Author USMCHokie Posted January 22, 2012 Author Posted January 22, 2012 how old are you hokie? 28. --------
Dust Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 I am not willing, and I stopped being a mere play thing a long time ago. I'm honestly seriously creeped out by this turn of events, and feel the heebie jeebies just thinking about it. But unfortunately, I'm far from surprised. Creeped out by what. He's not some 18 year old fresh recruit being fcked by his drill sgt. name Jack! He's a grown man who's kinking it up with an older woman he finds himself wanting. If he was just enjoying the moment, that would be one thing. But he's planning on continuing an ongoing long-distance relationship with her until he's deployed. She paid for the ticket. He has nothing else going on... He's looking foward to having her come over and walk around in the nude. He's into her. Obviously he's not in love. He just has fun messing her up. I'd be focusing on messing you up though if I were him. He should have kept this all to himself... maybe its all being done to Troll you though. I mean you're feeding this thing. Wow I'm enjoying it.
Author USMCHokie Posted January 22, 2012 Author Posted January 22, 2012 I'd be focusing on messing you up though if I were him. He should have kept this all to himself... maybe its all being done to Troll you though. I mean you're feeding this thing. Wow I'm enjoying it. Eh, it's par for the course.
johan Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 What makes you think she has a lot more at stake? She's older and has a kid. More responsibilities and more people to be responsible to. Someone in her shoes is not likely to put her heart on the line stupidly. Hokie on the other hand should take risks. He isn't settled. He's responsible to himself. He could use more experiences. And taking advantage of them when they are being offered isn't a terrible idea. He's more likely to get hurt than she is. However it ends up, he comes out of it with a clearer picture of where he wants to go.
Star Gazer Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Creeped out by what. He's not some 18 year old fresh recruit being fcked by his drill sgt. name Jack! He's a grown man who's kinking it up with an older woman he finds himself wanting. Do you realize his virginity was almost forcibly taken from him just 3 years ago? And how little relationship experience he has? If he were like the "typical guy" who can traipse around with women and not feel anything, compartmentalize sex/hooking up and feelings, then I wouldn't be the slightest bit concerned. But he's not like that. He is into-her-into-her.
Star Gazer Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 She's older and has a kid. More responsibilities and more people to be responsible to. Someone in her shoes is not likely to put her heart on the line stupidly. Hokie on the other hand should take risks. He isn't settled. He's responsible to himself. He could use more experiences. And taking advantage of them when they are being offered isn't a terrible idea. He's more likely to get hurt than she is. However it ends up, he comes out of it with a clearer picture of where he wants to go. What can he learn from this, J? This isn't some cute, age-appropriate girl within driving distance who he can date "normally" and have a "normal" relationship experience with to learn and grow from if it doesn't work out. This has disaster written all over it from the get go. And all of his experiences have been one version of something f*cked up or another. He's getting a very demented, emotionally unhealthy experience to draw from.
jobaba Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 And is the age difference really that weird or crazy...? (it kinda is... ) But even if you disregard the age piece, would you get involved with someone where there's absolutely no long term potential at the risk that you could become emotionally attached? Absolutely. Life is short. If you think you could have some fun together and you guys have an emotional bond, screw what society says about your age difference. After all, if you guys were stranded on a desert island, would you care that she was 18 years older than you? As for emotional attachment and heartbreak, time heals all wounds. Whatever happens between the two of you, you'll forget eventually. From the master of rejection...
Dust Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Do you realize his virginity was almost forcibly taken from him just 3 years ago? And how little relationship experience he has? If he were like the "typical guy" who can traipse around with women and not feel anything, compartmentalize sex/hooking up and feelings, then I wouldn't be the slightest bit concerned. But he's not like that. He is into-her-into-her. He's a grown man how could sex be forcibly taken? I mean unless he was in prison? He can be typical guy. Do you understand that as a man I can hate a woman and at the same time want to fck her. Yes he can compartmentalize and if he can't then theres no saving him now. He'll become this womans young husband and miss out on a life. Only thing that could stop him I guess is if you go out there and get impregnated by the man.
D-Lish Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 28. -------- So that makes her 46ish? Not a big deal IMO. You're being deployed at some point in the near future, that will most likely put an end to things when that happens. Maybe it will turn into a long term friendship at some point. You don't choose attraction, it chooses you- so it it makes you happy, enjoy it and ban any feelings of guilt.
Star Gazer Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 He's a grown man how could sex be forcibly taken? I mean unless he was in prison? Read his threads. He can be typical guy. I disagree. He doesn't have it in him.
Dust Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Read his threads. I disagree. He doesn't have it in him. Well if doesn't grow up and become a man he's doomed to a life of being taken advantage of. Maybe this will prove he has grown up.
johan Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 (edited) What can he learn from this, J? This isn't some cute, age-appropriate girl within driving distance who he can date "normally" and have a "normal" relationship experience with to learn and grow from if it doesn't work out. This has disaster written all over it from the get go. And all of his experiences have been one version of something f*cked up or another. He's getting a very demented, emotionally unhealthy experience to draw from. Maybe it does have disaster written all over it. So let him have his disaster. What's the worst than can happen? He gets hurt or she does, then they take the requisite months to recover and ultimately walk away from it with something interesting to talk about and maybe even some happy memories. I would be more likely to agree with you if it was proven that dating older women long distance caused cancer or would lead to thermonuclear conflict. Maybe the "cute, age-appropriate girl within driving distance who he can date "normally" and have a "normal" relationship experience with" is what comes next. I personally didn't know that I wasn't cut out for long distance relationships until I tried to have them. Now I know. I didn't know what sleeping with a married woman does to your soul until I did it. Now I know. I didn't know what it was like to try to have a relationship with an emotionally unavailable woman until I had one. Now I know. I didn't know I couldn't turn a rebound relationship into something real until I tried. Now I know. I didn't know how bad an office relationship could really be until I had one. Now I know. There are lots of things I didn't know about until I did them. It's Hokie's turn. Edited January 22, 2012 by johan
D-Lish Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Maybe it does have disaster written all over it. So let him have his disaster. What's the worst than can happen? He gets hurt or she does, then they take the requisite months to recover and ultimately walk away from it with something interesting to talk about and maybe even some happy memories. I would be more likely to agree with you if it was proven that dating older women long distance caused cancer or would lead to thermonuclear conflict. Maybe the "cute, age-appropriate girl within driving distance who he can date "normally" and have a "normal" relationship experience with" is what comes next. I personally didn't know that I wasn't cut out for long distance relationships until I tried to have them. Now I know. I didn't know what sleeping with a married woman does to your soul until I did it. Now I know. I didn't know what it was like to try to have a relationship with an emotionally unavailable woman until I had one. Now I know. I didn't know I couldn't turn a rebound relationship into something real until I tried. Now I know. I didn't know how bad an office relationship could really be until I had one. Now I know. There are lots of things I didn't know about until I did them. It's Hokie's turn. Good point, I think we can learn so much more from our failures than our success. It becomes a problem for an individual when they make the same mistakes over and over again without learning from their failures.
Author USMCHokie Posted January 22, 2012 Author Posted January 22, 2012 What can he learn from this, J? This isn't some cute, age-appropriate girl within driving distance who he can date "normally" and have a "normal" relationship experience with to learn and grow from if it doesn't work out. I tend to observe that "normal" age-appropriate girls have yet to get over themselves. Not dealing with it.
Author USMCHokie Posted January 22, 2012 Author Posted January 22, 2012 So that makes her 46ish? Not a big deal IMO. You're being deployed at some point in the near future, that will most likely put an end to things when that happens. Maybe it will turn into a long term friendship at some point. You don't choose attraction, it chooses you- so it it makes you happy, enjoy it and ban any feelings of guilt. I don't feel guilty about it at all. I do not feel awkward or embarassed when I'm out in public with her. I am attracted to her, both physically and mentally. We have similar senses of humor and can talk about pretty much anything. In that way, it feels like it could have become something more if not for the distance, age difference, and differing life circumstances...and that's the scary part... She even told her daughter that there's something between us. And she told me a funny story that back when I first met her and her daughter on the cruise, her daughter had encouraged her to get together with me...
Ninjainpajamas Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 I think this situation is ideal for you...you don't have to worry about her getting all wrapped into you and with older women I tend to connect on a much deeper level emotionally and intellectually, they're so much wiser and in control of themselves as younger women who just fall for just about every other guy they sleep with. Soak in this situation, I think older women in general are great for younger men, I think it does a lot for both parties...there's more of a sense of reality and control that doesn't have to be forced in a relationship of closer age, so just let loose!
Cracker Jack Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Honestly, I don't see an issue with this. Both of you are attracted to each other, and both of you aren't expecting much more to come out of this. I don't think the age difference is an issue. Continue having fun and hopefully you'll meet a woman you actually want something serious with soon enough.
D-Lish Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 I don't feel guilty about it at all. I do not feel awkward or embarassed when I'm out in public with her. I am attracted to her, both physically and mentally. We have similar senses of humor and can talk about pretty much anything. In that way, it feels like it could have become something more if not for the distance, age difference, and differing life circumstances...and that's the scary part... She even told her daughter that there's something between us. And she told me a funny story that back when I first met her and her daughter on the cruise, her daughter had encouraged her to get together with me... Go for it Chokie. Go for it. xo.
krz12 Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Well if doesn't grow up and become a man he's doomed to a life of being taken advantage of. Maybe this will prove he has grown up. Cool, Hokie has a cougar! The obvious catch 22 of most people in their mid 20s is that a lack of experience leads to a lack of girlfriend, and a lack of girlfriend leads to a lack of experience. Might as well take it.
Author USMCHokie Posted January 22, 2012 Author Posted January 22, 2012 I think this situation is ideal for you...you don't have to worry about her getting all wrapped into you and with older women I tend to connect on a much deeper level emotionally and intellectually, they're so much wiser and in control of themselves as younger women who just fall for just about every other guy they sleep with. Absolutely. And she has told me countless times that she finds me more mature than men her own age...
johan Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Absolutely. And she has told me countless times that she finds me more mature than men her own age... That's a line. Don't buy that crap from her. You aren't more mature than men her age, trust me. She just wants you in bed.
Author USMCHokie Posted January 22, 2012 Author Posted January 22, 2012 That's a line. Don't buy that crap from her. You aren't more mature than men her age, trust me. She just wants you in bed. Then why not bed the dudes her age...? Edit: Eh, but you're probably right.
johan Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Then why not bed the dudes her age...? Edit: Eh, but you're probably right. She might be infatuated with you. She might have even meant it. But it was infatuation talking. What you don't know at this point is whether she adores you or the attention you give her. But you'll find out if you hang in there long enough.
Author USMCHokie Posted January 22, 2012 Author Posted January 22, 2012 She might be infatuated with you. She might have even meant it. But it was infatuation talking. What you don't know at this point is whether she adores you or the attention you give her. But you'll find out if you hang in there long enough. I agree with this, which is why I've been trying to tread carefully here...and which is why I posted this thread to begin with...
Star Gazer Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 She might be infatuated with you. She might have even meant it. But it was infatuation talking. What you don't know at this point is whether she adores you or the attention you give her. But you'll find out if you hang in there long enough. Ding, ding, ding. Ever so wise. What 46-year old woman wouldn't greatly enjoy getting attention from a young stud with a hot bod who's infatuated with her?
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