ditzchic Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 ha ha, my year's goal is to get into Neuroscience at U of C, I can't help myself. If you love some brain science, The Brain that Changes Itself is one of my faves. I'm actually more of a kinesiology and physiology nerd. But biological psychology is a strong interest as well. I checked out the book, looks like a good read! Thanks for the recommendation.
Imajerk17 Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 Whileyou're at it, stay helpful and go get the gun for her. Oh, and be so kind to load it, too. Well, yeah. He could have left it that she is so uptight/emotional/whatever, but he did not. Comparing the girl you are dating to another girl, not once, but twice, is a pretty clear sign.
Author Stupid Girl Posted January 25, 2012 Author Posted January 25, 2012 Friends, thank you for the multitute of different responses. I realize there were a lot of things I didn't consider. I didn't mention the comment he made because it wasn't really relevant to the story, but thinking about this from another angle, maybe this will give you more perspective on me, to even further qualify some responses. Someone had made a comment about lesbians making out on a cruise ship, and all the guys that were there made stupid comments about "wishing they were there" including my boyfriend. So use that to judge me as you will. carhill, he has 2 sets of friends; a mutual set we share, and his old/hometown friends. I like all our mutual friends obviously, that's why they're my friends too of his hometown friends, I've only met a few a small number of times, but they seem fine from what I know so far. I don't think I'm an uptight person at all, and he's never indicated he thought I was before or since that incident - but of course, we haven't been together long yet. Also, I don't know if this makes any difference or not based on the responses, but he specifically told me hehe never considered prettygirl as a romantic partner, just that he thought she was attractive. Which, as much as I hate to hear, I understand - I prefer him telling me that than lying and saying "no baby, you are the only beautiful girl in ther world, I'd never be attracted to anyone else."
Eddie Edirol Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 Why do you care that he said she was attractive? Does he not tell you that youre attractive?
Onlyjonley Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 Yes, that was a bit uptight. All dudes like girl-on-girl action -- who cares? Why'd it piss you off?
chelsea2011 Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 Well that makes the situation much clearer. So he only said he thought she was attractive? That's a big difference and isn't something you should be upset about really. Your opening post made it sound like this guy told you he wanted to date her, but she was taken. If he just thinks she is attractive, that is no big deal. There are a lot of attractive people in the world and you can end up driving yourself crazy worrying about it. As far as the lesbian comment? That's just guys. Like the other poster said, punch him in the arm and make a joke. Thanks for clarifying. I retract my earlier post.
Author Stupid Girl Posted January 31, 2012 Author Posted January 31, 2012 So a new situation came up related to my OP, and I wanted to get some perspective on it. Tell me, am I making a deal out of nothing? I went out last weekend with a group of friends, one of whom is good friends with pretty girl. He and pretty girl hang out a lot and always seem a bit flirtacious, so we were jokingly giving him a hard time about that when we were at the restaurant. Later, the boyfriend was asking me about my night, and I mentioned us giving the guy a hard time about because it always seemed like he and pretty girl had some sort of romance going on. (I should mention that bf knows the other guy, and is not a fan of him at all.) Bf then made a comment along the lines of "Pretty girl and that guy? Yeah right!" the obvious implication being, pretty girl is out of that guy's league, way too wonderful for him, etc. I thought it was a strange comment right off the bat, but I didn't say anything. Then the more I thought about it after our conversation, the more it bothered me. I'm friends with the other guy, so I don't think of them in terms of who's "better" than who. But it's clear my bf thinks lowly of my friend, and/or highly of pretty girl. I brought it up to my boyfriend the next day, that in light of him comparing me to her before, this comment was kind of a big deal to me. He then got really upset, he says, because he didn't think it was a big deal and I was being ridiculous. I say, it might have been a guilty conscience. One thing he mentioned, is if I trust him, he should be able to say whatever, about any girl, to me. Which I do agree with. But should I not take note if he says things that indicate one day he might not be faithful to me? I can trust somebody and still realize there's a chance I'm going to get cheated on. It sure has happened to me before.
ditzchic Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 So a new situation came up related to my OP, and I wanted to get some perspective on it. Tell me, am I making a deal out of nothing? I went out last weekend with a group of friends, one of whom is good friends with pretty girl. He and pretty girl hang out a lot and always seem a bit flirtacious, so we were jokingly giving him a hard time about that when we were at the restaurant. Later, the boyfriend was asking me about my night, and I mentioned us giving the guy a hard time about because it always seemed like he and pretty girl had some sort of romance going on. (I should mention that bf knows the other guy, and is not a fan of him at all.) Bf then made a comment along the lines of "Pretty girl and that guy? Yeah right!" the obvious implication being, pretty girl is out of that guy's league, way too wonderful for him, etc. I thought it was a strange comment right off the bat, but I didn't say anything. Then the more I thought about it after our conversation, the more it bothered me. I'm friends with the other guy, so I don't think of them in terms of who's "better" than who. But it's clear my bf thinks lowly of my friend, and/or highly of pretty girl. I brought it up to my boyfriend the next day, that in light of him comparing me to her before, this comment was kind of a big deal to me. He then got really upset, he says, because he didn't think it was a big deal and I was being ridiculous. I say, it might have been a guilty conscience. One thing he mentioned, is if I trust him, he should be able to say whatever, about any girl, to me. Which I do agree with. But should I not take note if he says things that indicate one day he might not be faithful to me? I can trust somebody and still realize there's a chance I'm going to get cheated on. It sure has happened to me before. I really wouldn't think much of his comment about the other guy. You already said that he wasn't a fan of him. You know how men get when i comes to someone they don't like. Of course he's going to drag him down. The thing about he should be able to say whatever about any girl if you trust him... I don't really see it that way. I think it's less about trust and more about respect when it comes to saying stuff like that to one another. Sure you don't think he's gonna jump every girl who's name he ever mentions but if he is saying things that make you upset or feel insecure, he should want to not do that to you. Trust and respect go hand in hand. It's hard to have one without the other. There's always a chance of someone cheating on you but if you respect the person enough to know they're not that kind of guy, you trust that it won't happen. I think the respect thing is what you are both lacking for each other. On a side note, your boyfriend sounds like a real bag of dicks.
RecordProducer Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 (edited) I brought it up to my boyfriend the next day, that in light of him comparing me to her before, this comment was kind of a big deal to me. Hm... in light of everything, the fact is what he said to you was not pleasant. It's only been a couple months and you already have an issue - and the issue is you're feeling insecure because he is making suspicious comments about another woman. He then got really upset, he says, because he didn't think it was a big deal and I was being ridiculous. I say, it might have been a guilty conscience.What happened to "hey, honey, you know I'm only into you, I don't care about PG, you're the hottest for me!"??? That's what a guy worth keeping would say. One thing he mentioned, is if I trust him, he should be able to say whatever, about any girl, to me. Which I do agree with. Why would you agree with this? If the comment about your friend and PG was the only comment, you wouldn't have even noticed it as anything suspicious. It's rude to talk about how attractive other people are - nobody likes that. How about YOU start telling HIM aboutother guys and how sexy they are? Maybe you should tell him "Oh, I just found a video of me and my ex-boyfriend George having sex - boy, that guy had the biggest dick I've ever seen, it's like a whale!" Let's see how he likes that! But should I not take note if he says things that indicate one day he might not be faithful to me? His statements per se don't necessarily mean he's not faithful, but the fact that it crossed your mind means you already don't trust him - and that's not good. It's not good because if he is not giving you a reason to trust him (on the contrary - he's giving you a reason NOT to trust him), then you can't have a reason to love him. May I ask, how old are you? I can trust somebody and still realize there's a chance I'm going to get cheated on. It sure has happened to me before. But being in a relationship where you feel you can trust your partner is priceless. Edited February 1, 2012 by RecordProducer
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