MammaMia Posted January 28, 2012 Posted January 28, 2012 Hi everyone. I have not posted for sometime but this time I need advice for a friend. I was talking to a friend last night and she told me that her H had an EA ( not sure if it was a PA) for 5 months. Someone at work called her and told her that her H was seen with a co-worker way too often. I told her about the 180. She had a couple of questions that I did not have a clear answer to. Remember thatH told her it is over ( i advised her not to be so sure) 1) How can she implement the 180 when they live under the same roof? 2) Since H is claiming that the A is over, what rules of the 180 would benefit her better? 3)Any extra advice? Thanks
Spark1111 Posted January 29, 2012 Posted January 29, 2012 Well, if he is serious about reconciling and it is truly over, your friend needs him to be totally transparent; passwords to all accounts such as cell phone, cell phone records, work computer, Facebook, everything.....if he hesitates, that should speak volumes to her. Surprise him. Ask to check his phone. Also, surprise him at work and ask to go to lunch. Your friend should start dropping by unexpectedly and get to know the support staff: schmooze the secretaries, the security guard on the way to her H's office. She should send her spouse flowers and cards for no reason at all. Make as public a display as possible that you are romantically engaged with your spouse in the workplace. His reaction should speak volumes to her. The 180 is designed for those whose spouse is still waffling between the AP and the spouse. It is where the BS gets busy working on themselves; friends, school, work, gym and begins to create a life for themselves with not too much thought to the spouse. A Happy one. You state your conditions to reconcile but do not pay too much attention to the affair relationship. Actually, the first rule is no more contact with the AP whatsoever, but if there is, oh well, I have a bright happy future with or without you. She can google the 180. But I think she may need a keylogger and a voice activated tape recorder under his front seat. After he hands over all his passwords.
frozensprouts Posted January 29, 2012 Posted January 29, 2012 I would advise your friend that even if her husband gives her all the email passwwords, etc., it is very easy to set up a web based email account (hotmail,gmail, yahoomail, etc.) that she would not know about. depending on which web browser he uses ( e.g.-Firefox, Internet Explorer) she may be able to track his activity even if he clears the browsing history by checking the tracking cookies left after he uses the internet ( e.g.-if he says he uses "outlook" for mail, but she checks the tracking cookies and finds some cookies for gmail, hotmail, etc., she will know he has used them). The problem with this though, is that her husband can simply choose to "start private browsing", in which case, unless she installs a remote keylogger, she'll never know for sure what he was doing.
robf1971 Posted January 30, 2012 Posted January 30, 2012 Hi everyone. I have not posted for sometime but this time I need advice for a friend. I was talking to a friend last night and she told me that her H had an EA ( not sure if it was a PA) for 5 months. Someone at work called her and told her that her H was seen with a co-worker way too often. I told her about the 180. She had a couple of questions that I did not have a clear answer to. Remember thatH told her it is over ( i advised her not to be so sure) 1) How can she implement the 180 when they live under the same roof? 2) Since H is claiming that the A is over, what rules of the 180 would benefit her better? 3)Any extra advice? Thanks Your friends best implementation of the 180 is to stop being a doormat. She should pack his bags and sling him out. Tell him to go live with his co worker and be happy!!
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