Education Differences

January 27, 2012

Of course metropolitan areas skew the averages higher. It still doesnt change the national average though. I live in the burbs of NYC and less people have degrees up here than down in the city itself.

And I wouldnt advise anyone to spend 100k on school. I happily went to state college and got out with only 24k in debt. Even making 40k a year I could pay that off in a few years with good budgeting. Hell before college I had my own place and fed myself making far less.

Eh. I hate "national averages" because they don't truly tell you anything informative.

But anyway, state colleges can be pretty expensive too. The University of Virginia for instance costs about $80k for a four year degree. Depending on living arrangements, you could easily spend $50k for a degree from many state universities.

January 27, 2012

That's my whole point--if it is a preference and an important one, why is the OP even dating this girl? If having gone to college is so important for him to have in a mate then he should let this girl go, or if he still likes her enough to continue dating her, forget about her lack of education beyond high school and accept her the way she is. It's total and complete douchebaggery to continue dating her and meanwhile, continue to complain that she doesn't meet his preference.

I appreciate the responses, and I did not anticipate four pages just a few hours after going to bed...

To add a few more details, I have only gone on a few dates with her (perhaps using the term dating/seeing means a little bit longer than what I have had). I first went out with her on Saturday...its Friday so I haven't really had an opportunity to talk to her about anything more than just trying to get to know her.

One of the main reasons I am hesitant is because of the income disparity between college and non college grads. In my town, there are not a lot of jobs for college grads, so I am trying to figure out a way to use an advanced degree while living here. Currently I work retail but am trying to get a new job with an aerospace firm in town-kind of an anomaly when it comes to the area.

I was not trying to judge or paint with large strokes. I know tons of "educated" people who are just personality-less or dumb as a fence post. I am aware that a degree does not make a person. I just have only dated girls who were still in college.

This girl has a new car, owns her own condo and seems to be rather modest and live within her means. She's not a flashy girl, but does dress nicely and look attractive. I am not looking down on her I was just wondering what, if any issues may arise from the difference.

I'm still getting to know her and she's kind of quiet, so it is taking a bit to get to know her. I'm not trying to be a douche bag, it was just a question. Thanks.

January 27, 2012

I think it's not something serious to consider if you are in the dating phase. I think it's something more to consider when you are thinking of becoming serious and settling down. When you decide to have a long term relationship, a large disparity in income does affect both of you. I know plenty of people who've gone into trades and have certifications who make a good income. So you don't necessarily have to have a college degree to make a good living. However, I think it's important that when perusing a long lasting, financially fit relationship, there are things you need to consider. Such as unpredictable matters like economy. What if you lost your job and your spouse's income is not enough? Or what if you have arguments over who's paying all the bills? Also, if you're an individual who is motivated by success, a person who doesn't mind living check to check may not be for you. Many are happy with their lifestyles, but that may not be for you. I know where you are coming from. For me, personally, I was raised with the fact that going to college wasn't just an option. So for my father especially, it's important that I'm with someone who's successful and has many goals and dreams like I do. It's the way I was raised and how my views were formed. My brother wasn't always motivated for constant success, but he became motivated, went back to school and graduated from UC (University of California). However, his girlfriend works for barely more than minimum wage as a drugstore clerk. Although she keeps telling him she'll go back to school, it's not happening. She's been saying that since since she's been with him the last 3 years. She's 25 and has expressed to us that she hates school, but would love to have kids within the next 2-3 years. I told my brother to face it, she's not going back to school. If he cannot accept that, he needs to move on. My brother is the type that believes in 50/50 when it comes to finances. Although I think his girlfriend has been doing some harm to his motivation. He no longer seems interested in pursing a financially stable, rewarding career. He said he doesn't mind living check to check as long as he's happy. It's not a bad thing, but he never used to think this way. This goes to show that your partner can and will have an effect on you. If they have opposite views on life, it might be best to be with someone who shares those same goals and dreams.

But it is important to find this info out in or before the dating stage. By knowing ahead of time you will not get your emotions involved but if you wait you will be conflicted because you may end up falling in love.

January 27, 2012

Eh. I hate "national averages" because they don't truly tell you anything informative.

But anyway, state colleges can be pretty expensive too. The University of Virginia for instance costs about $80k for a four year degree. Depending on living arrangements, you could easily spend $50k for a degree from many state universities.

If you're willing to go to a state school, and you have a decent resume/grades/test scores, you can usually still get a full ride, regardless of family income, or close to it. I didn't pay a dime for my Bachelors (got paid to take it in fact!), paid about 1/2 price in-state tuition in a new state (scholarship and reduced to in-state) for my Masters with money I'd saved, and am getting a 1/2 ride with the PhD, plus now work is picking up the other half. My Mom taught me when I was young how to find scholarships, and there really are TONS out there most people don't see. A lot of states even have free 100% tuition to students from their states' HS who met certain standards when in HS. The situation is even better in other countries for students who show the right potential.

You're right, though, that college is not for everyone. I would honestly suggest that anyone who cannot get at least 50% of their tuition paid for undergraduate (assuming their options of schools are open---I understand paying full price if you're going to some kind of specialty school) probably should think twice before going, but I suppose that'd be elitist of me. *shrug*

I appreciate the responses, and I did not anticipate four pages just a few hours after going to bed...

To add a few more details, I have only gone on a few dates with her (perhaps using the term dating/seeing means a little bit longer than what I have had). I first went out with her on Saturday...its Friday so I haven't really had an opportunity to talk to her about anything more than just trying to get to know her.

One of the main reasons I am hesitant is because of the income disparity between college and non college grads. In my town, there are not a lot of jobs for college grads, so I am trying to figure out a way to use an advanced degree while living here. Currently I work retail but am trying to get a new job with an aerospace firm in town-kind of an anomaly when it comes to the area.

I was not trying to judge or paint with large strokes. I know tons of "educated" people who are just personality-less or dumb as a fence post. I am aware that a degree does not make a person. I just have only dated girls who were still in college.

This girl has a new car, owns her own condo and seems to be rather modest and live within her means. She's not a flashy girl, but does dress nicely and look attractive. I am not looking down on her I was just wondering what, if any issues may arise from the difference.

I'm still getting to know her and she's kind of quiet, so it is taking a bit to get to know her. I'm not trying to be a douche bag, it was just a question. Thanks.

Which direction are you worried about the income disparity? It sounds like she has way more money than you right now.

January 27, 2012

I appreciate the responses, and I did not anticipate four pages just a few hours after going to bed...

To add a few more details, I have only gone on a few dates with her (perhaps using the term dating/seeing means a little bit longer than what I have had). I first went out with her on Saturday...its Friday so I haven't really had an opportunity to talk to her about anything more than just trying to get to know her.

One of the main reasons I am hesitant is because of the income disparity between college and non college grads. In my town, there are not a lot of jobs for college grads, so I am trying to figure out a way to use an advanced degree while living here. Currently I work retail but am trying to get a new job with an aerospace firm in town-kind of an anomaly when it comes to the area.

I was not trying to judge or paint with large strokes. I know tons of "educated" people who are just personality-less or dumb as a fence post. I am aware that a degree does not make a person. I just have only dated girls who were still in college.

This girl has a new car, owns her own condo and seems to be rather modest and live within her means. She's not a flashy girl, but does dress nicely and look attractive. I am not looking down on her I was just wondering what, if any issues may arise from the difference.

I'm still getting to know her and she's kind of quiet, so it is taking a bit to get to know her. I'm not trying to be a douche bag, it was just a question. Thanks.

I think it's legitimate of you to raise it as a question. In your position, I would probably just try to get to know her a bit better and take it from there. See if you have sufficient things to talk about, similar goals in life, and so on. Good luck.

January 27, 2012

I use to say that I want a woman with a college degree or AT LEAST some college. But I find that women with no college are just as interesting with their life experiences! So it really don't matter that much to me anymore. I did graduate with a BS in finance and work in high finance. So I regularly come in contact with college educated people (PHD/MS) and frankly many of them are pretty boring!

January 27, 2012

If you're willing to go to a state school, and you have a decent resume/grades/test scores, you can usually still get a full ride, regardless of family income, or close to it. I didn't pay a dime for my Bachelors (got paid to take it in fact!), paid about 1/2 price in-state tuition in a new state (scholarship and reduced to in-state) for my Masters with money I'd saved, and am getting a 1/2 ride with the PhD, plus now work is picking up the other half. My Mom taught me when I was young how to find scholarships, and there really are TONS out there most people don't see. A lot of states even have free 100% tuition to students from their states' HS who met certain standards when in HS. The situation is even better in other countries for students who show the right potential.

You're right, though, that college is not for everyone. I would honestly suggest that anyone who cannot get at least 50% of their tuition paid for undergraduate (assuming their options of schools are open---I understand paying full price if you're going to some kind of specialty school) probably should think twice before going, but I suppose that'd be elitist of me. *shrug*

If you're getting government backed loans Income based repayment now exist basicly letting you get free money. You can buy a car pay your rent with the overage. If you go into certain public job you're payed off in 10 years with out actualy contributing any money. If you make under a certain ammount which can actualy get quite high like up too 60k with out children you'll pay pennies on the dollar you took.

Finaly I actually think going into debt is a good idea if you can get a large enough cash flow going because as long as its dischargeable in bankruptcy (which student loans arn't but debts you used to pay studen loans are if enough time went by).

Also you're living in a fantasy world if you think most people arn't going into great debt getting college degrees. Good for you. I'm glad you feel good about yourself not being in debt... but I'm sorry to tell you this but the student loan bubble will burst and when it does its going to be a lot different then the mortgage bubble. Say good bye to all your savings.

January 27, 2012

I appreciate the responses, and I did not anticipate four pages just a few hours after going to bed...

To add a few more details, I have only gone on a few dates with her (perhaps using the term dating/seeing means a little bit longer than what I have had). I first went out with her on Saturday...its Friday so I haven't really had an opportunity to talk to her about anything more than just trying to get to know her.

One of the main reasons I am hesitant is because of the income disparity between college and non college grads. In my town, there are not a lot of jobs for college grads, so I am trying to figure out a way to use an advanced degree while living here. Currently I work retail but am trying to get a new job with an aerospace firm in town-kind of an anomaly when it comes to the area.

I was not trying to judge or paint with large strokes. I know tons of "educated" people who are just personality-less or dumb as a fence post. I am aware that a degree does not make a person. I just have only dated girls who were still in college.

This girl has a new car, owns her own condo and seems to be rather modest and live within her means. She's not a flashy girl, but does dress nicely and look attractive. I am not looking down on her I was just wondering what, if any issues may arise from the difference.

I'm still getting to know her and she's kind of quiet, so it is taking a bit to get to know her. I'm not trying to be a douche bag, it was just a question. Thanks.

Where are you from? Are you from London or Europe? I notice that in European and Asian culture (I'm Asian) educational level is extremely important. Higher educational level=better place in society/job. Yeah its also true in USA but only 30% of us have a college degree so its not as emphasized here.

January 27, 2012

I have a Master's degree, and I don't care what level of education a man has. Of course, he has to be reasonably intelligent and able to converse, but that can easily come from someone who only completed high school (assuming high school did for him what it was supposed to do). That being said, most of the time, I find what I want, intellectually and conversationally, in a guy with at least a Bachelor's degree or "some college." There's a bunch of "some college" guys out there who are just fine by me.

This has been my history with men (some relationships, some just dated very briefly), from most recent to least recent: (I'll list them by initials).

S.K.: Master's degree

M.M.: Bachelor's degree

J.A.: High School only

H.S.: working on Bachelor's degree

J.M.: two Bachelor's degrees

Ehhh...don't feel like doing this. But if I went on, there's a handful that had only high school. I'll say, though, that in recent years, the ones I've wanted the most had a college education.

January 27, 2012

If you're getting government backed loans Income based repayment now exist basicly letting you get free money. You can buy a car pay your rent with the overage. If you go into certain public job you're payed off in 10 years with out actualy contributing any money. If you make under a certain ammount which can actualy get quite high like up too 60k with out children you'll pay pennies on the dollar you took.

Finaly I actually think going into debt is a good idea if you can get a large enough cash flow going because as long as its dischargeable in bankruptcy (which student loans arn't but debts you used to pay studen loans are if enough time went by).

Also you're living in a fantasy world if you think most people arn't going into great debt getting college degrees. Good for you. I'm glad you feel good about yourself not being in debt... but I'm sorry to tell you this but the student loan bubble will burst and when it does its going to be a lot different then the mortgage bubble. Say good bye to all your savings.

Not goodbye to all MY savings. My job is pretty secure, as is my husbands, and I live 100% debt-free. I'm good.

I agree that people are going in debt for school, and I think that's a big part of the problem. I worked all through school, in addition to my scholarships, when other people took out loans. At any rate, the Fed loans are iffy, but not the worst. You're right that in some public jobs you can get off in 10 years (teaching or government service) and generally make under the cap where you don't pay it all back. I still don't think it's a sound financial decision unless you know what you're going to do when you get out and have a solid plan, which most folks do.

January 27, 2012

Of course it'd be nice to meet someone who thinks education is important (and maybe knows how to spell. That would be nice), but it isn't the end all be all to my relationship. I'd much rather my mate be a kind, considerate and respectful person.

I totally agree. I want a man to have a charming personality, be reasonably articulate/intelligent, and be fun to talk to and joke around with. He doesn't need to be some big intellect.

The guy I dated most recently was/is working on his second Master's degree. We talked about the presidential campaign sometimes, and he also shared a lot of what he was learning in his philosophy classes. We went to some plays and talked about Macbeth and how well done the production was. But most of the time we were just talking about what to cook for dinner, how our respective days were, and what movies to watch on Netflix.

Or we were having sex!

At any rate, I'm kind of a strange bird who really likes educated guys but likes "uneducated" ones also.

As recently as last year around this time, I was lunching with a female friend and wrinkling my nose at the concept of educated guys. I wanted a man's man blue collar type.

Edited January 27, 2012 by Jane2011

January 27, 2012

Richard Branson is the British equivalent of a high school dropout.

January 27, 2012

Considering some of the richest, most intelligent people in the world are college drop outs, I don't equate 'being educated' with earning a degree. Truly educated people are self motivated.

January 27, 2012

Yea. You probably in construction or contracting. I used to work with contractors as an engineer and scientist and they'd always come up to me and ask "How much do you make?"

Just so they could tell me they made more without any degree whatsoever.

But if you were a woman, you'd be screwed.

You also sound like you're from a different generation. These days, EVERYBODY has at least a bachelors degree.

pretty close, commercial development, we own a couple of big retail stores at the moment.

i'm sort of in between. i'm 35, but i grew up around the business, my dad was the first generation, so i had an inside track with the contacts and what not, admittedly.

either way there are things to do that don't require a degree, you just need a degree to work for someone else, that's all.

January 27, 2012

Almost everyone goes to college these days... I feel like for some people who know what they want to do, there are better uses of those 4 years of their lives. Personally I did not learn much in college, tho my degree has opened some doors (a bachelor's is non-negotiable for my career) . Moreover, I can't recall having a conversation with my SO that would have required a degree... some level of intelligence, maybe, but having gone to college? Maybe a convo about passing out on a lawn in the middle of the night in a drunken stupor, but not anything intellectual.

So, a degree is not any kind of requirement of mine. Knowing what one wants to do with one's life, and intelligence, on the other hand, are attractive... but I have met many people with advanced degrees lacking that.

My brother spent what would have been his college years living at home working on developing some software... he is hoping that will pay off more than any degree he could have earned in that time.

January 27, 2012

Also, 'converse' is a sneaker. Not a word to describe having a conversation with someone.

Jesus. Will ya look at big geniuses in this thread!

January 27, 2012

Also, 'converse' is a sneaker. Not a word to describe having a conversation with someone.

Jesus. Will ya look at big geniuses in this thread!

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/converse

It's a word.

January 27, 2012

I agree with Philosoraptor (I love your screen name by the way)

It doesn't matter to me how far they made it in school. I've met total dipwads with very high degrees. I want someone who can keep up with me intellectually. I know people with degrees, and some who never finished high school that I very much enjoy speaking with.

And I totally agree with FitChick as well in the part below.

Fitchick
Education and intelligence are two different things. What matters more is a general curiosity about the world and learning new things

.

And I got a good laugh out of Janesays' comment:

Janesays
Jesus. Will ya look at big geniuses in this thread!

Dated men of all different educational backgrounds. You can be an idiot no matter your degree. Dated Ivy league guys that weren't all that special. Dated men that barely graduated high school that were much more exciting. People come in all kind of different and exciting combinations.

Sometimes you can have two smart people that won't have a good conversation.

A few years ago I dated a man I really liked. He was much smarter educationally then I was. He clearly had an issue with it. It didn't last. He missed out though because he could have learned a few things from me. I don't look back on that relationship with regret for me so much as regret for him. I kind of felt sorry for him because there was so much he couldn't see despite all his education and his book smarts.

January 27, 2012

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/converse

It's a word.

In an internet dictionary, every slang term is a word. Including 'google,' 'conversate,' and 'dooce.'

If enough people use a word incorrectly, the net manages to make a few edits to justify it to the ignorant masses.

However, if you pick up a REAL dictionary or, better yet, a grammar book, you'll see that it's proper to say, 'have a conversation with.' You use the word 'converse' to describe something that is opposite of something else. Such as 'X was in converse to Y.'

January 27, 2012

In an internet dictionary, every slang term is a word. Including 'google,' 'conversate,' and 'dooce.'

If enough people use a word incorrectly, the net manages to make a few edits to justify it to the ignorant masses.

However, if you pick up a REAL dictionary or, better yet, a grammar book, you'll see that it's proper to say, 'have a conversation with.' You use the word 'converse' to describe something that is opposite of something else. Such as 'X was in converse to Y.'

Perhaps you didn't notice it was Mirriam-Websters site. Of course you didn't, you didn't click the link to see the etymology of it either. It's a word.

January 27, 2012

In an internet dictionary, every slang term is a word. Including 'google,' 'conversate,' and 'dooce.'

If enough people use a word incorrectly, the net manages to make a few edits to justify it to the ignorant masses.

However, if you pick up a REAL dictionary or, better yet, a grammar book, you'll see that it's proper to say, 'have a conversation with.' You use the word 'converse' to describe something that is opposite of something else. Such as 'X was in converse to Y.'

Naw, it's in every Merriam-Webster dictionary, including the real one. Won't find the definition in the Oxford, I don't believe, but I think it's considered a real word in American English, but not British or British-derived English. Seems like a strange battle to pick; are you a Brit, Jane?

FWIW, my credentials: English degree, English/Elementary/Reading teaching certification, Masters in Linguistics and TESOL, and working on a PhD that includes a linguistics component. And I'm a big word nerd.

January 27, 2012

Naw, it's in every Merriam-Webster dictionary, including the real one. Won't find the definition in the Oxford, I don't believe, but I think it's considered a real word in American English, but not British or British-derived English. Seems like a strange battle to pick; are you a Brit, Jane?

Nah. But I do prefer British English to the watered down Americanized nonsense, so you've got me there.

January 27, 2012

Also, 'converse' is a sneaker. Not a word to describe having a conversation with someone.

Jesus. Will ya look at big geniuses in this thread!

Fail. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars.....however please do go to college and up your vocabulary =P...or at least use google before critiquing someone elses vocabulary.

January 27, 2012

Fail. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars.....however please do go to college and up your vocabulary =P...or at least use google before critiquing someone elses vocabulary.

Please, little boy. I use an actual grammar book. Being that I'm above the age of 12, I don't find everything on the Internet to be true and I despise 'lazy English.' Argue all you want, but it is what it is. Further, I likely gave more to charity than you made last year. True story.

January 27, 2012

Please, little boy. I use an actual grammar book. Being that I'm above the age of 12, I don't find everything on the Internet to be true and I despise 'lazy English.' Argue all you want, but it is what it is. Further, I likely gave more to charity than you made last year. True story.

Buying your food doesn't count as charity.

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