, 2012

I have a friend who's into Rom Coms, David Bowie, and dressing up for parties/events. A lot of my friends, other people including me have wondered if he's gay waiting to come out. Apparently he's just straight but very extremely passive with women and will never ask them out or make a move, but he will ask to hangout.

OP, are you into him and annoyed he's not asking you out? Maybe you can ask him out on a date or something?

Monkey maybe we know the same guy.

No I'm not upset he haven't asked me out. He has its just he puts it in a passive way and always through text. He says something like " I was in jersey today for korean food but maybe your place has better food. What are your plans for tonight?"

January 30, 2012

Monkey maybe we know the same guy.

No I'm not upset he haven't asked me out. He has its just he puts it in a passive way and always through text. He says something like " I was in jersey today for korean food but maybe your place has better food. What are your plans for tonight?"

Highly doubtful, my friend rarely goes out of state nor likes asian food. I think sometimes effeminate guys just wind up sharing similarities across the board.

Maybe he just sees you as friend material? I would probably talk like that with a girl that I'd want to be friends with but don't see her in a sexual/romantic way.

January 30, 2012

Sometimes it's difficult to tell if English guys are gay or straight. Generally the highly educated, artistic/cultured ones seem a bit camp compared to Americans. Hugh Grant is an example. It can be a bit confusing if they are attractive, so I just wait until they ask me out.

January 30, 2012

Tons of guys I know watch romcoms like 500 Days, and like Bowie. Why would such things make a guy gay?

I mean, if he performed acts from West Side Story or Chicago or Rent for fun in the middle of his living room walked with a swish and was overly affectionate with men, THEN I'd wonder... but from the things you've mentioned? Nah.

This, totally. Plus if he likes "real man" stuff like sports, shouldn't it cancel out the "not real man" stuff like...movies and music?

Monkey maybe we know the same guy.

No I'm not upset he haven't asked me out. He has its just he puts it in a passive way and always through text. He says something like " I was in jersey today for korean food but maybe your place has better food. What are your plans for tonight?"

Are you gonna go out with him? How do you know this guy?

January 30, 2012

I'm normally not terrible at reading people but my gaydar is tingling.

He admits to being a real man- liking sports and whatnot but I recently found put he watches romcom l 500 Days of Summer. He has an affection for David Bowie, even commenting Nick from the Jo Bros was goodlooking. He texts with exclamations and smiley faces ALOT using vocabs like OMG and smooches.

We have literally became text buddies and he has no problem asking me abot my day. He doesn't ask me on a date, he asks me to hang out.

Honestly is he gay?

Wow Papercut.

Sometimes I wonder what part of NYC you hang out in...

You think a man is gay because he like 500 Days of Summer and David Bowie?

First of all, I love 500 Days of Summer and David Bowie (and once took a date to see one of his films) and I'm as straight as an arrow.

There is a large, thriving, and vibrant gay community in NYC and very few would have any problem admitting they were so. I have met many gay men and have had gay friends and they range from loving sports and basketball and beer to being the 'flaming' Priscilla Queen of the Desert type.

They come in all flavors really.

January 31, 2012

It is possible that he just isnt into her in that way, attraction or not.

I have been attracted to certain chicks and refrained from acting on it for a number of reasons.

And for a second I thought you meant Ross from "Friends" lol.

What reasons would those be? This guy doesn't have any reasons I can think of, he's single she's single and they talk all the time. He has the cojones to hint a visit to her place but not to flirt back when she flirts with him? It just doesn't jive with my experience as a straight guy.

Should have added the MwcFan! Posts don't seem to come out as coherently at 4am in the morning as they do during the day time.

^This. I've dated plenty of guys who came across as very gay everywhere but in the bedroom. It's just kind of my type. One guy I dated didn't even have body hair. Naturally. It was probably something hormonal. He was also a huge mama's boy, texted with the smiley faces and stuff and was very clingy and needy. I thought for sure I was just his cover-up date. Until we got in the bedroom. He was an animal!

I think the best way to tell is make a physical move on him and see what happens.

You ever dated a guy as effeminate as Richard Simmons? Or are we just talking things like smiley face texting, no body hair and neediness?

Richard Simmons:

January 31, 2012

Wow Papercut.

Sometimes I wonder what part of NYC you hang out in...

You think a man is gay because he like 500 Days of Summer and David Bowie?

First of all, I love 500 Days of Summer and David Bowie (and once took a date to see one of his films) and I'm as straight as an arrow.

There is a large, thriving, and vibrant gay community in NYC and very few would have any problem admitting they were so. I have met many gay men and have had gay friends and they range from loving sports and basketball and beer to being the 'flaming' Priscilla Queen of the Desert type.

They come in all flavors really.

Jobaba, I'm not homophobic. If I was I wouldn't have dated my last ex or gotten involved with HER.

The reason I ask is because he does and says things that makes me question his sexual orientation especially since I have asked him and he has adamantly said he was as straight as they come.

And I have never seen 500 days of Summer, but I am a Bowie fan as fanatic as a fangirl would get over a bisexual man.

January 31, 2012

What reasons would those be? This guy doesn't have any reasons I can think of, he's single she's single and they talk all the time. He has the cojones to hint a visit to her place but not to flirt back when she flirts with him? It just doesn't jive with my experience as a straight guy.

Should have added the MwcFan! Posts don't seem to come out as coherently at 4am in the morning as they do during the day time.

Dude, there could be a number of reasons hed likes to talk to her and maybe isnt into her. Just because a guy is single doesnt mean hes trying to bang every girl he simply talks to a bit. Give men some credit. Ive had some friendships where I just didnt cross that boundary because I felt itd kill a good friendship, or if I saw no future outside of a hook up, but still enjoyed spending time with the girl.

Its also possible hes keeping her at arms length because hes not ready to date. Like myself, right now a close chick friend would be nice, but dating would be kinda annoying and time consuming at the moment. My lifes too hectic at the moment for more than fwb quickie type deal.

Jobaba, I'm not homophobic. If I was I wouldn't have dated my last ex or gotten involved with HER.

The reason I ask is because he does and says things that makes me question his sexual orientation especially since I have asked him and he has adamantly said he was as straight as they come.

And I have never seen 500 days of Summer, but I am a Bowie fan as fanatic as a fangirl would get over a bisexual man.

So you are saying if he was bi, that youd still date him? Im just checking because I came across bi chicks on campus who held the same double standard society perpetuates regarding bi men and bi women. I found it odd because it was sort of hypocritical of them, but at the same time I understand a lot of our views get shaped by a culture thats controlled by older straight white dudes.

Edited January 31, 2012 by kaylan

January 31, 2012

What you've described is a straight dude with slightly feminen tendencies who's also not interested in you. Mystery solved, unless you have more to go on.

yep. pretty much it me thinks.

January 31, 2012

Dude, there could be a number of reasons hed likes to talk to her and maybe isnt into her. Just because a guy is single doesnt mean hes trying to bang every girl he simply talks to a bit. Give men some credit. Ive had some friendships where I just didnt cross that boundary because I felt itd kill a good friendship, or if I saw no future outside of a hook up, but still enjoyed spending time with the girl.
Its also possible hes keeping her at arms length because hes not ready to date. Like myself, right now a close chick friend would be nice, but dating would be kinda annoying and time consuming at the moment. My lifes too hectic at the moment for more than fwb quickie type deal.

So you are saying if he was bi, that youd still date him? Im just checking because I came across bi chicks on campus who held the same double standard society perpetuates regarding bi men and bi women. I found it odd because it was sort of hypocritical of them, but at the same time I understand a lot of our views get shaped by a culture thats controlled by older straight white dudes.

Ha maybe I am a hypocrite because I wouldn't date a bi guy. So no I would not date him if he was bi.

I don't thnk its a double standard so much as its a jealousy issue. My ex proposed an open relationship. I was stupid to agree with her because while I tried only to date her she was seeing other men. Ultmately I felt like I wasn't enough for her.

But yeah I don't think he's gay... maybe just very effeminate.

And I think he's like you kay, just too busy to date.

Edited January 31, 2012 by xpaperxcutx

January 31, 2012

First of all WTF is a "real man." That's a terrible phrase.

My hubby likes 500 Days of Summer and many rom coms. One of his favorite movies last year was Bridesmaids; he liked it WAY more than I did. I love sports/boxing/mob/thriller-action movies, and he finds them tedious. He actually prefers rom coms. Heck, he even likes musicals (though I do too).

And a lot of people really like Bowie who are not gay.

I don't know what the Jo Bros are. And it doesn't seem like this guy is going to ask you out -- it may be because he's gay, and it may be because he's shy, and it may be any number of reasons. Make a move, if you want to see if there's interest.

He does sound like he has some more 'feminine'/yin energy at times, but some men do, just as some women have plenty of yang or masculine drive. It's doesn't mean a guy is gay.

Maybe your husband is bi. You strike me as a very femdom type of women.

^This. I've dated plenty of guys who came across as very gay everywhere but in the bedroom. It's just kind of my type. One guy I dated didn't even have body hair. Naturally. It was probably something hormonal. He was also a huge mama's boy, texted with the smiley faces and stuff and was very clingy and needy. I thought for sure I was just his cover-up date. Until we got in the bedroom. He was an animal!

I think the best way to tell is make a physical move on him and see what happens.

Why are you dating plenty of guys who come off as gay?

Homosexuality and bisexuality aren't the same thing, although it does seem as if most homophobes have a prejudicial habit of equating them. An alarming number of socially conservative (read: naive) people also believe homosexuals and pedophiles are the same thing, too. I'm guessing if he were bisexual, you'd have an issue with it? Ask him if he is.

I laugh at people who use the word Homophobe. Very few people are afraid of homosexuals who have that word used against them. Case and point the OP has previously had gay relationships. Is she not alloud to have a preference for straight men with out being labeled a homophobe.

Also whats wrong with having an issue with anything you want. You can have an issue with a guy who likes to sky dive for all I care. Its fcken life.

Jobaba, I'm not homophobic. If I was I wouldn't have dated my last ex or gotten involved with HER.

The reason I ask is because he does and says things that makes me question his sexual orientation especially since I have asked him and he has adamantly said he was as straight as they come.

And I have never seen 500 days of Summer, but I am a Bowie fan as fanatic as a fangirl would get over a bisexual man.

So sad we always have to defend our selves to the so called minority groups whether it be women, gays, or racial.

Look if you're still attracted just see where things go. Whether he is gay or not hasn't his feminine nature turned you off from him?

You strike me as a girl who could use a real man. You know like a rock for your wild and crazy ways.

January 31, 2012

You strike me as a girl who could use a real man. You know like a rock for your wild and crazy ways.

I love xpaperxcutxs wild and crazy ways.

January 31, 2012

I love xpaperxcutxs wild and crazy ways.

Maybe she could use a trip down under then...

January 31, 2012

Ha maybe I am a hypocrite because I wouldn't date a bi guy. So no I would not date him if he was bi.
I don't thnk its a double standard so much as its a jealousy issue. My ex proposed an open relationship. I was stupid to agree with her because while I tried only to date her she was seeing other men. Ultmately I felt like I wasn't enough for her.
But yeah I don't think he's gay... maybe just very effeminate.
And I think he's like you kay, just too busy to date.

But it is a double standard. I actually made a thread about a bi girl I was interested in when I first came here, maybe you should read it. You as a bi gal yourself should know his orientation has nothing to do with his views of fidelity. What if a guy like me said "Sorry hun I like you and all, but I prefer straight women" Its one thing for me to say that as a straight person, but for a bi person to have that same prejudice doesn't make much sense to me. It just goes to show me that a lot of bi chlicks get brainwashed into thinking the same "lesbian hot, gays gross" stuff that society pushes.

I just find it odd when a minority group of any kind refuses to date its own and has silly reasoning. Be it race, ethnicity, or sexual orientation.

BTW, its uncanny how many times I hear of bi chicks not being satisfied in a relationship with women. My good friend just came out to me as bi but said she could never date a girl too long term because she "still needs dick". I just kinda shrugged because she could easily give up women to have her hollywood ever after romance. And I felt bad for ladies for a second because for all the crap guys get for using women, women seem to do the same exact thing.

It is what it is though.

Edited January 31, 2012 by kaylan

January 31, 2012

Deleted my post. Having problems with my phone =/.

Edited January 31, 2012 by kaylan

January 31, 2012

You as a bi gal yourself should know his orientation has nothing to do with his views of fidelity.

Ahem! Are you sure you are a man? A lot of guys are bi because they f**k anything that moves.

BTW, its uncanny how many times I hear of bi chicks not being satisfied in a relationship with women. My good friend just came out to me as bi but said she could never date a girl too long term because she "still needs dick". I just kinda shrugged because she could easily give up women to have her hollywood ever after romance. And I felt bad for ladies for a second because for all the crap guys get for using women, women seem to do the same exact thing.

It is what it is though.

It's because they are curious that's all, not bisexual the slightest. It's easy to have sex with a woman because she won't ram a massive c**k up your backside unless she is wearing a strap on so there is nothing to lose.

Jeez, just how naive are you?

January 31, 2012

Ahem! Are you sure you are a man? A lot of guys are bi because they f**k anything that moves.

Huh? That makes no sense. So because some guys have low standards, it means they are bisexual?

And Im pretty sure I do have a penis in my pants. I dont see how what I said merited you asking me such a question. And no, Im not one of those guys that screws any moving female.

Dudes with standards and self control do exist ya know.

It's because they are curious that's all, not bisexual the slightest. It's easy to have sex with a woman because she won't ram a massive c**k up your backside unless she is wearing a strap on so there is nothing to lose.

Jeez, just how naive are you?

I dunno, the girls I have met are very sure of their sexuality. You cannot say they are not bisexual and make it true.

Id say its only easy for non-straight women to have sex with women. The whole curiosity thing is bs imo. If a girl has an attraction towards females and actively seeks them out for sex, thats a bisexual woman. Not someone who is simply curious.

How naive are you?

January 31, 2012

Ahem! Are you sure you are a man? A lot of guys are bi because they f**k anything that moves.

It's because they are curious that's all, not bisexual the slightest. It's easy to have sex with a woman because she won't ram a massive c**k up your backside unless she is wearing a strap on so there is nothing to lose.

Jeez, just how naive are you?

He's very naive and his posts come off very feminine.

January 31, 2012

He's very naive and his posts come off very feminine.

I wonder if that means he's gay?

January 31, 2012

He's very naive and his posts come off very feminine.

Yes, my posts are feminine because I dont need to constantly assert my masculinity like you do in your posts

Please show me how anything I have said in this thread is false or feminine. Quote me and make your case.

I wonder if that means he's gay?

No it just means I dont pigeon-hold folks to strict views of what "real men" and "real women" are supposed to be like some people. These things are objective and change with time anyways.

I have viewpoints that accept people for what and who they are, for the most part at least.

Edited January 31, 2012 by kaylan

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