LK30 Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Well since I wrote my original thread about meeting a girl who is youth worker at another youth centre I updated it by saying I added this 21 year old girl on FB as she was really pretty, and then I found out she had a bf. Despite this we carried on chatting and I met up with her once or twice. I was always surprised her bf was so lenient about us meeting and there was clearly some chemistry between us. Last week to my surprise she messaged me to say he and her bf had split up! It was him that ended it and she was adamant it wasn't due to me, but he said he felt they were drifting apart for ages and he fell out of love with her. I suppose that explains why he was so relaxed about her meeting up with me for drinks, and walks etc! Things were so much easier when they were together and I felt a bit gutted they'd split up. The other weird thing is I do have feelings for her but realistically a lot of it is just fantasy and we've exchanged about 10,000 FB messages in about 2 months just talking randomly! In the long run she wants to move to the other end of the country but I'm happy here. At the end of the day we got on well but we have quite different interests. She told me today due to the circumstances she's moving back to London (about 2 hours away) in March as she needs to get out of the flat she shared with her bf. I'm really cut up coz we've had some great times together and it strangely feels like we've split up with each other even though we weren't in a relationship!! It'll be hard to say goodbye, but I'm really upset and not sure what to think or do. Can someone please help?
KathyM Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 IMO, if she's determined to move to London, then just let her go. Alternatively, if you are really interested in this woman, you could suggest she consider moving to someplace closeby, since you would really like to get to know her better, now that her bf is out of the picture. So letting your feelings be known is probably the best course. Then if she moves to London regardless, you will have your answer. Drop it at that point. It shows she's not interested enough in you if she's moving that far away.
Feelin Frisky Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 I don't know you two but if it were me and I really felt something for her this would be one of those things I would regret forever if I didn't have at least some big romantic moment with her whether it's right or wrong, makes sense or not. If you think she wants you to make some move, pick a moment, maybe as she's walking away, tell her to wait, take her hand and pull a little to see if she'll move in. If she does, kiss her like it's the last day on Earth.
Author LK30 Posted January 23, 2012 Author Posted January 23, 2012 (edited) Thanks for your replies guys. I guess it's always hard to explain things properly in words as I wish you could have all been here to see what was going! The bizarre thing is she's quite a bit younger, and is really quite different to me. She's not very decisive, she likes heavy metal and rock music (which I don't), and she wants to go and buy a farm lol! In the short term it's been fun but not sure in the long term we'd be able to sustain a relationship. Perhaps you're right, she is waiting for me to make a move and is gutted that I haven't, but even she has said 'I'm in a mess on the inside and I need to get away from here as I'm still in love with him.' I suppose it's weird for her suddenly being isolated as her 'rock' has left and she's in a flat alone 2 hours from her family. The other strange thing is she doesn't really have any female friends here so I'm pretty much the last person who can support her through this in this area, and I'm encouraging her to stay to get through her work placement which ends in March. Perhaps she'll be ok in a month or two as it's all a bit raw, but surely she couldn't have been that happy with him if she found herself attracted to me, and she said she didn't see much of him and they never did stuff like walks on beach, restaurants etc. I'm even thinking I should maybe just be her friend to not complicate things as she did seem to hint at some 'benefits' but I'm not sure that's right. I admit I have slept with her once a few weeks ago after they'd split up. Edited January 23, 2012 by LK30
Recommended Posts