Rimer Posted January 28, 2012 Posted January 28, 2012 Well.. I did it.. totally drunk last night I txtd the ex "How's It Going" and I got an answer in the morning that it's all ok, that she's busy with work and that our dog has been sick. Few text's back and fourth nothing about US from both sides.. but.. I don't feel sad or joy from getting the text's. I don't feel anything. Good or bad. Am I finally on the path to healing am I over her?
geegirl Posted January 28, 2012 Posted January 28, 2012 Well.. I did it.. totally drunk last night I txtd the ex "How's It Going" and I got an answer in the morning that it's all ok, that she's busy with work and that our dog has been sick. Few text's back and fourth nothing about US from both sides.. but.. I don't feel sad or joy from getting the text's. I don't feel anything. Good or bad. Am I finally on the path to healing am I over her? Healing to me is keeping away from what it is that hurt me in the first place. If you had a severe burn on your hand. Would you keep going back to the fire or stepping away and protecting that wound, allowing it to heal? Alcohol is a depressant. While you are still emotionally affected, you should try to stay away. You're not over her. I had a little too much a few days ago and did I want to text an ex, any ex? No. I'm over all of them. They don't cross my mind. I am indifferent. Did it magnify some bad emotions that I'm currently feeling about someone that just left my life, yes. Gauge your progress when you can get drunk without wanting to reach out to an ex.
stab17 Posted January 28, 2012 Posted January 28, 2012 for some reason I have been drinking every weekend too. I haven't had the feeling of texting my ex. but last night when I was out, I really felt depressed and was so bummed out I bailed on all my friends and went home.. I wanted to really text or call my ex last night. good thing I didn't... phew
moosekaka Posted January 28, 2012 Posted January 28, 2012 Alcohol is a depressant. While you are still emotionally affected, you should try to stay away. You're not over her. I had a little too much a few days ago and did I want to text an ex, any ex? No. I'm over all of them. They don't cross my mind. I am indifferent. Did it magnify some bad emotions that I'm currently feeling about someone that just left my life, yes. you know I have been wondering, I got drunk everyday during the hellish breakup period, than I was prescribed xanax and I stopped drinking completely. after two months, I thought whats the harm in ONE beer every now and then? Well I definitely am not buzzed, but lately when I wake up in the morning I feel worse than usual, like my heart is heavier than usual, nothing else has changed still working out like a freak and everything and taking my meds, so do I blame it on the alcohol? My tolerance used to be like 5-6 beers before I got buzzed. I think I will try to refrain completely from alcohol and see if it makes a difference, problem is I just bought a 12 pack and still have 9 left....
Author Rimer Posted January 29, 2012 Author Posted January 29, 2012 Thing is as many here say I need to forgive her and myself. I feel i'm closer and closer to that.. maybe that's why It didn't feel so bad or good
cerridwen Posted January 29, 2012 Posted January 29, 2012 Thing is as many here say I need to forgive her and myself. I feel i'm closer and closer to that.. maybe that's why It didn't feel so bad or good I don't know your story, Rimer, so I can't speak to forgiving her. But if forgiving yourself is helping you reach of place of indifference, bravo. IMO, a solid sign of complete healing is not wanting to text her, period. Drunk or no, it just doesn't appeal. Oftentimes, it doesn't even occur to you. Of, if it pops into one's mind, just as quickly one thinks "nehhhh." Keep working toward indifference, Rimer. It sounds like you're right down the street from it.
Philosoraptor Posted January 30, 2012 Posted January 30, 2012 From reading and responding to your story I am inclined to believe you are at a high point. You seem to have been jumping around and though you were ok at the time of posting, I wouldn't be surprised if you've been overanalyzing things since. But if you are truly good, I am very happy for you
Author Rimer Posted January 30, 2012 Author Posted January 30, 2012 From reading and responding to your story I am inclined to believe you are at a high point. You seem to have been jumping around and though you were ok at the time of posting, I wouldn't be surprised if you've been overanalyzing things since. But if you are truly good, I am very happy for you Hey.. I know you've been following my story and given me a lot good advice and help. I was wondering when you'd chip in I've been on an all around the emotional rollercoaster. Suprisingly I haven't been overanalyzing the text as before I would have started to think .. she txtd me back.. maybe it means she still has feelings for me.. Sure that crossed my mind but I didn't start to wollow on that feeling for a week or two like I'd before and overanalyze it. Maybe my anti-d are finally starting to kick in or something. Like you said time and time again you have to find forgiveness to yourself and your ex. I'm not there yet but I think in the right direction. The thing I think im finally getting through to my head is I have to put me first before I can love anyone again that I first gotta love myself for who I am. That means I first gotta find myself, who am I really.. As for being in a high point that could be.. as it's been a rollercoaster and I could come back rolling down again.. hopefully I wont.. I wont start to think about that as I would before when I got a little better I was like "oh well.. this wont last for long.. soon i'll be going downhill again" Gotta finally get that bucket list started... Gotta kick myself in gear.. Would be a lot easier if I didn't have to work 12hours shifts a bit tired once I get home and haven't had energy goto the gym in few weeks Thanks a lot to everyone responding in this thread.. always apprectiate all the advice / comments
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