RecordProducer Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 I know when I am desperate and my self-esteem is on reserve, I start meeting creeps. You sound desperate and at the edge of giving hope. We've all had these phases in our love lives. The guys here will criticize you and get defensive but they too think that women either suck or don't want them. You have to keep your criteria and faith up, no matter what. Love will come to you. You said you're beautiful, smart and funny, so just be patient. When you least expect... Good luck!
smartblonde Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 In response to the OP assertion that she's a catch... You're a catch to someone, just not a catch to everyone. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Lonely Ronin Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 Right now I have two basic deal breakers (aside from the ought to be obvious personality compatibly that can only be determined through interaction). 1) Be local. I don't want to be locked into one of us driving over an hour. and 2) be responsible. If he has kids, he needs to support them and see them regularly. If you have exhausted all your local options, I think you are going to have to let go of #1. Your oldest is young enough that you could move to a larger area before he gets into high school as well, but that's a big decision. And my best work friend set me up with this guy who is unemployed, broke, doesn't see his kid, lives with his dad, texts like a madman, and wont let ME take HIM out because he wants to be the one to pay. You need to have a WTF conversation with your friend, why would he/she think you are ok with this guy? I honestly think that's part of my frustration. I can "see" people who are apparently bad relationship choices getting into relationships. You recognize that they are bad relationship choices, so don't give them a second thought. They got into one, doesn't mean they will stay in one.
El Brujo Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 I don't want to be one of those bitter women with no use for me. Who thinks all men are lowlifes out to use others. Who sees guys are just overgrown children with no redeeming characteristics. But its getting harder and harder not to see them that way. I'm a catch. I'm beautiful, I'm smart and friendly and loyal and generous. I have a quirky sense of humor and I'm willing to try new things and to give almost anyone a chance. I am not overly picky about who I talk to. And yet . . . these guys. They just . . . suck. Unemployed. Don't visit their kids but want to know all about mine. Live with their parents. Are broke, but wont go out with me until they can pay for everything. I hate to be negative or bitter, but maybe its all true. Maybe they really are all shallow, worthless asshats with no redeeming characteristics. I know if I meet many more ignorant, clueless, losers, I am going to just decide to be single for the rest of my life. Have you been taking the initiative and meeting them, or acting like a wallflower and letting them come to you? I'd bet you any money you've been doing the latter. I've never heard of a woman taking the initiative and then meeting nothing but jerks.
Titania22 Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 In 13 short years your youngest will be 18 & you will only be 43 yrs old, why not focus on your kids & building your savings? Worry about serious relationship building later? You know misssmartyparts this guy is right, what will you miss out on waiting until you kids are full grown, only your whole sexual peak.
ascendotum Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 You know misssmartyparts this guy is right, what will you miss out on waiting until you kids are full grown, only your whole sexual peak. :rolleyes:Yeah thats right. It would suck to wait 12 yrs and miss that and to go back onto the market to then complain how the men in their 40s want women in their 30s. I dont exactly think the majority of single women in their mid 40s are doing the 'oh what a feeling' toyota jump over their dating options either.
colliejoanie Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 I feel kind of bad for dredging up past ghosts and regret in this thread. I should never have submitted that first post. Sorry if I caused anybody any painful feelings. I just see so many good guys get passed up, sometimes I try and get women to change their sense of attraction, but... For what it's worth, I apologize. It's worth a lot. Thanks Jobaba.
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