here4her Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Here's the story.. About 6 months ago I started talking to someone I met on a online dating site. We emailed for a while, and I liked everything about her, except she had a guy room mate. After a month or so I decided to meet her and see what happens. I liked her a lot but wasn't really feeling to swell about the room mate situation and backed off. It took another 3, maybe 4, 5 weeks before I could just accept it and start trying to talk to her again. A couple weeks pass and I mention my kids (which not only was on my profile online, but Im sure I mentioned it in the past) Apparently she forgot I had kids, and that didn't go well. It took weeks to get past that, but still part of me believes we will never overcome that, and its not something I can change. She already admitted her family would not accept me due to this, yet still I keep trying. Recently we got into the topic of dating other people, I don't agree in dating other people, She said she wasn't but If I wanted to that was ok. A week later I didn't hear from her in a couple days (which never happened before). Something told me to check online to see if she has a account again.. She did, and even worse it said she was online at the time. I read her profile, all her pics were very recent. I decided to just let it go, let her know how I felt and move on. She told me her sister made it and knows everything about her which is why her profile sounded like something she would say. I wanna believe her, but someone is on that profile every day, and I'm sure if she didn't want it she would just delete it. I really like her, we've been talking for months now. I tried to talk about moving forward with something, but she won't cause "she doesn't trust me" (due to the kids situation). I'm not even sure I trust her anymore..
TaraMaiden Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 ..Could I ask.... ...why are you even bothering to pose the question....?
ditzchic Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 I see no reason to continue. It seems like you both know this is doomed and netiher of you seem to be that into the other one. You don't want her and she doesn't want you so why do you even care? Just go.
Author here4her Posted January 24, 2012 Author Posted January 24, 2012 It seems so simple.. The thing is I am into her, i like her. I forgot to mention the male room mate is now gone, I have no issues other then you can find her on a online dating site (which I did mention to her, and her reply was her sister put it up, and put all the pics up). I just don't see why her sister would be on it everyday. We do get together maybe once a week, and the times we are together everything seems perfect! I don't want to rush into anything, but I also know she's worth not dating other people for. I did try to just end it a about a week ago, which is when she said "I really like you, and admire everything about you, but if you feel you need to move on I can't stop you" I thought maybe I was making the wrong decision, and ended up here asking for other opinions.
maysj18 Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 Because you have kids she doesnt trust you? Why? She sounds flakey. Move on. (And yes, you can do it)
Author here4her Posted January 28, 2012 Author Posted January 28, 2012 Thanks for the replies!! I can walk away, but I just don't know if its the right thing to do. I tried to before and It made me depressed, but it also made her cry. She recently said If I found someone better to move on, and she understands peoples have needs so Its ok If I date other people (RED FLAGS) Is it possible to like someone, yet say these things? I've always believed if you like someone you wouldn't be so quick to say those kinda things. I know she's been through a lot in her life with previous relationships, and maybe she has no confidence from that, But I feel like I'm worthless when she says those things. I've been through a lot too, and I'm scared maybe my past has effed me up in the head and maybe I'm looking into things a little to deep. Actions speak louder then words.. I always wanna be around her, I'll go places and see things that I know she will like and wanna buy them (I know I can't with these doubt's so I don't) but I don't feel she's in the same boat.. I'm not sure whats right or wrong...
FitChick Posted January 28, 2012 Posted January 28, 2012 You can like someone but that doesn't mean the relationship will work out or even go anywhere. Move on.
Ninjainpajamas Posted January 28, 2012 Posted January 28, 2012 If it were me I'd not waste my time, even If I was really into the person. If a woman was into you she's going to be into you plain and simple, just like a man would be. So If she's not then there's no "winning her over" phase for me, that's just not something I do...it's either there or not. I don't think she's investing much into you right now but just riding it out till it's over, she probably doesn't want to just ditch you because she knows how you feel. And I don't know if you want to be "that guy" that doesn't take a hint. I think If she was into you she would have just done it anyway, because that's what most women do anyway If they're really into you
Author here4her Posted February 1, 2012 Author Posted February 1, 2012 The thing is she's starting to seem a little different, She invites me over for dinner or just a movie night 1-2 times a week. She recently invited me out with her and some of her friends. I think she deleted her "online profile". Just things seem to be going really slow, There doesn't seem to be that passion you normally experience during new relationships.
veggirl Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 Does she say she trusts you now? Do you trust her now? Have any of the original issues actually been resolved? Keep her around and continue dating her if you'd like, but I think you'd be making a mistake to put your focus solely on her. The foundation of this "relationship" is rocky at best. I'd pursue other options...
ShannonMI Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 Here's the story.. About 6 months ago I started talking to someone I met on a online dating site. We emailed for a while, and I liked everything about her, except she had a guy room mate. After a month or so I decided to meet her and see what happens. I liked her a lot but wasn't really feeling to swell about the room mate situation and backed off. It took another 3, maybe 4, 5 weeks before I could just accept it and start trying to talk to her again. A couple weeks pass and I mention my kids (which not only was on my profile online, but Im sure I mentioned it in the past) Apparently she forgot I had kids, and that didn't go well. It took weeks to get past that, but still part of me believes we will never overcome that, and its not something I can change. She already admitted her family would not accept me due to this, yet still I keep trying. Recently we got into the topic of dating other people, I don't agree in dating other people, She said she wasn't but If I wanted to that was ok. A week later I didn't hear from her in a couple days (which never happened before). Something told me to check online to see if she has a account again.. She did, and even worse it said she was online at the time. I read her profile, all her pics were very recent. I decided to just let it go, let her know how I felt and move on. She told me her sister made it and knows everything about her which is why her profile sounded like something she would say. I wanna believe her, but someone is on that profile every day, and I'm sure if she didn't want it she would just delete it. I really like her, we've been talking for months now. I tried to talk about moving forward with something, but she won't cause "she doesn't trust me" (due to the kids situation). I'm not even sure I trust her anymore.. Go is all i can stay. This girl is an ass. She doesn't trust you because she thought you were secretive about your children? Can't she read? It stated on your profile that you had kids. She's a moron. The kid situation will never go away. Your children are in your life forever and if she isn't cool with that then move on. I also don't buy that her sister is the one that made the profile for her. She's being shady about that. NEXT!!!
Author here4her Posted February 4, 2012 Author Posted February 4, 2012 She's been inviting me over a lot more lately, but still says I scare her. The past two nights I was with her I noticed her phone would light up as if someone was calling or texting and she quickly hit the screen which made it go black again (seemed a little shady) But who knows who was contacting her. I texted her a couple times yesterday and she just went MIA (which makes me wonder if shes with someone else and just ignoring me) We been talking/seeing each other for a while now, and I just don't feel any kinda passion from her. We have kissed, but 99% of the time its just like a peck. We've slept together dozens of times, but never have had any form of intimacy. I could be wrong but I just think if she liked me she'd show some form of passion by now.
ShannonMI Posted February 4, 2012 Posted February 4, 2012 She's been inviting me over a lot more lately, but still says I scare her. The past two nights I was with her I noticed her phone would light up as if someone was calling or texting and she quickly hit the screen which made it go black again (seemed a little shady) But who knows who was contacting her. I texted her a couple times yesterday and she just went MIA (which makes me wonder if shes with someone else and just ignoring me) We been talking/seeing each other for a while now, and I just don't feel any kinda passion from her. We have kissed, but 99% of the time its just like a peck. We've slept together dozens of times, but never have had any form of intimacy. I could be wrong but I just think if she liked me she'd show some form of passion by now. How are you "scaring" her? I think you need to let this girl go. She's shady and doesn't except you having kids. The kid thing should be a no brainer that this girl is not the one for you. And if there is no passion, what's the point? Onward and upward buddy.
veggirl Posted February 4, 2012 Posted February 4, 2012 We been talking/seeing each other for a while now, and I just don't feel any kinda passion from her. We have kissed, but 99% of the time its just like a peck. We've slept together dozens of times, but never have had any form of intimacy. I could be wrong but I just think if she liked me she'd show some form of passion by now. How do you scare her? That's a lame cop-out. She just isn't interested. You are correct you would definitely be feeling reciprocated passion and butterflies and comfort by now. I'd go NC. Why are you wasting your time? Is this how you envision love beginning? It shouldn't be so hard...
Author here4her Posted February 9, 2012 Author Posted February 9, 2012 k so here we go with some more info We always have these plans to do things but never time. She had off Friday I offered to take off work so we can spend the day together just doing one of our fun plans. She declined and said she had things to do. Friday evening she goes MIA (wouldn't respond to texts) Saturday morning she responds to my texts and says she went out and forgot her phone. Then saturday afternoon goes MIA again. Sunday she calls and tells me she had a friends/family party at her house and "They make her put her phone away, when shes out with them" She then says shes sorry and all for not responding, then a little deeper into talk says "shes not emotionally available, because every time she commits to someone they break it off 3 months later" and then says "wanna come over tonight?" I say Ill just call you back later, and didnt go over. Monday I find out she was at the bar with her bff who happens to be her sisters husbands brother (whom I know is in love with her) Also should mention she doesnt know I know this... anyway she asks me to come over monday night, I didn't respond she responded o.k guess not nevermind.. Tuesday she ask's me again to come over, I went over I kinda felt wrong she didnt hug me right away but shes sick so maybe thats why. We almost immediately went to bed (no we do not have sex) next morning she asked if something was wrong I said no, we shared maybe 2-3 texts and that was it. She texted me this morning I responded with one word, just to not leave her hanging. I do care about this girl, but Im pretty sure Im just wrong for her because I have kids and she and or her family wont accept that. I wanna tell her that and just let go. Is that wrong? should I just stay to myself, and not look like a headcase?
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