louise_23 Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 right. why is everyone in a relationship but me?? if me and my single friends go out, i seem to be targeted by one night stand losers, even though i probably wear the most clothes out of all of us and dont really dance. the ex is sniffing around but thats like flogging a dead horse to be honest, considering he cheated on me during the relationship. thats not what i want. so come on? how do i reach date stage? what am i doing wrong? the only person ive properly gone on actual dates with turned around to me and said "its the 3rd date, you shouldve slept with me by now" - obviously ended it there and then. i mean, jesus. whats the secret guys and girls? what am i actually doing wrong? sleep with someone when you first meet them - youre in the wrong. hold off and dont sleep with them - youre wrong. what are you supposed to do???????????????????
USMCHokie Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 right. why is everyone in a relationship but me?? Everyone isn't. if me and my single friends go out, i seem to be targeted by one night stand losers, even though i probably wear the most clothes out of all of us and dont really dance. Well, of course you are targeted by guys who just want a one-night stand...look at the locale...guys aren't necessarily prowling for a relationship at the bars or clubs...so it doesn't matter what you're wearing, you'll be hit on for quick and easy sex...not the greatest place to find a relationship...just have a good time with your friends! i mean, jesus. whats the secret guys and girls? what am i actually doing wrong? sleep with someone when you first meet them - youre in the wrong. hold off and dont sleep with them - youre wrong. what are you supposed to do??????????????????? You're not necessarily doing anything wrong. Stop meeting guys in bars and clubs. Meet them outside of "normal" social environments. Meet them through your friends. Meet them in meetup groups and intramural sports. I could go on and on. Hell, even give online dating a try. The reason sex is such a big player in all your dating ventures is because of the men you meet and where you meet them...
Author louise_23 Posted January 21, 2012 Author Posted January 21, 2012 Everyone isn't. Well, of course you are targeted by guys who just want a one-night stand...look at the locale...guys aren't necessarily prowling for a relationship at the bars or clubs...so it doesn't matter what you're wearing, you'll be hit on for quick and easy sex...not the greatest place to find a relationship...just have a good time with your friends! You're not necessarily doing anything wrong. Stop meeting guys in bars and clubs. Meet them outside of "normal" social environments. Meet them through your friends. Meet them in meetup groups and intramural sports. I could go on and on. Hell, even give online dating a try. The reason sex is such a big player in all your dating ventures is because of the men you meet and where you meet them... i get what you're saying. but take the guy i went on dates with. i met him through friends, and had actually known him for quite some time. not incredibly well but we hung out occasionally. and ive had derogatory comments from another friend of a friend. people just seem to be under the illusion im easy, but i dress fairly conservatively and i dont flirt. i still get these creeps. there must be something im missing.
USMCHokie Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 i get what you're saying. but take the guy i went on dates with. i met him through friends, and had actually known him for quite some time. not incredibly well but we hung out occasionally. and ive had derogatory comments from another friend of a friend. people just seem to be under the illusion im easy, but i dress fairly conservatively and i dont flirt. i still get these creeps. there must be something im missing. Then why do you give the creeps attention...? Your people picker probably needs a little tweaking... Are these guys really good looking...?
Shaun-Dro Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 right. why is everyone in a relationship but me?? if me and my single friends go out, i seem to be targeted by one night stand losers, even though i probably wear the most clothes out of all of us and dont really dance. the ex is sniffing around but thats like flogging a dead horse to be honest, considering he cheated on me during the relationship. thats not what i want. so come on? how do i reach date stage? what am i doing wrong? the only person ive properly gone on actual dates with turned around to me and said "its the 3rd date, you shouldve slept with me by now" - obviously ended it there and then. i mean, jesus. whats the secret guys and girls? what am i actually doing wrong? sleep with someone when you first meet them - youre in the wrong. hold off and dont sleep with them - youre wrong. what are you supposed to do??????????????????? This is easy: stop playing games and communicate your interest instantly.
Author louise_23 Posted January 22, 2012 Author Posted January 22, 2012 Then why do you give the creeps attention...? Your people picker probably needs a little tweaking... Are these guys really good looking...? yes. and as for paying them attention, some people are persistant. but i do get your point of view.
Author louise_23 Posted January 22, 2012 Author Posted January 22, 2012 This is easy: stop playing games and communicate your interest instantly. vague. what do you mean?
USMCHokie Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 yes. and as for paying them attention, some people are persistant. but i do get your point of view. This is very telling...in my opinion, I see this as less their persistance and more of you being drawn and unable to ignore them because they are good looking. Once you get over that, things will get better...though I'm sure attention from hot people can be addicting...
Author louise_23 Posted January 22, 2012 Author Posted January 22, 2012 This is very telling...in my opinion, I see this as less their persistance and more of you being drawn and unable to ignore them because they are good looking. Once you get over that, things will get better...though I'm sure attention from hot people can be addicting... yeah i see what you mean. hmm.
Cypress25 Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 You're not doing anything wrong. Just try not to let it get to you when you encounter creeps. Ignore them and keep looking. There are a lot of creeps in the world, it's not your fault if they happen to find you.
Author louise_23 Posted January 22, 2012 Author Posted January 22, 2012 You're not doing anything wrong. Just try not to let it get to you when you encounter creeps. Ignore them and keep looking. There are a lot of creeps in the world, it's not your fault if they happen to find you. its just annoying you know? id like to meet someone thats after more than just sex. how can you even tell? some are right charmers, completely full of b.s. but they come across genuine til they get what they want. i just feel like out of everyone i go out with, im always the one that attracts them. even in a different situation and not going out, i got hassle from someone id gone out with because i hadnt slept with him, and someone else i turned down told his friends he'd slept with me which is lies. i just want a nice guy. i loved my ex before he cheated. i just want what i used to have!
Author louise_23 Posted January 22, 2012 Author Posted January 22, 2012 :laugh: laughing cus they dont exist...?
ThaWholigan Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 laughing cus they dont exist...? Oh there are many different types of "nice guy" out there....long story
USMCHokie Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 laughing cus they dont exist...? Not exactly...
Author louise_23 Posted January 22, 2012 Author Posted January 22, 2012 Oh there are many different types of "nice guy" out there....long story Not exactly... pray tell, people.
turt Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 its just annoying you know? id like to meet someone thats after more than just sex. how can you even tell? some are right charmers, completely full of b.s. but they come across genuine til they get what they want. That's a way you can tell. Have you ever attempted to go after a guy? You'd probably have better luck that way.
xpaperxcutx Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 All guys want sex that is why they are attracted to you. Its only the ones who are willing to wait, those are the ones who are keepers.
SJC2008 Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 It's so funny how it can go both ways. I'm in the same boat you are. I'm a down to earth every day joe. Have a good sense of humor and am more honest (imo) that the average joe walking down the street. I'm defiantely not an alpha male but I'm no doormat I can assure you that. I just can't seem to meet a woman who likes me or will give me a chance so I do feel your pain. The male version of the "sleep with someone when you first meet them - youre in the wrong. hold off and dont sleep with them - youre wrong. what are you supposed to do???????????????????" is: call too soon and you're clingy, don't make a move soon enough and you're not interested/don't find her attractive. I guess it boils down to meeting someone who has the same view as you which in my case is hard.
Author louise_23 Posted January 22, 2012 Author Posted January 22, 2012 That's a way you can tell. Have you ever attempted to go after a guy? You'd probably have better luck that way. very good theory, but i thought guys didnt like that? All guys want sex that is why they are attracted to you. Its only the ones who are willing to wait, those are the ones who are keepers. true. It's so funny how it can go both ways. I'm in the same boat you are. I'm a down to earth every day joe. Have a good sense of humor and am more honest (imo) that the average joe walking down the street. I'm defiantely not an alpha male but I'm no doormat I can assure you that. I just can't seem to meet a woman who likes me or will give me a chance so I do feel your pain. The male version of the "sleep with someone when you first meet them - youre in the wrong. hold off and dont sleep with them - youre wrong. what are you supposed to do???????????????????" is: call too soon and you're clingy, don't make a move soon enough and you're not interested/don't find her attractive. I guess it boils down to meeting someone who has the same view as you which in my case is hard. its so depressing!! its true though. its all just a ridiculous bunch of games. think i need to set my sights higher than the town i live in for one, as its so blatantly full of wankers. as far as calling goes...it annoys me when its obvious someone's doing that 3 day rule crap. i dont think calling soon is a bother, it becomes annoying when someone goes overkill and does it every day or something. hmm. i dont know. think ill concentrate on other stuff for a while, all this stuff is depressing me too much!
turt Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 very good theory, but i thought guys didnt like that? Try to befriend them first. You have to remember that they might not be attracted to you.
Oxy Moronovich Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 laughing cus they dont exist...? The majority of men who hear "I just want a nice guy" from women either roll their eyes or laugh scornfully. These very same women constantly dump the nice guy for being too nice. All guys want sex that is why they are attracted to you. Its only the ones who are willing to wait, those are the ones who are keepers. The U.S. divorce rate is between 65-75%. Most of those are initiated by women. I guess those guys who waited weren't "keepers" after all.
Author louise_23 Posted January 22, 2012 Author Posted January 22, 2012 The majority of men who hear "I just want a nice guy" from women either roll their eyes or laugh scornfully. These very same women constantly dump the nice guy for being too nice. The U.S. divorce rate is between 65-75%. Most of those are initiated by women. I guess those guys who waited weren't "keepers" after all. i wouldnt say i want a nice guy to any guy lol. thats crazy! i suppose you do have a point about the divorce rate though
Cypress25 Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 its just annoying you know? id like to meet someone thats after more than just sex. how can you even tell? some are right charmers, completely full of b.s. but they come across genuine til they get what they want. It is annoying, I won't deny that. The only way I know of to weed out the BS charmers from the truly genuine guys is to wait. Anyone can be charming, but only the genuine guys can stand the test of time. And I mean more than 5 dates, lol. The majority of men who hear "I just want a nice guy" from women either roll their eyes or laugh scornfully. These very same women constantly dump the nice guy for being too nice. Ugh, not this again. I really don't think women dump guys for being too nice. Guys just don't want to admit that they got dumped for being too annoying, too high maintenance, too lazy, too critical, too selfish, or too argumentative. So they convince themselves that they got dumped for being "too nice." The U.S. divorce rate is between 65-75%. Most of those are initiated by women. I guess those guys who waited weren't "keepers" after all. It's 50% and most divorces are initiated by women because it's usually men who f*ck up the marriage and start treating their wives like crap. It's not because their husbands are too nice, that's for sure.
Author louise_23 Posted January 23, 2012 Author Posted January 23, 2012 It is annoying, I won't deny that. The only way I know of to weed out the BS charmers from the truly genuine guys is to wait. Anyone can be charming, but only the genuine guys can stand the test of time. And I mean more than 5 dates, lol. ill remember that forever! more than 5 dates lol. ok. Ugh, not this again. I really don't think women dump guys for being too nice. Guys just don't want to admit that they got dumped for being too annoying, too high maintenance, too lazy, too critical, too selfish, or too argumentative. So they convince themselves that they got dumped for being "too nice." It's 50% and most divorces are initiated by women because it's usually men who f*ck up the marriage and start treating their wives like crap. It's not because their husbands are too nice, that's for sure. i love this.
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