Glove_slap Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 and I've heard nothing from her. We've been broken up for a year and a half which is also how long her current relationship has lasted (rebounded right after). We were together for three years. She left for this older guy who sells drugs (she didn't know at first), has money, cars, a condo and a mansion. He was arrested earlier last year along with my ex's best girlfriend that hooked the two of them up for drug charges. She's been living the good life... Is it safe to say I'm never going to her from her again?
BoredAgain Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 She's been living the good life... That's sarcasm, I hope! Well, congrats on making it the entire year. Such a thing is completely daunting to a lot of people on here. But my question is, why would you want to hear from her? Her life sounds like a mess.
sunflower11 Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 Well, what do you want honestly? For the longest time I wanted my ex to come crawling back and say he loved me and he made a mistake by breaking up with me. It's been 4 months and I can honestly say, I am glad he hasn't contacted me and I am better off if he never contacts me again. Do you still want her back? What if she did come back, would you take her back? Why do you want to hear from her? What could she possibly say or do that would make a year or being apart worthwhile? I am the type of person who doesn't believe in second chances..once he burned the bridge, its over. There is no going back. A year is a long time and I am sure you have grown a lot as a person..so maybe it is better this way?
Jono85 Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 and I've heard nothing from her. We've been broken up for a year and a half which is also how long her current relationship has lasted (rebounded right after). We were together for three years. She left for this older guy who sells drugs (she didn't know at first), has money, cars, a condo and a mansion. He was arrested earlier last year along with my ex's best girlfriend that hooked the two of them up for drug charges. She's been living the good life... Is it safe to say I'm never going to her from her again? dude u have like 10+ threads ALL about wanting to hear from your ex. some of them exactly identical questions. don't you think you've kind of milked this for all it's worth yet? time to move on yet? i imagine you're still living in hurt, otherwise you wouldn't be making thread after thread about the exact same thing. when's it time to give up on her? do u think she's longing for u all these weeks and weeks counting the days/weeks/months since she contacted you last? sorry to be harsh, but judging by your threads alone (ie. i don't know whether that accurately reflects reality) you're not progressing at all. it might be time to switch up your habits. maybe take a few months off from here if this place keeps you thinking about your ex. just change your lifestyle b/c whatever you've been doing doesn't seem to be working.
pd8mxq Posted January 19, 2012 Posted January 19, 2012 yes dude, I agreed with Jono....I saw what you posted just now and realised you have been posting on a regular basis. Its really doing you no good. Maye you should see a therapist to help you out. You are obssessed with your ex and still asking the same question of whether she will make contact again. Thats not healthy really. You gotto stop asking the question and eventually u wont bother.
Dark Phoenix Posted January 19, 2012 Posted January 19, 2012 She's been living the good life... This is actually "Jealousy" not sarcasm For those of you that havent figured out how to read this yet, he still loves her. Telling him to move on is like throwing an egg at a brick wall, you're just wasting your time. Instead of giving him your opinions, try validating his feelings.
Sugarkane Posted January 19, 2012 Posted January 19, 2012 What a out stopping insulting the OP and tell him HOW to get over this?
mridul_chajilee Posted January 19, 2012 Posted January 19, 2012 Here is 2 and half year of NC but hv the same feelings.
Jono85 Posted January 19, 2012 Posted January 19, 2012 What a out stopping insulting the OP and tell him HOW to get over this? reread those same replies..
Dark Phoenix Posted January 19, 2012 Posted January 19, 2012 What a out stopping insulting the OP and tell him HOW to get over this? This is the problem with people here. Stop telling people what to do. Answer his questions. Validate them. Here let me show you Glove Slap: Honestly, I dont know, no one does. Its been a year, why not reach out and say hi?
Author Glove_slap Posted January 19, 2012 Author Posted January 19, 2012 dude u have like 10+ threads ALL about wanting to hear from your ex. some of them exactly identical questions. don't you think you've kind of milked this for all it's worth yet? time to move on yet? i imagine you're still living in hurt, otherwise you wouldn't be making thread after thread about the exact same thing. when's it time to give up on her? do u think she's longing for u all these weeks and weeks counting the days/weeks/months since she contacted you last? sorry to be harsh, but judging by your threads alone (ie. i don't know whether that accurately reflects reality) you're not progressing at all. it might be time to switch up your habits. maybe take a few months off from here if this place keeps you thinking about your ex. just change your lifestyle b/c whatever you've been doing doesn't seem to be working. I appreciate the reality check but I'm well aware, I haven't posted on a regular basis but I'm sure a few of my threads carry on and on. I don't really miss her or anything, I'm just looking here to hear people's opinions and what they think of the situation. I never had any closure like almost all of us here and all I'm really looking for is other people's experiences. I doubt I'll ever hear from her again and frankly I don't want to. I appreciate the reality check but it comes off as harsh. There are hundreds of us making threads about our exes over and over again. The forum wouldn't function as it does without that element.
lalalandman Posted January 19, 2012 Posted January 19, 2012 Let's try Phoenix's method... You said "I don't really miss her or anything" You also said "I doubt I'll ever hear from her again and FRANKLY I DON'T WANT TO" Are you sure about that?
Sugarkane Posted January 19, 2012 Posted January 19, 2012 I can relate to you OP as I never got remotely any closure at all. Makes it difficult to make any sense of it. I often wonder why these dumpers dump you for someone often with major red flags, yet their willing to put effort into that instead?!
stitch702 Posted January 19, 2012 Posted January 19, 2012 Sometimes...actually most of the time, you will never recieve closure. I mean her rebounding and being with her boyfriend should be closure enough. I mean he sells drugs and does all these bad things, it's stupid for her to remain with a guy like that, but I guess she really loves him if she chooses to remain with him for so long. What you need to do is accept the relationship is over, I feel that deep inside you are looking for vindication or for her to tell you that she made a mistake for being with this guy, well, maybe she doesn't even think that... What you need to do is find your own closure...forgive yourself and her. If that is not enough, then contact her...my first love broke up with me and I still felt as if I had not recieved the closure I had wanted so I finally e-mailed her a year after. When she replied, she simply told me she did not have the same feelings for me when we broke up and wanted to see other people...it was the same **** she told me when we broke up in the FIRST PLACE, but it was I who just couldn't accept it. Let's face it, **** happens that just life...we fall down, we pick up what pieces we can, and we move on...
Kamila Posted January 19, 2012 Posted January 19, 2012 I can relate to you OP as I never got remotely any closure at all. Makes it difficult to make any sense of it. I often wonder why these dumpers dump you for someone often with major red flags, yet their willing to put effort into that instead?! Well, sometimes exes are attracted to people with the same red flags as them. It makes them have something in common with them. As weird as it sounds, a person that is too perfect isn't good for your ex. Not perfect-perfect, but more perfect than the ex is. That's right, they feel mediocre compared to you, even have a low selfesteem because of that. That's why sometimes we wonder why some couples stay together. What do they have in common ? What makes them more compatible ? I'm not saying all relationships are disabled, but something must surely hold it together. Maybe it's the money, a man stays with his woman because he can do whatever he wants with her because she's submissive and won't say a thing because she loves him, I know a couple where the man is the nurse and very caring whereas the woman is a bully and almost acting like a macho guy.... See you have the most bizarre combinations possible. It's not because you aren't good as a person, it's because you're not the best person for your ex right now (well, that's what the ex thinks and feels). And vice versa.
MidnightinMadrid Posted January 19, 2012 Posted January 19, 2012 This is unlike all the response,but be positive. I am a firm believer on what you focus on you will attract. Though many times it is hard to follow this is what helped me. Dont think she's living it up high,eventually her drug dealing boyfriend will get caught. Be postive
pd8mxq Posted January 20, 2012 Posted January 20, 2012 U might never get your closure like some of us say, so just accept it. If you really want to find the closure by contacting, then please feel free and you will be brought down to the sadness in no time. Do you really want this feeling? Dont care about her, she is not good. What more, you shouldnt care about whether her current relaitonship will work or not cos its not your main concern. YOU are your main concern. do things you enjoy. Slowly you will discover yourself and find someone again. You cant go back now so why look back?
Author Glove_slap Posted February 1, 2012 Author Posted February 1, 2012 It's not because you aren't good as a person, it's because you're not the best person for your ex right now (well, that's what the ex thinks and feels). And vice versa. Well said.
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