lightx Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 PAST UPDATE OK, So I've been thinking about talking to my Ex again ad breaking no contact one last time. ( I'll explain later why I say again )..... But before I go any further I'll try and make this short as possible. Me and my Ex we been dating for about a year. Then she decides later she wants too take a break and promised saying she wouldn't talk to anybody during this break or time ( uh huh! )... Anyways, the break was a waste of time and I ended up getting dumped anyways. So then she tells me saying there was no spark blah blah that she wanted to be " Friends with Romantic Interest " I declined because I thought it was FWB and I didn't see her as a material object. So I asked what were her reasons for breaking up with me...... Her Reasons : -I was too romantic -I deserve someone better -I need to be with someone more family oriented -I was to good for her -Its not you its me line ( I know classic line -.- ) Also she threw in to me before the end of the breakup a quote from somewhere " "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be." ( At first I didn't get what the heck what it meant, but now I do... ) So yeah she asked if I wanted to be friends first I declined because I was furious and upset about what we had and we didn't break up on bad terms either. I told she been chasing me for so long and now you wanna call it quits. So then she says if you ever wanna hangout, talk or go places let me know. After that we hadn't talked in about a Month. So I decided to break no contact and I approached her at work and pulled her off to aside and asked her if we could talk and still be friends. She tells me that its best that we don't be friends and that it didn't work out. On top of that she didn't want us to stress our other friend out with our issues anymore.( During the relationship of the stage of our immaturity we would go to this one friend and pester her with two arguments we had during our relationship. ) So I when she said that I glanced and shrugged saying " OK " and walked off like it was nothing... PRESENT : OK, so its been another Month now gone by and I don't wanna break NC again and look like a Moron or look desperate and needy. SO today at work I'm just minding my own business and lately the Ex hides herself. She did this for a good two weeks. This week she been showing herself a lot of herself lately and let me explain why: 1st: Was around 7 or 8 when she was at the front desk and I was in my department. So she parks her Cart at the nurses desk and stands there with it then leaves it there! and leaves for a second.( For the record she stood there for a good 5 mins fiddling with whatever on her cart. I took it that she was trying to get my attention.. ) 2nd : Second time was when she had to Clean the dining room and such in the facility and Normally she is on time never late. So shes in there i look up and shes looking at me and quickly turned her face away from me and hurried up and got out there.. 3rd: It was time to leave and I leave around 2:05. She all of a sudden got my timing down of my departure or something. So as I am leaving I notice she saw me going and quickly turns her back on me. This has been going on since last week Thursday to Tuesday January 17th..... Right now I need too know seriously what would you guys do in my current condition. Because right now I am truly of thinking of breaking No contact, but before I even do I need words of Advice. And YES! I do wanna be with her and win her back, but I want to hear what you guys gotta offer and bring to the table. Additional Info: -shes 21 and I am 25 -I was her real long term bf ... Others she dated only lasted weeks almost to a month -We work together in different Departments at a Nursing facility
Philosoraptor Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 If she wants something to work then you need to let her make the first move, something direct. Continue on your path to healing.
BoredAgain Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 Agreed, Philosoraptor. If what you say is true, that she really is acting in strange way - though keep in mind that you may be over-interpreting her behavior - then you still really have no idea what her intent is. For all you know, she may just be looking for an ego boost. So, I say that if she was direct about the breakup then she can be direct about wanting to reconcile. Playing coy games can sometimes be cute/fun at the beginning of a relationship, but after a breakup it seems more like an attempt at manipulation.
Author lightx Posted January 18, 2012 Author Posted January 18, 2012 I suppose you guys are right that I may be looking into the situation abit too much... I just need to go back to the way I was before I knew her and that she was Interested in me which is hard.. Before I knew her we worked together and I never knew she even existed! When she told me that she tried getting my attention and had the hots for me she chased me non-stop! But seeing how now that I dated her its kind of hard to not know she is even there. I even tired talking to girls there, mingling with friends there and off work and even tried flirting to forget about her. 1.What I am trying to say is is there any way or trick to reverse this in her wanting me back again like before ? 2.Based on you guys experience with my condition how did you handle it and did it work out to your advantage ?
BoredAgain Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 If anybody had a formula for getting an Ex back that actually worked, then he or she would be a billionaire. There is no such formula, plan, or scheme. In fact, there is only one thing that comes close: move forward with life, work on yourself, meet new people, and try new things. In other words, get over the relationship and improve your life in the process. Paradoxically, I think that's the best way to increase your chances of reconciliation. But it's a win-win because you wont care even if she doesn't want a reconciliation... or, oddly enough, you may find that YOU don't want a reconciliation.
Exit Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 I'm not exactly sure what you're all worked up about? When she sees you shes looks away, hurries up and tries to leave the room. You were leaving the other day and noticed her looking in your direction and then she looked away real quick? Not sure why you are making this out to be some huge shift in her behavior and you think she's interested again. This is what we do when we're trapped in love.... we start trying to make something out of which direction someone happens to be looking or if we had an unexpected moment of eye contact. Nothing has changed, first you rejected her suggestion to be friends, then she rejected yours. Working in the same place is sure to cause some awkward moments but that's about it. Not trying to be mean but you make it sound like you saw her approaching you with a bouquet of roses and then when she saw you looking she ran in the other direction. She didn't do anything. Sounds like she's trying to keep her distance from you and maybe she pays attention to what time your shift ends and when you're leaving the store so she knows that you're gone. There is nothing you can do except keep minding your own business and do what you gotta do. You approached her and suggested that you were ready to give friendship a chance and she said no. If she has changed her mind or has anything new to say, clearly she knows where to find you since you work in the same building. You're asking all these urgent questions as if there's some window of opportunity for you to attract her and I just don't really understand what you're basing it on from what you've written... she's looked in your direction a couple of times? Maybe I'm missing something here, maybe she really is acting differently and has something she wants to say. In either case, the ball is in her court, there is nothing you need to "do".
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