Beaten_down Posted January 29, 2012 Posted January 29, 2012 I will try and make this short, I was introduced to a woman back around the end of Nov. We went out for two dates and she called me and said she has been in a FWB relationship and has feelings for him and could not see me. Well I was not happy about it but I moved on and almost forgot about her, then on Jan 8th I get a text from her. She proceeds to tell me she had to work through the feelings that she had for the other guy, and that she wanted me back and would be honored if she could take me out on a date. I agreed I was out of town so we got together when I returned home on the 17th She was telling the whole time I was away how much she missed me and could not wait to see me. The date on the 17th was great there were dates the following three days also. She quickly became intimate with me and she showered me with all the sweet words you can imagine. She would initiate texts throughout the day between the 17th and the 26th a large portion of her texts were very very flirty. and she continued to tell me how much she really liked me and missed me. Well I began to notice around the 24th that all the flirty texts had stopped, she still would initiate texts but nothing like before. Then on the 26th the day started out fine she initiated the first text of the day, and several more during the morning. Nothing seemed really wrong except the flirty texting was gone, Then at 12 noon she calls me and breaks up with me basically saying that she just did not feel anything towards me. That same day I talked to the woman who introduced us and she spoke with her just before she called to break up with me. She never told her she was going to do that but complained to her that she believed that I was too nice and she was having a problem with that. Most of these problems began after i had given her a small gift because she had just bought a new home, it was nothing big just something to be a house warming gift. I had also bought a small bracelet for her while I was out of town not extravagant just something to say I was thinking about her. And she had mentioned her BD that a friend was going to take to NYC so all I said was thats awesome speaking of your BD what would you like for your BD She freaked on me saying dont get me anything. Then I mentioned valentines I asked her would she be upset if I gave her flowers not roses just flowers, again I was told dont do it. I have a hard time believing that those gifts and the mention of her BD and valentines did this. The break up came out of nowhere I did not see it coming at all I did email her two times she did answer me only to say very a matter of fact that the more she got to know me she discovered that I was not the man for her. My question is especially to any women on here does she sound like she is being honest with me, or is it all lies and do you think the FWB guy is back in the picture. I sorta feel like the rebound guy or something. I really liked her and really believed what she was telling me to get me back. thanks in advance for your input
Buttercup84 Posted January 29, 2012 Posted January 29, 2012 Seems like the fwb thing didn't work out ( she caught feelings ) and she turned to you . She says she misses you all the time , sends you texts then says she does not feel the same ? She has issues and you are too good for her .
Author Beaten_down Posted January 29, 2012 Author Posted January 29, 2012 I think your right Buttercup, I had a very hard time trying to understand how I could have possibly been too nice. I mean I did not know it was possible to be too nice to someone. Her FWB guy is the bad boy type so maybe thats what she meant. I dont really know all I know was I was left very confused over the whole thing. How can a woman go from sounding and acting totally into you and turn on a dime. I realize maybe I was too accessible to her and too available. Maybe I should have been more of a challenge to her a little more aloof.
geegirl Posted January 29, 2012 Posted January 29, 2012 (edited) I'm not sure why you think she is lying. Accept her decision as is. Her FWB could be back or she reached out to you to fill a void when she was having issues with her FWB. You'll never know for sure. In any case she does not sound like she can invest in you emotionally. Her actions are what you need to be focusing on. If you have to be aloof and pretend to be a challenge to attract someone, you are not being yourself. You're playing games to entice. Trying to be her type, the bad boy? Not the way to a healthy start. Edited January 29, 2012 by geegirl
M2155 Posted January 29, 2012 Posted January 29, 2012 Wow that seems like a lot in a very short period of time. I'm weary of anyone that comes on too fast, too quickly. I agree with Geegirl, sounds like she was trying to fill a void or emotionally rebound from her FWB dude. I don't think I've ever met anyone that has told an eligible candidate that they are in a FWB relationship either..interesting. Anyway, my guess is she's not ready and probably carrying a lot of baggage right now. Too nice=just an excuse. She didn't feel the same way she thought you did cause she is caught up in her other guy.
Chi townD Posted January 29, 2012 Posted January 29, 2012 I don't know why...but I get the feeling that she HASN'T work through her feelings for her Ex and is now feeling guilty for all of the nice things that you have been doing for her. Thus, you're too nice of a guy for her to be involved with because she MIGHT still be seeing her Ex and the guilt is eating at her. Dude, would just say, cut this one loose and wait for the RIGHT girl to come along. Ignore her texts and phonecalls. Go NC.
Author Beaten_down Posted January 29, 2012 Author Posted January 29, 2012 I wish I would have read some of these posts earlier. I actually sent her a email around noon today. I just said Hi hope we can still be friendly to each other. She responded back saying: 1)She is sorry for handling things all wrong. 2)It was too much too soon she felt like we went from 0 to 60 in a week. 3)that she felt smothered and that the gifts were ok but the mention of her BD and valentines day and me staying over did her in lol 4)That I did not cause it to end she just dont feel the way about me that she should and in the end that would not be fair to either of us to keep seeing each other she says that I am a great guy and not to be a stranger. All that after everything she said to me last week telling me that "I cant wait to get to know you better, You are exactly what I have been looking for" "I will be thinking about you all night at work" Has to be all lies how can someone say those things and act that way then turn completely against you in such a short time. It makes no sense to me Oh well I should not have emailed her all I feel like now is pathetic and I look weak. You all are right I should just move on I know it was a short time but I really liked this woman and wanted to see this work out, But I know I dont want to have to convince someone to be with me thats just sad. I want someone who wants to be with me. Thanks for your words of support you all are such a big help.
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