CopingGal Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 I would love to get people's opinions. 1-What does it mean to truly love someone? 2-Can you love someone without being attracted to them in any way? 3-Can you love someone without being physically attracted to them? 4-Would you rather love someone who was very passionate but selfish or someone who was very kind but boring? 5-To truly love someone, do you have to accept them fully- even if their personality hurts you (ex: they are insensitive)? Here are my answers: 1- Very, very deep emotions for someone. You long for that person. You'd rather be with that person more than anyone in the whole world. 2- I don't think so. 3- I have been with men that I was not physically attractive to but I was attracted to in other ways. Over time my attraction to them turned physical but it took a long time for that to happen. 4- If I had to make a choice I would prefer the latter to the former, (esp. after what I've just been through). However, it would be best for me to stay away from both 5-That's a hard one. I felt like I really and truly loved my ex when I was with him, but could not accept him because he was so insensitive and lied so much. Did I really, truly love him? I don't know.
perfectlyflawed459 Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 1. Love is raw. It is accepting that person completely despite their "flaws" and seeing the beauty within; beyond what most people see. Love is when every second you spend with that person is even more magical than the previous one. It is when you get that giddy feeling every single time that person simply smiles at you, no matter long you have known them. Love is when you are willing to sacrifice everything just to see that person happy,even if it is at your expense. No matter how many downfalls you have, that person still lights up your world like no one else. It is when you want to give that person the sky, stars, and world; but in the end nothing can really express how much they really mean to you because it is so hard to properly convey it. In the end, real love is unconditional. 2. Like not attracted to them physically or personality wise? If so, then I do not think you can love someone if you are not attracted to some aspect about them. However I am unclear of the question so I cannot give a good answer to this one. 3. When you love someone, you will find them attractive. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so even if other people think he is the most hideous thing on the planet, if you love them you will think otherwise. Sometimes inner beauty shines brighter than outer beauty so yes I believe it is possible to love someone in this manner. 4. I would rather love someone who is very kind but boring. I would try to curb that boring attitude and show them fun haha 5. I think so. After all, isn't that what unconditional love is? Being completely accepting of the other person? For example, although my ex has hurt me in the past and has become more passive with things, I still love him to death and see beyond those problem qualities because I know that deep down he really is a good person.
sao2 Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 1-What does it mean to truly love someone? Truly loving someone and being in love with someone are different. Loving someone is wanting the best for them. Wanting to do the right thing for them. Even if that means you have to get out of their way. It is beyond self-interest at times. Being in love with someone and loving someone are sometimes in conflict. Being in love with someone, that is when every moment is magical. That is being inspired by their mere existence. For the rest of the answers I will assume you meant what I call being in love. 2-Can you love someone without being attracted to them in any way? No, for me, in order to fall in love with a woman I have to feel there is something special about her.That something special will attract me. 3-Can you love someone without being physically attracted to them? Do I love her because she is beautiful or is she beautiful because I love her? I have never fallen in love with someone who I didn't initially find attractive. The one girlfriend who I completely fell for, I did over time find her even more attractive than I did initially but I don't think that counts. 4-Would you rather love someone who was very passionate but selfish or someone who was very kind but boring? Do I have to choose? Passion lends itself to selfishness. As the passion becomes more important than the other people in your life they will feel neglected. I assume you mean passionate towards me. But I don't think that someone could be passionate towards me and then at the same time display inattentiveness. Which is really the deal breaker for me, more than selfishness. I also find kindness, not niceness but kindness, exciting. People who are kind are actually passionate about being kind. A woman like that is the kind of woman I want to build a life with. 5-To truly love someone, do you have to accept them fully- even if their personality hurts you (ex: they are insensitive)? I absolutely hate hate hate when someone throws this idea in my face. I can love someone and not think that a certain behavior is acceptable. A parent loves their child unconditionally and yet still will act accordingly to correct behavior. When I am in a relationship with someone and they act crappy I ask myself if I can live with this sort of behavior for the rest of my life. If my answer is no then I let them know. There are differences between being in love with someone and being able to sustain a relationship with them. You have to be careful with this and really consider if the behavior you don't like is really that bad or not because the other person will claim you are being unreasonable.
Feelin Frisky Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 The shortest answer I can give that is probably most succinct is to find a person that you continue to "want" after you "have" them. Loving is really "wanting". It often starts to fall apart when "having" them is achieved. You like the feeling of "wanting" and you then start "wanting" someone else. How do you "have" someone you've wanted and still feel the same level of want even though you have them? I think the answer is knowing that all people are unique and finding someone else that is just fits like the perfect glove is hard as hell to stumble across again. If you find someone first and then you find that you "want" them, that is much better than "wanting" them before you really know them. If you find yourself "wanting" the person the fate has brought you to and having them does not diminish the "want" you have for them, then you truly love them and you're love will last. You'll know that everything else is just an illusion that tickles your fancy of temporary "want", but you have what you want and there is nothing really worth risking that loss. Oh well, it started off as an intended "short answer".
Author CopingGal Posted January 21, 2012 Author Posted January 21, 2012 I really like the answers people are relpying with. They are interesting and thought provoking. Please keep them coming.
TaraMaiden Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 1-What does it mean to truly love someone? It means understanding that the first 'hello' already contains echoes of the last 'goodbye' and being loving enough to accept it, let it happen, and let them go, but hold them in your heart, at the same time.... 2-Can you love someone without being attracted to them in any way? yes. this is platonic, and I love two men this way. And it's never caused problems. 3-Can you love someone without being physically attracted to them? Yes, ditto above.... 4-Would you rather love someone who was very passionate but selfish or someone who was very kind but boring? The former. I had the latter, and believe me, kind and boring just becomes boring and boring..... 5-To truly love someone, do you have to accept them fully- even if their personality hurts you (ex: they are insensitive)? Yes: when you fall in love with someone, there's that igniting spark of passion; commitment comes later.... 'hurting you' means that anything that rubs you up the wrong way, you're permitting to get to you. However, acceptance does not mean being a doormat. just because somebody is 'some way', doesn't mean you have to enable it, or react submissively. Don't sacrifice yourself for someone else. Uphold your truth, and state it gently, but firmly. One of two things will happen: they will commence change of their own accord, because they value your strength - or they will leave you. which will merely indicate their lack of calibre.
RecordProducer Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 (edited) 1-What does it mean to truly love someone? You're prepared to do crazy things for that person, things you'd never do for anyone, not even for yourself... you admire everything they do... you can't imagine your life without them... you'd help them get rid of a body... 2-Can you love someone without being attracted to them in any way? Nah. 3-Can you love someone without being physically attracted to them? You don't have to find them super-looking but the sexual attraction must be there for as long as you're in love with them. 4-Would you rather love someone who was very passionate but selfish or someone who was very kind but boring? I can't spend more than 2 hours around boring people. 5-To truly love someone, do you have to accept them fully- even if their personality hurts you (ex: they are insensitive)? No! Love is precisely not accepting the painful reality that your partner has rejected you or hurt you. If you accept their poor treatment with a smile, then you don't really care. You're supposed to feel hurt and get sad/angry when they're insensitive toward you - that's love. Now, how you decide to handle your pain is a conscious decision - love isn't. Edited January 25, 2012 by RecordProducer
Author CopingGal Posted May 23, 2012 Author Posted May 23, 2012 Record Producer, I like the things in your signature.
fucpcg Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 1-What does it mean to truly love someone? - Love is the highest form of caring. Love is the persistence of admiration. Love is wishing the best for someone, even when there isn't anything you are getting in return for it. 2-Can you love someone without being attracted to them in any way? - If that were the case, I'd love everyone I walk past on the street. There has to be a reason you love someone. 3-Can you love someone without being physically attracted to them? - What does love have to do with attraction? To go back to something I said above, love is wishing the best for someone even when there isn't anything you are getting in return for it. That can only happen if they are attractive?? 4-Would you rather love someone who was very passionate but selfish or someone who was very kind but boring? - Why would I want either? 5-To truly love someone, do you have to accept them fully - Love is not about finding the perfect person, love is about seeing an imperfect person perfectly. 1
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