sonrisa Posted January 23, 2012 Posted January 23, 2012 Is he just interested in friendship with you?
carhill Posted January 23, 2012 Posted January 23, 2012 Exception: If he gushes about a new recipe he wants you to try and goes into great detail how he will dress the table and accompany the meal and... he's gay.
Author sonrisa Posted January 23, 2012 Author Posted January 23, 2012 Not in a New York minute... Care to elaborate?
Author sonrisa Posted January 23, 2012 Author Posted January 23, 2012 Exception: If he gushes about a new recipe he wants you to try and goes into great detail how he will dress the table and accompany the meal and... he's gay. Lol no I think he expect me to do everything he just want food, not very complicated it, as long as it tastes good
turt Posted January 23, 2012 Posted January 23, 2012 How well do you know this guy? Seems weird to me!
veggirl Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 Context? I guess it could go either way, but honestly if he was interested in dating, he'd offer to cook for you, not ask you to cook for him! Do you go on actual dates?
misssmartypants Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 If a guy I didn't know well asked me to come to his friend's house and cook, I'd let him know that I charge $500 plus food costs and an hourly rate for private catering parties . . . . .
Author sonrisa Posted January 24, 2012 Author Posted January 24, 2012 No, that's the weird part. I posted a thread 2 months ago about having a crush on a guy who works at my gym, well I'm not crushing hard as I used to, because I have a feeling he's a ladiesman (but that's just my feeling). Anyways we just chitchat sometimes when I arrive or when I leave the gym (about random stuff) and we rode the subway 2 times together (we got to know each other a little on the way) And last time we were just chitchatting as usual, then he was telling me that every weekend he goes to a friend's house with all of his close friends to have dinner and that the food was not super great last time, then out of the blue he asked "so when are you cooking for me?" I thought it was a joke so I said "whenever you want!" But he was actually serious about it since he reminded it to me yesterday. Since I still live at my parents' house obviously I won't invite him to my house (my mother won't allow that) so it will take care at his place I guess, for me I don't care, but as for him why would he invite a girl he barely knows at his place and then at his friends' place ?? It is just so weird I don't know what he's trying to do. His behavior when we're talking doesnt show any seduction attitude that men usually have, he doesn't check me out (at least not when i'm watching him) and he always look at me straight in the eyes . So, something is fishy no?
Emilia Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 Since I still live at my parents' house obviously I won't invite him to my house (my mother won't allow that) so it will take care at his place I guess, for me I don't care, but as for him why would he invite a girl he barely knows at his place and then at his friends' place ?? It is just so weird I don't know what he's trying to do. His behavior when we're talking doesnt show any seduction attitude that men usually have, he doesn't check me out (at least not when i'm watching him) and he always look at me straight in the eyes . So, something is fishy no? You should be very careful with strangers. How old are you? How old is he?
Taramere Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 And last time we were just chitchatting as usual, then he was telling me that every weekend he goes to a friend's house with all of his close friends to have dinner and that the food was not super great last time, then out of the blue he asked "so when are you cooking for me?" I thought it was a joke so I said "whenever you want!" But he was actually serious about it since he reminded it to me yesterday. Since I still live at my parents' house obviously I won't invite him to my house (my mother won't allow that) so it will take care at his place I guess, for me I don't care, but as for him why would he invite a girl he barely knows at his place and then at his friends' place ?? It is just so weird I don't know what he's trying to do. His behavior when we're talking doesnt show any seduction attitude that men usually have, he doesn't check me out (at least not when i'm watching him) and he always look at me straight in the eyes . So, something is fishy no? What is he? Some poor starving orphan who needs customers at the gym to cook for him? Maybe he's trying an "offer a woman the opportunity to do something for me because women love that kind of cockiness" line. Or it could be that he is worried about the gym disciplining him if he asks customers out...and therefore wants to set up a situation where he can tell any tricky bosses "I'm not chasing the female customers at all. She offered to cook for me." Or it could just be that he has a piece of banter for lots of different customers, and this "when are you going to cook for me?" thing will be the particular piece of banter he's going to have with you. Maybe you could wrap any leftovers from your tea into a miniature tinfoil swan, and take it with you next time you go to the gym.
Els Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 Huh, this is so weird. Even if he IS interested in you, that's a horrible way of showing it. Not that I think women shouldn't cook for their bfs at all, but asking a girl whom you haven't even gone out on a date with before, to cook for you? What???
Kamille Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 1. It isn't cleat to me that he is inviting you to his friends' house. Did he come out and say it? Instead, the friends thing sounds like his segway into asking you out, gauchely, very gauchely. 2. If a guy who's never asked me out before asked me when I was going to cook for him, I would take it as a very "cocky" way to ask me out on a date. You say yourself he has a reputation as a womanizer, so this could be a trite power play. If, in spite of that, I liked him, I would have answered something like : "Cook for you? Not before you've shown yourself worthy of one of my delicious home cooked meal." But really, then it all becomes a power play and I hate those. 3. Don't go to his house. Never go to a guy's house for a first date - unless what you want is a friend with benefits arrangement. There's a really really good chance he'll put the moves on you. This guy reeks of "gameplayer" to me and I would be really careful going into a dating relationship with him.
Author sonrisa Posted January 24, 2012 Author Posted January 24, 2012 You should be very careful with strangers. How old are you? How old is he? I'm 22, he is 28.
Author sonrisa Posted January 24, 2012 Author Posted January 24, 2012 What is he? Some poor starving orphan who needs customers at the gym to cook for him? Maybe he's trying an "offer a woman the opportunity to do something for me because women love that kind of cockiness" line. Or it could be that he is worried about the gym disciplining him if he asks customers out...and therefore wants to set up a situation where he can tell any tricky bosses "I'm not chasing the female customers at all. She offered to cook for me." Or it could just be that he has a piece of banter for lots of different customers, and this "when are you going to cook for me?" thing will be the particular piece of banter he's going to have with you. Maybe you could wrap any leftovers from your tea into a miniature tinfoil swan, and take it with you next time you go to the gym. Haha I don't even know, but I do know that employees do not have the right to hit on customers at their work place. And I don't think he meant cooking food as bringing something to him at the gym
Author sonrisa Posted January 24, 2012 Author Posted January 24, 2012 Huh, this is so weird. Even if he IS interested in you, that's a horrible way of showing it. Not that I think women shouldn't cook for their bfs at all, but asking a girl whom you haven't even gone out on a date with before, to cook for you? What??? Honestly I was very surprised when he told me this but yes he's very weird at times
Author sonrisa Posted January 24, 2012 Author Posted January 24, 2012 1. It isn't cleat to me that he is inviting you to his friends' house. Did he come out and say it? Instead, the friends thing sounds like his segway into asking you out, gauchely, very gauchely. 2. If a guy who's never asked me out before asked me when I was going to cook for him, I would take it as a very "cocky" way to ask me out on a date. You say yourself he has a reputation as a womanizer, so this could be a trite power play. If, in spite of that, I liked him, I would have answered something like : "Cook for you? Not before you've shown yourself worthy of one of my delicious home cooked meal." But really, then it all becomes a power play and I hate those. 3. Don't go to his house. Never go to a guy's house for a first date - unless what you want is a friend with benefits arrangement. There's a really really good chance he'll put the moves on you. This guy reeks of "gameplayer" to me and I would be really careful going into a dating relationship with him. Oh the inviting me at his friends place is another story, I was in the subway with him once, his friend called he talked with him for a few seconds, then when he hung up I said kiddingly "I see there's a little party coming along and I'm not invited" then he said "I can take you with me next time if you want" I didn't seriously asked to go but since he talked about it I said why not, after all I never do anything on weekends. The cooking thing came after that, these are two different things, but the thing is I thought we'd first go to his friends' party, because at least we wouldn't be alone and by meeting his close friends and see him interact with them it would give me an idea of what kind of man he is, but it seems like he changed the order and decided that it will be cooking first Maybe I'm too naive but I don't see it as a date, like I said I don't see him acting in a seductive way when talking to me, but when I talked about it to my girl friends they were all like "red flags: this guy wants something" so now Im just confused and want more opinions. Even if I go to his place, I won't let anything sexual happen, I kept my legs closed for 22 years, it is not a player from my gym that will make me do otherwise
ilovedhim Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 You guys are reading way too much into this. Will there be other people at this friend's house? If yes then I wouldn't worry about it. Sounds fun.
Author sonrisa Posted January 24, 2012 Author Posted January 24, 2012 You guys are reading way too much into this. Will there be other people at this friend's house? If yes then I wouldn't worry about it. Sounds fun. There are 2 separated "events" The party dinner thing at his friends' house: yes there will be other people and I agree it sounds like a good plan And the dinner; just the two of us I will be doing the cooking, I only saw this as an innocent friendly dinner until my friends started pointing out that it is just weird of him to invite me at his place, which made me doubt
Els Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 Honestly I was very surprised when he told me this but yes he's very weird at times If you like him, I would teasingly decline and suggest a coffee place instead. If I were you, though, I would not like him.
Kamille Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 Even if I go to his place, I won't let anything sexual happen, I kept my legs closed for 22 years, it is not a player from my gym that will make me do otherwise It's not about wheter or not you let anything sexual happen. It's about the expectations you set up. A guy, especially one described as a potential womanizer, is definitely going to be hoping "he'll get lucky" if you two hang out in a private setting. In fact, the private setting might have been suggested so as to increase the chances of getting lucky. In that context, you lose no matter what you do: you go for it, you're easy. You stop things from going too far, you're, in effect, rejecting him. I speak from years of personal experience when I say: rarely is it a good idea to have a first date in a private setting if you want anything but a short fling or a FWB arrangement. But, then again, you know him better and you know how you two interact. You're best positioned to judge. I'm just chiming in with my experience.
Author sonrisa Posted January 25, 2012 Author Posted January 25, 2012 It's not about wheter or not you let anything sexual happen. It's about the expectations you set up. A guy, especially one described as a potential womanizer, is definitely going to be hoping "he'll get lucky" if you two hang out in a private setting. In fact, the private setting might have been suggested so as to increase the chances of getting lucky. In that context, you lose no matter what you do: you go for it, you're easy. You stop things from going too far, you're, in effect, rejecting him. I speak from years of personal experience when I say: rarely is it a good idea to have a first date in a private setting if you want anything but a short fling or a FWB arrangement. But, then again, you know him better and you know how you two interact. You're best positioned to judge. I'm just chiming in with my experience. I know what you mean and I understand why you say that, if it where with another guy I would have said no right away because you can tell when a man wants you in his bed. I haven't felt that in his case, even when we walked to the subway we were alone and he didn't make a move, I know we weren't exactly in a closed place or whatever but any other guy that would be interested would have tried something but he didn't. I will see though, maybe it is too early to go to his house, I dont know, you guys scared me a little lol.
Author sonrisa Posted January 25, 2012 Author Posted January 25, 2012 If you like him, I would teasingly decline and suggest a coffee place instead. If I were you, though, I would not like him. I'm trying not to like him, but he's just sooo charming it's very hard not to
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