Oplimme Posted January 28, 2012 Posted January 28, 2012 (edited) Well, basically I'll keep this short. Me and this guy had about a 5 month thing where there were a lot of emotional highs and lows. It basically culminated with us ending our little ordeal, but two days later we decided we could still be friends. However, I'm noticing a markedly different person on the other end. I'm completely fine with being friends, or even friends with benefits. It was like that very much during the course of our little union, lots of sexual talk and whatnot. Lots of chatting about music, sports, and political ideals. Lots of talking. Now, it's like pulling teeth. He used to initiate a text conversation every day, at around afternoon time. Now it's like...nothing. Whenever he texts me, it's in reference to when we were "together" and that he's sorry (because he broke it off). I'm kinda like, yeah, OK. Can we have some semblance of a friendship? I haven't actually said that, but I'm soooo close to saying it outright. I don't want to flood him with myself. But I'm not understanding this disconnect. This behavior is a sudden change, and he won't give any hints or clues as to why. I'm thinking I should just ask next time he initiates, but then, I don't want to alienate him with the idea that I'm "needy." What should I do? I want a friendship, possibly FWB. But he's being distant, distant, distant. This entire "breakup" thing happened about two days ago or so. It's very fresh, I guess. I'm ready, but...he's not answering. Edited January 28, 2012 by Oplimme
xpaperxcutx Posted January 28, 2012 Posted January 28, 2012 You know why many women settle for fwbs? It's because the guy doesn't want to date them so they ' settle' for the next best thing as a means to keep him around. I can tell u right now a woman who truly does not want a relationship couldcare lessswhy he's not calling. You need to start thinking about your needs and finding someone who is receptive to you rather than someone who doesn't want a relationship and now doesn't even thonk you're worth sleeping with.
silvermercy Posted January 28, 2012 Posted January 28, 2012 I agree with not going down the FWB route. Because you know deep down you don't want this route. So why do that to yourself? You'll be settling and putting yourself at an even higher risk of heartbreak. He's not gonna magically turn into an ideal boyfriend. For your own sake don't do it. Also, are you sure he has not met someone else? Or perhaps he's trying to go No Contact but he's doing it slowly. I think you should do the same but do it immediately.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted January 28, 2012 Posted January 28, 2012 I agree with the other two ladies that responded. I am strongly against you having a FWB relationship with this person. Sometimes people say "we are going to be friends!" But they don't really mean it. It's sometimes just used as a means to soften the blow to an end of a relationship.
Author Oplimme Posted January 28, 2012 Author Posted January 28, 2012 (edited) Umm sorry to the first who responded but I am not female. I am gay, a male. And this relationship involves two men, not a man and a woman. I honestly do want a friendship with this person. I'm not really caring about being dumped, really. Edited January 28, 2012 by Oplimme
Oxy Moronovich Posted January 28, 2012 Posted January 28, 2012 OP, he only dumped you a few days ago. How do you know he doesn't have other stuff on his mind? Give it til Valentines Day. If he doesn't show any interest then why don't you definitely move on. In any case, you should already consider other things. Relationships can happen like that sometimes. Sometimes they just end without any real understanding as to the reasons why. It happens.
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