Lonely-lulu Posted January 27, 2012 Posted January 27, 2012 Hi Everyone, I was just looking for some advice please. I split up with my partner of 5 1/2 years in November. We have been nc since then until last week. A message meant for my friend accidentaly got sent to my ex. He responded and we got into conversation. We texted that evening and things quickly became quite flirty and he asked if I would like to meet. I explained that I wasn't sure if that was a good idea but he convinced me..... We met on the Friday night, went out for dinner and drinks then we ended up back at mine. He stayed all weekend and we had an amazing time. We talked about if we should do it again and there was mixed feelings about that. He ended the relationship because we just seemed to hit a wall, we were living together and he worked evenings, I was away a lot of the time with work and we both seemed to stop making an effort. Living together put loads of strain on the relationship because he would come home late or not at all and I was very suspicious. The time apart has made me realise that living together is no good for us at this point in our lives, we need to really value our time together and slowing things down would benefit both of us. During our weekend together I pushed and pushed for him to say that we would start to date exclusively again and he was very resistant. He said he still loves me but is hesitant to call us a couple as if it doesn't work again we would have to go through all of the hurt and upset and explain to all of our friends and family what was happening. I then did a bit of begging and pleading (embarrassing I know!) but then left it a couple of days. I was away with work and had to come home early so I text him to let him know. He responded but I was out so didn't text back for a couple of hours. When I did he said that he was going to ask me out for dinner but it was a bit late. So he had said he didn't think seeing each other again was a good idea but now he is suggesting it. Do you think this is a positive sign? How do I play it from here? Thanks for any help!
Million.to.1 Posted January 27, 2012 Posted January 27, 2012 I think you should PROCEED WITH EXTREME CAUTION. and ask yourself whether a FWB situation is something you want to have with someone you have alot of emotional history with. To be honest... If you have been with someone for 5 years, I think saying living together was the sole problem it is a bit naive. Sounds like you are giving yourself an excuse to accept a digressing relationship when it should be evolving and getting stronger. Now you are running a risk of living separately, not being in a committed relationship, and dating and being intimate with someone you already really love and could get hurt by all over again. This is a complicated situation, and you really need to take your time and think about what you want to get out of this and accept nothing less.
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