CLS63AMG Posted January 20, 2012 Posted January 20, 2012 (edited) Unfortunately I was left earlier today from what was a pretty loving relationship (or so I thought). I am 31 she is 25 which I'd think worked OK but I believe that maturity was the reason the relationship fell apart. She hit me last night with a vengeance of what seemed like months of bottled up tension which involved her wanting me to go to University. Well, I already spent 4 years and tens of thousands on College so I am not about to go to University at age 31. She wanted me to get a bigger place and yadda yadda. I believe much of this came from her mothers saying, or at least she made it sound as such "I told my mom you went to college instead of university and she said she wasn't happy about it". Her mother dates a guy that wears a bluetooth ear piece 24/7 and drives a rusted junk $300 car. We agree'd to meet today (via chat last night) and talk things over but it didnt even get that far "I've thought about it and want out"...over the phone. She thinks that in the future I will have to be a University grad like her, and that we will end up 2 different classes of people? I am in Marketing ..she's in school to be a Teacher, or Nurse or Psychiatrist (it changed 3 times in the time we were together). Meanwhile she's currently on academic probation and judging by how many classes she skips (including mid term tests) she wont even be graduating as she so believes. She also never had a red cent to her name, I paid for the dinners, dates, vacations,..everything, never complained either. She also didnt have a drivers license and never showed any motivation towards getting one "I hate driving". I always hated knowing it was really her mom that was paying for my Christmas/B-day presents or for anything she ever had money for. I just find myself awestruck that I am the one that gets the boot for apparently not being good enough? Don't make me paint her out to be a bum or anything, she's a pretty girl with a great mind and we always had great times but she did have constant mood swings and an underlying Daddy issue that can't be ignored (her mom took her and brother away from father in home Country 10 years ago, and they havent seen him since). To be 1000% honest, I really didnt see that bright of a future between us. She was in a bad mood 75% of the time (ironically I'd ask if it was anything to do with me and she would say "Why it be you? I am just moody"). The moodiness was off-the-charts the week before her period...oh boy. So like many before me, and many that will be after me. I sit here "dumped" without a true explanation. This was the girl that always spoke about when we would get married, our wedding etc. As recent as two weeks ago, literally. I already understand that communication was a large issue, I would always tell her, ask her, beg her to let me know of anything that was bothering her. She wouldn't and sometimes would just think I had to just know what was wrong or something. Edited January 20, 2012 by CLS63AMG
seibert253 Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 You're right, there was no future with her. She sounds very immature. You should get down on your knees and thank God this ended before you M'd her and had kids. When she comes crawling back, because chances are she will, don't be a tool and entertain getting back with her. I can tell in your post that you were unhappy with your relationship, and with her. You just didn't want to admit it.
Author CLS63AMG Posted January 21, 2012 Author Posted January 21, 2012 (edited) You're right, there was no future with her. She sounds very immature. You should get down on your knees and thank God this ended before you M'd her and had kids. When she comes crawling back, because chances are she will, don't be a tool and entertain getting back with her. I can tell in your post that you were unhappy with your relationship, and with her. You just didn't want to admit it. I appreciate your words, they mean a lot and go a long way in trying to get over this as quickly as possible. The only thing, in my last text I asked her to delete anyone that is linked to me (my mom and a few friends) from her facebook before she went and de-activated like she said. Nope. She just deactivated it without deleting anyone, so when she puts it back up whenever, she'll be able to spy on my profile or do whatever before I notice its back up. That may sound childish, but privacy is privacy and I dont share it with people that are not in my circle. **Also, your sig line it GOLD. I had a lot of extra disposable cash lying around before this witch came along, now not so much. Edited January 21, 2012 by CLS63AMG
Teuen101 Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 sounds like she had nothing to do with her life and was living her life threw yours. she got bored with no life of her own.
Woggle Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 It sounds like you are better off without her.
Author CLS63AMG Posted January 21, 2012 Author Posted January 21, 2012 (edited) I am happy, should be scarey its night #1 without her but this is my honest feeling....I could care less. All my buddies are laughing at her University BS her family had for me. Going 4-wheeling and ice fishing at my bro's for "as long as I like". Which is a big thing, you need good old friends in these challenges. Thankful I have them. Thanks for the words fellas...Ill help you when you are in need too Edited January 21, 2012 by CLS63AMG
CopingGal Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 She sounds like a bombaclot. You can do better.
Author CLS63AMG Posted January 21, 2012 Author Posted January 21, 2012 sounds like she had nothing to do with her life and was living her life threw yours. she got bored with no life of her own. Wow, I never even caught on to this but the more I think you are exactly right. There hadn't been a trip in awhile or anything exciting, things got lax and I didnt think anything of it really, in a normal relationship it wouldnt matter unless you are being an entertainer for some loser with nothing going on in their own life. She would also talk a big game but never once capitalized on anything, it was pathetic really. Her brother would say he wanted to skiing in the mountains and she would say "Ill take you there for your birthday". I would sit there and think, How? No car or license, no job or money...is mommy gonna pay? Pretty sad and that was only one case, there were numerous.
Author CLS63AMG Posted January 21, 2012 Author Posted January 21, 2012 She sounds like a bombaclot. You can do better. Yes she was, and always seemed pretty ungrateful but thats common for someone that has always had everything handed to them. They just learn to expect things. The more I think of it though her mom did indeed pushed this. In her culture the man is supposed to be a Doctor or Lawyer and be well educated. Well, if love wasn't enough from a kind and hospitable boyfriend I dont know what is. Pretty stupid if you ask me.
coopster Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 Yes she was, and always seemed pretty ungrateful but thats common for someone that has always had everything handed to them. They just learn to expect things. The more I think of it though her mom did indeed pushed this. In her culture the man is supposed to be a Doctor or Lawyer and be well educated. Well, if love wasn't enough from a kind and hospitable boyfriend I dont know what is. Pretty stupid if you ask me. yeah it is stupid...why didn`t she( her mum) push her ( i.e her daughter??? ) then .sexism is not a `male` term
Exit Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 A relationship falling apart at the 1.5 year mark with a girl in her mid 20s. Sounds pretty typical. It's an age where a lot of girls like to talk about marriage and future but don't care enough to put in the work to actually make it there. (Sorry if I offend any females with my broad generalization there, but this has just been my experience). You're better off.
Philosoraptor Posted January 23, 2012 Posted January 23, 2012 She sounds very immature and seems to lack her own mind if she is letting mommy decide what is good for her. From what it sounds like you have made a pretty good life for yourself and her mommy expects more for her daughter. It's your ex's job to make her life better as one should never go into things expecting to rely on the other person. I was with an unhappy person for almost 5 years. It destroyed my optimism (I am a natural bubbly person) and left me in quite a depressive pit. Once I put my foot down and she decided she couldn't be with me I've found my happiness again and I'm just loving every minute of life again. To your later response... who cares if she cyberstalks you? That is her issue not yours. You work on moving on and pay her no mind.
Author CLS63AMG Posted January 23, 2012 Author Posted January 23, 2012 (edited) She sounds very immature and seems to lack her own mind if she is letting mommy decide what is good for her. From what it sounds like you have made a pretty good life for yourself and her mommy expects more for her daughter. It's your ex's job to make her life better as one should never go into things expecting to rely on the other person. I was with an unhappy person for almost 5 years. It destroyed my optimism (I am a natural bubbly person) and left me in quite a depressive pit. Once I put my foot down and she decided she couldn't be with me I've found my happiness again and I'm just loving every minute of life again. To your later response... who cares if she cyberstalks you? That is her issue not yours. You work on moving on and pay her no mind. Yes, this is the part that bothered me. She allowed her mother to decide our fate. Even when together she would say "all I need to survive is my mom" almost as a mock to me or something. She never paid for anything at all. To top it off she would talk a big game on how she was such an independent person but was 1000% reliant on her mom for everything ( I think that was a cover-up because she knew how dependent she was). The funny thing is they live in an apartment building, her mom is overweight and disgusting yet they preach all this high class BS. Living in a dream world!! I am also a bubbly, good mood person and I will admit her antics brought me down on multiple occasions. Starting to be glad she's gone and that its over. I've removed all pictures, clothes and reminders and am moving forward now. Edited January 23, 2012 by CLS63AMG
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