Easyguy14 Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 been single for a long time now; maybe a few years Im not sure but when I mention this to a friend or whoever they raise eyebrows at me and state that after a while remaining single gets alarming. any thoughts?
USMCHokie Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 Screw 'em. Being single is better than being with someone who isn't right for you and smoeone you're not happy with.
TaraMaiden Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 No state ever brings complete and utter all-round, all-encompassing happiness. "I'm happy you're married/in a relationship - try being happy for me as a single person - I am. When I feel the person, and the time, are both right, that will change. I'm not about to compromise what I want, and just 'settle' for the first person who comes along.... is that what you want? Are you completely, utterly totally happy in your relationship, right now? I mean, are you 100% fulfilled? If your answer's not 'yes' - then don't ask me dumb questions.....!" ...Is what you need to tell them. the best thing you could develop as a single person, is self-assured confidence and dignity. Live a life as if you purposely chose your destiny to be completely single, because it has its benefits.... you would be amazed at how life can throw you a purler curve-ball, when you're not looking.....
ditzchic Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 Being single never becomes lame if it is the best way for you to be at the time. No one has a cookie cutter life so there aren't cookie cutter rules for when you need to do this and do that. Do whatever is best for you at that time. If you haven't met someone that moves you to be unsingle then be single. But you should always be open to the possibilities that life can bring. Now if you asked when booty calls, FWB and picking up randoms at a bar is lame, I could probably give you an answer for that....
ScienceGal Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 Being single is better than being with someone who isn't right for you. It's a strong position to be in, and you are more ready for when someone does come into your life. Many people stay with someone even when they aren't completely sure if they should. It's a fear based decision that only gets more difficult when marriage, kids and life obligations come into play. Such relationships keep them from being content alone and developing personally and emotionally. You should make the best decision with the information that you have. So, if no one is sparking interest... stay put (says the single 30 year old woman ).
Shaun-Dro Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 Being single is better than being with someone who isn't right for you. It's a strong position to be in, and you are more ready for when someone does come into your life. Many people stay with someone even when they aren't completely sure if they should. It's a fear based decision that only gets more difficult when marriage, kids and life obligations come into play. Such relationships keep them from being content alone and developing personally and emotionally. You should make the best decision with the information that you have. So, if no one is sparking interest... stay put (says the single 30 year old woman ). This is true. I been single for almost 5 months since my brief fling or affair with the Target girl. I don't mind it all, given the fact that the majority of the women I meet don't even fit within my relationship criteria.
ditzchic Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 This is true. I been single for almost 5 months since my brief fling or affair with the Target girl. I don't mind it all, given the fact that the majority of the women I meet don't even fit within my relationship criteria. Single for 5 months?? Come on. People go longer than that without haircuts... Try 5 years since your last relationship with only brief flings here and there and then we'll talk.
Shaun-Dro Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Single for 5 months?? Come on. People go longer than that without haircuts... Try 5 years since your last relationship with only brief flings here and there and then we'll talk. Actually I was talking to this girl I met at the movies but I don't like her. I just made comments about the movie and just kicked back after that, but then she kept on yapping to me, then wanted to exchange numbers, so I went ahead with it. If she tries to ask me out, I'll tell her friends would be more suitable for us. Ditzchic, from reading your threads, you've been dating around a lot as of late, so you haven't been exactly single for five months. You just haven't been in a committed relationship either. The OP might be referring to not being on any dates, I'm assuming, which would lead to no longer being in the single lifestyle.
ditzchic Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Actually I was talking to this girl I met at the movies but I don't like her. I just made comments about the movie and just kicked back after that, but then she kept on yapping to me, then wanted to exchange numbers, so I went ahead with it. If she tries to ask me out, I'll tell her friends would be more suitable for us. Ditzchic, from reading your threads, you've been dating around a lot as of late, so you haven't been exactly single for five months. You just haven't been in a committed relationship either. The OP might be referring to not being on any dates, I'm assuming, which would lead to no longer being in the single lifestyle. Ah, there's the rub. We just define things differently. To me not being single means being in a serious committed relationship. Dating around doesn't count as not single to me. Even when I'm exclusively seeing someone I would still classify myself as single until I get to that stage where we feel comfortable calling each other our boyfriend or girlfriend. That's usually about 3-4 months in for me. It's just a difference in vocab
grkBoy Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 The only people I've seen who think being single is "lame" are usually the ones who believe the main point in life is to be with someone. This could be the lonely heart who seemingly puts too much priority on finding someone, or those in RLs who think all the single people are childish, foolish, losers, etc. I think the worst are men and women who judge anyone that's been single for a long time. They immediately think something is "wrong" with the person who has been single for a while. That or they assume he/she is a commitment-phobe. I personally think many people who get judgmental for any reason on this are the lame ones. I especially get a kick out of those who can't fathom being single (because they think only losers are single), but they are in unhappy RLs, and they especially try to make it sound convincing that they are better off than the single folk. It's like when I see a married couple with kids who belittle the single/unmarried person or people...calling them immature...when the truth is they envy the freedom those single folk have.
Star Gazer Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Being single is better than being with someone who isn't right for you... Boy, YOU sure changed your mind fast! Being single never becomes lame if it is the best way for you to be at the time. No one has a cookie cutter life so there aren't cookie cutter rules for when you need to do this and do that. Do whatever is best for you at that time. If you haven't met someone that moves you to be unsingle then be single. But you should always be open to the possibilities that life can bring. I LOVE every word of this post; I couldn't agree more. Now if you asked when booty calls, FWB and picking up randoms at a bar is lame, I could probably give you an answer for that.... As could I! The only people I've seen who think being single is "lame" are usually the ones who believe the main point in life is to be with someone. This could be the lonely heart who seemingly puts too much priority on finding someone, or those in RLs who think all the single people are childish, foolish, losers, etc. So true!
USMCHokie Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Boy, YOU sure changed your mind fast! Not with her yet...
ThaWholigan Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Staying single becomes lame when you aren't getting laid. In my experience at least LOL
Star Gazer Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Not with her yet... Um, you specifically said you want someone who's not right for you. Gross.
USMCHokie Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Um, you specifically said you want someone who's not right for you. Gross. Eh, it is what it is.
ditzchic Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Um, you specifically said you want someone who's not right for you. Gross. Wanting and having are two different things, Star Gazer. Remember the be open to all possibilities thing.... Let him have his go round! lol.
Star Gazer Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Eh, it is what it is. Right, it is what it is: gross.
Star Gazer Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Remember the be open to all possibilities thing.... Well, then I retract my agreement. I'm not open to ALL possibilities.
Shaun-Dro Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 But who is it lame to? To you, or to these friends you speak of? What you think of it is what really matters. I don't love being single, I don't love being alone in just about everything I do...to me that gets lame...but being single in general isn't lame...it is what it is. Sure I'd prefer to have someone...but I'm also having a lot of "me" time that I might find myself missing oneday. Its a society where single life is more acceptable in the sense that marriage is becoming more of a "dying institution". But, there are still some folks who are so dependent on relationships and having someone that they can't understand why other people would have it another way. Be proud if you are not one of them, and for sure don't listen to their opinions of how or why you live your life. I agree with this. Living in this so-called modern age where being inside of a relationship is no longer the norm, remaining single by choice is perfectly ideal, if you ask me. I know you didn't ask, but still wanted you to know.
runner Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 been single for a long time now; maybe a few years Im not sure but when I mention this to a friend or whoever they raise eyebrows at me and state that after a while remaining single gets alarming. any thoughts? yes- i think your friends are pretty lame.
nessaaa Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Screw 'em. Being single is better than being with someone who isn't right for you and smoeone you're not happy with. Amen to that!
Star Gazer Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Hokie is full of it. His "advice" is smart to everyone else, but he ignores it when given to himself. Yesterday: Being single is better than being with someone who isn't right for you. Today: Is [being with the wrong person] not better than the alternative of having no one at all...? You know it's pretty slim pickin's where I live...
El Brujo Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 If you're a player, being single never becomes lame---it's called your life. But if you're a keeper, being single becomes lame after about the first 5 minutes or so.
Oxy Moronovich Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Being single becomes lame when you are physically attractive enough to get dates but you don't. Then you blame your failed dating life on everything but yourself.
KathyM Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 I think everybody has their own idea of when it becomes lame based on what they want out of life. For someone that has a hard time scoring any dates, that is lame to them if they want to date people. For someone who can't seem to or rarely gets past the first date with people, that would get old pretty fast--like going on multiple job interviews, but never getting the job. For someone who has a bit longer relationships, but they never seem to work out--always fizzle out after 2 or 3 months, just when you start to really get to know a person, that would become lame after awhile. For someone who gets into more long term relationships, but always seems to get their heart broken, that can take a toll on a person's feelings about dating and being single, as opposed to married. Or for those who want to move on to the next stage of life--marriage and children, the single life can feel lame if you can never seem to get past that when you are ready to move on to the next stage.
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