Woggle Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 Ha! Is that the man's version of the story? How do we know it is not true. Women make up crap about their marriages as well. I know my ex did.
RecordProducer Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 i get approached more when im single, but im out more when im single. without a guy. Same here. To address your concern, some men look fora green light from the woman, some don't care because they hope to charm her up. Your concern should be NOT whether your partner gets approached but how she responds to the approach. You want her to be faithful because she is in love with you, not because nobody is approaching her.
FitChick Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 I once had a boyfriend comment that he thought all of my male friends wanted to have sex with me. I replied, "Well, that is their problem since I'm not interested. Don't you think it would have happened by now if I were?" People are not helpless robots. We all make choices and need to take responsibility for those choices.
Woggle Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 I once had a boyfriend comment that he thought all of my male friends wanted to have sex with me. I replied, "Well, that is their problem since I'm not interested. Don't you think it would have happened by now if I were?" People are not helpless robots. We all make choices and need to take responsibility for those choices. This is true but I have seen cases where a man catches a woman on an off moment and next thing you know she is cheating on her guy. Not all women are like this but I understand the paranoia.
zengirl Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 I was really hoping to hear more answers like the last one, where women basically don't get hit on or approached unless they're sending out approach invitations, such as eye contact or whatever. But it appears that with many women, they get hit on more after getting a boyfriend. I think the last one is mine and I never said I don't get hit on---it's simply much less. It think it's pretty clear, that until I can see this as a fair arrangement, I have no business having an exclusive girlfriend. My problem, is, in no way can I see this as a fair arrangement. I stop approaching other women but she continues to be approached by other men. In my mind, this simply isn't a fair arrangement. That's pretty ridiculous. I mean, the fair arrangement is: She stops approaching men, and you stop approaching women. Nothing is magically stopping women from approaching you, after all. And, yes, some men DO get approached. I know, as I've approached men. I've even approached men I found out had a girlfriend in my life. They told me so, said they were flattered, and such is life. Even if you don't get approached, you may still get signals and the like.
Ruby Slippers Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 And, yes, some men DO get approached. I know, as I've approached men. I've even approached men I found out had a girlfriend in my life. They told me so, said they were flattered, and such is life. Even if you don't get approached, you may still get signals and the like. Good point. I had one boyfriend in particular who got hit on constantly, got checked out, had women being very touchy and trying to hang on him. I never felt threatened by that, though, because he handled it very well. I just thought, "Yep, that's my man. Sexy, ain't he? And he's goin' home with me tonight."
Woggle Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 I get hit on more now that I am married but I just brush it off. I know who my heart is with.
Author TheSingleGuy Posted January 25, 2012 Author Posted January 25, 2012 I read a book called Sperm Wars some time ago. The book said that something like 18% of all babies born are not actually fathered by the alleged father. Yeah, stuff like that drives me nuts. I guess I just don't trust. Another thing that just drives me nuts, is, a story a girl told me a couple years ago. She had a friend with "daddy issues". This female friend of hers slept with, like, 50 different men in a year. This just makes me want to vomit. Not because what she did was immoral, or anything like that, but just because this ABSOLUTELY makes it very clear to me that any woman I get involved with CHOSE me, and not the other way around. I could try my very hardest, and there is no way I could sleep with that many women in a year. Not a chance. This is the power that women have. Pussy control. It makes me sick. A woman can get laid if she wants to. Period. But the 40 year old male virgin, it is not his choice to be that guy. It was the choice of all the women he's encountered in those 40 years...those women made the choice that his virginity would remain intact, not him. So, yeah, I guess I need more "confidence" and to somehow realize that "a happy woman won't whore around". The problem is, how much unhappiness will she tolerate before she does this? Keeping a woman happy for a lifetime??? Seriously??? That is mission impossible. No man can do that, and it shouldn't be his responsibility in the first place. But this is the way it is. If she falls below a certain threshold of unhappiness, it's her husband's fault. Now she a license to dump him or whore around. And it's all, from my perspective, a function of this never ending stream of men who continue to approach her repeatedly. Please don't take this as some sort of "I hate women" thing. It's not intended to be that. I just see so much logical things around me that say "Don't be that guy.". The divorce rate, now at 67%, combined with women initiating the divorce 70 to 90% of the time. Why would any sane man do that? Why keep a girlfriend around more than a few months? It's just a horrible gamble in my opinion.
Ruby Slippers Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 A woman can get laid if she wants to. Period. But the 40 year old male virgin, it is not his choice to be that guy. Yeah, this is one advantage women have. The irony, of course, is that most women don't just want to get laid, as some men do. Women have a different set of disappointments and heartbreaks to deal with. Keeping a woman happy for a lifetime??? Seriously??? That is mission impossible. No man can do that, and it shouldn't be his responsibility in the first place. It's not your job to keep anyone but yourself happy. How about you look for women who don't rely on men to provide them with happiness, but go for it themselves? Happiness comes from within. No one can give it you. People can support you and your happiness, but they can't conjure it up for you. I think the best thing you can do is get solid with yourself, work on your own happiness. I spent a lot of the past 3 years feeling pretty hopeless about the prospect of lasting love with a man. I didn't start climbing out of this hole until I changed my attitude and got back to doing the things I love, regardless of the presence or absence of a man in my life.
Woggle Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 I read a book called Sperm Wars some time ago. The book said that something like 18% of all babies born are not actually fathered by the alleged father. Yeah, stuff like that drives me nuts. I guess I just don't trust. Another thing that just drives me nuts, is, a story a girl told me a couple years ago. She had a friend with "daddy issues". This female friend of hers slept with, like, 50 different men in a year. This just makes me want to vomit. Not because what she did was immoral, or anything like that, but just because this ABSOLUTELY makes it very clear to me that any woman I get involved with CHOSE me, and not the other way around. I could try my very hardest, and there is no way I could sleep with that many women in a year. Not a chance. This is the power that women have. Pussy control. It makes me sick. A woman can get laid if she wants to. Period. But the 40 year old male virgin, it is not his choice to be that guy. It was the choice of all the women he's encountered in those 40 years...those women made the choice that his virginity would remain intact, not him. So, yeah, I guess I need more "confidence" and to somehow realize that "a happy woman won't whore around". The problem is, how much unhappiness will she tolerate before she does this? Keeping a woman happy for a lifetime??? Seriously??? That is mission impossible. No man can do that, and it shouldn't be his responsibility in the first place. But this is the way it is. If she falls below a certain threshold of unhappiness, it's her husband's fault. Now she a license to dump him or whore around. And it's all, from my perspective, a function of this never ending stream of men who continue to approach her repeatedly. Please don't take this as some sort of "I hate women" thing. It's not intended to be that. I just see so much logical things around me that say "Don't be that guy.". The divorce rate, now at 67%, combined with women initiating the divorce 70 to 90% of the time. Why would any sane man do that? Why keep a girlfriend around more than a few months? It's just a horrible gamble in my opinion. I agree. The statistics are scary for any man looking for love and it is a big fear of mine. Women have no clue how much this walkaway wife trend scares men from wanting to get involved with a woman.
xxoo Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 Women have no clue how much this walkaway wife trend scares men from wanting to get involved with a woman. Oh, I think we do, Woggle. Before there was a walkaway wife trend, there was the male "cheat on your wife with a woman half her age" midlife crisis. It isn't like men DON'T cheat. They may initiate divorce less often, but that is because they want to keep the wife and girlfriend
Woggle Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 Oh, I think we do, Woggle. Before there was a walkaway wife trend, there was the male "cheat on your wife with a woman half her age" midlife crisis. It isn't like men DON'T cheat. They may initiate divorce less often, but that is because they want to keep the wife and girlfriend So you think that is just deserved revenge against men?
xxoo Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 So you think that is just deserved revenge against men? No, I don't! You said women have no clue how scary it is for men get involved with women. I said, yes, we know exactly how scary it is. We've known long before the walkaway wife trend.
Ruby Slippers Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 No, I don't! You said women have no clue how scary it is for men get involved with women. I said, yes, we know exactly how scary it is. We've known long before the walkaway wife trend. Exactly. One of my biggest hangups about men is that it seems like no matter how great a partner you are, eventually, it's almost inevitable that you will lose your luster to him and he'll go looking for something different. It seems to me that very few men really stick to their commitments in love.
Woggle Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 Exactly. One of my biggest hangups about men is that it seems like no matter how great a partner you are, eventually, it's almost inevitable that you will lose your luster to him and he'll go looking for something different. It seems to me that very few men really stick to their commitments in love. Women are just as bad. They file 75% of divorces and seem to be more prone to grass is greener syndrome. According to an article I posted there is a good chance my wife will hate me half the time.
xxoo Posted January 26, 2012 Posted January 26, 2012 Women are just as bad. Men are just as bad. It is a big risk for all of us! But it is no excuse to be paranoid in a relationship. If you are going to punish your partner with your paranoia, just stay single.
Negative Nancy Posted January 27, 2012 Posted January 27, 2012 (edited) Exactly. One of my biggest hangups about men is that it seems like no matter how great a partner you are, eventually, it's almost inevitable that you will lose your luster to him and he'll go looking for something different. It seems to me that very few men really stick to their commitments in love. That is my hangup as well. Best thing is to keep your heart guarded and not get too attached to a man, in the end most men dump their wives for a younger broad anyway after the wife's "expiration date" is over. In my experience, for every guy approaching a woman in a relationship, there's a man in a relationship ignoring his woman to masturbate to porn or check out other women/greener grass. Or cheat behind the women's backs. Most men want variety and get bored with the same ol' piece of meat. So men can never be happy with one woman either. Edited January 27, 2012 by Negative Nancy
Woggle Posted January 27, 2012 Posted January 27, 2012 I feel the same about women. Never fully give a woman your heart because if you do she will crush it.
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