Author Titania22 Posted January 19, 2012 Author Posted January 19, 2012 On a more serious note, I think you have quite a nerve calling that 37 yo boring. I mean H.S. have you read your post outloud?? The only thing i wrote about the date with the 37yr old was that he was dull and went for a kiss at the end of the date. Nothing else in my post was about him. The only thing I remember him telling me about himself on the date was that he is a highschool english teacher. He spent the rest of the date asking me questions about myself, and I felt interrogated and uncomfortable at the end, because I had shared more then I wanted to. And my lesson from that date was, to be careful not to share so much on a first date. So I don't why i have a nerve to call that guy dull. Changed it for you. YW. Thankyou Stargazer, but lets skip the ambition part ok. I have no ambition and I find the idea horrible that only people with ambition are worthy of relationships.
Star Gazer Posted January 19, 2012 Posted January 19, 2012 Thankyou Stargazer, but lets skip the ambition part ok. I have no ambition ... Which explains why you want someone without any. Yeah, you're not going to find many mature, successful men in their 30's who have no ambition. So, I guess you're stuck.
Author Titania22 Posted January 19, 2012 Author Posted January 19, 2012 Which explains why you want someone without any. Yeah, you're not going to find many mature, successful men in their 30's who have no ambition. So, I guess you're stuck. I don't mind if he has ambition, so long he doesn't mind that i don't.
Dust Posted January 19, 2012 Posted January 19, 2012 Titania22 we all know you're afraid of dirty old men. You like to feel in control and freeze up when a man makes a move on you. Thats probably why you're afraid of older men. You also do seem traumatized as you said from being hit on as a young girl by married fathers. I can tell you this Titania your preferences arn't shared by my experiences. I'll be 30 in a few years and the older I get the more and more it seems women pay attention to me. Just date younger men if thats your thing and stop worrying about it. You're a woman some older man will catch your smell and wear you down. Then he'll have his way with you and maybe you'll like it!
Author Titania22 Posted January 19, 2012 Author Posted January 19, 2012 I have been in a slump lately, and making this thread and reading your responses has made me feel better, and more empowered. Thankyou Everyone
Dust Posted January 19, 2012 Posted January 19, 2012 I have been in a slump lately, and making this thread and reading your responses has made me feel better, and more empowered. Thankyou Everyone you're not welcome! now get out there and enjoy your middle ages
Anela Posted January 19, 2012 Posted January 19, 2012 I have been in a slump lately, and making this thread and reading your responses has made me feel better, and more empowered. Thankyou Everyone I'm glad to hear that you feel better!
phineas Posted January 19, 2012 Posted January 19, 2012 Titania22 we all know you're afraid of dirty old men. You like to feel in control and freeze up when a man makes a move on you. Thats probably why you're afraid of older men. You also do seem traumatized as you said from being hit on as a young girl by married fathers. I can tell you this Titania your preferences arn't shared by my experiences. I'll be 30 in a few years and the older I get the more and more it seems women pay attention to me. Just date younger men if thats your thing and stop worrying about it. You're a woman some older man will catch your smell and wear you down. Then he'll have his way with you and maybe you'll like it! This. I just turned 40 & over the summer a crazy amount of women from early 20's to mid 30's were hitting on me when I went out. I even get 30yr old's winking at me on Match.com. But, they they tell me their looking for a husband & kids & i'm past that point in my life. I'm not going to waste their time. I was only legally divorced about 1 1/2yrs ago & separated another yr before that. No way in hell i'd marry someone without knowing them at least 3yrs & by then I seriously do not want to be having a kid at that age. I'm just getting my youngest out of diapers & I do not want to go through that again.
zengirl Posted January 19, 2012 Posted January 19, 2012 My automatic assumptions about men my age They are boring They are set in their ways They let their bodies go They have little to no idea how to dress in a way that flatters their physique They are pragmatic (so many things i am thinking of seem to fit under the heading of pragmatic, this seems like the biggest one to me, because it encompasses so much) They are narrow minded They have forgotten how to see the world in a magical and wondrous way They don't like silliness They are goal oriented, to the point of not being able to just go with the flow. I think that is all. Please help! I think liking silliness and seeing the world in a magical and wondrous ways are something you either lose as a kid or keep forever. My step-father is still the biggest optimist I know, and he's well over your age range. I know many silly men in that age range, etc. I think people, if they're going to become cynical, become cynical much younger than 30. The same with narrow-minded; I don't think age has much effect. If anything, some people have experiences that lead them to open up and others that lead them to close up. As to set in their ways, relationship-wise, I do think that may be an issue over 30. But many still make adjustments for their SOs. It's just harder if you've been single a long time. That said, not all men that age would've been single the WHOLE time, so it depends. I love pragmatism, so I don't get that one. I also don't think being goal oriented is a bad thing. Of course, as we get older, and time narrows in front of us, we realize we really can't have it all and we need to prioritize. But plenty of older people can still flow at times; they usually just need to have their general lives together, which is a good thing! As to the appearance things, I think it's probably true that many men that age stop taking care of themselves, but mostly the married ones. Or maybe divorced ones who WERE married. Granted, sometimes hair falls out and it's harder to stay as fit, as you age. . . that's just a truth. But 30 isn't 90. There are plenty of hot men in their 30s and 40s. Women too! I am not that age, so I don't see anything "better" about that age group. Or worse, really. People in their late 30s are just not my peers. I think what happens, though, isn't that people change into unattractive duds as they get older but just there are less singles out there so it's harder to find the ones that are right for you.
LittleTiger Posted January 19, 2012 Posted January 19, 2012 Where did you get the idea that anyone over 30 is not valued romantically? I agree that it must be a projection because I do not see this at all. When I was under 30 I had no interest in men unless they were at least 30! Now that I'm in my 40s I'd be hard pushed to seriously consider a man under 40 for similar reasons. Here's why: In my experience, it takes a man until he is at least 30, if not 35, to become fully mature, both mentally and physically. By that age they have more idea about what they want in life, they are generally more thoughtful and considerate, have learnt something from past mistakes, they value women for more than just their 'hotness', they are financially more stable, they're more experienced and knowledgeable in bed - and more willing to please. Since I like to look after myself, I wouldn't consider a man who didn't do the same so, whatever his age, he has to be in shape. There may be less men in their 40s or older who are in great shape, but if they are, they have usually looked after themselves very well. I will also add that I have been 'over 30' for 17 years. I was married for a long period of time but, as soon as I became single, men who were romantically interested in me were not in short supply -and they were aged anything from 23 to 60. In my view the older ones are actually more prone to silliness and appreciation of 'wonder' than the younger ones. So I do think it's a matter of perception - and if you look with different eyes you will see different men!
Els Posted January 19, 2012 Posted January 19, 2012 Out of curiosity, how old are you? The best relationships are those where the woman is 5-10 years younger than the man (as women naturally age faster than men). Um... speak for yourself. There is absolutely no biological basis about 'women aging faster'. Women attain puberty faster, but after men catch up, it's all the same. All of the diseases or lowering of abilities that come with advanced age do not significantly favour one gender over the other. Also, I would be very skeptical about the potential longevity of a relationship in which the two people are 10 years apart. 50 and 60, sure, maybe even 30 and 40, but 20 and 30? 16 and 26? Their maturity levels and world views will be miles apart. It isn't impossible, but it's a huge obstacle to overcome. Unless, of course, to you a R is just all about sex and kisses and the minds don't matter. In that case, well, I suppose.
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