Men's Level of Interest

[sarcrb]

I saw the article by Doc Love on askmen.com about determining a woman's level of interest and found it very interesting. I want to find a similar one for gauging a man's level of interest.

 

After a short stormy period, I noticed my boyfriend has been putting more effort in when he's with me now. He's much more affectionate, hugs, kisses and touches me often. He wants to pay for everything now, has been complimenting me more again and has even been a little more of a gentleman. When he's not with me, however, I noticed that I'm the one that usually initiates the contact, which isn't that often, like once a day or less often twice a day. He replies to texts pretty fast though and always picks up the phone if I call, but it's almost always me that texts or calls first. Initiating dates is about equal.

 

Is it easier to tell a guy's level of interest when you're together or apart?

Edited January 23, 2012 by sarcrb

[carhill]

IMO, one's style of showing interest is independent from their level of interest and it's often difficult to infer the latter from the former, especially wrt 'quality'.

 

When he's not with me, however, I noticed that I'm the one that usually initiates the contact, which isn't that often, like once a day or less often twice a day. He replies to texts pretty fast though and always picks up the phone if I call, but it's almost always me that texts or calls first. Initiating dates is about equal.

Since he initiates dates 'about equally' and is attentive and affectionate and I presume proactively interested in you when you are together, this may be his 'style'. You can observe how he interacts with loved ones for more clues.

 

If you wish to communicate with him about this, ask him what you want and make suggestions.

 

Example (not advice): 'I love hearing the sound of your voice when I get off work after a long day. Could you try calling me, even if it's just for a moment? How do you feel about that?'

[xpaperxcutx]

You wouldn't happen to have a link would you?

 

I have a theory, that sometimes life and personal affairs get in the way of interests, especially for people in the beginning stages of dating. I've been guilty of lackluster contact with people I just met; but of the time it's because I'm not really interested in them as I thought I'd be.

 

I notice I'm in contact with my friends all the time- especially my bff, we can talk from sunup to sundown, and usually ending with no goodbye or ttyl. I realize I'm more comfortable with my friends this way because there really is no expectation from both ends to respond or initiate, everything just comes naturally.

 

My other theory is that if an SO only ever treats you better when you guys are together, it means they're overcompensating. I've had guys who would go to the ends of the world for me on a date- pay for dinner, take me out, etc.. But when there's no face time, they completely disappear off the ends of the world.

[FitChick]

From my own experience: if a guy calls, emails, spends time with you, he is interested. If he doesn't, he isn't.

[sarcrb]

You can observe how he interacts with loved ones for more clues.'

 

He's actually about the same with his friends and family. He usually only initiates contact with them when he hasn't seen or talked to them in a long time and they happen to cross his mind or something. We've been together almost a year now but he was initiating phone contact more during the first few months, then it started to taper off even though we still hung out everyday. We recently went through a short stormy period but since we got over that I noticed that he's put more effort in when we're in person, except for the contact thing. Maybe I'm just wanting it to be like it was in the beginning or is it really his interest level?

[sarcrb]

You wouldn't happen to have a link would you?

 

http://www.askmen.com/dating/doclove/23_doc_love.html