Hung out with the EX for the first time today

[JJJJKKKKJJJJ]

So my ex and I (we dated for over a year and broke up last summer) hung out today for the first time since we broke up. We both have had relatively short relationships since our break up, or rebounds as they are called...and have decided to reinitiate contact. Through-out my last relationship since him, he would text me things like "I miss you everyday...." and "Just thinking about you today." or "Can we please break-up with our significant others and get back together. I should have never let you go. I miss and love you."

 

Needless to say, he came to my house and we hit it off right from the start. He talked to my sister for a bit and joked around with her (it was very much like old times). We soon left to go shopping before we went to see a movie.

 

We made a pitstop at Subway and had a very short lunch. There was absolutely flirting going on, and we did actually share from the same straw without knowing until we both pointed it out.

 

We saw the movie (it was just us in th theatre) and at one point he did touch my leg, it was brief. We came back to my house and actually hung out with my sister while she studied. We came back to my bedroom where we just laid in bed and talked. Yes, I brought up our relationship and he said he asbolutely is interested in seeing where this will lead, but he wants to take it slow. We did cuddle, and I'm not going to lie...it felt great. Yes, it was initiated by me, but there was absolutely no fighthing it off on his end.

 

We stated that we both want to stay single for a while and date other people, until we are both ready to commit again (if that comes up.) He said that he didn't want out hang outs to become full of emotion, but light and airy so that it remains fun and interesting. I couldn't agree more.

 

He didn't spend the night, yet he said he did not want to rush things because he views me very differently from other people. He said he couldn't spend the night without emotions involved, and I couldn't agree more.

 

We kissed goodnight, on the lips (yes, I know bad idea...but I was following instincts) and he actually made plans with me for next weekend when he gets his bonus check (he wants to take me out).

 

He sent me a text on his drive home which stated "I had a really good time...thank you." and "I left my hat in your car...I'll see you again soon. lol."

 

I don't want to push any harder, but I had a really good time with him. Yes we are casually dating other people...and I still get jealous...I do want him back, but I'm not desperate. Advice? What do you guys think?

Edited January 26, 2012 by Osiris866

[Dark Phoenix]

How do you feel, you posted his feelings and expectations but none of your own. I get the vibe that you aren't ready, you were just going with the flow of things.

 

This is your decision. You have to make it and choose one way or another. I knew on your last post that if you posted this it would be something like this.

 

You have to come to the point of individualization and make this decision on your own. This will happen in time, I have the feeling its real close to your "lightbulb" moment.

I strongly advise against other people from saying yes or no for validation reasons.

Edited January 26, 2012 by Dark Phoenix

[Philosoraptor]

His messages to you while you were in another relationship were made out of jealously. Either he was worried that you found someone better than him, or his new thing wasn't going great and it made him miss the comfort that he had with you.

 

Have each of you worked on the issues from the past relationship that led to its downfall? If not, here are some questions to ask yourself internally and make mention to someone before jumping into a relationship with them.

 

What changes have you made internally that will allow the relationship to prosper?

What brought about these changes?

When did these changes begin?

How do you think we can best deal with the issues that caused our breakup(s) in the past?

 

This is your heart people... don't just hand it back to someone whom is likely to hurt you again.

 

If they can't explain what changes they have made and give a "I know it can work out" line... they haven't matured. If they can't explain the internal converastion they had about the changes they likely haven't matured. If this happened a short time ago they may have rushed things and still are not ready. If they have not analyzed their past issues (you of course need to do the same as it is a two way street) then they have not matured enough to begin again.