Shaun-Dro Posted January 27, 2012 Posted January 27, 2012 Honestly, I'm at a place where I need to. I never thought I'd get to this point but here I am: leaving the house each day, trying to think positive, trying to interact with people more positively; just trying to view things in a better light than before. It's all about results, not reactions. I think I've held myself down for too long. And it's been all of my doing and I'm finally tired of it. My older buddy even tells me that the negative type energy I bring is what I'll always get back; whether I realize it or not. So tell me people...how much are you willing to change and do you think it is in your best interest to do so, for better or worse?
Dust Posted January 27, 2012 Posted January 27, 2012 women are very easy to get... but I've been completely insane for the past few years. I'd like to give myself a little more direction. but maybe I'm proud of being insane haha!
Anela Posted January 27, 2012 Posted January 27, 2012 I think I'm ready to try again. Late last year, I just gave up for a while. This, for me, has nothing to do with dating, though - maybe it will in the future, but I need to make some changes for myself. Dealing with men, in the state I was in, wasn't good for me, although a few were sweet.
ditzchic Posted January 27, 2012 Posted January 27, 2012 I need to learn how to budget better. I'm never short on invites for things to do. I'm always short on money to do them. I live on my own and have a decent jobs but everything is getting more expensive and my income isn't increasing. I've been avoiding dealing with that. I've been living in a fantasy land that things will get better on their own for too long without putting any work into it. I need to do the work. I have a few things coming up the pike that will help me earn extra money and I'm looking into ways to also tell myself no and cut back on expenses. I also need to learn how to open up to people. After a few bad experiences in my teen and college years, I've gotten into the habit of claming up emotionally whenever someone tries to get in. Not just with men but also female friends. They know I'm a fun time to be around but they really know nothing of my deepest dreams and desires. No one ever gets to hear how I feel. I don't talk about that stuff. I'm afraid of being vulnerable. I'm afraid of being hurt. I'm afraid of being weak. But that fear is my biggest weakness in itself. I know that's stupid and I need to learn to stop believing that everyone has the power to hurt me. They don't. I'm the only one that can hurt me and I'm hurting myself more by never letting anyone in than by taking a risk that doesn't work out. The only way I can get over this fear is by practice. Which I am doing now
Anela Posted January 27, 2012 Posted January 27, 2012 ditzchic: me, too. I've been opening up more, and have been hurt, but the good people make it all worth it.
Oxy Moronovich Posted January 27, 2012 Posted January 27, 2012 Yeah, I'm willing to change. I'm willing to be more patient in my relationships. I don't believe in wasting time, even if it means she'll like me more.
2sunny Posted January 27, 2012 Posted January 27, 2012 Yes... Change is good! It brings new hope! Currently I'm changing where I live and changing jobs...makes me happy for new experiences and better things to come! Open to a new man this year too! ;-) it will happen!
Feelin Frisky Posted January 27, 2012 Posted January 27, 2012 I HAVE changed very much as an adult and am proud of my understanding and general control of my own feelings. There is still a lot about myself I want to change and wish I could do it one and for all. But I have flaws--imperfections--that have not been answered by science or medicine yet and there are recurring periods in my life where these flaws tend to win over me and keep me from making the breakthrough that will allow me to feel like I've delivered on my potential. Biggest is my lack of an "off-switch" when it comes to recreational/pleasure eating. It creeps up, takes over, and becomes the norm at my great expense. It then takes weeks or months of austere observance of discipline to cease these impulses from causing me to act out in the same way every day (which is always at night and just before bed when you of course gain the most weight because that just sits in your body and turns to useless flab). It's a baffling compulsion that dogs millions of otherwise bright and love-worthy persons. I wish I could permanently lose that impulsive/compulsive drive because it's a life-long war where I lose way more often than I win.
veggirl Posted January 27, 2012 Posted January 27, 2012 For the most part I'm good with what I currently am. I'm def in the healthiest relationship I've ever been in (in 28 yrs!) and tbh, I credit part of that to my years of lurking on LS! I am very happy with that part of my life. The only big thing I can think of that I'd want to change about myself is unrelated to romance, I'd just like to be more assertive at work, I am like a little girl there.
Author Shaun-Dro Posted January 27, 2012 Author Posted January 27, 2012 I need to learn how to budget better. I'm never short on invites for things to do. I'm always short on money to do them. I live on my own and have a decent jobs but everything is getting more expensive and my income isn't increasing. I've been avoiding dealing with that. I've been living in a fantasy land that things will get better on their own for too long without putting any work into it. I need to do the work. I have a few things coming up the pike that will help me earn extra money and I'm looking into ways to also tell myself no and cut back on expenses. I also need to learn how to open up to people. After a few bad experiences in my teen and college years, I've gotten into the habit of claming up emotionally whenever someone tries to get in. Not just with men but also female friends. They know I'm a fun time to be around but they really know nothing of my deepest dreams and desires. No one ever gets to hear how I feel. I don't talk about that stuff. I'm afraid of being vulnerable. I'm afraid of being hurt. I'm afraid of being weak. But that fear is my biggest weakness in itself. I know that's stupid and I need to learn to stop believing that everyone has the power to hurt me. They don't. I'm the only one that can hurt me and I'm hurting myself more by never letting anyone in than by taking a risk that doesn't work out. The only way I can get over this fear is by practice. Which I am doing now I can definitely relate to some of the things you've said. I've always been known to walk around with a scowl and an edge to my attitude because I felt since I'm a man it should be automatic. I was wrong. Now, I've really taken a step back to look at myself and I didn't like what I saw in the mirror. I didn't like how I felt or how I handled things. I hated that I allowed people who I barely knew to upset me; to throw my life into a disarray. I gave them power they should'nt have had. I let various women, who I knew nothing about, get under my skin just for ignoring me or copping an attitude. Why let them dictate how my day will go? Why let them control the outcome of the next person I meet? All of these things, and many others, is why I decided to seriously work at making positive change. Besides, I have a good career lined up in a couple weeks so that's every reason to start fresh.
El Brujo Posted January 27, 2012 Posted January 27, 2012 It depends. I can change easily if I'm comfortable with a given change. But as far as changing to become something I'm not... it ain't gonna happen, bud.
USMCHokie Posted January 27, 2012 Posted January 27, 2012 When it comes to dating and relationships, yes, I want to change...really badly... (1) I seriously need to get over the race thing...I can keep telling myself I'm over it, but I'm smart enough to know that I'm not there yet... (2) I need to give women more credit than I give them...I assume they are all shallow and wouldn't be interested in me...so I don't approach women... (3) And probably most importantly, I just need to stop worrying about all this stupid sh*t.
Ross MwcFan Posted January 27, 2012 Posted January 27, 2012 I 100% want to change. And I'm trying to, but it's very hard, and I don't know if I'll ever get there.
Cracker Jack Posted January 27, 2012 Posted January 27, 2012 I really want to change as well. I've been slowly but surely expanding my mindset on many things in terms of understanding women, dating and relationships. I was so close-minded at one point, and I know that can never be good. I still have a ton of room for improvement, and still experience those days where I start thinking like an idiot, but I know things will only get better if I can actually change my outlook on many things.
louise_23 Posted January 27, 2012 Posted January 27, 2012 Honestly, I'm at a place where I need to. I never thought I'd get to this point but here I am: leaving the house each day, trying to think positive, trying to interact with people more positively; just trying to view things in a better light than before. It's all about results, not reactions. I think I've held myself down for too long. And it's been all of my doing and I'm finally tired of it. My older buddy even tells me that the negative type energy I bring is what I'll always get back; whether I realize it or not. So tell me people...how much are you willing to change and do you think it is in your best interest to do so, for better or worse? how old are you? im 24 and ive been having a little quarter life crisis for the last few years. i cant change my attitude but i can seek a path in life that will make me happy and hopefully as things become more to my liking my attitude will improve. for example, ive left a very long relationship, house and job, gone back to college, got braces on my teeth, started driving. i now refuse to work in jobs i detest, even to make ends meet. lifes too short and im not spending mine doing things that make me miserable. i think ultimately if you truly arent happy, you WILL at some point or another hit a wall and realise you HAVE to start making changes. everyone has their breaking point, youll know when you hit yours. sure its hard at times and sometimes i think "was this all worth it? should i have given so much up?" but if you dont try you wont know.
FitChick Posted January 27, 2012 Posted January 27, 2012 I've always been big on personal transformation, whether it's physical, mental, emotional or spiritual. That's why I'm constantly telling people to try the Lefkoe Method! I prefer men equally open minded.
azsinglegal Posted January 27, 2012 Posted January 27, 2012 (edited) I also need to learn how to open up to people. After a few bad experiences in my teen and college years, I've gotten into the habit of claming up emotionally whenever someone tries to get in. Not just with men but also female friends. They know I'm a fun time to be around but they really know nothing of my deepest dreams and desires. No one ever gets to hear how I feel. I don't talk about that stuff. I'm afraid of being vulnerable. I'm afraid of being hurt. I'm afraid of being weak. But that fear is my biggest weakness in itself. I know that's stupid and I need to learn to stop believing that everyone has the power to hurt me. They don't. I'm the only one that can hurt me and I'm hurting myself more by never letting anyone in than by taking a risk that doesn't work out. The only way I can get over this fear is by practice. Which I am doing now You and I are a lot alike, my dear. I didn't realize how closed of I was until this past week when it was brought to my attention. I've been blaming men for me being alone, when really, I haven't fully committed or made the effort to show them they're the one I want on any level. I'm emotionally retarded. I thought I was letting people in but I really wasn't. I haven't really let ANYONE in for years. I'd like to change, but I honestly don't know how. When I think I'm being open, I'm really not. Or I'm being open about the wrong things. I never tell anyone how I feel. EVER. Not female friends, not boyfriends, not anyone. I keep everything inside. So if someone hurts me, they never know. Or if I get hurt, they never know. Or what I need to be happy, I don't say anything. I cried at work one time and everyone was so relieved to know I was actually human. That's how bad I hide. I get upset that I'm still single and no one will pick ME. I keep saying over and over, what's wrong with me? You know what's wrong with me? ME. I'm my own worst enemy. I am truly my own crown of thorns. To the OP, I would really like to change. I'd do just about anything to figure out how. I'm pushing 40 and really would rather NOT spend my next 20 yrs alone with dogs. Edited January 27, 2012 by azsinglegal
Ross MwcFan Posted January 27, 2012 Posted January 27, 2012 I've always been big on personal transformation, whether it's physical, mental, emotional or spiritual. That's why I'm constantly telling people to try the Lefkoe Method! I prefer men equally open minded. Lol, you and your Lefkoe method.
denise_xo Posted January 27, 2012 Posted January 27, 2012 Right now I'm trying to work on being more disciplined. I'm working a lot independently now and need to keep up an intense and demanding work flow without having a boss or colleagues to drag me along, but I tend to get distracted and bum around on LS instead or read news or whatever, especially when work is difficult and I'm not sure how to move forward. I'm usually always working on something related to self improvement. I've been to places in my life where I've hit rock bottom and the change was more or less forced that way. Now, luckily, my 'change work' is a bit less dramatic. Nice thread, by the way.
RecordProducer Posted January 28, 2012 Posted January 28, 2012 I am very much willing to change but not to fit into somebody's dream of a meek, obedient wife. I want to change for me, for the good of whoever wants to love me. I want to change in a way that will enable me to become completely myself - who I am deep inside. I need to become myself so I can be happier and implement my mission on earth. Only then I will become a stable, confident, content person who will have a lot ot give - and ultimately, a lot to receive. If that makes...
somedude81 Posted January 28, 2012 Posted January 28, 2012 I want to figure out my strengths and maximize them. While focusing less on the negatives. I know I have a long way to go but I know that it's possible to get there.
FitChick Posted January 28, 2012 Posted January 28, 2012 Lol, you and your Lefkoe method. Because after spending thousands of dollars and many years on various types of self-improvement courses and therapy, conventional and alternative, I finally found the thing that worked and changed my life for the better. At first I was upset that I had ruined my life up until that point but, since the Method hadn't been invented, I shouldn't beat myself up. But if I had discovered it early on, I could have avoided a lot of pain and my life would have been so much better than it was. That is my only regret - lack of time. Second best in terms of immediately coping with fear, anger, anxiety is the Sedona Method 3 question Release Technique. They might not teach it any more, which is a shame.
RecordProducer Posted January 28, 2012 Posted January 28, 2012 Because after spending thousands of dollars and many years on various types of self-improvement courses and therapy, conventional and alternative, I finally found the thing that worked and changed my life for the better. What beliefs did you get rid off and for what purpose? Did you work directly with Lefkoe's team or did you read some book about it?
Author Shaun-Dro Posted January 28, 2012 Author Posted January 28, 2012 how old are you? im 24 and ive been having a little quarter life crisis for the last few years. i cant change my attitude but i can seek a path in life that will make me happy and hopefully as things become more to my liking my attitude will improve. for example, ive left a very long relationship, house and job, gone back to college, got braces on my teeth, started driving. i now refuse to work in jobs i detest, even to make ends meet. lifes too short and im not spending mine doing things that make me miserable. i think ultimately if you truly arent happy, you WILL at some point or another hit a wall and realise you HAVE to start making changes. everyone has their breaking point, youll know when you hit yours. sure its hard at times and sometimes i think "was this all worth it? should i have given so much up?" but if you dont try you wont know. I'm 33 and counting, unfortunately, but I get what you're saying. I'd been truly unhappy with myself and how I conducted my life for a long time now and finally got fed up! I was harboring a lot of anger toward various family members, women, and life in general. This was eating at me and it really started to manifest itself in everything I did. People wanted to get away from me. That was the beginning of my wakeup call. I've also come to realize that life is just too short to wallow in self-pity or bitterness. You can't get anything useful from those sentiments. They just fester and fester until the day you bite the dust. Now, I just try to find a degree of pleasure in anything that I do, whether just a walk in the park. Don't get me wrong in assuming that I walk into stores and smile at every one in there. That's totally against my nature and will look false. I'm just a lot more even-tempered and neutral to people I meet, giving most of them the benefit of the doubt until proving otherwise. This has been working for me really well as of late and I want to keep at it. I've even noticed women wanting to come around me more and I haven't even uttered a word. Change is very difficult but I stronly recommend it for a peace of mind and better success, but it has to come from the inside out. You can't fake it. I once tried that years ago and it backfired. You have to truly "feel" it from within and you'll know it when you do.
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