PJKino Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 You always see how women are told not to meet guys at bars because theyre all looking to get laid blah blah blah its kinda stupid to me Aside from being unattractive i think id make a pretty good loyal partner me hanging out at a bar doesnt make me someone just looking to get laid..Sure theyres guys at bars looking just to get laid just like guys at any other venue.. Im 31 years old so i still like to go out to bars/lounges on weekends to unwind like most people around my age its not time for me to go to bingo on friday nights yet..i dont fele i sholud be judged as undateable for being at a bar.. I dont assume any women whos at a bar is a whore..i assume shes still relatively young and trying to unwind and have a good time with friends.. Im not saying a bar is the ideal place to meet someone but its stupid to assume a person isnt good relationship material if theyre at a bar when most people under a certain age spend time there on wekends..
shocked_confused Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 Agreed. 100%. Sure there are scumbags out in the clubs/bars, but there are probably just as many scumbags that go to your local coffee joint. Scumbags have daily lives too, right? They can be anywhere at anytime, they're just easier to spot at clubs. I think clubs make the presence of scumbags/whores more apparent because many of the people are drunk, carefree, and willing to put out/have sex.
shocked_confused Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 AND For every sleazeball/whore that is lurking around in the club, there is a nice, normal guy or girl. Normal people like myself like bars too.
Author PJKino Posted January 24, 2012 Author Posted January 24, 2012 Agreed. 100%. Sure there are scumbags out in the clubs/bars, but there are probably just as many scumbags that go to your local coffee joint. Scumbags have daily lives too, right? They can be anywhere at anytime, they're just easier to spot at clubs. I think clubs make the presence of scumbags/whores more apparent because many of the people are drunk, carefree, and willing to put out/have sex. Yep plus the guy you meet at a coffee place might have been at *gasp* bar a few times in his life:eek:
ditzchic Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 'Like most people my age' Not really. A small percent of 31 year olds are at a bar on a Friday night. Most are at home, others visiting friends, etc. Nothing wrong with bars. Most women don't go there to get laid...you must hang out at some dives. Bars are just not the first choice of hangout for most adults. On a Friday night when I was 31 I'd be having a quiet time at home, maybe have a couploe of friends over. Might have been getting ready to go out on a hike or bike ride on Saturday with a bunch of like-minded people. I've always liked to talk to women and prefer to talk over a cup of coffee or glass of wine in a quiet place. Never liked bars when I was 31 and still don't. I agree with this. 31 is a bit old to be a regular at a bar. I'll be 30 in a month and I still hit up the bar on occasion but it's like once every month or two. I still drink to loosen up from the week but the venue has changed. I would now much rather drink with a small gathering of friends or at a restaurant type place on a friday/saturday night then be out in a dive bar or club with a bunch of oversexed children.
grkBoy Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 I think it depends on where you go and who you meet. I usually tell people not to bother with the bars because I've come across too many women who not only have the bar set too high, but they also have the guard up simply because of the bad apples who spoiled it for many men. Not just playas, but the "overgrown children". Plus the women tend to travel in tightly knit packs who will cockblock you simply because they're jealous you're not hitting on them, and when some of these women get alcohol in them...turn up the flakiness. I'll also add how many women go out with only $20 in their pockets, spend all evening flirting for free drinks, then later online claim to death how they pay for their own drinks. I know some women do, but it's amazing how many simply flirt to get freebies, and some seriously believe a woman should never pay. It just seems more troublesome and/or challenging to meet women in bars and clubs, hence why I tell guys to think elsewhere.
veggirl Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 Depends on the bar. Sure there are the college street bars that are full of 22 yr olds looking to get laid. Then there are neighborhood dives and lounges that will likely have an older crowd. I see nothing wrong with going out to a bar etc at 31. lol who cares...what a silly thing to be all uppity about. At a bar it's very clear to tell who is "bad news". It's the ones who are trying to take you home THAT NIGHT.
carhill Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 If you like going to your neighborhood pub to unwind, good on ya. Do what you do. Most of the neighborhood pubs I've gone to in my travels have been a blast. Great places to drink a bit and meet people and listen to some live music. Nothing has to come of it other than the good time I sought out. The women who would view you as undateable from that narrow data point you don't want to date or socialize with anyway.
xpaperxcutx Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 I go to bars, lounges and clubs. I party like it's New Years. At the end of the night I go home with my friends, so that hardly ever makes me easy. Let others think what they will, I'm my own personal judge of character.
Cypress25 Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 At a bar it's very clear to tell who is "bad news". It's the ones who are trying to take you home THAT NIGHT. I agree. You have to observe a person's behavior to understand their intentions. A guy in a bar who asks for my number might be OK. A guy in a bar who is trying to take me home right then and there is not OK. Plus the women tend to travel in tightly knit packs who will cockblock you simply because they're jealous you're not hitting on them, and when some of these women get alcohol in them...turn up the flakiness. That's not why they're cockblocking you. They're not jealous, they're protecting their friend. Girls look out for each other when they're drinking, it's part of Girl Code. If I see that my drunk friend is about to go home with a guy she just met, I'll intervene because that's a dangerous situation. But I won't stop the guy from flirting with her. I'll just take my friend aside and say "Don't go home with him, just give him your number." That way he can call her and ask her out, instead of taking advantage of her while she's drunk. Friends don't let drunk friends go home with strangers. I'll also add how many women go out with only $20 in their pockets, spend all evening flirting for free drinks, then later online claim to death how they pay for their own drinks. I know some women do, but it's amazing how many simply flirt to get freebies, and some seriously believe a woman should never pay. Funny story. I don't drink, so when I go out with friends I'll just get a soda or something. If a guy sees me with an empty glass and offers to get me a refill, I always say "No thanks, it's just diet Coke." And every time, without fail, the guy's response is to wave his hand dismissively and say "Oh, never mind." I think it's hilarious, because obviously no guy would bother buying a girl a non-alcoholic beverage. He's not trying to be a gentleman, he's trying to get the girl drunk. Diet Coke is pointless; it doesn't help him get laid.
xpaperxcutx Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 Funny story. I don't drink, so when I go out with friends I'll just get a soda or something. If a guy sees me with an empty glass and offers to get me a refill, I always say "No thanks, it's just diet Coke." And every time, without fail, the guy's response is to wave his hand dismissively and say "Oh, never mind." I think it's hilarious, because obviously no guy would bother buying a girl a non-alcoholic beverage. He's not trying to be a gentleman, he's trying to get the girl drunk. Diet Coke is pointless; it doesn't help him get laid. Love this. But you do know coke cost about the same as a shot of vodka on a night out right? But i like the way you handle yourself.
Cypress25 Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 Love this. But you do know coke cost about the same as a shot of vodka on a night out right? But i like the way you handle yourself. Actually I often don't get charged for soda because the bartender assumes I'm the designated driver. Even when I do have to pay, I know it won't amount to much. For everyone else, drinking is part of the fun, so they keep drinking all night long. They drink until they pass out, but I drink until I'm no longer thirsty. I don't say "no thanks" because of the price, I say "no thanks" because I know the guy would never offer if he knew what I was really drinking, lol. Besides, I find it uncomfortable to have a stranger pay for my drink. Offering to pay at the end of a date is one thing, but offering to buy me a drink when we've just met is weird to me.
donnamaybe Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 I actually overheard a guy telling his friend that you can't meet a decent person in a bar... while they were in a bar! :rolleyes:
El Brujo Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 This is news to me! I've heard it repeated over and over that if you're not into the bar scene, you're a geek/nerd/failure/loser/undesirable/rotter!
blueskyday Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 Depends on the bar. A neighborhood pub/hang out is fun once in a while. A packed club is not. There is no way I would give a guy the time of day in one of those places (clubs). Sorry, it's just easier to say no to all of them. Too many creeps to go through to get to the good guys. I never let guys buy me drinks, either. A date is one thing. Other than that these guys are strangers, and I'm not a taker. But, I prefer quiet, intimate settings to get to know people, so I'm hardly ever out at bars. When I am, they are of the dive neighborhood variety. I'm usually part of a crowd that's going. There would probably be a bunch of good guys there hanging with their friends, too, having fun like me. I might give out my number to one of them who doesn't seem like a bar rat, because I don't much care for the scene myself.
Feelin Frisky Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 (edited) I wish I knew what I know now when I was young and unsure and believed that bars were a place "unwind" and "meet". They are places where products of a social developmentally neglected educational systems like those of America, surrender to their quietly assumed inability to experience unmedicated feelings and communicate with strangers. They are preyed upon by alcohol producers who trivialize what is actually a horrendously dangerous and unhealthful drug whose history is proven. People who meet in bars most frequently never answer the phone calls of the people they gave their number to while under the influence. I myself spent thousands of dollars manning bar stools on several levels of economic strata. It is such a loosing proposition for the small chance that you may meet someone--you may but that person will not be who they really are when you meet them or they will have the mileage on them of doing the same thing you are--hoping, drinking, regretting. Alcohol is a drug--a bad one--and I despise hearing a person say they don't have a drug problem while guzzling a beer and smoking a cigarette. There is hypocrisy galore in the traditional world of the saloon and it's not the place to meet someone of substance. The place to do that is by doing your best to be someone at what you do and taking social risks unmedicated with inebrients. There are real medications that exist to help people sort themselves out and those are not the same. They help people find themselves. Alcohol and other drugs are for obscuring and losing yourself. That all said, I'm not against taking someone you know and are in a relationship with to a bar for a little. It's just not the place to meet prospects for good LTRS. Edited January 25, 2012 by Feelin Frisky
veggirl Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 I wish I knew what I know now when I was young and unsure and believed that bars were a place "unwind" and "meet". They are places where products of a social developmentally neglected educational systems like those of America, surrender to their quietly assumed inability to experience unmedicated feelings and communicate with strangers. They are preyed upon by alcohol producers who trivialize what is actually a horrendously dangerous and unhealthful drug whose history is proven. People who meet in bars most frequently never answer the phone calls of the people they gave their number to while under the influence. I myself spent thousands of dollars manning bar stools on several levels of economic strata. It is such a loosing proposition for the small chance that you may meet someone--you may but that person will not be who they really are when you meet them or they will have the mileage on them of doing the same thing you are--hoping, drinking, regretting. Alcohol is a drug--a bad one--and I despise hearing a person say they don't have a drug problem while guzzling a beer and smoking a cigarette. There is hypocrisy galore in the traditional world of the saloon and it's not the place to meet someone of substance. The place to do that is by doing your best to be someone at what you do and taking social risks unmedicated with inebrients. There are real medications that exist to help people sort themselves out and those are not the same. They help people find themselves. Alcohol and other drugs are for obscuring and losing yourself. That all said, I'm not against taking someone you know and are in a relationship with to a bar for a little. It's just not the place to meet prospects for good LTRS. Oh, FFS. Yep, anyone who pops into the neighborhood dive is an out of touch alcoholic. No one of substance would ever go there. Unless they are in a relationship already, apparently. Saloon Strata Inebrients Neglected Horrendously dangerous LMAO.
Dust Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 You always see how women are told not to meet guys at bars because theyre all looking to get laid blah blah blah its kinda stupid to me Aside from being unattractive i think id make a pretty good loyal partner me hanging out at a bar doesnt make me someone just looking to get laid..Sure theyres guys at bars looking just to get laid just like guys at any other venue.. Im 31 years old so i still like to go out to bars/lounges on weekends to unwind like most people around my age its not time for me to go to bingo on friday nights yet..i dont fele i sholud be judged as undateable for being at a bar.. I dont assume any women whos at a bar is a whore..i assume shes still relatively young and trying to unwind and have a good time with friends.. Im not saying a bar is the ideal place to meet someone but its stupid to assume a person isnt good relationship material if theyre at a bar when most people under a certain age spend time there on wekends.. People drink in a bar. Bars are loud. Bars have a stigma. For all these reasons they arn't the greatest place. If you meet a girl at the park while playing with your dog or just taking a walk its a nice story. If you meet some one in a bar its a step up from meeting them at an abortion clinic or something of a more stigmatic nature. AND For every sleazeball/whore that is lurking around in the club, there is a nice, normal guy or girl. Normal people like myself like bars too. I agree normal people go to bars. The thing is people drink. Even if they arn't drinking people act different and more reserved in a bar. People arn't as likely to just freely flirt and talk. Everything is ultra focused. Yep plus the guy you meet at a coffee place might have been at *gasp* bar a few times in his life:eek: He might have also strangled a few hookers, the thing is meeting him in the cofee place as opposed to drinking in the bar adds credibility to the guy. Thats life. I agree with this. 31 is a bit old to be a regular at a bar. I'll be 30 in a month and I still hit up the bar on occasion but it's like once every month or two. I still drink to loosen up from the week but the venue has changed. I would now much rather drink with a small gathering of friends or at a restaurant type place on a friday/saturday night then be out in a dive bar or club with a bunch of oversexed children. Oversexed children haha you make me laugh. I don't think you're trying though:cool: I think it depends on where you go and who you meet. I usually tell people not to bother with the bars because I've come across too many women who not only have the bar set too high, but they also have the guard up simply because of the bad apples who spoiled it for many men. Not just playas, but the "overgrown children". Plus the women tend to travel in tightly knit packs who will cockblock you simply because they're jealous you're not hitting on them, and when some of these women get alcohol in them...turn up the flakiness. I'll also add how many women go out with only $20 in their pockets, spend all evening flirting for free drinks, then later online claim to death how they pay for their own drinks. I know some women do, but it's amazing how many simply flirt to get freebies, and some seriously believe a woman should never pay. It just seems more troublesome and/or challenging to meet women in bars and clubs, hence why I tell guys to think elsewhere. I only go to bars for the fun of being out of my house and staring and scantily clad young ladies. I do get dates out of it but I hardly rely on it. Everything you said is true ladies are cock blocks... but worse of all other guys are there who instead of helping eachother out try to fight you and start crap. I mean some nice guys out there... but a lot of trouble to. Not to mention every ones trying to get your money. I don't like going to places with a cover. I Try not to buy more then 2 drinks. I usualy don't buy any for women I've just met. Like I said I just go for fun, I'm not relying on a bar/night club to meet women. I agree. You have to observe a person's behavior to understand their intentions. A guy in a bar who asks for my number might be OK. A guy in a bar who is trying to take me home right then and there is not OK. I want to know what you look like! I wonder if you have DSL? That's not why they're cockblocking you. They're not jealous' date=' they're protecting their friend. Girls look out for each other when they're drinking, it's part of Girl Code. If I see that my drunk friend is about to go home with a guy she just met, I'll intervene because that's a dangerous situation. But I won't stop the guy from flirting with her. I'll just take my friend aside and say "Don't go home with him, just give him your number." That way he can call her and ask her out, instead of taking advantage of her while she's drunk. Friends don't let drunk friends go home with strangers.[/quote'] Thats sweet of you. But what I and many guys have seen is straight up cock blocking. They don't even want you to talk to their friend let a lone get their number. Funny story. I don't drink' date=' so when I go out with friends I'll just get a soda or something. If a guy sees me with an empty glass and offers to get me a refill, I always say "No thanks, it's just diet Coke." And every time, without fail, the guy's response is to wave his hand dismissively and say "Oh, never mind." I think it's hilarious, because obviously no guy would bother buying a girl a non-alcoholic beverage. He's not trying to be a gentleman, he's trying to get the girl drunk. Diet Coke is pointless; it doesn't help him get laid. [/quote'] ugh diet coke. You know the only reason the stuff has no sugar is marketing so they can be like "no sugar." I mean its got something in there making it sweet and it's not good for you. People who eat and drink diet food are fatter and more cancerous. Maybe thats why he refuse to by you the diet drink. I'd be turned off too. Love this. But you do know coke cost about the same as a shot of vodka on a night out right? But i like the way you handle yourself. Like Cypress said to you they often give it to you free at the classier places. I just drink water if I'm not having something good like the crown royal or grey goose! I wish I knew what I know now when I was young and unsure and believed that bars were a place "unwind" and "meet". They are places where products of a social developmentally neglected educational systems like those of America, surrender to their quietly assumed inability to experience unmedicated feelings and communicate with strangers. They are preyed upon by alcohol producers who trivialize what is actually a horrendously dangerous and unhealthful drug whose history is proven. People who meet in bars most frequently never answer the phone calls of the people they gave their number to while under the influence. I myself spent thousands of dollars manning bar stools on several levels of economic strata. It is such a loosing proposition for the small chance that you may meet someone--you may but that person will not be who they really are when you meet them or they will have the mileage on them of doing the same thing you are--hoping, drinking, regretting. Alcohol is a drug--a bad one--and I despise hearing a person say they don't have a drug problem while guzzling a beer and smoking a cigarette. There is hypocrisy galore in the traditional world of the saloon and it's not the place to meet someone of substance. The place to do that is by doing your best to be someone at what you do and taking social risks unmedicated with inebrients. There are real medications that exist to help people sort themselves out and those are not the same. They help people find themselves. Alcohol and other drugs are for obscuring and losing yourself. That all said, I'm not against taking someone you know and are in a relationship with to a bar for a little. It's just not the place to meet prospects for good LTRS. I agree with your post. People in this society always on some kind of drug. Although some times its fun just to get high.
El Brujo Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 If I wanted to drink myself into a stupor, I don't need to go to a bar. I'd just buy my own booze and drink it at home, and get as sick-drunk as I want. No muss no fuss.
El Brujo Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 I just drink water if I'm not having something good like the crown royal or grey goose! Have you tried Red Star? It costs about $2.50 for an 8-oz flask. It's 112 proof which is pretty strong. You can get it in L.A.'s Chinatown at one of the trading companies. It's a good antiseptic for cuts and scrapes too.
TheFinalWord Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 Never was much into the bar scene; pubs can be cool. But the bar/club stuff isn't for me. I can't hear myself think let alone someone else talk. I don't see how that's relaxing or conducive to meeting someone, but to each their own! Like most anything, I'm sure some people beat the odds.
colliejoanie Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 This is, after all, about the OP.....I have a feeling he feels comfortable in whatever kind of "bar scene" he's experiencing......so, whatever that is, no.....it's not a bad thing. I think the bad rap comes from pick up bars and forever drunken people. If you stay relatively sober, and don't hit on the girls doing body shots at 9 pm, or who aren't bellied up every week day evening at 4, I think it's safe. Similar people hang out in similar bars. if you're a social person who likes to hang out and drink, you're going to find other social people who like to hang out and drink. You'll at least find someone who has similar interests. As Dust said, the problem is the alcohol.....once it starts flowing, people's inhabitions are off. Yours and hers. You may have every intention of asking this girl on a date for NEXT WEEK, and suddenly you're sucking face by the juke box (do they have those anymore??) and you never talk again. Keep it classy
USCGAviator Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 There certainly is a stigma but who cares. It is what it is. I go to the bar on occasion to simply have fun socially with good friends. Last time I went to the local dive bar with a buddy of mine, I saw an absolute gorgeous women there. I scoped her out for a awhile to make sure she wasnt with a guy and finally I made my move and got her number with some brief conversation. She blew me off for 3 months or so with me initiating all our "brief" txting every now and then. Now I'm seeing this woman and things are goin pretty smooth. She said my efforts made me worth her time.
SJC2008 Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 I think bars have a bad wrap for the most part. I'm not talking about chitty hole in the walls though. If you are a man and go to a bar looking for a ons, chances are your gonna strike out more than you score. If it was the other way around then I'd say they are a bad place. I live in Houston and midtown and washington st is a great bar scene for ealy-late 20's. That being said I'm 30 and still fit in for the most part and haven't gotten the "dam you're too old to be here" look yet lol and thank god! That being said, when googleing best places to meet women. A site I was on said a very small percent of woman would feel comfortable admitting she met her man at a bar if that was the case.
Cypress25 Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 ugh diet coke. You know the only reason the stuff has no sugar is marketing so they can be like "no sugar." I mean its got something in there making it sweet and it's not good for you. People who eat and drink diet food are fatter and more cancerous. Maybe thats why he refuse to by you the diet drink. I'd be turned off too. LOL you're right. Guys are turned off by my unhealthy choice of diet Coke. They'd much rather see me drink something healthy like a vodka sour or a shot of whiskey. Isn't that sweet of them, looking out for my health like that. For the record, I don't drink diet Coke because it's sugar-free. I drink it because it's calorie-free and I like the taste. It has artificial sweetener in it, and the rumors that it causes cancer were proven wrong about 10 years ago. It hasn't made me fat yet; I've been drinking it for years and I weigh 110 pounds. If you want a drink that will make you fat, drink booze. You'll have a belly in no time.
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