kaylan Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 (edited) I found it fascinating. The women were asked a lot of questions after they evaluated the guys, and they often said they wouldn't date a guy because of his money. They said looks were very important. Then it turns out that the guys who were perceived to be richer or have better jobs (there was a correlation to prestigious work too) were perceived to be better looking through some sort of wetware magic. I was all, "what?" Hard to believe. I always thought it was a sort of bonus, a little adder or subtractor, or maybe just add a little. No. In fact guys who were rated 8-9 (1-10) but who were given low incomes and ****ty jobs lost 5-6 points and became 3s and 4s. Guys who were 4-5 and who were given a big income or hot career, ($400K software entrepreneur or MD) jumped a similar amount. I was honestly a little shocked.I doubt those women were thinking solely in terms of sexual attractiveness though. Because once your present occupation, money, and status, itll change anyones overall opinion of someone. If you show most guys two girls...if you tell them one is a famous actress or model...and the other is a waitress somewhere...the model/actress I can assure you will get higher marks. I believe this is whyy plain janes are seen as hot when they are famous in the media. Sarah Palin is average at best, but shes seen as hot because shes a decent looking famous politician. Plus she looks better than many female politicians who are as famous as her. I believe if you take away personal information from the photos you show people, then people rate attractiveness on a more sexual fling level. When you add all the other info I think they rate those same people on a 'dateable partner' level where more things matters. Plus people like having a mate that ranks above others partners from what ive seen. Its like bragging rights and proof of their own value. Edited January 22, 2012 by kaylan
silvermercy Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Unless I was a gold-digger, I'd never date an older guy with a big age gap no matter how rich he was. It just has the "yikes" factor. It just has... Some women prefer older guys indeed (but not with huge age gaps mind you) because they're more mature as a personality and, thus, they feel these men are less likely to play them, dump them etc. They are also able to offer them more stability within a relationship than many younger guys. But again we're not talking about huge age gaps here. So younger women are still physically attracted to their slightly older partners. As a side note, I would also be very cautious of a man that consistently chased way much younger women than him. On this occasion, the maturity and stability that women seek (by dating slightly older men) would not be valid anymore for obvious reasons. A 60 year old who mostly chases 20 and 30 year olds does not exhibit a lot of maturity for his age and makes him the equivalent of a 20 or 30 year old player (minus the looks) - a man most women try to avoid. For that 60 year old a gold-digger would be like a match made in heaven (or hell).
KathyM Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 People die or get divorced or otherwise screw up their parenting responsibilities all the time. It's not he sole providence of the older partner. True, but at least when people divorce, they do often stay active in their children's lives. But I see what you're saying--better to have an old guy for a father than an absentee dad or a screwed up dad. None of those cases is a good thing. I would think men would hate it if people assume he's his wife's father, or his children's grandpa. It would make him feel old. Or if a younger woman gets asked by people, "Is that your dad?" would get pretty embarrassing sometimes. They would assume the woman can't get anyone better, or that she's a golddigger.
Feelin Frisky Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 This is yet another question that ignores the reality that all people are unique individuals and thus have their own motivations, charms and characters. It takes a small exception to the general rule that younger women don't generally marry geriatric men. Men can be in fine function form and fitness well into their 70's--my uncle just turned 75 and he can kick ass, take names and run up mountains. James Doohan (Scotty from Start Trek) fathered a child at 83. When you see that people are unique and really come to grips with what that means and you make it out of childhood yourself and get real with the precariousness of life, you realize that you don't have forever to keep dismissing everyone who isn't perfect and living TODAY means loving who is real and who is love worthy. Artificial ideas about age are for parents to tell their kids but grown-ups oft times find qualities in one person that they never find in a million others no matter how young and better-looking they might be. It's about WHO people are and not what their demographic is that often determines if someone lets themselves be loved by someone else outside of the pedagogical handbook.
Feelin Frisky Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 (edited) double post because this server is acting like molasses in January Edited January 22, 2012 by Feelin Frisky
123321 Posted January 23, 2012 Posted January 23, 2012 I doubt those women were thinking solely in terms of sexual attractiveness though. Because once your present occupation, money, and status, itll change anyones overall opinion of someone. All true but as I wrote, they were SPECIFICALLY asked to only rate them on their looks. Something made them unconsciously skew the results and say the better employed or higher status men were also better looking. So taking this into consideration, when women say they are into looks, what does that mean?
FitChick Posted January 23, 2012 Posted January 23, 2012 I had no idea there were so many famous older women/younger men marriages and relationships until I found this website. Mary Tyler Moore and her 18 years younger doctor husband have been married nearly 30 years. He was a young, handsome doctor when they met, not exactly desperate for dates. You can see that, just like same age couples, they marry and stay married, get divorced or date for years without marriage. They are human like everybody else. Some make it work and others don't. That's life.
Feelin Frisky Posted January 23, 2012 Posted January 23, 2012 I had no idea there were so many famous older women/younger men marriages and relationships until I found this website. Mary Tyler Moore and her 18 years younger doctor husband have been married nearly 30 years. He was a young, handsome doctor when they met, not exactly desperate for dates. You can see that, just like same age couples, they marry and stay married, get divorced or date for years without marriage. They are human like everybody else. Some make it work and others don't. That's life. Right. One can't love a resume--just real persons who are around when you are and sometimes one deserving lady or chap happens to have made a dozen or so trips around the sun more than you. They have interesting perspectives that go beyond dollars and cents.
RecordProducer Posted January 23, 2012 Posted January 23, 2012 I used to be attracted to much older guys.My first husband was 12 years older, my second 18 years older than me. Now I feel around 10 years older is the maximum I would go for. I have plenty of younger guys hitting on me, so I could go for a younger one, as well, if I found a suitable guy. Guys in their 50s turn me off now unless they look like movie stars and much younger than their age.
kaylan Posted January 23, 2012 Posted January 23, 2012 All true but as I wrote, they were SPECIFICALLY asked to only rate them on their looks. Something made them unconsciously skew the results and say the better employed or higher status men were also better looking. So taking this into consideration, when women say they are into looks, what does that mean? I already explained this. Its the same reason why once a man or woman becomes famous, people start calling them more attractive even though most ignored them when they were regular people.
FitChick Posted January 23, 2012 Posted January 23, 2012 Its the same reason why once a man or woman becomes famous, people start calling them more attractive even though most ignored them when they were regular people. Sarah Jessica Parker. Cate Blanchett said she couldn't get roles early on because she was told she wasn't pretty enough. Now she laughs at being called "beautiful" as she's gotten more successful. I like a woman with common sense.
Oxy Moronovich Posted January 23, 2012 Posted January 23, 2012 Sarah Jessica Parker. Cate Blanchett said she couldn't get roles early on because she was told she wasn't pretty enough. Now she laughs at being called "beautiful" as she's gotten more successful. I like a woman with common sense. Who told her she wasn't pretty enough, a few people or the majority of the people on Earth? Common sense would tell you it's wrong to listen to a few people when they comment on your looks. A similar thing happened to a cousin of mine. She grew up in a small town with only a few hundred people in her high school. She never went to prom and guys told her she wasn't pretty. When she went to a big college with thousands of people she was told she was attractive by several guys. She refused to believe it because she had let the small minds of the small town high schoolers. I hate it when women think like this. They want to listen to the negative comments of a few people but will refuse to listen to the positive comments of others. These women do not have common sense.
kaylan Posted January 23, 2012 Posted January 23, 2012 Sarah Jessica Parker. Cate Blanchett said she couldn't get roles early on because she was told she wasn't pretty enough. Now she laughs at being called "beautiful" as she's gotten more successful. I like a woman with common sense. Lol Sarah Jessica Parker is kinda weird looking lol. But both ladies are average-ish by hollywood standards. Robert Pattinson said the same thing Cate said. He said girls always used to just ignore him and now all of a sudden hes winning all these top spots in "hot guy lists" Hell Im super average myself but I know fame would make me or anyone hot stuff in a second. So im still gonna try and get famous
tangerinetrees Posted January 23, 2012 Posted January 23, 2012 I am open to dating a wide variety of men, but find older men particularly attractive and it has absolutely nothing to do with money or job status. Mostly, its that older men have had plenty of life experiences to share and can relate to me better than younger men for the most part. Physically, I find older men just as attractive if not sexier than younger men. Might be just because I know just how well an older man knows how to rock a woman's body (again, for the most part)!!! I am currently super interested in a man 22 years older than me. I am 27 and he's sexy as all get out. We'll see what happens.
FitChick Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 Who told her she wasn't pretty enough, a few people or the majority of the people on Earth? Common sense would tell you it's wrong to listen to a few people when they comment on your looks. They want to listen to the negative comments of a few people but will refuse to listen to the positive comments of others. These women do not have common sense. You seemed to have missed the point. Cate doesn't believe her own publicity, good or bad. She is grounded, knows her strengths and weaknesses, knows this is how the business works. Obviously it was casting agents who wouldn't give her a chance early in her career. Of course now she has the last laugh, making millions. Not a typical woman by a long shot.
USMCHokie Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 I assume that women my age or younger are still full of themselves and only appreciate certain qualities in men.
Star Gazer Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 Beyond the ick factor, and knowing their old enough to be my own parent (and they've likely had parental feelings towards me ), I have a problem with the idea of being a grandparent when I'm under 45, nevermind under 30... which is what marrying someone significantly older with adult children would be like.
123321 Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 I already explained this. Its the same reason why once a man or woman becomes famous, people start calling them more attractive even though most ignored them when they were regular people. As a guy who appreciates lovely women, I have to disagree; I don't find women any better looking if they have a good job or celebrity, although many women have celebrity or good jobs due to being lovely. When the same experiment was done on men, the women didn't shift around much, in fact. Men are wired differently from women when it comes to attraction, according to both science and my experience.
doushenka Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 Maybe my wiring's off, then, because the guys I've had the hardest time getting out of my head have been, at minimum, ten to fifteen years my senior; most have had twenty to thirty years on me. Ranges from celebrity crushes to the one actual long-term relationship that has gone anywhere (3.5 years with a man who's 26 years older). As long as I can remember, I have related better to older men than to men my age. I did try with guys my age, but it always crashed and burned. We always had wildly different tastes, or I was too liberal, or I was too hard-nosed. Just because I thought that boy was odd for crying over a dinner reservation! I guess by association, then, I'm not attracted to--what was it? Youth and vitality? Because those attributes have never gone with the kind of men who had anything in common with me. Darling Man is still young and vital enough at 52, thanks. Actually, he's doing better than I am.
kaylan Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 (edited) As a guy who appreciates lovely women, I have to disagree; I don't find women any better looking if they have a good job or celebrity, although many women have celebrity or good jobs due to being lovely. When the same experiment was done on men, the women didn't shift around much, in fact. Men are wired differently from women when it comes to attraction, according to both science and my experience. You are but one person. All we simply have to do is look at the masses and see how fame affects an ordinary persons attractiveness, male or female. Sarah Jessica Parker is far from lovely. So is Queen Latifah. But both have had pretty good careers that their looks didnt get started. Yet Parker used to be touted very highly during the hey day of Sex and the City...and Queen Latifah all of a sudden became the plus size glamour girl several years back. She landed a bunch of movie roles and wound up in a bunch of make up commercials. If you take less than average girl whos at least slim bodied, give her a guitar, and then make her band famous...guys will be saying how beautiful and hot she is no doubt. I would bet my life on that. I think you underestimate the power of nurture (social conditioning). An uncited study isnt worth much tbh. Yes, men and women are wired differently, but we have more similarities than people think. There are numerous reports out now too that say women are as sexual as men, and its natural for them to be as promiscuous as our primate cousins. Even seeking out lower status mates for romps a lot of the time. All this behavior regarding resources is holdover from times where women barely had their own resources. As time goes on and we continue to study human sexuality, we do see many women reacting to visuals as much as men. And we see more guys caring about a womans status. Read this: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/19/us/19marriage.html In 1970, 4 percent of husbands had wives who made more money; in 2007, 22 percent did. Dynamics are shifting. Things begin to equalize in egalitarian societies. Edited January 24, 2012 by kaylan
123321 Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 Maybe my wiring's off, then, because the guys I've had the hardest time getting out of my head have been, at minimum, ten to fifteen years my senior; most have had twenty to thirty years on me. Nah, some people just let Hollywood tell them how to live. My current GF is 20+ years my junior and she's giving every indication of adoring me; I know I love her a lot.
Star Gazer Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 I have to agree about SJP. I watched an old re-run of the very first episode of SATC, and I was blown away by how unattractive her face was. She has a good body, but that's about it.
KathyM Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 I think when women are young, that middle aged man who is still good looking, has an established career, lots of experiences, maturity, and better sexual skills than younger men might seem more attractive, but once the woman approaches middle age and she is still good looking, established career, still very sexual with plenty of energy, and her guy is retired, old, with failing health, lower libido and lower energy level, that attractiveness quotient is not going to be there. That is when the age gap is going to be the most problem for them.
123321 Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 All we simply have to do is look at the masses and see how fame affects an ordinary persons attractiveness, male or female. Fame is a very extreme special case, and I've not seen any studies on it at all. The once I did see tested for income, occupation, and several other things, and found little correlation with most of them for female attractiveness.
USMCHokie Posted January 24, 2012 Posted January 24, 2012 I have to agree about SJP. I watched an old re-run of the very first episode of SATC, and I was blown away by how unattractive her face was. She has a good body, but that's about it. I also find her incredibly unremarkable.
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