Cupiddd86 Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 Hey Everyone, I was hoping you could help me understand my own situation a bit more. Quick recap: I was in a LDR for ~2 yours on and off. We broke up 4 times in this period last time being end of November 2011. On her: She's a girl that never really knows what she wants but really does love me a lot. Not the type to play around, just as mentioned a bit clueless on what she wants. Reasons we broke up: - 1st time: she got scared and couldn't handle the distance. (got back together 2 weeks after) - 2nd time: we had a fight, I didn't trust her anymore after the 1st break up which led me to question here whereabouts. - 3rd time: couldn't really call it a break up; we wanted to try but she told me she couldn't give the relationship the time it deserved. - 4th time: after 20 days of trying she came to visit me; I was overjoyed of her being here and I told her she was the most important person in my life (amongst things). When she told me she didn't believe it; I tried to proof it, resulting into a fight and we broke up. She told me I was suffocating her. After this last break up things got a bit weird for me. It feels as if she is leaving me with tons of breadcrumbs. She first deleted me from everything, Facebook, Skype etc while leaving me with a dramatic msg on facebook. (including the song Hurt by Christina Aguilera, which according to her described her feelings perfectly) Now it might be me but.. isn't that song about someone wanting a second chance with the one she loves? Anyways.. a couple of days after being removed/blocked everywhere she suddenly came back online on Skype. She told me she lied, she hadn't deleted me from Skype, we had a talk which included: "She would never want me to stop talking to her". These past 2 months after the break up we have spoken on several occasions and a lot of times they include her wanting to move to the country I live, her dreaming of hoping to wake up in the country I live or her complaining about seeing a lot of people from the country where i'm from. From all the talks after the break I've noticed a couple of things. 1. She's always good/great! At one point she told me she lied and she was in a terrible mood. (I can guess why she does this.) 2. When she's 'good/great' and we are just talking when I ask her why she's good/great the answer is always "Stuff". (not sure why.. but ok!) 3. She keeps mentioning the place where I live or it's inhabitants being it about her moving here, her waking up here or whatnot. I don't really understand why she keeps mentioning the things I mentioned above. In our recent talks it's obvious there is a good atmosphere and there is still a lot of chemistry. At some point when she was asking me "how come you're up so early" and I told her oh "stuff" she didn't seem to like the answer and kept spamming me for the rest of the day. Is she just looking for attention or is it something else? Thanks for reading!
Philosoraptor Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 To me it sounds like she wants to move on but is to scared to take too many steps. Whether it be the distance or something else, she was unhappy with the relationship. But she is scared to cut all ties because you are safe and familiar, the world is scary. Don't allow yourself to be a "just in case". Take pride in yourself and be strong, cut the ties for her. She wanted things to end, so give her the chance to move on just like she asked for by ending the relationship.
Author Cupiddd86 Posted March 6, 2012 Author Posted March 6, 2012 Hi Phil, Thanks for your reply and sorry for my late reply :-) I have been away from LS for some time mostly trying to get back up on my feet and licking my wounds. I'm actually at a pretty 'ok' place now. Things still seem a bit weird to me, considering I do talk to her sometimes but it also feels/seems like she's blocked me on Skype and such. I don't really understand why since she was the one who told me she hoped I would never stop talking to her.. Anyone understand why she would say that and then block me? Kind regards, C..
Philosoraptor Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Why continue to contact her? Work on yourself for now and stop initiating any sort of communication with this woman. The answer is ego. You still tried to make contact and she was the one who took the power back by not responding. Make no effort to contact her anymore.
Author Cupiddd86 Posted March 21, 2012 Author Posted March 21, 2012 Hi Phil, I didn't listen and asked her today if we could talk. We did and she finally gave me an answer. Her feelings changed but I still meant a lot to her and she loves talking to me so she wants to stay friends. After the talk seemed to be relax tone and fun. Some hours later a mutual friend told me she wrote something like on her status: "at least in the past you could tear or burn photos and feel good. How can you enjoy delete?" Suppose thats aimed for me and I won't be hearing from her anymore For some reason I am happy that she gave me an answer but I'm sad she wrote that.. Since I take it it means she wants to feel good about deleting me. Or am I wrong? I do think I can finally close this chapter though I do wonder what that means.. Thanks!
Philosoraptor Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Well you got your answer. It matters not what she means by anything at this point, stop paying attention all together. Just work on yourself and find your path to healing so that you can move on.
robertmathis1026 Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 Well I think that she loves you, she misses you but she is scared that you will make her disappointed. Are you SUFFERING THE PAIN, because your ex DUMP you? Can You imagine, if you can make your ex BEGGING TO BACK WITH YOU? click here to make it HAPPEN!!
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