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Dating the Mayor


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Posted

Not much going on recently, so I offer this reflection from 4 years ago. I was on my way home from a failed date (her fault). I took a curve too fast and hit a utility pole very hard (my fault). I ended up in intensive care in the nearest big city (Hartford). I awoke to find the Mayor of my town (pop 60,000)at my side. She told me "everythings gonna be OK Gold Pile". I'm not active politically, the only time I ever "met" her was when I groped her at her election night victory party. The idea was that she wouldn't know the groper, and so she didn't see me.

 

She promptly left , saying "you'll be fine Mr Pile". I told the Doctors that I felt fine, they said all the tests confirmed I was just that. In walked a couple of my relatives, they said the Mayor had called them. I was ready to walk out but they asked me to wait for wheel chair service. I clicked on the TV, there was the Mayor on the News at Noon saying that Mr. Pile was gonna be alright. Truth be told....I'm not a really popular guy (no really, it's true), I couldn't imagine why the News would care about my minor accident.

 

At home, a few days later, the Mayor came over to see how I was doing. I knew something was up, and I guessed that Mrs Mayor was horny for some Gold Pile action. I asked her out on a lunch date, she looked very flattered but said no. She turned down a dinner date with the same wide smile. I know how to read women, I made my move to kiss her. Our lips had barely met when she whirled me around and slammed my head against the wall. Pretty impressive but in my defense I wasn't at all prepared to be attacked in such a warm moment.

 

Such mixed signals, I'll never really know what was up with her.

Posted

She wants you. Do you still want her 4 years later? Or did she get voted out of office?

Posted
She wants you. Do you still want her 4 years later? Or did she get voted out of office?

I beg to differ. She clearly was hoping that the OP would die or at least suffer a catastrophic injury so she could use the tragic incident for free publicity by appareling sympathetic and everything.

Posted
I know how to read women
If a woman slams your head into a wall, it's a clear sign that you DON'T know how to read them.

Unless she is a dominatrix.

Posted

I was Mayor of Chipping Sodbury 4 years ago.

The closest similar thing that happened to me was that a local resident's prize sheetzu* bitch was 'got at' by the village mongrel stray....

 

She bit his balls off when he'd finished.

 

looks like you got off lightly.....

 

(I know the dog breed* is spelled incorrectly...but the auto-profanity edit kicked in....!!)

  • Author
Posted
I was Mayor of Chipping Sodbury 4 years ago.

The closest similar thing that happened to me was that a local resident's prize sheetzu* bitch was 'got at' by the village mongrel stray....

 

She bit his balls off when he'd finished.

 

looks like you got off lightly.....

 

(I know the dog breed* is spelled incorrectly...but the auto-profanity edit kicked in....!!)

I've been ball kicked and face slapped by more women than I can count. Punched and kicked elsewhere too. Items thrown at me. But I did get off lightly compared to that dog.
Posted
I was Mayor of Chipping Sodbury 4 years ago.

The closest similar thing that happened to me was that a local resident's prize sheetzu* bitch was 'got at' by the village mongrel stray....

 

She bit his balls off when he'd finished.

 

looks like you got off lightly.....

 

(I know the dog breed* is spelled incorrectly...but the auto-profanity edit kicked in....!!)

 

You DO tell a good story, TM.

 

I've been ball kicked and face slapped by more women than I can count. Punched and kicked elsewhere too. Items thrown at me. But I did get off lightly compared to that dog.

 

Mr. Pile,

Why not give the old girl a ringadingding?

See what's up in her "district"?

I've only used extreme violence on men I'm completely taken with.

Posted
I've only used extreme violence on men I'm completely taken with.

 

Are you flirting with GP ? :laugh:....

 

GP... I think C might hurt you real bad.... just a fair warning..;)

Posted
Are you flirting with GP ? :laugh:....

 

GP... I think C might hurt you real bad.... just a fair warning..;)

 

:laugh:

Nope, no flirting.

I'm happily locked down for now.

 

In my singley moments though, I'd bruise his kind good!

Posted

I'm happily locked down for now.

 

No kidding... good for you and lucky guy

Posted (edited)
No kidding... good for you and lucky guy

 

Thanking!

Moment by moment.

 

I hope Gold Pile's going to pull through this bout of nostalgia he's currently wrestling.

The unknown.

Can keep one up at night.

I know it did me.

Edited by cerridwen
Posted
I've been ball kicked and face slapped by more women than I can count. Punched and kicked elsewhere too. Items thrown at me.

 

And you still think you're good at reading women? After a while you should, at least, know when to duck.

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Posted
And you still think you're good at reading women? After a while you should, at least, know when to duck.
I've done my share of ducking and running away. I once ran through my screen door to avoid a wet sponge that was thrown at me. Cot me a pretty penny to fix that door later.
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