lalalandman Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 Ok expert. Enough of the talk. What would be your course of action?
Author nature Posted January 24, 2012 Author Posted January 24, 2012 SugarKane, thank you. It was an explosive breakup that was fairly mutual. We were engaged and had been for two years. He started partying like a rockstar suddenly and running around with his friends constantly. I said enough, either you're in this or you aren't, but you aren't having your cake and eating it too. He changed so much the last 6 months of our relationship. I suspected cold feet. I said either this relationship is moving forward after nearly 4 years together, or I'm not doing this anymore. I won't be treated disrespectfully by the person who is supposed to love me. He kept partying and blowing me off. So I said "that's it it's over". He begged and said let's just keep dating and there's no rush to get married. I don't want to get married right now. I said, no rush, we've been engaged 2 years and I'm starting to get embarrassed about this whole situation and you're not a kid and I don't need to be treated like the last of importance to you. Huge blow out. I said that's it I'm done. Dark Phoenix, I really don't think you are understanding my situation. He has a girlfriend and has had her for two years. I am not going to chase this guy down. He deliberately flaunts the new girlfriend around me. He is cold as ice to me. Not friendly. I have made every effort to rise above it all and be kind. He has not. He has been rude as anything and cold as ice to me. It's only now that this sudden email came out of the blue. But for the last two years hes been an ass. I have been getting on with my life. He has been rubbing his life in my face, including his girlfriend. What did you want me to do? Act like some crazy ex girlfriend and stalk him for gawd sakes? LIke seriously? lol I've left him alone because he has a girlfriend and obviously moved on. it is he who has been rubbing it in my face and hurting me. I have been trying to move on and live my life. You are not understanding. I will not be some crazy woman with no self respect. I have pride. I will not chase any man down as you are suggesting i should have done the last 2 years.
Sugarkane Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 If it's anyone that defies logic, it's dumpers. Why is this guy stalking and shoving this relationship in Nature's face?
Kamila Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 SugarKane, thank you. It was an explosive breakup that was fairly mutual. We were engaged and had been for two years. He started partying like a rockstar suddenly and running around with his friends constantly. I said enough, either you're in this or you aren't, but you aren't having your cake and eating it too. He changed so much the last 6 months of our relationship. I suspected cold feet. I said either this relationship is moving forward after nearly 4 years together, or I'm not doing this anymore. I won't be treated disrespectfully by the person who is supposed to love me. He kept partying and blowing me off. So I said "that's it it's over". He begged and said let's just keep dating and there's no rush to get married. I don't want to get married right now. I said, no rush, we've been engaged 2 years and I'm starting to get embarrassed about this whole situation and you're not a kid and I don't need to be treated like the last of importance to you. Huge blow out. I said that's it I'm done. Dark Phoenix, I really don't think you are understanding my situation. He has a girlfriend and has had her for two years. I am not going to chase this guy down. He deliberately flaunts the new girlfriend around me. He is cold as ice to me. Not friendly. I have made every effort to rise above it all and be kind. He has not. He has been rude as anything and cold as ice to me. It's only now that this sudden email came out of the blue. But for the last two years hes been an ass. I have been getting on with my life. He has been rubbing his life in my face, including his girlfriend. What did you want me to do? Act like some crazy ex girlfriend and stalk him for gawd sakes? LIke seriously? lol I've left him alone because he has a girlfriend and obviously moved on. it is he who has been rubbing it in my face and hurting me. I have been trying to move on and live my life. You are not understanding. I will not be some crazy woman with no self respect. I have pride. I will not chase any man down as you are suggesting i should have done the last 2 years. Your ex-boyfriend has some serious issues. He didn't digest the fact that you left him because he didn't want to marry you yet. He acted immature and still is. He's just a little boy. And chapeau for you for being so strong and not being the stalking ex-girlfriend. Your ex wants you to react in some way. He wants you to be the submissive, fragile ex that can't live without him. Is your ex an abusive alpha male ? He doesn't take no for an answer ? He can't compromise and wants it all ? Haha, he's in for a long ride. You being so cool about it is probably driving him nuts and he tries to hurt you by flaunting his new girl. Don't react darling, you're much better than that. Even if you love the guy, what good will come from it to have him in your life ? Even a relationship ? Can you trust an immature man ? If you want to give him the final blow, don't respond to his emails anymore. Give him a cookie of the alpha woman.
Author nature Posted January 25, 2012 Author Posted January 25, 2012 Kamila, you pegged it! Yes, he likes things his way. His way or the highway. I'm a strong person tho, so it doesn't work that way for me. It needs to be a relationship built on mutual respect and equality. Everyone said he had met his match when he met me. Perhaps why he fell hard for me. However, as our relationship progressed, he grew more confident so his natural tendencies came out in trying to get me to be the submissive girlfriend/fiance who would sit back and let him do whatever he wanted, and still be waiting in the wings for him. Not good enough for me. Yes, I believe he did want me to be weak andwaiting for him no matter what he did. Sounds awful to say, but I believe that is what he wanted. He is a rather spoiled only child, and has never really grown up yet. You pegged it.
Kamila Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 Merci nature . Reading and analysing your story makes me see much similarities with my own. And I also take a lot of strength of my father's wise words soon after my break-up: "You have to be stronger than him or he could destroy all of your dreams..."
Author nature Posted January 26, 2012 Author Posted January 26, 2012 Kamila, I looked at some of your posts, and yes, it does sound very similar! And I love your dad's words. Wonderful words. My dad always said to me, "don't take any wooden nickels....and....Make a man work hard for you, because that way he'll always treasure you". He's right. He and my mom have been together over 50 years, and he still adores her as tho he just met her!
Author nature Posted January 26, 2012 Author Posted January 26, 2012 I think my dad's words should stand for men too. Men don't take any wooden nickels from women and.......
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