jlmirish Posted June 2, 2004 Posted June 2, 2004 I stumbled on to this website by accident this morning and found the replies helpful!! I was having trouble posting my previous message, so I thought I would try it again as I am hoping someone can help me. I have been dating someone seriously for about three months and have fallen in love quite hard (we are both 32). Recently he went away on business to NC for 2 weeks in a different state (I am in NY). While he was there he was offered a position and is required to make a year commitment to the job. There is a strong possibility that he will stay there permanently. However, he is close to his family am so I know he will be visiting NY regularly. We just found out about this and have started talking about it; He thinks we should not see each other romantically any longer since he doesn't want me waiting for him etc. However, I know if he was staying we would have continued the relationship and would have let it develop naturally. I don't want to be the typical girl chasing a guy, but I want to be realistic--I know I started caring about him quickly and he was hesitant about jumping into the relationship. He has talked about his previous relationships and has been hurt before. I don't want to add the pressure on him but obviously I don't want to break up with him completely, I would like to keep a close relationship as friends and just see what develops. Both of us are going to be hurt in this process anyway if we cut it off now. He has three weeks before he has to move there and the thought of not spending time with him is just too painful. Should I ask him if he cares enough or sees enough potential in our relationship to wait or is breaking it off now better in the long run? Please help! J
sportsloving Posted June 2, 2004 Posted June 2, 2004 It doesn't appear you have much to lose if you do ask him. He is already saying that he doesn't think you should continue romantically if when he moves (so you w on't be waiting around) but you feel your relationship could continue. Tell him how you feel, the worse that will happen is that he will just say what he already has. I hope he takes the time to really get to know you and gives your relationship a chance. I wish you lots of luck
Author jlmirish Posted June 4, 2004 Author Posted June 4, 2004 Thanks for you advice. I am meeting him at 1:30 pm and will try being honest and not too clingy and emotional. I know he has been hurt before and he would rather break it off since it is so painful for him to leave his family and friends and it would be easier for him to leave with no ties. I also know he doesn't want to hurt me and thinks this would be better for me in the long run. Obviously if he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me--friends or otherwise--then it won't work and somehow I will have to let him go. Right now that seems too painful to face.
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