quietGuy13 Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 Or does it have to be a long process always..... And no i dont need/want escorts to pay. i want to at least find a girl at least just to talk. But there's no one. I just keep chatting online but that's not very nice. I want to meet with someone face to face. HOw do i find someone now? Students have it easy, people that go to clubs have it easy.. they just go in there and people are there to meet eachother..but people in public places are not there to meet people (AS YOU ALL KNOW..I've tried to talk to girls in bus places and they dont' like it..Also in supermarket they dont like it) What to do? Not all of us are players..with game.. Joining classes doesn't work if you're not a player type guy. you just go to that clas or whatever and you learn , then you go home. Playboys are the only ones(or chatty types) that stay after class and talk. And we badspeakers/bad at speaking types,,don't do that because women don't like guys who are not good at speaking..so no wonder non of us(shy/bad speakers)try. I'm not gonna try if women think i'm stupid and think i'm garbage.
Onlyjonley Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 First of all, you need to build up your confidence. You're never going to get a girl if you view yourself that way. What are some of your hobbies?
Author quietGuy13 Posted January 25, 2012 Author Posted January 25, 2012 " First of all, you need to build up your confidence. You're never going to get a girl if you view yourself that way. What are some of your hobbies?" Well that's the truth. i'm not a good speaker. and confidence? I can't have confidence if what society tells me is that i'm a loser just cause i dont have a job and because I don't have a great career and because i'm a bad speaker. And actually woman after woman,, keeps saying that guys like me are losers and trash(including women in LoveShack). I dont know how i'm supposed to have confidence. My hobbies are music and basic homehobbies like that.
Onlyjonley Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 Well, start getting your **** together. Have you tried getting a job? Women want security.
ditzchic Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 " First of all, you need to build up your confidence. You're never going to get a girl if you view yourself that way. What are some of your hobbies?" Well that's the truth. i'm not a good speaker. and confidence? I can't have confidence if what society tells me is that i'm a loser just cause i dont have a job and because I don't have a great career and because i'm a bad speaker. And actually woman after woman,, keeps saying that guys like me are losers and trash(including women in LoveShack). I dont know how i'm supposed to have confidence. My hobbies are music and basic homehobbies like that. That's the thing about confidence. It has nothing to do with what society or Loveshack users think. It's about how YOU feel about YOU. I've never heard anyone on these forums call you a loser. I've seen lots of people tell you you need to work on yourself. That's completely true but totally different than them calling you a loser. People here are confident in you that if you do the work you can bust through these issues you have. Now you're gonna have to start being confident in yourself and actually do the work. The world can't do it for you.
thatone Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 well, first you have to stop posting on LS and go outside.
Imajerk17 Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 (edited) That's the thing about confidence. It has nothing to do with what society or Loveshack users think. It's about how YOU feel about YOU. I've never heard anyone on these forums call you a loser. I've seen lots of people tell you you need to work on yourself. That's completely true but totally different than them calling you a loser. People here are confident in you that if you do the work you can bust through these issues you have. Now you're gonna have to start being confident in yourself and actually do the work. The world can't do it for you. Well, here's the thing. If this were a newbie posting, I would write him a nice long detailed response. But, as he keeps asking the same question over and over again, despite getting some really good advice, which he ignores, I'm not going to waste my time. Jerk that I am, I'm going to find myself hating instead. Truth be told, everyone can write a different chapter in his life and change his ways, but my gut feeling is that quietGuy creeps people out. As of right now, he doesn't do much with his life (he doesn't even seem to be trying except for approaching women). But he wants women who are doing a lot with their lives. Anyway, it probably occurs to these women that he is approaching that he's just looking to "take" from them (their beauty and smarts and social life for his.... time spent home playing video games and asking stoopid questions on LS), so they blow him off. It's like when you do OLD and some 60-year-old dude with no teeth left writes you a novel. Seriously? Did it ever occur to him to consider what he would possibly have to offer you, BEFORE he wrote you? Even QG's threads--he keeps asking for immediate gratification. "I'm not going to do the work but gimme the goods anyway. And gimme the goods NOW..." Harsh but true. Edited January 25, 2012 by Imajerk17
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 First things first. Learn a skill or trade so you can get a job. Do what you need to do to move out of your parents' house. Get off the computer and especially stop flirting with teenage girls. Join a meetup group that does something you like, and DO IT. Once you have all of that covered, I think it will be much more likely you'll meet girls who will date you. Not today, though. P.S. Why don't you EVER acknowledge the advice that people give you here on LS, or answer questions people ask you?
oaks Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 What to do? Not all of us are players..with game.. Joining classes doesn't work if you're not a player type guy. There are a lot of guys out there who aren't "players" "with game" who have girlfriends. Just normal, ordinary, average people with normal, ordinary, average social skills. Anyway, we know you're not a good speaker, but is this an area where you cannot improve? or just that improvement is going to be difficult and take effort? If you're really unable to start/hold a conversation, and unable to improve that situation then, realistically, things are looking pretty bleak for you finding that hot girl (unless she's an airhead who doesn't care much for conversation).
Dust Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 You have to keep trying and stop this "NOW" attitude. Also if you think its so easy to meet women in school or clubs whats stopping you?
spiderowl Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 It does need to be a longer process than most guys are willing to wait for. Most guys want sex (understandable) but don't want to spend time building a relationship. I reckon you are all fed a load of rubbish about being 'friendzoned' so you don't build bridges but make a fairly direct sexual approach and then wonder why women are turned off. You need to build bridges with women. You can't start out just approaching them out of the blue and expecting a friendly reception. Most people react with surprise and you can easily get blown off because the woman was taken by surprise and acted defensively. May I suggest you start in small ways. Just smile in passing, ask a question about a product if in the shop, ask for directions to a nice café. See what response you get and always take a step back to let the woman feel that you are not going to push her. The next time you see her, smile again and exchange a few word, just do little things until you are no longer a stranger but someone she sees as a friendly contact. Once you are no longer a stranger, you can build up chatting time and talk about more personal things. When you are sure she's feeling comfortable with you, suggest a coffee some time. Don't pressure, just keep it relaxed and don't get all serious and persistent as that gets scary. I think a lot of guys who don't feel they are good with women tend to forget to smile and they look serious and keep watching her closely. You don't know how uncomfortable that can make someone feel. Aim for relaxed, funny and happy. Eventually, arrange a date of some kind - a time when it's just you and her going somewhere and spending time together. Make sure she knows you like her and find her attractive. You can do that in a teasing, friendly way, not serious and stalkery. If she accepts and realises it's a date, that's a good sign. Go out and have fun, don't expect anything other than a fun time with a good friend, then see how it goes. If she likes you, she won't mind being closer and I'm sure you'll pick up signs that she's happy for it to turn into more than friendship. Most guys get all serious, or they don't make it clear they like the woman so that she hasn't a clue about that. They try and 'test' to see if she will have sex with them (from the start?). Then they get shot down and wonder if every woman hates them and they lose confidence. You need to build a connection. Obviously, it helps to be confident, but if you lack confidence it's not because there is anything wrong with you or that you are unattractive. Quite often, it's just a big mistake to take advice from other guys who really haven't a clue. Generally, woman need to relate to a guy, for some time, before he can be anything more. Very, very attractive guys might be able to get away without building a relationship, but even they are likely to get dumped if they can't do that eventually.
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 First, you will need to learn how to support yourself and maintain that. Second, you need to move out of your parents' home. Third, you need to pursue some interests that are social and take place in a group, like a cooking group or whatever you like. You must stop pursuing underage girls on the Internet even as "just friends." Get off the Internet a lot, in general. Then you will be dateable. You've said you have disabilities, but I believe that I know people who are more disabled than you are who have been able to make a life for themselves. It will be very rewarding for you if you do.
Ninjainpajamas Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 quietGuy; I don't read all your posts on here but I'll tell you one good thing you have going for you: - Honesty and openness, expression You don't seem to have a problem just coming out and asking a question or expressing how you feel and being open about it. However I get the sense you are an unfiltered person who comes off as a creepy guy (I'm even a little scared of you and I could probably do a back-breaker on you quite easily) but you just got that vibe going on man like you're too desperate, trying too hard and too eager. I know that you really really really want to meet someone and have a connection and all that, but you're not investing enough time into what people are telling you because how people see you is kinda more important than who you are when dating, because people aren't going to want to get to know you If you're being creepy which is the vibe you give out. You need to calm down, relax...take a hike to the top of a tall mountain and breathe. You gotta just let things flow, especially when you really want something. You don't need to be player or have game, you just need to know how to be yourself. Go down the checklist; Appearance: How do I look? Exercise and lose some weight or get in better shape How am I dressed? Do I need a haircut? Even If you're not attractive, you need to have yourself put together regardless If you want to make the best impression that you can make. If you don't know how to shop, ask a sister or someone somewhat competent to go out with you and help you dress. I imagine you in an old wrinkly striped polo, with high-water dockers with a ****ed up looking goatie. If you don't feel good about yourself, and how you look that makes a huge impact on your self-confidence. Social Etiquette: Are you too shy? too quiet? do you just blurt out what you say without a filter? Are you ignorant to the things you do that turn people off? I would try to socialize more in the real world, that's probably the only way you're going to improve. Unless you spend time socializing with family and asking them what they think you do that is off-putting since htey can probably give you a lot of insight, ask them what you could do to improve yourself (except your mom!) Women: Since you don't seem to know much about women you should probably spend some time trying to understand how they work and what makes them tick. It probably wouldn't hurt to read up on that, and I don't know about the underaged girls thing but I hope you're not doing that and sticking to women around your age. As far as your disabilities (whatever those are), those can definitely restrict your dating pool so I'd actually recommend making trying to connect with people who have the same issues? It might help you relate and connect more? just a suggestion.
Author quietGuy13 Posted January 26, 2012 Author Posted January 26, 2012 Thanks all for your posts. "First, you will need to learn how to support yourself and maintain that." Yea.. how? If companies dont like me with my disabilities. i can't even walk much and i have mental problems too so i can't do jobs. Yeah, i guess i should forget about girls till i fix myself job wise. This just sucks
KathyM Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 In your case, I would suggest going to support group meetings to meet women who are struggling with the same issues as you are. If you have trouble with speaking to others, you might try going to a Toastmasters meeting. You can google that and find out where the nearest group is meeting, and just show up there. I'm sure people will talk to you. The whole purpose of the group is to get people to be comfortable with speaking to others. You might try going to meetup groups like was mentioned earlier on the thread. You can google that and see where those are meeting. You might try support groups for people with social anxiety disorder. Groups where you have the opportunity to talk to people, preferably ones which won't judge you for your anxiety level, is probably your best bet in your situation.
FitChick Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 If companies dont like me with my disabilities. i can't even walk much and i have mental problems too so i can't do jobs. QuietGuy, do you have cerebral palsy? Brain damage from an accident or traumatic birth? What was your diagnosis and what is your prognosis? In other words, what did doctors tell your parents about the kind of life you could live? Can you live in a halfway house with other disabled adults? Perhaps you would meet a woman with similar disabilities who would understand your challenges. You can pay a prostitute or escort for her time. You don't have to have sex. Plenty of men just hire a hooker to talk to. Really. You just need to find a sympathetic one.
RecordProducer Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 Yea.. how? If companies dont like me with my disabilities. i can't even walk much and i have mental problems too so i can't do jobs.You can get a job by volunteering first. Smile a lot and kiss people's asses - that's how this world works, that what everybody does every day. You think the cashier or watress is really happy to see me? It's her job to smile and chirp around. Find something you love; we suck at the jobs we hate. Perhaps some craft that fits your capabilities and limitations. QG, I am sorry for the "tough love" in your other threads. I didn't realize - and you didn't mention there - that you had both physical and mental disabilities. In that case, I think it's goodthat you live with your parents and I don't thinkyouwould be happier living in a group home. Your parents can take care of you. It would be great if you could become independent, but now is not the time. You can change a lot in your life if you only decide so. Have a vision of yourself and go for it. In your case, I would suggest going to support group meetings to meet women who are struggling with the same issues as you are.This is a great idea! It's no news that we feel comfortable around those who are similar to us because they understand us and don't judge us, and we have more in common. By looking at hot teenagers you're not going toachieve anything. Heck, I bet 99.9% of 30-year old guys in this country would be rejected by hot teenagers. Perhaps you would meet a woman with similar disabilities who would understand your challenges. Look for someone like YOU. And if you tell us you don'twant to then you should understand why girls don't want to date you. And no, you're not a loser. It's not your fault that you have disabilities. May I ask the same question as FitChick, what exactly doyou have? Why did you say you can barely walk? What kind of mental issues? You can pay a prostitute or escort for her time. You don't have to have sex. Plenty of men just hire a hooker to talk to. Really. You just need to find a sympathetic one. Geez, FC, he doesn't have money for a prostitute.
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 Lots of people with many types of disabilities have jobs and are able to live independently or in group homes, if they wish to. Do you believe that you are too disabled to do any job or to learn? Are you getting any social services or therapy of any kind?
FitChick Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 Geez, FC, he doesn't have money for a prostitute. He has money for sex toys. That money would be better spent on a live woman.
SJC2008 Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 Try an OLD site for people with disabilities. They are out there I just did a google search.
Imajerk17 Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 (edited) Cripes people, it astounds me how much time this forum wastes on the undeserved (one goal, ES, and now this guy). I suspect quietGuy is a troll and you're all suckers. If his caretakers are such control freaks, then why does he get to spend so much time on here? And how would he be getting to make contact with all these teenage girls?? His caretakers would rather he be doing the above than getting a job? Really? If quietGuy has time to make all these threads, he has the time to make something himself. Edited January 26, 2012 by Imajerk17
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