bkboy Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 ...after a year of NC, and it was surprisingly not awkward. She saw me in a cafe, walked directly up to me and gave me a big hug. We talked for about 10-15 minutes, and she asked if she would see me in the future with mutual friends. She also insisted 3-4 times that she would see me in the neighborhood - as she moved to my stomping grounds. Part of me interpreted this as opening a window to some sort of reconnection. Somewhere in the discussion I mentioned a movie I thought she'd like to see, and told her I'd email her info about it. I did, and said 'tell me what you think about it.' She responded she wouldn't be able to watch it for a while, but would at some point, and thanked me. Part of me interpreted this as sort of putting the breaks on opening a new line of communication. To be fully honest, there are still some feelings for her. My plan is to sit back, and see if she reaches out. Am I stupid for reading into her approaching me, and asking if we'll see each other? Has anyone said this to an ex? Does it actually mean anything more than formality?
Exit Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 You're not "stupid" for reading into it, anyone in your situation who still has some sort of feelings for a person and ends up bumping into them is going to be analyzing it exactly like you're doing. Am I saying it's a healthy and useful thing to be doing? No. But that doesn't mean you're stupid. It means you're normal. It very well could have been nothing than a formality and a friendly hello from her. But then again when you consider that she approached you and not the other way around, it's hard to tell. It would be one thing if you approached her and she started dishing out the formalities just to get out of an awkward situation, but she's the one who initiated. You already know what is best though. Sit back and see if anything comes from her. You see what happens when you make the first move, she sends vague responses to you and seems like she's a little "colder" than when she saw you in person. So don't make an over-eager fool out of yourself, see if you hear from her first.
Author bkboy Posted January 26, 2012 Author Posted January 26, 2012 Thanks a lot, I really appreciate your response. I guess it is normal to try to "squeeze juice out of a stone" and overanalyze every single word and gesture. And you're 100% right - the only thing to do is to wait and see. I guess I had a year's worth of missing her bottled up, and was hoping the run-in would open an opportunity to act on those feelings. But restraint is usually the best policy in these types of things. I hope it doesn't last another year. Thanks again.
immitable Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 i remember when I saw my ex after about a year, I was a dumper at that time, I moved to a different country but we stayed in sort of a low contact at that time. I was happy to see her and hoped she doesn't hate me. I was in another relationship at that time. She was friendly and we had a nice chat off topic which made us stay friends from that point on. Now, I am the dumpee and if my ex aproached me, or anything like that, I wouldn't even talk to her without a serious apology. I just don't think she deserves to friendzone me like that. She caused a lot of damage and I am sure she is aware of that. The first relationship where I was the dumper was 1.5 years and the second where I got dumped was 5 years long.
Author bkboy Posted January 26, 2012 Author Posted January 26, 2012 It's sort of confusing as to who was the dumper/dumpee in our situation. We went back-and-forth, I suppose I formally ended it. I tried to stay friends but she flat-out refused. Maybe she is in a relationship - there was no way of telling from our encounter. I guess it doesn't matter all that much as things currently stand.
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