vesper16 Posted January 28, 2012 Posted January 28, 2012 This is an interesting one, I thought I would post it here to get some feedback. A girl and I were having dinner a few nights ago, during the meal she got distracted, and accidentally spilt some food, not a big deal, just one of those things that doesn't look particularly elegant. She responded by saying "How embarrassing. I was staring at you" and then started to giggle. I am a fairly private person so I don't normally like to share details of the dates I go on, but this was a little curious and it made me think that she might be shy, which is a little bit surprising because she's normally quite talkative/outgoing. I used to be shy myself, but if she is shy around guys that she likes, then perhaps I should take things a bit slow and gain her trust first before developing a physical relationship? Background: she's 25, and I'm 28. We're not officially dating, we were friends before and have just recently started to spend a bit more time together, and had dinner a few times which went reasonably well.
silvermercy Posted January 28, 2012 Posted January 28, 2012 Yup, I'm a shy girl and would suggest do what you said in your post. Go a bit slowly. Of course every girl's different, even shy ones, so who knows... You need to judge the situation in your meetings with her. I suppose she will give you a few small clues as to how to proceed.
chelsea2011 Posted January 28, 2012 Posted January 28, 2012 I'm shy too when it comes to someone I am interested in, so I agree with silvermercy. I'm talkitive with people I have no interest in. When I am interested I can be quite shy and turn into a complete klutz sometimes...lol. Just reach out to her and alleviate her worries by letting her know everything is okay. Tell her you think it's cute that she gets all nervous around you. Then spill something on yourself so she knows it's not that bad! Just kidding. Just joke around with her about it and tell her you feel honored. Then show your chivalrous side and make sure she gets what she needs to clean up appropriately (if stuff spiled on her that is). Show her it's not a big deal and accidents happen, in other words. It will break down her walls a bit; after the redness subsides of course! I think most people are shy around people they are interested in though.
Cypress25 Posted January 28, 2012 Posted January 28, 2012 Why do you think she's shy? Because she spilled food and was a little embarrassed? It actually sounds like she handled it very well. She made a joke about it and laughed it off. If she was painfully shy, she probably would have turned beet red and ducked under the table. Sounds like you got yourself a perfectly normal girl, so just be yourself around her.
Author vesper16 Posted January 30, 2012 Author Posted January 30, 2012 Thanks for the feedback. I would agree that she is not particularly shy, and is actually very self-aware most of the time, but she seemed to lose a bit of her usual confidence around me... we were both a bit awkward around each other actually. It was raining when we left the restaurant and I opened my umbrella a bit clumsily and sprayed some water (not all on her!), she just laughed and said I'd make the worst formal date ever... which is probably true!!
ditzchic Posted January 30, 2012 Posted January 30, 2012 Since you said she was normally talkative and outgoing, I really doubt she is shy. She sounds more nervous to me. She might be unsure of her feelings for you so she is claming up until she gets a more firm footing of what she wants. I've been this girl a few times. Take you're own advice and go slow with her. Your main goal right now should be to get her comfortable with you.
maybealone Posted January 30, 2012 Posted January 30, 2012 It sounds more like nerves to me too. I'm like chelsea2011 -- when I like someone I can be nervous and klutzy. And to me, admitting that she was staring at you means she likes you.
HeavenOrHell Posted January 30, 2012 Posted January 30, 2012 I'm shy, but this doesn't necessarily mean I don't want sex early on in a r/ship I initiated stuff with my current partner and my ex. This is an interesting one, I thought I would post it here to get some feedback. A girl and I were having dinner a few nights ago, during the meal she got distracted, and accidentally spilt some food, not a big deal, just one of those things that doesn't look particularly elegant. She responded by saying "How embarrassing. I was staring at you" and then started to giggle. I am a fairly private person so I don't normally like to share details of the dates I go on, but this was a little curious and it made me think that she might be shy, which is a little bit surprising because she's normally quite talkative/outgoing. I used to be shy myself, but if she is shy around guys that she likes, then perhaps I should take things a bit slow and gain her trust first before developing a physical relationship? Background: she's 25, and I'm 28. We're not officially dating, we were friends before and have just recently started to spend a bit more time together, and had dinner a few times which went reasonably well.
Author vesper16 Posted February 18, 2012 Author Posted February 18, 2012 Update... Well, it looks like she was just nervous, not shy. I gave her a single rose on Valentine's Day as didn't want to do anything too over the top and that seems to have provided the spark to make her more confident, we since met up for drinks after work and she suggested that we find a booth so we could have more privacy, and I felt she was giving me the green light to make a move, I was a bit shy still, but we progressed to occasional cuddling, she seemed fine with physical contact as she put her arms around me and squeezed my hand when I took hers. I was still really nervous, but I think she gave me enough encouragement to show she was still interested. Now just to keep my nerves under control...
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