spiderowl Posted January 30, 2012 Posted January 30, 2012 Guys, how would your behaviour change with a girl you were seriously interested in as opposed to one you would see as very short term or one-night only? Would you behave differently? If so, what would you do differently?
Oxy Moronovich Posted January 30, 2012 Posted January 30, 2012 Wow, this is actually a real good question. For a short-term relationship, I'd just take things carefree. I wouldn't bother to get her to know any close friends or family members of mine. I wouldn't bother to tell her more than the basic facts about myself: my job, hobbies, goals, etc. The main thing is I wouldn't bother to express my personality or let her into my personal world deeply. I'd just act like a fun-loving guy and not give too much about myself. For a LTR, I'd let her know more about my past, how I see myself, my goals, desires, and anything personal. Obviously, I'm not going to tell everything. But I'd tell her a lot more than a short-term woman. I'd treat a short-term woman like a casual acquantaince, while a long-term woman would get to know me personally enough to write a book about me. She'd also get to know more about my friends and family and maybe even meet them.
Author spiderowl Posted January 30, 2012 Author Posted January 30, 2012 Thanks, that's really interesting. I have one more question: would you flirt differently with the short-term girl than a longer-term prospect? I love your username, by the way, very clever!
Oxy Moronovich Posted January 30, 2012 Posted January 30, 2012 Thanks, that's really interesting. I have one more question: would you flirt differently with the short-term girl than a longer-term prospect? Another good question. It took me some time to think about this. If it's a girl I just met then the talk will be more sexual and more superficial. I have a rule that I got from guys who were good with picking up women: just try to make women laugh and smile; say carefree, non-offensive things that come to your head; and only talk for 10 minutes max before asking for her phone number. So yes, under those circumstances, the talk is more jovial and superficial. If I go out on a date with a woman I don't have any plans for a LTR, then I'll just give the most basic things about myself. And yes, I'll outright lie. I don't care. I'm not going to see her for long. If it's a girl I know, the talk is deeper when I go on dates with her. Not my life's story. I'll talk more about my daily life, my future plans, how I came to be where I am, and some more stuff about myself. I'll show more interest about her and what she does. I'll be more honest. Hope this helps. I love your username, by the way, very clever! Thank you. Finally, someone compliments me. I've had people try to give me crap for my name, saying, "You try to make smart comments, but no one thinks a person with the word 'moron' in their name is smart." Brilliant insult.
xpaperxcutx Posted January 30, 2012 Posted January 30, 2012 Thank you. Finally, someone compliments me. I've had people try to give me crap for my name, saying, "You try to make smart comments, but no one thinks a person with the word 'moron' in their name is smart." Brilliant insult. I love you too! When you're not writing horrible posts of course.. and I do lke this one.
Oxy Moronovich Posted January 30, 2012 Posted January 30, 2012 I love you too! When you're not writing horrible posts of course.. and I do lke this one. What? I'm never horrible. I am a perfect gentleman.
Ninjainpajamas Posted January 30, 2012 Posted January 30, 2012 I'm kind of an oddity in that I tend to connect with people on a much more personal level and share background and emotions regardless of whether it's long-term or short-term...the connection is important to me. However the way I handle those situations are very different; Short-term/FWB/casual sex kinda thing; As I don't really do one night stands this is pretty much the category for me that this kind falls into. I think the main things I avoid here is meeting friends, family and becoming too acquainted and involved with her personal life. I would be more easy-going and laid-back and not too worried about anything in terms of compatibility and things that would otherwise concern me If I was seeking a long-term relationship. I could still talk on a frequent basis and even about very personal things but not a priority. I could go off and do my own thing and them the same and I wouldn't check in or expect them to either. I would although avoid very personal and direct expressions of emotions that could be taken as very romantic, intimate or anything that might give it that whirlwind feeling (which is hard for me to do and probably what I invest most of my efforts into) Long-term Relationships; Everything emotionally and physically goes the same to a degree, as that is mainly who I am, however there is another level of physicality and affection. I'll kiss more intimately and passionately, take time out of moments to be lovey dovey and what not because now I'm letting that romantic, passionate and emotional part of me go which is going to create a stronger bond. I won't be afraid to meet their friends, family or be involved in important aspects of their lives as I'm interested in being apart of it and around. I'll also be directly much more supportive and understanding and I'll sacrifice my important time and make time to be there and set this person a priority. I'll also be more interested in compatibility and compromise and I fall very easily into the companionship role as for me a relationship is a very close partnership...that person is kind of an extension of me.
Oxy Moronovich Posted January 31, 2012 Posted January 31, 2012 I agree with ninja. I'd avoid getting to know a girl deeply if it was just a short term relationship. Actually, avoid isn't the right word maybe. It's more like I wouldn't bother to ask.
TheSingleGuy Posted January 31, 2012 Posted January 31, 2012 I don't think there's a difference with me. I'd treat both women the same. The real difference would be in how often we see each other. Recently, if it's a girl that I know for certain I would never want as a girlfriend, I'll say "You know that we could never be boyfriend girlfriend. You do realize that, don't you?". And it seems to go over really well. But that line is just for the women I know for sure I don't want as a girlfriend, which, to this point, has always been a beauty issue. With most women, I honestly don't know what I want in the beginning. With each new girl I date, the idea of commitment early on is not on the radar screen because I can't see trading in my single life. But then one starts to take front and center and the next thing I know, she's the girlfriend.
Jynxx Posted January 31, 2012 Posted January 31, 2012 Not really. I try to stay myself and make both of us have a good time when we are together, if that is going well and easy I like to spend more time with her, if that isn't working as well as I would like it it's time to move on.
carhill Posted January 31, 2012 Posted January 31, 2012 Any woman who rises from the page is considered to be a long-term prospect. All others remain as acquaintances/strangers and are respected as such. So, no behavioral differences between STR/LTR because any woman whom I'm interested in romantically is for a LTR. I have enough friends and don't engage in casual sex. Keeps things simple.
thatone Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 i'm somewhere between carhill and oxy. i don't typically lie about anything. have i had FWBs and picked up women in bars? sure, here and there. not really my usual MO, though. on the few occasions that i have my intentions have been pretty clear, if only in a roundabout way. as in, like oxy said, i will tell them i'm going to see other friends and will specifically not invite them. i will mention other women i'm interested in to them. things like that.
Author spiderowl Posted March 13, 2012 Author Posted March 13, 2012 Thanks for the insights guys. It seems partly to come down to respect for them, having more time for them and being prepared to share more of yourself with them. Does anyone recognise a key behavioural change in themselves when they meet a girl who has relationship potential for them?
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