USMCHokie Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 So there's a woman that I met a couple years back on a cruise who I recently reconnected with that I'm really starting to like...she lives about 1500 miles away...and she's 18 years older than me...at first we had no intentions of anything romantic happening, but we just get along so well and things sort of happened when I visited her twice on both my road trips from DC to California... We both know that this has absolutely no long term potential, and she is not interested in any sort of serious relationship...but we talk every day, and it feels like it is turning into more of a long distance relationship than just a casual thing...she even told me she wanted to fly to California to visit me...and then booked the ticket...she's coming in three weeks and I can't wait... And now I find myself wanting someone who I know isn't "right" for me...and she feels the same way...we're approaching it as a fun time for however long it lasts, but I'm a little concerned that we'll both get more emotionally attached than we want...and I will be deploying for a year this summer, which certainly makes for a convenient exit strategy, but I don't know if it's wise to keep this going until then... And is the age difference really that weird or crazy...? (it kinda is... ) But even if you disregard the age piece, would you get involved with someone where there's absolutely no long term potential at the risk that you could become emotionally attached?
Dust Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 Just have a good time with it if you like her. Sure she might get hurt when you get a real gf but she knows what she's in for. Just keep looking for a real gf. You know the kind that is many years younger instead of older haha. Or in side your desired age bracket.
Author USMCHokie Posted January 21, 2012 Author Posted January 21, 2012 Just have a good time with it if you like her. Sure she might get hurt when you get a real gf but she knows what she's in for. Just keep looking for a real gf. You know the kind that is many years younger instead of older haha. Or in side your desired age bracket. Yea, right now I'm not really looking for anyone...the area is tough for meeting women, and online dating around here is a joke...
Author USMCHokie Posted January 21, 2012 Author Posted January 21, 2012 Trust me, women that age aren't going to get hurt by that. Men ought to stop feeling so guilty about their sexual impulses, treating women even almost 20 years older with kid gloves. Supposedly men and women are the same thing, according to Sociologists and policy-makers, would you feel so horrible if you were in your 40's or 50's and a girl 18 years younger wanted some NSA sex and friendship? In fact, a lot of older broads get stuck in their single-woman neurotic habits and don't even want a relationship. One older chick (not as old as yours at all however) I used to know would not even want to share the bed after the deed was done I'm not necessarily concerned just about her feelings, but also mine...
Dust Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 I'm not necessarily concerned just about her feelings, but also mine... What are these "feelings" you talk of. Only thing I'd worry about is if it seems like fun. If it seems embaresing and gross then no I wouldn't do it. If it seemed hot and fun then what the heck!
Star Gazer Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Trust me, women that age aren't going to get hurt by that. THIS. It's highly unlikely that she sees you as anything more than a cute little play thing. She's beyond child bearing years (for the most part), and couldn't give you a real relationship even if she wanted one. YOU are the one who's in danger of getting emotionally attached and hurt here, not her.
jerbear Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 I suggest going with the flow. It is ok to enjoy life to the fullest and if it seems like more right now well go with it. If you two, or you feel it is not long term then it won't be; keep it short term. There are people who come into our lives and it is better to enjoy the time with them; even if she is 18 years older.
Star Gazer Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 You're also barely older than her daughter. This is literally a Demi-Ashton "relationship," and she's not even a fraction of as attractive as Demi. Seriously, Hokie... WTF are you doing?? Are you that hard up?
jerbear Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 You're also barely older than her daughter. This is literally a Demi-Ashton "relationship," and she's not even a fraction of as attractive as Demi. Seriously, Hokie... WTF are you doing?? Are you that hard up? Hokie is barely older than her daughter. Hokie, I suggest keeping your heart guarded. Keep her as a "friend."
Author USMCHokie Posted January 22, 2012 Author Posted January 22, 2012 THIS. It's highly unlikely that she sees you as anything more than a cute little play thing. She's beyond child bearing years (for the most part), and couldn't give you a real relationship even if she wanted one. YOU are the one who's in danger of getting emotionally attached and hurt here, not her. Yep, I agree. You know me and my "ability" to become emotionally attached...I'm not there yet, and I honestly don't know whether I will get there, but it's a slight concern. And I agree that we don't see each other as more than cute little play things, and I'm quite ok with that.
Author USMCHokie Posted January 22, 2012 Author Posted January 22, 2012 You're also barely older than her daughter. This is literally a Demi-Ashton "relationship," and she's not even a fraction of as attractive as Demi. Seriously, Hokie... WTF are you doing?? Are you that hard up? Hahah, her daughter is 18... And no, I'm not really that "hard up"...neither of us saw this coming actually...she even told me she initially saw me as a son...and then things sort of just happened... Demi is a bit of an outlier, don't you think...?
Author USMCHokie Posted January 22, 2012 Author Posted January 22, 2012 Hokie is barely older than her daughter. Hokie, I suggest keeping your heart guarded. Keep her as a "friend." Well, I've been guarding myself for the past year, unable to really feel emotionally attached to anyone...so maybe it's the relative newness of it all that's making me feel all of this...
Dust Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 You're also barely older than her daughter. This is literally a Demi-Ashton "relationship," and she's not even a fraction of as attractive as Demi. Seriously, Hokie... WTF are you doing?? Are you that hard up? Well if he's attracted and she's like throwing herself at him... I personaly probably wouldn't be attracted to a woman that old. Now Star you're not that much older. We can pretend your younger right? Why don't you offer up your body as a sacrafice to please Hokie? You guys could 69 you on top of course! Seriously Hokie if you're hot for this woman just do it. But really it wouldn't be that hard to meet a woman you're totaly into if you just put some effort in. I mean you're in shape, you have career, and other then these feelings you speak of you seem pretty cool.
Star Gazer Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Now Star you're not that much older. We can pretend your younger right? I'm not following you. I'm 12 years younger than this woman.
Star Gazer Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Hahah, her daughter is 18... You are way closer in age to her daughter than you are to her. And no, I'm not really that "hard up"...neither of us saw this coming actually...she even told me she initially saw me as a son...and then things sort of just happened... Ewwwww. Just, ew. She sees you as a son... and then she... :sick: Demi is a bit of an outlier, don't you think...? Not sure what you mean by that, but their age difference was LESS than yours.
Star Gazer Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 I agree that we don't see each other as more than cute little play things, and I'm quite ok with that. You see HER as a cute little plaything? Were you drunk the entire time you were on the cruise and in middle America? And now? I'm.......speechless.
Author USMCHokie Posted January 22, 2012 Author Posted January 22, 2012 You are way closer in age to her daughter than you are to her. Ewwwww. Just, ew. She sees you as a son... and then she... :sick: I know, the whole situation is pretty f*cked up...but at least I never thought of her as a mother... Not sure what you mean by that, but their age difference was LESS than yours. Demi's physical attractiveness.
johan Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Dust has it right. Just do it. This woman has a lot more at stake than you do, so if she's willing to risk it, then it's pretty much a no-brainer for you. Just be prepared for the idea that it's just a physical thing for her. All the better of course. It may not end well, but that's still better than sitting around saying what-if. These are the situations that teach you.
Dust Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 I'm not following you. I'm 12 years younger than this woman. Sorry to confuse you our pretty. I meant not that much older then hokie... not the woman. The woman being 18 years older you only being 6 years older. You see HER as a cute little plaything? Were you drunk the entire time you were on the cruise and in middle America? And now? I'm.......speechless. Oh stop giving him such a hard time unless you're willing to go be speechless in his arms. You're a pretty little play thing arn't you?
Star Gazer Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 I know, the whole situation is pretty f*cked up...but at least I never thought of her as a mother... But she thought of herself as your mother. Isn't that beyond twisted? Demi's physical attractiveness. Oh, for sure Demi is light years more attractive than this woman... and I don't think Demi is all that hot. Many guys can treat a play thing like a play thing. YOU are not one of those guys. You are going to get eaten alive by this woman. Mark my words.
Star Gazer Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Dust has it right. Just do it. This woman has a lot more at stake than you do, so if she's willing to risk it, then it's pretty much a no-brainer for you. What makes you think she has a lot more at stake?
Author USMCHokie Posted January 22, 2012 Author Posted January 22, 2012 Just be prepared for the idea that it's just a physical thing for her. All the better of course. Right now, that's exactly what it is for both of us...but she has expressed concern that it's turning into more than what she ever thought it'd be for her...I mean, after I visited her the second time, we both expected to not see each other again...and now she's flying out to see me in 3 weeks... And hopefully we can keep it that way until the summer when I leave...
Star Gazer Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Oh stop giving him such a hard time unless you're willing to go be speechless in his arms. You're a pretty little play thing arn't you? I am not willing, and I stopped being a mere play thing a long time ago. I'm honestly seriously creeped out by this turn of events, and feel the heebie jeebies just thinking about it. But unfortunately, I'm far from surprised.
D-Lish Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 How old are you Hokie? I agree with others, after my divorce I dated some much younger guys. By that age, you're so set in our ways, beyond playing games, and it's not likely she'll get attached too deeply. IMO, just play it out and try not to over think it. If you two enjoy spending time together - just chalk it up to that and enjoy the moment. You can't always help whom you are attracted to- even if it seems like a strange pairing, it might just be fine for the moment.
Star Gazer Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 IMO, just play it out and try not to over think it. If you two enjoy spending time together - just chalk it up to that and enjoy the moment. You can't always help whom you are attracted to- even if it seems like a strange pairing, it might just be fine for the moment. If he was just enjoying the moment, that would be one thing. But he's planning on continuing an ongoing long-distance relationship with her until he's deployed.
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