Woggle Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 According to this article you do. I am starting to come to the conclusion that many women just have a perpetual grass is greener syndrome. When this is the way many women feel can you blame a man for being paranoid about relationships? Why would a man want to be with a woman that hates him? http://www.huffingtonpost.com/iris-krasnow/help-i-hate-my-husband_b_1229627.html?ref=weddings
analystfromhell Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 (edited) While the letter and the article seemed directed towards women is it really that different for men? Both sexes and gay couples I'm sure wonder the "what if" and it's so easy to imagine yourself in a better place or convince yourself that where you are isn't where you want to be or worse, the best place you could be (when you are still unhappy). Moreover the "love" described in the response seemed more resignation than yearning, respect or appreciation. Who among us couldn't do a better job of showing those feelings to our SO (whether we love them or not) and who doesn't feel their SO could do the same? Just as none of us are perfect neither are our relationships. I've stopped watching "romantic" television and movies because the situations they portray seemed designed to impose artificial expectations on our real life relationships and result in our dissatisfaction. I'd rather spend the time working on real-life relationships without regard to how they turn out. Ultimately I don't think most of us have a lot of control over how things turn out as the financial and other strains which impact our relationships are often driven by so many things outside either of our control (affairs, abuse and mental illness are something else entirely). Probably some women do hate their husbands and wives. Probably some men hate their wives and husbands. Generalizing just isn't useful. Edited January 25, 2012 by analystfromhell
dreamingoftigers Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 I can't say that I hate him. I just wish he would realize that their other other people on the planet besides him and that I am not his mother. I am also sick of being reacted to like I am her. It grosses me out. Personally I think a lot of cheating men have serious mother issues so they marry someone, make her their mother and then 'rebel' against her by having a girlfriend as a pathetic way to passive-aggressively assert himself. I only want one child right now, it isn't the 33 year old one.
betterdeal Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 Yes, Woggle, I hate my husband. I don't have a husband, but I will go through with a civil partnership with another man and hate him, and then you can even add The Gays to your list of haters who you hate. Happy?
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 Do you even understand the point of this article, or are you just so blinded when you see what you are looking for (evidence of the hatefulness of women) that you don't even read? Let me help you with some excerpts: Yet we stay married because the love out-muscles the hate in our relationships. On those days we are socked under a gray malaise, we are suddenly lifted into the light as we walk by an old photo of the family, arms looped, heads pressed together, as if we are one big animal. And so it goes; happy some moments, miserable some moments, yet grounded in this flux of emotions by a fundamental commitment to each other, to the children, to forge onward. marriage is ever-changing. Their own survival stories prove that periodic explosions can open up the channels to richer and stronger relationships. Could my life be better with someone new? Perhaps, until the new becomes old, which it inevitably does. Does my head get turned by chiseled men in well-cut suits? Yes. Then I remember that I don't want to necessarily see what's under those threads. Acting on lust often turns out not to be true love but to be true disappointment. It takes grit and prolonged intimacy to love deeply and hate deeply and thus is the rhythm of family relationships. Ever tell a sibling or a parent, 'I hate you'? Then, an hour later, you are hugging and wetting each other's faces with tears. "It takes a lot of love to hate." If you can't accept that relationships that last for many years will include LOTS of negative emotions, you are not going to be able to have one of any depth. And please stop vilifying women who talk openly about the parts of marriage that are not all unicorns and rainbows. This is an article TALKING about a very real part of probably the majority of SUCCESSFUL longterm relationships. It is NOT about women who have "GIGS" and dump their husband because of it, so why are you presenting it that way?
Afishwithabike Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 Yes...of course all women hate their husbands. Happy now? Did you stop your therapy? Why do you even look for these articles? It seems like you want to feel bad. End the cycle. Stop looking for things to validate your misguided ideas about women. 1
D-Lish Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 I don't hate my Husband- YET. But if I get married again, I plan to. I didn't hate my ExH even after he knocked up another woman and we fell apart, and don't hate him or wish him misfortune now... But this next guy that hasn't come along yet- I'm planning on spending the rest of my life being miserable and blaming him for it.
CarrieT Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 I am falling in love with a wonderful man and sincerely hope he pops the question so that we can get married and I can really hate him. 1
dreamingoftigers Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 I plan to hate the next husband. Especially if he is a really nice guy, then I can project all of my Daddy issues on him plus the anger that I have for my current husband. 1
whichwayisup Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 According to this article you do. I am starting to come to the conclusion that many women just have a perpetual grass is greener syndrome. When this is the way many women feel can you blame a man for being paranoid about relationships? Why would a man want to be with a woman that hates him? http://www.huffingtonpost.com/iris-krasnow/help-i-hate-my-husband_b_1229627.html?ref=weddings How is this healthy and helping you? Why are you continually reading these type of links that create more anxiety and drama, worries and concerns, stuff that make you feel bad?? Anyway, no I don't hate my husband..Why would I? Yes, at times he pisses me off, gets on my nerves and I'm sure there are times I piss him off and get on his nerves. Woggle, you need to stop reading those types of links. NO GOOD can come of it. None! 1
whichwayisup Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 I plan to hate the next husband. Especially if he is a really nice guy, then I can project all of my Daddy issues on him plus the anger that I have for my current husband. I bet you'd wait till he fell asleep and then strap one on .. And 'do' him. (just lightening up this thread, it's a joke..)
TaraMaiden Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 It's absolutely, irrevocably, undeniably, definitely true: Woggle - Is - Insane. "Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, and expecting a different result." Woggle, I think you also have a hefty streak of masochism. You really need to mention this to your therapist, if you are still seeing one.... "I keep purposely seeking these damning reports, written either by crazy, mussed-up women, or articles which I pick one phrase out of (usually containing words like wives, hate, husbands) and broadcasting my finds on a relationships forum, where I KNOW for a fact, the majority of people - men AND women - will absolutely flay me and criticise me for posting the same old, same-old crap all over again. I really enjoy the verbal beating and pummelling i get, it gives me a buzz to repeatedly get hit over the head with my own, blinkered, prejudiced and utterly irrational convictions. I know I'm wrong, but I just love getting a rise out of people and have them all fly at me with their wholly justified contradictions of my behaviour, because getting beat up over the head by angry women is what i have always been used to. My wife is sweet, understanding, kind, considerate and loving. She's utterly perfect, wonderful and delightful. She also has absolutely no idea I say any of this stuff, because if she did, she would think I had lost my marbles or was living on a different planet to anyone else. Which seems to be true in both cases." Copy and paste above, and give to therapist on next visit. Or completely ignore, and just find something else to post.... "Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, and expecting a different result." Lather, rinse repeat.... 1
johan Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 Sometimes it's better to let Nature take its course. 1
RecordProducer Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 According to this article you do. Are you talking to your wife? Who's "you"?
Dust Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 I plan to hate the next husband. Especially if he is a really nice guy, then I can project all of my Daddy issues on him plus the anger that I have for my current husband. My type of girl that sounds fun. Just be sure to call me daddy!
Eve Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 Yeah I hate my Hubby because of my ex.. even though he is nothing like him. Take care, Eve x
betterdeal Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 So, finally, I got around to doing some research and it turns out the Earth is actually flat: http://theflatearthsociety.org/cms/ See? It says so on the internet. And men are paedophiles: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_American_Man/Boy_Love_Association It says so on the internet.
Phateless Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 Interesting take but true resent can't be a sign of a happy connection, can it?
Citizen Erased Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 I love him more and more every single time you post a thread like this Woggle, cos I am damn lucky that he's nothing like you. I would despise him if he held onto hatred the way you do, blamed everyone else for his issues and kept him true self from me in the way that you do with your wife. I know you can't help it, you'll probably be on LS spreading your hate and bitterness until either the world or your life ends. Have fun with that, it sounds like a truly fulfilling life. 1
giotto Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 I hate my wife. Does it count? Actually, wait... I don't really hate her, maybe just a bit when she's been annoying... pppfff, nothing is black and white, ever! But I plan to hate my husband when I get my operation and get married again...
betterdeal Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 Woggle, what do you want us to do about it?
Pyro Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 My wife doesn't hate me but to prove you right Woggle I will hate myself.
frozensprouts Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 I hate my wife. Does it count? Actually, wait... I don't really hate her, maybe just a bit when she's been annoying... pppfff, nothing is black and white, ever! But I plan to hate my husband when I get my operation and get married again... neat! after you get your operation, do you plan on going on the Jerry Springer show to talk about your issues ( i was a man, had a sex change , got married and now I hate my husband)? You could go on right between the skinheads and the woman who needs to have 25 different men have paternity tests to find out which one fathered her child... sounds like some really highbrow entertainment:laugh:
dreamingoftigers Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 My type of girl that sounds fun. Just be sure to call me daddy! Dust, I would have to make sure to call you Daddy in order to hate you enough! But I am not sure we can get married with your sense of humor being so sharp, it will make it hard to hate you. And next time I walk down that aisle I will be prepared. I will make absolutely sure that I hate him with all of my heart.
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