PIM Posted January 28, 2012 Posted January 28, 2012 (edited) I've been having a debate in my own mind about whether or not I should put down my salary range on my dating profile. On the one hand I make a very good living, I'm proud of how hard I worked and the successes I've achieved and I figure why not use what I can to my advantage? On the other hand I find it a bit unseemly to try and attract women this way and also I'm afraid of attracting the wrong type of woman. But is this too cynical? I guess going back to the title of this posting: Is putting your salary on your OLD account douchey? Edited January 28, 2012 by PIM
USMCHokie Posted January 28, 2012 Posted January 28, 2012 I guess going back to the title of this posting: Is putting your salary on your OLD account douchey? I honestly don't think so; just don't lie about it. I personally don't do it, though.
FitChick Posted January 28, 2012 Posted January 28, 2012 Which website requires salary range? The one I'm on just uses general terms like solvent, comfortable, wealthy, etc. which I think is less intrusive.
RecordProducer Posted January 28, 2012 Posted January 28, 2012 I make a very good living, I'm proud of how hard I worked and the successes I've achieved. You can put this in your profile, if you haven't already. This is enough and the woman has to read your profile in order to find this information. Also, this will not attract the ones who quickly skim profiles for the salary section. I'm afraid of attracting the wrong type of woman. But is this too cynical? No, it's a very legitimate concern. But just so you know, no man who makes a good living is immune to gold diggers. They can find a way to dig your gold. Is putting your salary on your OLD account douchey? No, not at all. It's fine either way, at least with me. In fact, I prefer to know. I do ignore men who make less than a certain figure because I am about to graduate from law school, so I am looking for an equal in all aspects. On the other hand, men also lie about their income.
Ninjainpajamas Posted January 28, 2012 Posted January 28, 2012 I would suggest that you do not and in fact make it out like you made a very average salary, nothing impressive or an eye-catcher. Be vague about your work title, and don't go into much of what you do for work or a living. Some men need to use their income as a crutch and some women are exclusively looking for men who can take care of them or match their income for the little white picket fence dream when they get you to knock em up, get married and then take half your **** when they leave. So I'd be wary about it, women are just as shallow as men when finding a partner, don't let them fool you into thinking they don't care either way whether you make a good deal of money or not when they already know you do. I've talked to a few pretty successful older men (beyond 150k a year) who always talk about not getting a woman who wants you for your money and how one guys drove a beat up car and pretended he was poor and when that one girl stuck around he married her lol, and they've been married forever. But depending on what you want, you could also use this as a ploy to get laid, since these women who are after you for your money, you could turn the tables and go after them for their muffin. However I wouldn't spend money on them, just let them think they are going to get all of it but drop em like a rock when you're done with them Just don't marry them or knock em up! (unless that's your thing :S )
colliejoanie Posted January 28, 2012 Posted January 28, 2012 As a woman who has used online dating sites......I wouldn't put a salary on there...... I make good money, and I see that (a man listing his salary) as him trying to impress a girl. I can tell by the pics and by the profile if this is someone i want to date.....not the salary.
Star Gazer Posted January 28, 2012 Posted January 28, 2012 It's not douchey, but I don't believe what guys put under income unless it's on the lower end. IME, they lie about that even more often than their height.
Author PIM Posted January 28, 2012 Author Posted January 28, 2012 Hmm... that's a good point. It didn't occur to me that women sometimes don't believe what's on men's profiles. Actually now that I think about it the last girl I was with from OLD, as a goof, decided to measure my height and actually was surprised to find that I DIDN'T lie about my height haha.
Imajerk17 Posted January 28, 2012 Posted January 28, 2012 Putting down your salary isn't "douchey" per se, but it is a terrible idea. You DON'T want a woman interested in meeting you because you have a lot of money. It's just a great way to get used.
Oxy Moronovich Posted January 28, 2012 Posted January 28, 2012 If you're gonna put your salary on there, you might as well put your penis size too.
Ross MwcFan Posted January 28, 2012 Posted January 28, 2012 I'm not sure if it's douchey, maybe it is a bit. But there's a lot more chance that you attract the wrong type of women, ie gold diggers.
RecordProducer Posted January 29, 2012 Posted January 29, 2012 If you're gonna put your salary on there, you might as well put your penis size too.That would actually be a valid inquiry, considering we're more likely to use their penises than their money. Not so much the size, but quality of erection, sexual preferences and quirks, and stuff like that would be useful and time-saving. But there's a lot more chance that you attract the wrong type of women, ie gold diggers.But he has to say something about his occupation, even if it's something vague like "I am financially stable and love my job in the banking field." Otherwise, I assume the man is unemployed or makes $30K a year which makes him "ineligible" for dating a successful woman. The more the woman has to offer (looks, brains, education, income, etc.) the more she expects from a man in all those fields. The high income also plays a factor in the prince mentality: a woman wants a prince who will wine and dine her, take care of her, and provide for the family - especially if she wants children. So, you want to present yourself as a financially stable provider without bragging and without attracting the wrong type of women. It's a bit of a catch 22. You can downplay your high income if you're filthy rich, but if you're making $100k, you don't want to sound like a hungry artist, that's for sure. Income is very important to me, and I assure you, I am not a gold digger: I would NEVER date a guy I am not attracted to (or marry someone I am not crazy about) just because he makes good money - even if he's a billionaire. So, don't lose a high quality woman who cares about a man's success just because you want to avoid some skanky trash who would go solely after your wallet.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted January 29, 2012 Posted January 29, 2012 I've been having a debate in my own mind about whether or not I should put down my salary range on my dating profile. On the one hand I make a very good living, I'm proud of how hard I worked and the successes I've achieved and I figure why not use what I can to my advantage? On the other hand I find it a bit unseemly to try and attract women this way and also I'm afraid of attracting the wrong type of woman. But is this too cynical? I guess going back to the title of this posting: Is putting your salary on your OLD account douchey? Pim, as a woman, I always thought the salary question was always douchy and I see no need why anyone would/should have to disclose that information. There is a way to showcase your success and your happiness with your work in your profile without listing the money you make. But I also think that physical statistics being listed isn't also always the best way to go about dating either. Salary, weight, body type, height..to me they are all the same and based on our most self desires. So my thing is if men don't want women to want them for their money, then don't want women for just their looks. That's my afterschool message of the day.
insertnamehere Posted January 29, 2012 Posted January 29, 2012 I make good money and it's something I go out of my way to not stress. The reason being is that it poisons the discussion. I have encountered women who, when they get a hint of what kind of money we're talking, you can see the change in an instant. It's disturbing and frankly a little dehumanizing.
Ross MwcFan Posted January 29, 2012 Posted January 29, 2012 That would actually be a valid inquiry, considering we're more likely to use their penises than their money. Not so much the size, but quality of erection, sexual preferences and quirks, and stuff like that would be useful and time-saving. But he has to say something about his occupation, even if it's something vague like "I am financially stable and love my job in the banking field." Otherwise, I assume the man is unemployed or makes $30K a year which makes him "ineligible" for dating a successful woman. The more the woman has to offer (looks, brains, education, income, etc.) the more she expects from a man in all those fields. The high income also plays a factor in the prince mentality: a woman wants a prince who will wine and dine her, take care of her, and provide for the family - especially if she wants children. So, you want to present yourself as a financially stable provider without bragging and without attracting the wrong type of women. It's a bit of a catch 22. You can downplay your high income if you're filthy rich, but if you're making $100k, you don't want to sound like a hungry artist, that's for sure. Income is very important to me, and I assure you, I am not a gold digger: I would NEVER date a guy I am not attracted to (or marry someone I am not crazy about) just because he makes good money - even if he's a billionaire. So, don't lose a high quality woman who cares about a man's success just because you want to avoid some skanky trash who would go solely after your wallet. That's fine, but I thought he was talking about putting down how much he earns each year on his profile.
tigressA Posted January 29, 2012 Posted January 29, 2012 Don't do it. Say something about your work if you want to, but don't put your salary range up there. I'm not saying this primarily to help you ward off gold-diggers. I just think it's tacky to advertise how much money you make to people who are basically strangers. That discussion should be put on hold until you're exclusively dating someone, IMO. I had no idea how much money my boyfriend makes until 6+ months into our relationship.
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