RockGuy87 Posted January 29, 2012 Posted January 29, 2012 So I finally got the phone call. She called 11 times in a row. Sent a text that said call me. Then left a voice mail that said " boy oh boy. All I can say is I miss you " I haven't said anything to her and haven't answered either. Idk what to do. My body is shaking. Been broken up 3 weeks. Slept with some other guy about a week and a half after we broke up from a year relationship. We haven't talked in a whole cause I've been doing NC. Idk what to do. I'm going to keep ignoring now. Until there's more that I have to go off of. I've been waiting for this day because part of me wants her back and misses her but I also fantasized that I would at least have the opportunity to shoot her down and let her know I know everything she has done after the break up.
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted January 29, 2012 Posted January 29, 2012 So I finally got the phone call. She called 11 times in a row. Sent a text that said call me. Then left a voice mail that said " boy oh boy. All I can say is I miss you " I haven't said anything to her and haven't answered either. Idk what to do. My body is shaking. Been broken up 3 weeks. Slept with some other guy about a week and a half after we broke up from a year relationship. We haven't talked in a whole cause I've been doing NC. Idk what to do. I'm going to keep ignoring now. Until there's more that I have to go off of. I've been waiting for this day because part of me wants her back and misses her but I also fantasized that I would at least have the opportunity to shoot her down and let her know I know everything she has done after the break up. Sounds like you already know the answer. She only stated that she misses you, this doesn't set you up to see a potential reconciliation in the future. Meaning you would not get the chance to shoot her down either if that is your ultimate goal. Stay NC, trust your instincts.
geegirl Posted January 29, 2012 Posted January 29, 2012 Now what? Now nothing. It's just a few phone calls with nothing of substance. She misses you? She didn't miss you when she was having sex with another man days after you two broke up. What do her words really mean in that sense? "Boy oh boy, all I can say is I miss you." It sounds callous and an inconsiderate acknowledgment of what you two had together. If someone wanted me back, it better be with more substance. Will you ever be able to trust her again or the depth of her feelings for you? I don't think so. NC and move on. Love is one thing but it takes more than that to have a healthy relationship. Trust is gone and that's one of the big ones. Move on.
lalalandman Posted January 29, 2012 Posted January 29, 2012 In total agreement with NC. She'll be going through a whirlwind of emotions, and you're not going to want to get swept up. Until the dust settles, stay NC.
Author RockGuy87 Posted January 29, 2012 Author Posted January 29, 2012 I'm not going to reply. Was never about to. You kidding me? It takes a whole lot more to get me to even think about talking. Saying she misses me isn't even close. I think the term is crawl back on broken glass? Only then will I maybe consider even just hearing her out.
geegirl Posted January 29, 2012 Posted January 29, 2012 I'm not going to reply. Was never about to. You kidding me? It takes a whole lot more to get me to even think about talking. Saying she misses me isn't even close. I think the term is crawl back on broken glass? Only then will I maybe consider even just hearing her out. Hear her out? The question is whether you can ever trust someone like her. Who cares if she crawls on broken glass or hops around the world backwards 27 times. Understand the type of person you are dealing with and if you'll ever be able to trust without looking over your shoulder. My guess is no. Aim for an already emotionally healthy and mature partner rather than settling for words that you hope would mean change.
Chi townD Posted January 29, 2012 Posted January 29, 2012 TOTALLY agree with Fluorescent. She wasn't missing you screwing that guy. So, she gets freaky with someone else and now that she has that out of her system, NOW she misses you? Doesn't work that way...stay NC.
Graceful Posted January 29, 2012 Posted January 29, 2012 She called 11 times in a row. Sent a text that said call me. Then left a voice mail that said " boy oh boy. All I can say is I miss you " I haven't said anything to her and haven't answered either. Idk what to do. My body is shaking. Been broken up 3 weeks. Slept with some other guy about a week and a half after we broke up from a year relationship. We haven't talked in a whole cause I've been doing NC. Idk what to do. I'm going to keep ignoring now. Rock, listen up. Your ex gives immaturity a bad name. I mean, this chick is so immature she wouldn't know what maturity was if it came and punched her in the nose. So I'll give her a figurative punch in the nose myself, b/c she irritates me, and she's just another annoying, spoiled, attention monger who, once she gets your attention, will just trample all over you again. Anyhow, she slept with someone else. That was poor judgement, so who needs that? Not you. You're holding all the cards, she's got nothin, and if I were you, I'd keep it that way.
Author RockGuy87 Posted January 29, 2012 Author Posted January 29, 2012 Well she has called more and texted more. She sent me a message also. Just little things. Like sry for calling last night and interrupting my vacation and to have a safe flight. Then she texted and asked to see me before I went back to school. She sent a cute video of us which I'm surprised she had. I can't believe she is going with that low blow. Still NC.
Frank13 Posted January 29, 2012 Posted January 29, 2012 Well she has called more and texted more. She sent me a message also. Just little things. Like sry for calling last night and interrupting my vacation and to have a safe flight. Then she texted and asked to see me before I went back to school. She sent a cute video of us which I'm surprised she had. I can't believe she is going with that low blow. Still NC. Keep us updated on her calls and texts. I find it interesting seeing what she will resort to next.
mike588 Posted January 29, 2012 Posted January 29, 2012 I'm kinda in the same boat as you... my ex. dumped me almost 6 months ago(one year relationship too) for her ex. I've been in strict N.C. for 6 months and early on this month she started to make contact with me...emails... telling me that she still cares...how good I was to her was to her blah blah blah. She's now contacted me 3 times and I've ignored them all..I'm not interested in talking with her...seeing her...I just don't love her anymore and want her to leave me alone..I've moved on..I'm ok now...Finally! Take all the advise given to you here...ignore her..move on...when the past calls it has nothing new to say.
stitch702 Posted January 29, 2012 Posted January 29, 2012 Hey man stay N/C...it can get hard, but it really does give you time to get a control of your emotions. My ex hooked up with some guy 2 weeks after we broke up. She tried to contact me eventually but I ignored it because I wasn't emotionally ready to have that conversation with her. It has officially been 3 months since our break up and about 2 1/2 months of N/C. All I can see is I feel so much stronger now and better. I'm able to really focus on myself and do the things that I want to do. There are still good days and bad days, but I truly believe that I have managed to let go, she's not my problem anymore and this girl is not your problem anymore. Trust me there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Why be with someone who left you to test out somebody else...and how can you possibly salvage a relationship after that. She may not have cheated on you, but that trust is officially broken because you will be thinking about her banging another guy when you're with her and it'll kill you
mike588 Posted January 29, 2012 Posted January 29, 2012 Or at least it should. If my ex slept with someone 2 weeks after our breakup it would KILL me. I would get physically sick and I would need to take a week off work. No matter how much love I had for my ex, I would be 1000% sure that person is not the right person for me. Yet Rock can't see that. It concerns me to be honest. Can you imagine on your wedding Rock day looking 'proudly' down on your wife, known she banged a guy 2 weeks after breaking up with you!? At least you would have you white picket fence right? Seriously this should be so clear to you, yet it's not. Why Rock?Please don't give me "I love her" nonsense. I mean what would it take to open your eyes? Her banging the guy in front of you? I don't think there is any point in letting her have it. Trust me it won't achieve anything and she will probably just put it back on you. People that are fooling themselves about the extent of their personal problems tend to put it back on you. My ex was a master at it. She will probably be the same. Rock try to think logically here. Read and more importantly absorb what people are telling you...We have all been there. All of us have experienced what you have. Please trust us. This woman will mess you about if you go back.. U deserve better, we all deserve better. You need to figure out why you don't want better... I too wanted to let my ex "have it" there was a time I so wanted to get back at her....to hurt her (not physically) for hurting me...to make her pay!! Now I could care less... I'm not stooping that low...she's not worth it and I can (and so can you) do better. My ex was most likely banging her ex. while we were together....if not I'm 100% sure it was the same night that she dumped me. I know and have felt the anger...it's not worth it..focus that negative energy on improving yourself.
Dark Phoenix Posted January 30, 2012 Posted January 30, 2012 (edited) Or at least it should. If my ex slept with someone 2 weeks after our breakup it would KILL me. I would get physically sick and I would need to take a week off work. No matter how much love I had for my ex, I would be 1000% sure that person is not the right person for me. Yet Rock can't see that. It concerns me to be honest. Can you imagine on your wedding Rock day looking 'proudly' down on your wife, known she banged a guy 2 weeks after breaking up with you!? At least you would have you white picket fence right? Seriously this should be so clear to you, yet it's not. Why Rock?Please don't give me "I love her" nonsense. I mean what would it take to open your eyes? Her banging the guy in front of you? This is retroactive jealousy. This isnt everyone's problem. People have sex all the time, in and out of relationships. Breaking up with someone to have sex with someone else is the morally and emotionally correct thing to do. If it didnt work out, then they have a right to try and ask the dumpee back. Its up to that person to figure out if they understand why they did it and can let go of the past and forgive. My personal opinion on this thread is how many times has she called and texted? To me thats crawling back on broken glass. Look at the action. That's insane the amount of times shes called and texted. The words "Boy oh Boy" mean I made a mistake. As for the term immature that has been posted in this thread, she was actually very mature in doing what she did. Edited January 30, 2012 by Dark Phoenix
Chi townD Posted January 30, 2012 Posted January 30, 2012 (edited) This is retroactive jealousy. This isnt everyone's problem. People have sex all the time, in and out of relationships. Breaking up with someone to have sex with someone else is the morally and emotionally correct thing to do. If it didnt work out, then they have a right to try and ask the dumpee back. As for the term immature that has been posted in this thread, she was actually very mature in doing what she did. Actually, I agree and disagree with your post. You are right, the morally correct thing to do if you're interested in someone else is to break up with your partner and THEN pursue other interests. However, once you make that choice, then you've decided that you want your Ex out of your life. Now, if she just broke up wiith him to pursue her new crush and once she got her fill of hooking up with this guy and NOW wants to come back. Well, that's not fair to Rock. This should be a relationship and not a relationship of convenience. "I'll be with you until I find someone else that seems exciting to me. Then, I'll drop you for a while and come back when I'm bored. But, you can't get mad or jealous at what I've done! Because, WE WEREN'T TOGETHER!" How convenient.... She choose to break up with Rock, that was her choice. She made the choice to have Rock OUT OF HER LIFE. And yeah, I think Rock has every right to be upset with finding out she hooked up with some dude immediate after their break-up. In my opinion, it shows me that she didn't really care about Rock or the relationship AT ALL. She didn't even mourn the end of the relationship. If I just got out of a relationship where I invested love, time and emotions, the LAST thing I would be thinking of doing is dating or hooking up with random girls. Of course, that's just my opinion. Still, I am kinda curious as to what she's been texting..... Edited January 30, 2012 by Chi townD
Author RockGuy87 Posted January 30, 2012 Author Posted January 30, 2012 Hey guys ill update you. She has called probably about 15 times since I last posted and texted about 10. In the texts she just says "I didnt realize. I just didnt" "I miss you a lot But thats nevers gonna change. You will always have me ****. Whether you like it or not." Then she sent two pics of us together after sending the video before.
Dark Phoenix Posted January 30, 2012 Posted January 30, 2012 (edited) Actually, I agree and disagree with your post. You are right, the morally correct thing to do if you're interested in someone else is to break up with your partner and THEN pursue other interests. However, once you make that choice, then you've decided that you want your Ex out of your life. This is your perception. Its not everyone elses Now, if she just broke up wiith him to pursue her new crush and once she got her fill of hooking up with this guy and NOW wants to come back. Well, that's not fair to Rock. This should be a relationship and not a relationship of convenience. "I'll be with you until I find someone else that seems exciting to me. Then, I'll drop you for a while and come back when I'm bored. But, you can't get mad or jealous at what I've done! Because, WE WEREN'T TOGETHER!" How convenient.... Why is this not fair? Rock can go out and sleep with other people! She choose to break up with Rock, that was her choice. She made the choice to have Rock OUT OF HER LIFE. And yeah, I think Rock has every right to be upset with finding out she hooked up with some dude immediate after their break-up. In my opinion, it shows me that she didn't really care about Rock or the relationship AT ALL. She didn't even mourn the end of the relationship. Remember this is your point of view. Does it hurt finding this out, absolutely. It would honestly hurt me too and it did hurt me when I found this out. Sometimes pain is life's greatest teacher. I learned understanding from the pain that was caused me. People want to go out and try new things. This mentality is actually selfish that you have because you dont have this understanding. Its your way or the high way. As for your saying she doesnt care about Rock, thats bull ****. One thing you will learn is that you will always care. Hey guys ill update you. She has called probably about 15 times since I last posted and texted about 10. In the texts she just says "I didnt realize. I just didnt" "I miss you a lot But thats nevers gonna change. You will always have me ****. Whether you like it or not." Then she sent two pics of us together after sending the video before. Rock, shes crawling back on broken glass, you got your wish. Edited January 30, 2012 by Dark Phoenix
Chi townD Posted January 30, 2012 Posted January 30, 2012 This is your perception. Its not everyone elses Why is this not fair? Rock can go out and sleep with other people! Remember this is your point of view. Does it hurt finding this out, absolutely. It would honestly hurt me too and it did hurt me when I found this out. Sometimes pain is life's greatest teacher. I learned understanding from the pain that was caused me. People want to go out and try new things. This mentality is actually selfish that you have because you dont have this understanding. Its your way or the high way. As for your saying she doesnt care about Rock, thats bull ****. One thing you will learn is that you will always care. Rock, shes crawling back on broken glass, you got your wish. That's why in my post, I stated that in my opinion; therefore, yes! it is my point of view. What is selfish is that in LESS than two weeks, she's sleeping with someone else. While things are still painful and raw. You are right pain is a good learning tool. A child gets a finger too close to a flame and gets burned, that's a painful lesson to learn, and one that is probably NEVER repeated by that child. Therefore, Rock got burned and you feel he should put his finger back in that flame? Sorry, I would want to revisit that pain. She dumped him, it's not the other way around. If he wants to forgive her, then by all means! PERSONALLY, I could forgive her as a person, but not as a girlfriend. Did she make a mistake? Probably, but that's a mistake she has to live with because Rock doesn't have to. So, is everything I'm writing screams selfish behavior? Maybe. But, sometimes you have to be selfish because if you don't stand up for yourself and your self respect, no one else will. I still strongly recommend staying NC, heal and move on. Who knows what the future for Rock. Perphaps after a while their paths may cross again. But, to take a page out of your book, " Rock can go out and sleep with other people." which is a very true statement. There's tons of girls out there that knows how to treat a guy right.
Sugarkane Posted January 30, 2012 Posted January 30, 2012 Actions speak louder than words. She is playing you.
EgoJoe Posted January 30, 2012 Posted January 30, 2012 Rock, buddy, I know how the shaking and the confusion and the fact that you'd like to talk to her but she'd have to move mountains etc. I know exactly how you feel. I want you to forget about the other guy and everything else for awhile. It is ok to just ignore this contact and focus on yourself. Look, I know it is tough...but think about it like this. This will be much easier and you leave yourself less room to generate regret over having done the wrong thing by doing nothing. If she is sincere, she will understand, try and focus on yourself, man. I know it is tough with all of these perspectives, perceptions, the contextualizations and the people who want to see you do well. Listen to these girls, especially Geegirl and Graceful. They are very nice and caring girls. The vindictiveness they are displaying is (in my opinion) their way of attempting to get through to you. I'm not always right, shoot, I had the wrong opinion about Fluorescent after reading a few of her posts etc. But, I don't think I am wrong about this. I think that by doing nothing here and continuing to focus on you: Mr. Important the biggest shot in your life, I think that you will feel much better than by focusing on her. She is a wreck and you know it. If you truly love her, let her learn this lesson and fix herself. True love isn't attachment.
lalalandman Posted January 30, 2012 Posted January 30, 2012 To the OP, I think you and your ex are confused. Understand that you just won't see any fruition from a confused person, especially if you're just as confused. If she's able to screw with your head, then you have no bearing. They can sense that. So just concentrate on you. Once you're at 110%, then possibly reconsider. Get your mojo back Austin. BTW, I think more than half the time, your dumper ex is in the sack with someone else within the first week. But there's no use playing the blame game after the fact. You'll have to look to the past to discover the REAL issues. I think sleeping with someone else just cements the breakup. It hurts, but it's forgivable. So my point is, don't concentrate on the other guy. Concentrate on you.
lalalandman Posted January 30, 2012 Posted January 30, 2012 I'm not saying Forgiveness=Reconciliation. I'm not even saying he has to forgive her now. But at some point, he'll just HAVE to. It's truly the only medicine for a bitter heart. When you said "I don't know what city you come from..." I bust out laughing because I live in LA. I don't think it has alot to do with my original point because I was basing it off personal experience so no, it doesn't apply to all circumstances.
Author RockGuy87 Posted January 30, 2012 Author Posted January 30, 2012 I forgot to mention. That when she was calling up a storm last night and couldnt get ahold of me. She even reached out and sent my dad a message ask if he knew where i was just to try and get in touch with me. He also tried to add me as a friend on facebook.
Philosoraptor Posted January 30, 2012 Posted January 30, 2012 Sounds like what she had outside of youre relationship didn't work out as well as she planned and is grasping terribly at what was comfortable before. For whatever reason she wasn't happy with what you two had before, sometimes things just don't work out. But I've read your past and you can see her emotional level is that of a child... you know pursuing anything with her will have her leaving when she finds herself unahppy with something. Just the way she is chasing you shows immaturity. A mature person would come to you and speak rationally. A clear letter, converation, statement...w/e stating what he or she did wrong in the past, how they will mitigate those issues in the future, and a clear statement of what they want and hope to acheive in the future with you.
Chi townD Posted January 30, 2012 Posted January 30, 2012 I forgot to mention. That when she was calling up a storm last night and couldnt get ahold of me. She even reached out and sent my dad a message ask if he knew where i was just to try and get in touch with me. He also tried to add me as a friend on facebook. WOW! She's very persistant to say the least. But her texting, " You will always have me, whether you like it or not." That's.....a little disturbing....
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