without Posted January 19, 2012 Posted January 19, 2012 (edited) Some months ago,I've made a friend.He's male,I'm female.he is like very talented and an artist,painter,knows about different great stuff,great taste in music , films and clothing..we have like ALOT in common,i never met anyone like him,and we were getting so close.but there are big big problems, at first i thought he's kindda shy,he said he is too ,well he is,but there's more than that,I'm sociable and become friend very quickly if I like ppl.about a month after we first met,I asked him out but he said no.later he said he doesn't want to date anyone not just me for some time[he hasn't come out of a bad relationship,either].i kindda felt like i either asked too soon,cuz he obviously is not so social like me,or he doesn't like me that way.matter of fact ,when we talked about what a girl he likes ,like many of them are in me,both physically and mentally.we went on being just friends but i love him..when i tell him i miss him sometimes he seems so happy to hear it but many times he just tells me not to say it,and when i ask why?he has nothing to say.its about some weeks that he stays at his house and doesn't come out or comes online,when i ask why he says he's not in the mood,he doesn't answer my texts sometimes...[before he except a couple of times never texts me first ]and i asked him if he doesn't like me just say it..but he says he doesn't have any problem with me i'm good and its cool that i text him but he's just not feeling well...well i kindda feel frustrated.he sometimes updates his fb and stuff,though..I saw his weblog some time ago and seems like as he says he has depression.and a disease that he hasn't named it,hmm..probably physically for the clues ...[He looks perfectly normal in person]could it be that because of his sickness he doesn't express anything or he just doesn't like me?... Edited January 19, 2012 by without
Author without Posted January 19, 2012 Author Posted January 19, 2012 by the way he hasn't told me directly about the diseases,I dropped a hint but got the feeling he's not comfortable talking about these things so i stopped.and about being shy he's like shy about expressing like ,love and stuff,he's not the kind to sit around,he can actually be quite rude sometimes,lol.
creighton0123 Posted January 19, 2012 Posted January 19, 2012 First: Write in paragraphs. It is also appropriate to place a space after each comma and two spaces after each sentence. Periods. Use them. Second: Slow down, crazy. Slow down. A disease he has could very well be acid reflux disease for all you know. He could be allergic to gluten or discovered that he has an iron-deficiency. If you are approaching him like you are speed-writing, you may very well be overwhelming him. Third: He was clear in saying that he's not in a place in his life where he is interested in romance. Take his word for that, otherwise you may end up driving him away and losing him as a friend.
Author without Posted January 19, 2012 Author Posted January 19, 2012 Lol,yes sure.I'm sorry. Thanks for your answer. I know he said that,but it still is confusing why he wants to keep me as a friend while even telling him I miss him,makes him upset...
hativelchas Posted January 25, 2012 Posted January 25, 2012 I'm sorry for your guy friend, if he is really dealing with depression and something else, he is really not in a position to even consider starting a new romance. And I know from own experience (I've battled serious depression some years ago) how frustrating it can feel to want something but to be powerless to even accept it into your life... I can also relate because I have a guy friend who is very much like yours: talented artist, we have a lot in common and I'm very fond of him. I've known him for almost five years and during this times he's had countless ups and downs. One day he can be a wonderful, cheerful friend, the heart of the party, then uncommunicative, grumpy and even rude the next day. He had me sick with worry many times when I couldn't reach him by phone/e-mail couldn't find him at home for days in a row, because I could only imagine the worst. My friend has had recurrent problems with drug use and (consequently) anger, money, family related issues, so I can never be without worry that he didn't get himself into trouble. He's also had a string of failed relationship (IMO poor judgement in choosing his partners) and even more meaningless flings that left him feeling even emptier... What's more, my husband doesn't like our friendship a bit and thinks that this friend of mine is a lost cause :-/ And even I got fed up with him on a few occasions and felt like saying 'to hell with it, I don't need all this drama, I've got my own life to deal with', but... I couldn't just abandon him when I know that what he needs most is a friend who truly and selflessly cares about him. And it takes tons of patience and motivation to not give up on someone like that when you feel that you only want the best for them and they keep rejecting you. You've known your guy friend for only some months, so it's up to you to weigh the pros and cons of sticking to your guns and decide if it's worth the hassle. It might take a little or a lot of time and patience from your part until he feels comfortable enough to let you in.
Author without Posted February 1, 2012 Author Posted February 1, 2012 I'm sorry for your guy friend, if he is really dealing with depression and something else, he is really not in a position to even consider starting a new romance. And I know from own experience (I've battled serious depression some years ago) how frustrating it can feel to want something but to be powerless to even accept it into your life... I can also relate because I have a guy friend who is very much like yours: talented artist, we have a lot in common and I'm very fond of him. I've known him for almost five years and during this times he's had countless ups and downs. One day he can be a wonderful, cheerful friend, the heart of the party, then uncommunicative, grumpy and even rude the next day. He had me sick with worry many times when I couldn't reach him by phone/e-mail couldn't find him at home for days in a row, because I could only imagine the worst. My friend has had recurrent problems with drug use and (consequently) anger, money, family related issues, so I can never be without worry that he didn't get himself into trouble. He's also had a string of failed relationship (IMO poor judgement in choosing his partners) and even more meaningless flings that left him feeling even emptier... What's more, my husband doesn't like our friendship a bit and thinks that this friend of mine is a lost cause :-/ And even I got fed up with him on a few occasions and felt like saying 'to hell with it, I don't need all this drama, I've got my own life to deal with', but... I couldn't just abandon him when I know that what he needs most is a friend who truly and selflessly cares about him. And it takes tons of patience and motivation to not give up on someone like that when you feel that you only want the best for them and they keep rejecting you. You've known your guy friend for only some months, so it's up to you to weigh the pros and cons of sticking to your guns and decide if it's worth the hassle. It might take a little or a lot of time and patience from your part until he feels comfortable enough to let you in. hey thanks so much for your answer. the thing is I've started to give up,and feel like somehow maybe he's ignoring me because he doesn't like me or sth... he's using anti depressant meds but his disease is sth else.at first I thought it's depression but now i know it isn't. anyway he goes out with friends ,does his usual stuff...but is ignoring me,just some texts every now and then..and he's acting mean... I blamed it all on his depression but now I don't know what his motives are ...and i kindda feel like maybe he doesn't like me...although he said it's not that...
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