Curious-One Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Knew this girl for about a year, love her personality but i have no attraction for her. We studied / took couple classes together and she kept inviting me to hangout but i never did alone. Everytime we hungout i took a friend or something. She showed signs that she is interested in me but i always igored it. I didnt talk to her for about a year and then i randomly bump into her at school. When i bumped into her she was looking descant and we started talking. Ended up talking for like 45 mins because our personalities just click. So i told her ill call her and we will hangout. Called her up and told her lets do something Sat night. Plan was to atleast kiss her but once i saw her again there was no attraction at all and right away i realized i was not gonna be able to kiss her. Talked for like 1.5 hrs and went to the movies overall had fun but just wasnt attracted to her. I felt bad and got us drinks. She kept putting on lipstick and freshening up and i kept feeling so bad for her. In the car i pretty much friendzoned her and said i am not looking for a gf and she agreed too ofcourse but i feel like i hurt her. I feel horrible...because she is such a great girl and i lead her on just to friend zone her. Anyone ever try this??? how did it end ?? Only reason i tried it was because some people said that in the bigenning they were not attracted to theif gf/wifes but it worked. I personally am never trying this again. (CLIFFS) -Know a girl from college with great personality but not attractive for two years -Never went on a date w her but hungout w a group of people -She would invite me to hangout but i always declined. -Didnt talk to her for a year or so -Randomly bump into her in college and end up talking 45 mins -End up going out tonight with her with intention to kiss her -Had good time but no attraction again not able to kiss her even though she kept giving me signals -Felt super bad for her the whole time like i am leading her on -Friendzoned her in the car and said i am not looking for gf -FEEL LIKE **** FOR HER BECAUSE SHE IS REALLY A GREAT PERSON.
jobaba Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Knew this girl for about a year, love her personality but i have no attraction for her. We studied / took couple classes together and she kept inviting me to hangout but i never did alone. Everytime we hungout i took a friend or something. She showed signs that she is interested in me but i always igored it. I didnt talk to her for about a year and then i randomly bump into her at school. When i bumped into her she was looking descant and we started talking. Ended up talking for like 45 mins because our personalities just click. So i told her ill call her and we will hangout. Called her up and told her lets do something Sat night. Plan was to atleast kiss her but once i saw her again there was no attraction at all and right away i realized i was not gonna be able to kiss her. Talked for like 1.5 hrs and went to the movies overall had fun but just wasnt attracted to her. I felt bad and got us drinks. She kept putting on lipstick and freshening up and i kept feeling so bad for her. In the car i pretty much friendzoned her and said i am not looking for a gf and she agreed too ofcourse but i feel like i hurt her. I feel horrible...because she is such a great girl and i lead her on just to friend zone her. Anyone ever try this??? how did it end ?? Only reason i tried it was because some people said that in the bigenning they were not attracted to theif gf/wifes but it worked. I personally am never trying this again. (CLIFFS) -Know a girl from college with great personality but not attractive for two years -Never went on a date w her but hungout w a group of people -She would invite me to hangout but i always declined. -Didnt talk to her for a year or so -Randomly bump into her in college and end up talking 45 mins -End up going out tonight with her with intention to kiss her -Had good time but no attraction again not able to kiss her even though she kept giving me signals -Felt super bad for her the whole time like i am leading her on -Friendzoned her in the car and said i am not looking for gf -FEEL LIKE **** FOR HER BECAUSE SHE IS REALLY A GREAT PERSON. You said when you saw her on campus she looked decent. So that means you have been attracted to her... People I have dated who I usually think are attractive have looked unattractive to me on occasion. Sometimes we're having dinner and I think they look funny. Sometimes we're driving in the car and I think her hair looks like crap. Sometimes when we're in bed I notice how bad her skin is. Then, the next day, she could look hot as all h@ll... Attraction to me is not a yes/no proposition. Also, I have never friendzoned anybody who was an awesome, nice person (or anybody at all for that matter), but if I did, I'd probably feel terrible. At least you have a conscience.
cerridwen Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 I've done this. I gave it the old college try because he was extremely funny and smart. Couldn't kiss him on our date, even though I tried to get enthused about the idea during drinks. When I ran into him days later, I was nice but cool so as not to lead him on. He felt rejected and got hostile. I got annoyed. Our co-workers got some laughs from the whole thing. The end. Forgive yourself, OP. Incompatibility, a misfire, isn't a crime, and you're not a monster. Hits and misses = Dating game!
Dust Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 How can you run into her on campus and be attracted only to see her later and be grossed out? No I wouldn't try to date someone w great personality but no attraction. Thats stupid. If you're attracted the great personality only adds to that. If you don't feel anything who cares if they are funny or smart... doesn't mean I'll want to date them. I just don't get how you can be attracted enough to ask a girl out and then sudenly get grossed out. Sounds kind of gay. Like was she wearing a lot of clothes and looking good... but then showed up on the date showing skin and it grossed you out. Because for me girls only look better the more naked they get.
jobaba Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 I've done this. I gave it the old college try because he was extremely funny and smart. Couldn't kiss him on our date, even though I tried to get enthused about the idea during drinks. When I ran into him days later, I was nice but cool so as not to lead him on. He felt rejected and got hostile. I got annoyed. Our co-workers got some laughs from the whole thing. The end. Forgive yourself, OP. Incompatibility, a misfire, isn't a crime, and you're not a monster. Hits and misses = Dating game! Yup. I joked around about a co-worker getting rejected by a woman too. Then months later, I fell for the same woman. It's always funny until it happens to you.
Star Gazer Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 How can you run into her on campus and be attracted only to see her later and be grossed out? I once met a man who I found attractive, and agreed to a date. I met him at a restaurant, and still found him attractive. However, as he walked me to my car, under the glaring street lights above, he became... very not so attractive.
Star Gazer Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Sounds kind of gay. Using the word "gay" to describe something you find "stupid" or "lame" is offensive. Use better words, please.
Dust Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 I once met a man who I found attractive, and agreed to a date. I met him at a restaurant, and still found him attractive. However, as he walked me to my car, under the glaring street lights above, he became... very not so attractive. Hahaha Over head lighting makes every one look like sht. Bottom line the OP is a man. I coud easily see your story happening... not the OP's
Dust Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Using the word "gay" to describe something you find "stupid" or "lame" is offensive. Use better words, please. How dare you of all people go PC on me! You knew damn well what I meant so try not to act so offended.
Author Curious-One Posted January 22, 2012 Author Posted January 22, 2012 How can you run into her on campus and be attracted only to see her later and be grossed out? No I wouldn't try to date someone w great personality but no attraction. Thats stupid. If you're attracted the great personality only adds to that. If you don't feel anything who cares if they are funny or smart... doesn't mean I'll want to date them. I just don't get how you can be attracted enough to ask a girl out and then sudenly get grossed out. Sounds kind of gay. Like was she wearing a lot of clothes and looking good... but then showed up on the date showing skin and it grossed you out. Because for me girls only look better the more naked they get. Yah kinda like that, when i saw her at college she had a coat on no glasses and he hair looked nice. She didnt look hot but i felt like ok she looking better On the date she had a shirt on and it showed that she was on heavy side, her hair didnt look as good and she had glasses on. It just when i looked at her i felt nothing no attraction what so ever. Honestly i feel like if she got naked i wasnt gonna be able to get it up. I FEEL LIKE **** NOW , this girl has the coolest personality ever, i want to like her but no matter how hard i try i cant. I feel bad because she has such great personality and doesnt deserve me hurting her feelings. I should have never even tried to date her. ERRRRRRRRRRR
cerridwen Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Yup. I joked around about a co-worker getting rejected by a woman too. Then months later, I fell for the same woman. It's always funny until it happens to you. It was so awkward, continuing to run into him at work. At least every time I did, there were no regrets about not kissing him.
somedude81 Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 At least you were willing to give her a real shot. You tried to see if things happened and they just didn't. Don't feel bad. I will never ever forget the date or the girl where apparently she was feeling uneasy about our date so she invited a guy friend at the very last second. That's a perfect example of somebody who was not willing to give the other person a chance. Worst date in my entire life. Though I'm sure it will get topped eventually.
Dust Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Yah kinda like that, when i saw her at college she had a coat on no glasses and he hair looked nice. She didnt look hot but i felt like ok she looking better On the date she had a shirt on and it showed that she was on heavy side, her hair didnt look as good and she had glasses on. It just when i looked at her i felt nothing no attraction what so ever. Honestly i feel like if she got naked i wasnt gonna be able to get it up. I FEEL LIKE **** NOW , this girl has the coolest personality ever, i want to like her but no matter how hard i try i cant. I feel bad because she has such great personality and doesnt deserve me hurting her feelings. I should have never even tried to date her. ERRRRRRRRRRR I like crazy girls. But they have to be crazy attractive. As in no matter how crazy the cat lady is I'm not going to be attracted. Attraction is the key. Don't feel guilty about not being attracted to some one. Feel good about. You're turning her down! You wasted her time, and gave her a thrill haha. I bet you even paid for her dinner. A girl with glasses on would only turn me on. As far as the coat you need to develop your sex sense. I can see a girl in a snow suit and know if shes hot! Well now you know! I think you're going out with girls that you're not that into. You should only date girls you're 100% attracted too! You can't date some unattractive girl and have her win you over with her wit and charm... I mean you're not a woman... you're a man! So really the only thing she had going for her is the clear signs of interest she had for you. I mean an interested girl is an attractive thing... but some times not enough.
Star Gazer Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Hahaha Over head lighting makes every one look like sht. Bottom line the OP is a man. I coud easily see your story happening... not the OP's We walked out of the restaurant, and towards where our cars were parked, walking side by side. When I turned to look at him, I think I may have actually made a face and shuddered! Whops.
Dust Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 At least you were willing to give her a real shot. You tried to see if things happened and they just didn't. Don't feel bad. I will never ever forget the date or the girl where apparently she was feeling uneasy about our date so she invited a guy friend at the very last second. That's a perfect example of somebody who was not willing to give the other person a chance. Worst date in my entire life. Though I'm sure it will get topped eventually. Blame yourself for going on that date. So did everyone pay for their own meal. Did you do two checks on for you two and one for him... Or did you pay for all 3 of you. Did you get blind sided. If she told you ahead of time she was bringing the guy you should have been like "no!" I would have told the guy to take a hike. I want some alone time with your "friend."
Phateless Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Knew this girl for about a year, love her personality but i have no attraction for her. We studied / took couple classes together and she kept inviting me to hangout but i never did alone. Everytime we hungout i took a friend or something. She showed signs that she is interested in me but i always igored it. I didnt talk to her for about a year and then i randomly bump into her at school. When i bumped into her she was looking descant and we started talking. Ended up talking for like 45 mins because our personalities just click. So i told her ill call her and we will hangout. Called her up and told her lets do something Sat night. Plan was to atleast kiss her but once i saw her again there was no attraction at all and right away i realized i was not gonna be able to kiss her. Talked for like 1.5 hrs and went to the movies overall had fun but just wasnt attracted to her. I felt bad and got us drinks. She kept putting on lipstick and freshening up and i kept feeling so bad for her. In the car i pretty much friendzoned her and said i am not looking for a gf and she agreed too ofcourse but i feel like i hurt her. I feel horrible...because she is such a great girl and i lead her on just to friend zone her. Anyone ever try this??? how did it end ?? Only reason i tried it was because some people said that in the bigenning they were not attracted to theif gf/wifes but it worked. I personally am never trying this again. (CLIFFS) -Know a girl from college with great personality but not attractive for two years -Never went on a date w her but hungout w a group of people -She would invite me to hangout but i always declined. -Didnt talk to her for a year or so -Randomly bump into her in college and end up talking 45 mins -End up going out tonight with her with intention to kiss her -Had good time but no attraction again not able to kiss her even though she kept giving me signals -Felt super bad for her the whole time like i am leading her on -Friendzoned her in the car and said i am not looking for gf -FEEL LIKE **** FOR HER BECAUSE SHE IS REALLY A GREAT PERSON. You did the right thing. You gave it an honest try and discovered that you were right on with what you already knew. You can't force it.
Author Curious-One Posted January 22, 2012 Author Posted January 22, 2012 I like crazy girls. But they have to be crazy attractive. As in no matter how crazy the cat lady is I'm not going to be attracted. Attraction is the key. Don't feel guilty about not being attracted to some one. Feel good about. You're turning her down! You wasted her time, and gave her a thrill haha. I bet you even paid for her dinner. A girl with glasses on would only turn me on. As far as the coat you need to develop your sex sense. I can see a girl in a snow suit and know if shes hot! Well now you know! I think you're going out with girls that you're not that into. You should only date girls you're 100% attracted too! You can't date some unattractive girl and have her win you over with her wit and charm... I mean you're not a woman... you're a man! So really the only thing she had going for her is the clear signs of interest she had for you. I mean an interested girl is an attractive thing... but some times not enough. Dood she paid for both movie tickets... when i offered to pay for her. She literally tricked me and payed for it We went to starbucks and she paid for her coffee, i only wanted water. Again absolutely refused to have me pay. She told me i can get her next time. Well this was my first time trying to date a girl i am not attracted to her. I had some people tell me that initially they were not attracted to their gf/wife ( had few people tell me that) . If you think about it logically personality is the most important thing because when your wife gets older she will not look as hot but her personality will still be there. Thats why decided to give it a chance and i felt i just crushed her.
somedude81 Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Blame yourself for going on that date. So did everyone pay for their own meal. Did you do two checks on for you two and one for him... Or did you pay for all 3 of you. Did you get blind sided. If she told you ahead of time she was bringing the guy you should have been like "no!" I would have told the guy to take a hike. I want some alone time with your "friend." I was going to pick her up at her house and take her bowling. Show up, give her a hug (and yes it's her that I always spoke about) she asks me if I want to play some videogames first then we can walk to the bowling alley which was about a 10 minute walk. When I arrive her brother and her guy friend are there playing games. She introduces me to them and we play for a bit. When I tell her that I want to head to the bowling alley, she invites her friend. That's where I screwed up and allowed him to come. But I was too inexperienced/weak and liked her too much to pull her aside and tell her that he's not coming or I'm going home. He didn't bowl but for the next couple hours it was me and them. The three of us pitched in for pizza, which we ate at her house, but no I didn't pay for any of his stuff. When I think it's time to leave, she walks me out, gives me a hug and asks if I had fun..... The next day I saw her at school she told me that she knew I wanted a date, and before I asked her why she went along with it anyways, and invited her friend, she told me something like, "Sorry if you want a girlfriend, I don't want to date anybody." Almost two years later and I still haven't forgiven her. I probably never will now that she's got a few more things on that list that I won't forgive her for either.
Dust Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 If you think about it logically personality is the most important thing because when your wife gets older she will not look as hot but her personality will still be there. Thats why decided to give it a chance and i felt i just crushed her. You can't be so logical. The laws of attraction don't follow that. When your wife gets older one of the keys to still being attracted is to hold onto that deep feeling of attraction you had for her in the begining. You use that as a starting point my friend. Also history adds richness to any relationship... as long as you don't become anoyed of eachother to the point of hatred... Don't worry about crushing her. She'll be olright. Now some guy who is attracted to her will get her.
Dust Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 I was going to pick her up at her house and take her bowling. Show up, give her a hug (and yes it's her that I always spoke about) she asks me if I want to play some videogames first then we can walk to the bowling alley which was about a 10 minute walk. When I arrive her brother and her guy friend are there playing games. She introduces me to them and we play for a bit. When I tell her that I want to head to the bowling alley, she invites her friend. You need to cool it with the hugs. You treat it like its first base. Bottom line the guy is probably a pussy. If you had said "nah just the two of us" for the both of them to hear he probably would have been "yeah just you two go" and she would have got wet. That's where I screwed up and allowed him to come. But I was too inexperienced/weak and liked her too much to pull her aside and tell her that he's not coming or I'm going home. He didn't bowl but for the next couple hours it was me and them. The three of us pitched in for pizza' date=' which we ate at her house, but no I didn't pay for any of his stuff. When I think it's time to leave, she walks me out, gives me a hug and asks if I had fun..... [/quote'] Are you kidding me. You wern't too inexperienced or weak. You knew exactly what was going on. It's like you want me to believe you have an out of body experience every time you leave the house. Liking her too much is exactly the reason you shouldn't have continued with your farce to apease her every wish. Girls like a guy not afraid to challenge them. You would have scored major points by telling her and the guy this was a chance to get to know her alone just the two of you. If you ever had a chance this would have only helped you. But I'm telling you the obvious you already knew it was bad news he was comming. When she asked if you had fun and was giving you the big hug you should have kissed her! The next day I saw her at school she told me that she knew I wanted a date, and before I asked her why she went along with it anyways, and invited her friend, she told me something like, "Sorry if you want a girlfriend, I don't want to date anybody." Almost two years later and I still haven't forgiven her. I probably never will now that she's got a few more things on that list that I won't forgive her for either. Get over it. She's just some girl. You sond insane when you write stuff like "Almsot two years and I stil haven't forgvien her. probably never will, few more things on that list that I won't forgive..." hahah You're driving yourself mad in the bad way. I need you to go mad in the good way. Stop caring... just stop caring. Give Cer her number and she'll prank her for you.
krz12 Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 We walked out of the restaurant, and towards where our cars were parked, walking side by side. When I turned to look at him, I think I may have actually made a face and shuddered! Whops. What was wrong with him?
Dust Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 What was wrong with him? He was just too ugly for her.
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