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I told this girl I met online that I was unemployed---"biggest mistake ever"-lol

PhillyDude

By PhillyDude
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PhillyDude Established Member

PhillyDude

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I usually tell a female i;m only looking for friendship when I;m unemployed but I didn't do this with this one girl and told her during the day I do this

 

50% networking

35% researching

15% applying to jobs

 

 

Then she says one day to me.."you don't seem serious about finding a job" Shouldn't you be applying to more jobs???

 

 

Well of course I told curse her out and told her hung up on her since she was so judgmental and that ended everything. So I decided to put it in my profile that i'm unemployed and that i;m seeking friendship ONLY so that way they won't feel they need to judge me.

 

 

I blame myself because I should have known someone with a master's degree and a job was not going to be interested in trying to start something with a unemployed man. That won't happen again LOL

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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told her during the day I do this

 

15% applying to jobs

 

Then she says one day to me.."you don't seem serious about finding a job" Shouldn't you be applying to more jobs???

 

I would have asked you the same thing. Unless you're independently wealthy, if you're unemployed, MOST of your time should be spent looking for employment.

 

Well of course I told curse her out and told her hung up on her since she was so judgmental and that ended everything. So I decided to put it in my profile that i'm unemployed and that i;m seeking friendship ONLY so that way they won't feel they need to judge me.

 

I blame myself because I should have known someone with a master's degree and a job was not going to be interested in trying to start something with a unemployed man. That won't happen again LOL

 

1. You cursed her out and hung up on her for suggesting you spend more time looking for a job? Wow. She dodged a bullet there.

 

2. Even women you meet as FRIENDS are likely to ask you the same question.

 

3. Why are you on a DATING website saying you're looking ONLY for friendship? Very, very few women are going to be interested in being only friends when they're there to meet dates.

 

4. If you "should have known" that she wasn't going to be interested in starting something with an unemployed man, why did you curse her out, hang up on her, and call her judgmental?

 

Gawd. :rolleyes:

kaylan Established Member

kaylan

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Well considering what the job market is like right now, being unemployed doesnt look too bad depending on the details of a persons situation. If you were someone who worked a decent paying job and got laid off, its not so bad. If you are college educated and just graduated in the last couple years into a bad market, it doesnt look too bad. If your someone whos not educated, doesnt have decent work experience, or works lower level jobs...then being unemployed will definitely look bad to the type of gal you mentioned. Ambition means a lot to people...spending only 15% of your day job hunting would look bad to some people.

joystickd Established Member

joystickd

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I bust a woman's balls if she starts out by asking what do I do. I say something crazy like beer taster or staff development coordinator at an escort service. I have even once said professional sperm donor.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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I bust a woman's balls if she starts out by asking what do I do. I say something crazy like beer taster or staff development coordinator at an escort service. I have even once said professional sperm donor.

 

Why? It's how most people spend half of their waking day. It's always one of my first questions, and I've never ever ever ever ever ever had a guy seem even remotely bothered by it.

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PhillyDude Established Member

PhillyDude

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I would have asked you the same thing. Unless you're independently wealthy, if you're unemployed, MOST of your time should be spent looking for employment.

 

 

 

1. You cursed her out and hung up on her for suggesting you spend more time looking for a job? Wow. She dodged a bullet there.

 

2. Even women you meet as FRIENDS are likely to ask you the same question.

 

3. Why are you on a DATING website saying you're looking ONLY for friendship? Very, very few women are going to be interested in being only friends when they're there to meet dates.

 

4. If you "should have known" that she wasn't going to be interested in starting something with an unemployed man, why did you curse her out, hang up on her, and call her judgmental?

 

Gawd. :rolleyes:

 

 

Well first of all she didn't need to concern herself with my issue. I'm the only one who is supposed to worry about my job situation no one else. And second, most job postings are FAKE which is why I only applied to 3 jobs in 4 weeks. So I;m trying to find a job in a different way by expanding my network and doing more research. Job search involves more than just applying to 100 jobs a day.

 

 

And the dating site I'm on allows you to seek a PENPAL

joystickd Established Member

joystickd

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I would have asked you the same thing. Unless you're independently wealthy, if you're unemployed, MOST of your time should be spent looking for employment.

 

 

 

1. You cursed her out and hung up on her for suggesting you spend more time looking for a job? Wow. She dodged a bullet there.

 

2. Even women you meet as FRIENDS are likely to ask you the same question.

 

3. Why are you on a DATING website saying you're looking ONLY for friendship? Very, very few women are going to be interested in being only friends when they're there to meet dates.

 

4. If you "should have known" that she wasn't going to be interested in starting something with an unemployed man, why did you curse her out, hang up on her, and call her judgmental?

 

Gawd. :rolleyes:

I have to comment on number 1. What so wrong with defending yourself if you feel disrespected?

joystickd Established Member

joystickd

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Why? It's how most people spend half of their waking day. It's always one of my first questions, and I've never ever ever ever ever ever had a guy seem even remotely bothered by it.

Its my way of weeding out women to the one that are worthy of spending time with me and potentially something more.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Well first of all she didn't need to concern herself with my issue. I'm the only one who is supposed to worry about my job situation no one else.

 

As a potential relationship partner for her, she absolutely should be concerned with your employability and apparent lack of ambition to find work.

 

And the dating site I'm on allows you to seek a PENPAL

 

And the point of that for you would be, what...?

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PhillyDude Established Member

PhillyDude

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Well considering what the job market is like right now, being unemployed doesnt look too bad depending on the details of a persons situation. If you were someone who worked a decent paying job and got laid off, its not so bad. If you are college educated and just graduated in the last couple years into a bad market, it doesnt look too bad. If your someone whos not educated, doesnt have decent work experience, or works lower level jobs...then being unemployed will definitely look bad to the type of gal you mentioned. Ambition means a lot to people...spending only 15% of your day job hunting would look bad to some people.

 

Because lots of job postings are FAKE. I spend most of the day figuring out how to make myself "visibly employable" I want to be FOUND and rather not look.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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I have to comment on number 1. What so wrong with defending yourself if you feel disrespected?

 

Is that how you "defend" yourself when someone asks you a question you find disrespectful? By cursing them out and hanging up on them? Good luck to you if you do, life is gonna be prettttttty tough!

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Because lots of job postings are FAKE. I spend most of the day figuring out how to make myself "visibly employable" I want to be FOUND and rather not look.

 

1. Job postings are not FAKE. Get real.

 

2. Employers aren't going to go looking for YOU. YOU have to go looking and applying to THEM. Only recruiters will come looking for you. But if YOU want to work for a company, YOU have to do the work. Not sit there like a prince waiting for them to come along.

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PhillyDude Established Member

PhillyDude

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As a potential relationship partner for her, she absolutely should be concerned with your employability and apparent lack of ambition to find work.

 

 

 

 

And the point of that for you would be, what...?

 

Well let's see, I spend most of my day coming up with new strategies to market myself so that I can get closer to employment. So at the end of the day. what;s wrong with meeting a new friend to talk to and laugh with and no expectations? Maybe we like the same TV show or like the same music. Am I supposed to job search 24 hours a day and everyday and not have a MENTAL ESCAPE at all????

joystickd Established Member

joystickd

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Is that how you "defend" yourself when someone asks you a question you find disrespectful? By cursing them out and hanging up on them? Good luck to you if you do, life is gonna be prettttttty tough!

 

Let's be honest here we don't really now what type of tone she said it in. He obviously had a reason to be offended.

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PhillyDude Established Member

PhillyDude

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1. Job postings are not FAKE. Get real.

 

2. Employers aren't going to go looking for YOU. YOU have to go looking and applying to THEM. Only recruiters will come looking for you. But if YOU want to work for a company, YOU have to do the work. Not sit there like a prince waiting for them to come along.

 

 

85% of job postings on company websites are FAKE, look it up. I'm a full-time researcher in my spare time. And I was found in the past by being creative so if it worked before why not try something else to be found again?

 

My main goal everyday is to ask myself...'What can i do today that other unemployed people are not doing?"

 

 

The answer to that question is what usually leads to employment

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Let's be honest here we don't really now what type of tone she said it in. He obviously had a reason to be offended.

 

After reading all his threads, I really, really don't think so. That said, even if she said it in a bitchy tone, cursing her out and hanging up on her is ridiculous. He won't get far romantically, professionally, or in friendship with his pen pals if that's how he responds to difficult questions.

 

Someone with any sense of personal control would have explained to her in a calm, if not joking way to make her feel silly, why he only spends 15% of his time looking for jobs.

kaylan Established Member

kaylan

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Because lots of job postings are FAKE. I spend most of the day figuring out how to make myself "visibly employable" I want to be FOUND and rather not look.

 

what are you talking about? If you live in philly then there should be PLENTY of legit job postings. I live in NY...in a suburb of NYC...and i see a good number of postings...but either Im under qualified or its not in my field...but you gotta take what you can get in this market. Get on craigslist, indeed.com, and careerbuilding. Loads of jobs between those 3 sites. Indeed is like the google of job boards anyways.

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PhillyDude Established Member

PhillyDude

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Let's be honest here we don't really now what type of tone she said it in. He obviously had a reason to be offended.

 

 

She was drilling me with question after question and I was like..."Wait a minute? "You are not that attractive to be drilling me like this ok?

 

Yeah she has a master' degree, have a nice job, and live in a condo but still have NO MAN

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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85% of job postings on company websites are FAKE, look it up. I'm a full-time researcher in my spare time. And I was found in the past by being creative so if it worked before why not try something else to be found again?

 

Explain to me why companies would waste their time posting fake jobs.

 

When I was looking for a new job (while still employed), I received a response to nearly every single one of my inquiries/applications/sent resumes.

carhill Established Member

carhill

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If a woman was to ask me such a question (few do) I would (and have) mention that I've been gainfully unemployed for xxx (now about 25) years. EOS. The ones who like to pin down profession and salary move along. I like it that way. Synergy.

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PhillyDude Established Member

PhillyDude

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Explain to me why companies would waste their time posting fake jobs.

 

When I was looking for a new job (while still employed), I received a response to nearly every single one of my inquiries/applications/sent resumes.

 

 

They do it to make it look like they are giving outsiders a chance at a job when they fill that job with someone on the inside. And it can be to see what kind of talent is out there just in case someone quits or gets fired.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Yeah she has a master' degree, have a nice job, and live in a condo but still have NO MAN

 

She has "NO MAN"? So what? What are you suggesting by pointing out her single status like that? Aren't you insulting yourself too, because you have NO WOMAN. Again, get real.

 

I'll have you know it's pretty hard for attractive women who have advanced degrees and good jobs and are financially comfortable to find a man who's their equal, especially as she gets older as there are less and less single men.

 

She doesn't want to be your sugar mamma. Can't blame her for asking important, relevant questions.

ditzchic Established Member

ditzchic

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what are you talking about? If you live in philly then there should be PLENTY of legit job postings. I live in NY...in a suburb of NYC...and i see a good number of postings...but either Im under qualified or its not in my field...but you gotta take what you can get in this market. Get on craigslist, indeed.com, and careerbuilding. Loads of jobs between those 3 sites. Indeed is like the google of job boards anyways.

 

Love you to death, K. But I'm in PA too so I know the Philly job market because I've been dabbling in it. Yes, there are listings. There are also a TON of applicants. I'm not sure what field OP is in and how competitive it is but Philly is one of the only cities on the eastern side of the state that is doing OK. Half the state is applying for the jobs in the Philly area. Just because there is availability doesn't make it easy...

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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If a woman was to ask me such a question (few do) I would (and have) mention that I've been gainfully unemployed for xxx (now about 25) years.

 

And that would be an appropriate response, annoyed by her questions or not. Not cursing her out and hanging up on her! ;)

 

You can shut down a conversation topic you feel is uncomfortable or inappropriate many different ways other than cursing a woman out and hanging up on her. Doing it that way just makes you look unstable and weak.

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PhillyDude Established Member

PhillyDude

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After reading all his threads, I really, really don't think so. That said, even if she said it in a bitchy tone, cursing her out and hanging up on her is ridiculous. He won't get far romantically, professionally, or in friendship with his pen pals if that's how he responds to difficult questions.

 

Someone with any sense of personal control would have explained to her in a calm, if not joking way to make her feel silly, why he only spends 15% of his time looking for jobs.

 

At first I was calm and said in a joking tone..."how can i not be serious about finding a job if i live alone and have to pay rent??

 

then her dumb a$$ reply was......."You still get unemployment"

 

 

I said....."Unemployment is not sh*T and I don't want to be on it for long"

 

 

And then from there I was like......"Why am I letting a stranger drill me about my job situation? And that;s when we started arguing

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