Let's talk about "average"

[misssmartypants]

"According to an American Demographics journal article in July 2003:

The average woman is 5'4" tall, weighs 145 lbs. with a dress size of 11 to 14, has a 36-37" bust, is about 29" around the waist and close to 40" around the hips."

 

 

"U.S. 1.776*m (5*ft 10*in) 1.632*m (5*ft 4 1⁄2*in) All Americans, 20–29 Measured 2003–2006 [73]" - average heights fos men And women from Wikipedia.

 

 

"Meanwhile, the average weight for men aged 20-74 years rose dramatically from 166.3 pounds in 1960 to 191 pounds in 2002, while the average weight for women the same age increased from 140.2 pounds in 1960 to 164.3 pounds in 2002."- about.com

 

 

Taking into account some I for I saw on the census website I can tell you that the average woman in America is 38, she is 5'4" and weights 166 pounds. Her dress size is a 12. She earns $23000 a year and is probably a medical technician or works in education.

 

The average man in the united states is 35, he is 5'10" and weighs 199 pounds. He earns $29000 a year at various jobs.

 

So when a man or woman says they want " just an average" person to date, this is what they are sayin they want.

 

I am not average. My income, education level, and age versus household size are all above average. I've been married and divorced, been homeless, a teen mom, and earned two masters degrees. I've worked four jobs at a time and walked to work for two years when I didn't own a car. I grew up with crazy, alcoholic parents and my brothers are drug- addicted thrives. I am not.

 

I am not bragging. These are things about me that are beyond average. Both good and bad points are ticks away from normal.

 

And I'm Ok with not being average. I'm also comfortable saying I don't want just an average man. I'm tough smart educated and stubborn. I don't want a enrage I want my match.

 

So let's tackle this tendency to downplay our expectations in potential mates. Is it self justification or what?

[aj22one]

 

"Meanwhile, the average weight for men aged 20-74 years rose dramatically from 166.3 pounds in 1960 to 191 pounds in 2002, while the average weight for women the same age increased from 140.2 pounds in 1960 to 164.3 pounds in 2002."- about.com

 

This is a meaningless stat. This is a large age group that shouldn't be grouped together. While it's worth noting that men's weight rose, I don't think this has an impact on people comparing averages within their own age group.

 

 

Taking into account some I for I saw on the census website I can tell you that the average woman in America is 38, she is 5'4" and weights 166 pounds. Her dress size is a 12. She earns $23000 a year and is probably a medical technician or works in education.

 

The average man in the united states is 35, he is 5'10" and weighs 199 pounds. He earns $29000 a year at various jobs.

 

So when a man or woman says they want " just an average" person to date, this is what they are sayin they want.

 

I am not average. My income, education level, and age versus household size are all above average. I've been married and divorced, been homeless, a teen mom, and earned two masters degrees. I've worked four jobs at a time and walked to work for two years when I didn't own a car. I grew up with crazy, alcoholic parents and my brothers are drug- addicted thrives. I am not.

 

I am not bragging. These are things about me that are beyond average. Both good and bad points are ticks away from normal.

 

And I'm Ok with not being average. I'm also comfortable saying I don't want just an average man. I'm tough smart educated and stubborn. I don't want a enrage I want my match.

 

So let's tackle this tendency to downplay our expectations in potential mates. Is it self justification or what?

 

I think when people say "average" they mean average in terms of where they themselves line up. A 25 year old is not looking for a mid 30s person making a low income. They are most likely looking for someone around their own age who's about "average". In other words not a supermodel, or a millionaire. A lawyer is probably not going to be dating a carpenter or a farmer. A professor probably isn't going to date a professional athlete. I think that's what people mean.

[thatone]

shocking thing about the stats is the average person of both sexes earns below 30k a year.

 

so what 'above average' characteristics are you after?

 

me personally, i am above average in intelligence/ambition and my income/personality reflect that. so i demand that, i don't go for the stupid ones. i'm about 30 past average weight but on the flip side am somewhat flexible in what i find attractive in women, assuming they have other exceptional traits.

[Ninjainpajamas]

I think average applies to superficial qualities more for men than it does for women.

 

A man doesn't care about all that and what you've been through If you're not a woman that he is attracted to. Furthermore those are your own trials and experiences that have granted you knowledge, confidence and fortitude in your own life...what does this have to do with dating?

 

I hate when people feel that because what they went through or experienced in their lives that this somehow entitles them to a better person as if they earned it. Your personal life and accomplishments are exactly that...personal! And this is coming from a person that has been through a lot from a young age.

 

Now as for men considering what is average...average means you're not much of a looker, you don't have the greatest body (might have some boobs without the butt or vice versa) and likely overweight which means your body doesn't stand out more than average.

 

Average also means you don't have the greatest personality, probably nothing really that makes you stand out from the rest, you might like cheese while the person next to you likes ketchup..big dynamic there!

 

To me also is average people don't grow much from their experiences, they are like punching bags and when things happen to them they don't really turn that into anything positive or able to delve much into thought of why those things have happened to them and what their part was in that. They basically just take it and been through it which makes that person feel "empowered" but in actuality they really are not different or better by much of a stones throw from before.

 

Now the people that look for education and wealth, that's just a basic selfish desire because If they really were right in the head they'd accomplish what they wanted to in life using their own ability and talent instead of depending on someone else to pick up the slack to create the "perfect story book lifestyle". If you're smart imo you get rich on your own then find the perfect person that accommodates your needs and lifestyle and grounds you to the world not makes you turn your up more towards it. I've met too many idiots in Academia to respect education that have as much common sense as the people they feel above. It's really just a sense of entitlement at the end of the day because of once again...selfish desire or achievements.

 

Where is the romance in all this? Well there isn't much these days, that is being forgotten in place of more "practical" qualities.

[misssmartypants]

shocking thing about the stats is the average person of both sexes earns below 30k a year.

 

so what 'above average' characteristics are you after?

 

me personally, i am above average in intelligence/ambition and my income/personality reflect that. so i demand that, i don't go for the stupid ones. i'm about 30 past average weight but on the flip side am somewhat flexible in what i find attractive in women, assuming they have other exceptional traits.

 

I don't have a laundry list to be honest. I'm 30 and I have three kids, I am aware that there are many single men, some of whom have kids, who don't want to get involved with me because of that.

 

But I know I want someone who is honorable in the sense that he doesn't take advantage of others or unnecessarily cause people discomfort or pain.

 

I am very smart and I want someone who isn't intimidated by that (I've had boyfriends get weird about how smart I am), and who can keep up.

 

I don't care about his income level, but I do care that he works, he has a job and that he supports himself in life.

 

I have almost no physical requirements other than that he not be super morbidly obese.

[EasyHeart]

The average man in the united states is 35, he is 5'10" and weighs 199 pounds. He earns $29000 a year at various jobs.

Yikes! I need to eat more!

 

And work less.

 

so what 'above average' characteristics are you after?

Above-average boobies FTW!!!

[misssmartypants]

I think average applies to superficial qualities more for men than it does for women.

 

A man doesn't care about all that and what you've been through If you're not a woman that he is attracted to. Furthermore those are your own trials and experiences that have granted you knowledge, confidence and fortitude in your own life...what does this have to do with dating?

 

I hate when people feel that because what they went through or experienced in their lives that this somehow entitles them to a better person as if they earned it. Your personal life and accomplishments are exactly that...personal! And this is coming from a person that has been through a lot from a young age.

 

Now as for men considering what is average...average means you're not much of a looker, you don't have the greatest body (might have some boobs without the butt or vice versa) and likely overweight which means your body doesn't stand out more than average.

 

Average also means you don't have the greatest personality, probably nothing really that makes you stand out from the rest, you might like cheese while the person next to you likes ketchup..big dynamic there!

 

To me also is average people don't grow much from their experiences, they are like punching bags and when things happen to them they don't really turn that into anything positive or able to delve much into thought of why those things have happened to them and what their part was in that. They basically just take it and been through it which makes that person feel "empowered" but in actuality they really are not different or better by much of a stones throw from before.

 

Now the people that look for education and wealth, that's just a basic selfish desire because If they really were right in the head they'd accomplish what they wanted to in life using their own ability and talent instead of depending on someone else to pick up the slack to create the "perfect story book lifestyle". If you're smart imo you get rich on your own then find the perfect person that accommodates your needs and lifestyle and grounds you to the world not makes you turn your up more towards it. I've met too many idiots in Academia to respect education that have as much common sense as the people they feel above. It's really just a sense of entitlement at the end of the day because of once again...selfish desire or achievements.

 

Where is the romance in all this? Well there isn't much these days, that is being forgotten in place of more "practical" qualities.

 

I never meant to say that I was entitled to anything. I was simply summerizing my own journey. I've been through things that would have defeated others. I am not "better" than, just "different" than.

 

Its a part of who I am, just like smarts and sexiness and kids and my job (In acadamia as a special education teacher - it also wont ever make me rich) and my family.

 

The person I eventually fall in love with and marry will understand that these things were to me what fire and water are to metal, made me stronger, made me harder, made me more flexible.

 

My point was actually that NO ONE is average. EVERYONE has something about them that is special or extraordinary. To say "I a average" is to short change one's self. To say "I want an average girl" is to short change the girl.

[jobaba]

And I'm Ok with not being average. I'm also comfortable saying I don't want just an average man. I'm tough smart educated and stubborn. I don't want a enrage I want my match.

 

So let's tackle this tendency to downplay our expectations in potential mates. Is it self justification or what?

 

I think those are all superficial and material assets.

 

And while it would be nice to have someone who had a degree, it's not a requirement. Let's face it. Everybody and their grandmama has a bachelors degree these days.

 

In terms of $, I don't care how much a woman makes. I do care if she's motivated. And if she is, she'll probably pull in enough scratch. Social worker would be fine.

 

In terms of the physical, I'm not the average, nowhere near in fact. So I wouldn't require that of my mate.

 

I hate turning the dating game into a game of match my assets. Just not for me. I realize most people play the game that way, but ... not my style.

[somedude81]

the average woman in America is 38,

 

The average man in the united states is 35,

LOL, wtf?

 

Either way, aj22one brought this up already.

 

I'm not looking to date the "average" woman. I'm looking for a girl who is 22-27ish.

 

Now if the average young woman is 166lbs, god help us.

[iris219]

I think average applies to superficial qualities more for men than it does for women.

 

When a guy has trouble dating, it's suggested he become successful and make money. When a woman has trouble, she's told to get prettier.

 

"Average" or "above average" really means nothing because it comes down to how you feel about the other person. I will not be attracted to or interested in every wealthy, handsome man even if he's well "above average." When we talk about being "average," we're talking mostly about superficial qualities that don't affect what sort of relationship a person is capable of having--and those are the qualities I'm most interested in, not whether a guy has a great job, a lot of education, and is hot. Those would just be bonuses, but they aren't essential and I don't require them. I do require an above average intellectual and emotional connection.

Edited January 19, 2012 by iris219

[ditzchic]

To say "I want an average girl" is to short change the girl.

 

I cannot agree with this more!! I can never imagine ending up with a guy that thinks I'm 'just average'. I want him to see the amazing parts of me that the rest of the world might not notice offhand. And I want to see the same in him.

[somedude81]

When a guy has trouble dating, it's suggested he become successful and make money. When a woman has trouble, she's told to get prettier.

What do you think is easier?

 

Losing weight and if needed getting a wardrobe update.

 

Or getting a good paying job.

 

Of course lets not forget the fact that women don't want to date overweight slobs either...

[thatone]

What do you think is easier?

 

Losing weight and if needed getting a wardrobe update.

 

Or getting a good paying job.

 

Of course lets not forget the fact that women don't want to date overweight slobs either...

 

why do you think the path of least resistance should be the way to success in one part of life (relationships) but not the other?

[misssmartypants]

What do you think is easier?

 

Losing weight and if needed getting a wardrobe update.

 

Or getting a good paying job.

 

Of course lets not forget the fact that women don't want to date overweight slobs either...

 

For me it was the job.,

 

Of course, the job also allows me to buy the clothes that I like . . . .

[somedude81]

why do you think the path of least resistance should be the way to success in one part of life (relationships) but not the other?

Huh?

 

For me it was the job.,

 

Of course, the job also allows me to buy the clothes that I like . . . .

Seriously?

 

Getting an education and the skills needed for the job and actually getting the job is easier than losing weight??

[misssmartypants]

Huh?

 

 

Seriously?

 

Getting an education and the skills needed for the job and actually getting the job is easier than losing weight??

 

Uhm yeah, as someone who has struggled with weight all their life, through school, jobs, and what have you, always struggling with weight, yeah, the weight is the hard part.

[iris219]

What do you think is easier?

 

Losing weight and if needed getting a wardrobe update.

 

Or getting a good paying job.

 

Of course lets not forget the fact that women don't want to date overweight slobs either...

 

I don't know--I'm thin, I dress well, and I have a good job.

 

Seriously, both are hard. We all know getting a high paying job is very difficult these days. Losing weight is very difficult for a lot of women, and if you're simply not pretty, there's not much you can do about that.

Edited January 19, 2012 by iris219

[Feelsgoodman]

You are confusing "average" with "mean". You are describing the mean person, not the average person.

 

Anyone who has studied statistics is familiar with the concept of Normal Distribution. The human population is normally distributed, which means that approximately 68.2% of people in any particular society lie within one standard deviation of the mean. In other words, roughly two thirds of all people are more or less "average". Of the remaining one third, half is below average.

 

In order for you to be noticeably above average, you have to fall in the top 16% of the human population.

[jobaba]

Whatever.

 

Degrees are easy.

 

Making above the average salary is easy.

 

Any fool could get a bachelors and masters degree and be making over 80K.

 

I know because I am that fool.

 

True guts lie in doing what you want to do with your life.

 

I respect someone who decided to become a professional musician and dedicated his life to that more than someone who became a dentist and make 5 times as much.

 

I never had the guts to do that partly because I feared I'd die alone and single because NO WOMAN WOULD WANT ME!

 

Money and Degrees don't tell you where you are in life.

[refurb]

The average human being in the US has one breast and one testicle.

 

RF

[Feelsgoodman]

I respect someone who decided to become a professional musician and dedicated his life to that more than someone who became a dentist and make 5 times as much.

I'd respect someone like that but only if he had the necessary talent. The last thing the world needs is more mediocre "professional" musicians, actors, performers, etc. The world would be a much better place if Justin Beiber was a dentist or an accountant

[jobaba]

It's that easy to make 80 K? Masters in exactly what?

 

My cousin's got a masters in history, and guess what? He is using his expertise as a Dominoes Pizza delivary driver . With the added bonus that he can tell customers about the great history of Dominoes Pizza.

 

People say its easy to make a lot of money, its easy to get all the girls you can handle, its easy to do this and that, so why is the average so much lower than people who think everythings a cakewalk?

 

FYI to students thinking about going for their masters, unless its something in the hard sciences or engineering, it's just going to be a waste of time and money.

 

Bolded ... Lol.

 

Engineering and Consulting.

 

But I got laid off. Opened my eyes.

 

You could be making a good salary and have a good career when you're 30 and be out of a job and struggling when you're 40.

 

I've seen it. And it's another reason you can't judge someone by salary...

[aj22one]

It's that easy to make 80 K? Masters in exactly what?

 

My cousin's got a masters in history, and guess what? He is using his expertise as a Dominoes Pizza delivary driver . With the added bonus that he can tell customers about the great history of Dominoes Pizza.

 

People say its easy to make a lot of money, its easy to get all the girls you can handle, its easy to do this and that, so why is the average so much lower than people who think everythings a cakewalk?

 

FYI to students thinking about going for their masters, unless its something in the hard sciences or engineering, it's just going to be a waste of time and money.

 

What kind of skills does he have? Is he a good writer? A good researcher? Can he do critical analysis? Seriously, some degrees that people say are "worthless" aren't really worthless if you apply them right.

 

I have just a bachelor's degree in sociology and I make just south of 70k a year.

[jobaba]

Definitely. The rat race itself is despicable and incredibly corrupt (who you know/are related to > merit), judging other people by its rules is unbelievable.

 

Oh. You think the kissups and suckups are bad in school. Wait till you get to working. It's really gonna make you

 

What kind of skills does he have? Is he a good writer? A good researcher? Can he do critical analysis? Seriously, some degrees that people say are "worthless" aren't really worthless if you apply them right.

 

I have just a bachelor's degree in sociology and I make just south of 70k a year.

 

Not bad. Sociology was what I would have majored in if I weren't coerced into a more practical major.

[aj22one]

 

All of this is worthless these days without some piece of paper saying you went to school for it.

 

I'm good and pretty handy at sheetrock stuff, but don't have a billion certificates of OSHA (which the union would train you in many years ago) etc needed to get into a union so it's got no value in the job market.

 

What kind of job did you get with your Sociology degree btw, out of curiosity?

 

I have a friend who has a degree in philosophy, figured out he couldn't get a job and didn't have money for law school so he went online and learned some programming stuff, makes a pretty good living. At first he worked for peanuts, but quickly moved up the ladder.

 

I do consultant work for overseas companies (mostly small start ups in India), doing demographics analysis telling them where their ad dollars would be well spent and what products they should sell in which markets. I'm a one man show right now, but I'd like to expand sooner than later, maybe hire some of these humanities graduates who are out of work.

 

What's your major Wolf?