ech Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 ok- so my Bday is in a few days and my girlfriends want to take me out for a girls night. My bf (5months) has a huge problem with that. When I told him I was going he said "you would go out without me". And last night he thought I was out and called and texted over and over, saying I ditched him for my friends, when all I did was run down to the store. I am a bit worried cause I do love him and do want to get a place together (future). But these are flags to me that I am not sure if they will get worse or not. We were out with his friends the other night and one was "looking at me funny" and talking to me alot. So now he doesnt want to go out with him ever again. Anyone ever been through this?
Star Gazer Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 Sounds like miscommunication to me, that you'd rather spend your birthday with you friends than spend it with him, when in reality, I'm sure you'd like to celebrate your date with both your friends and your boyfriend, although separately. Tell him as much: that you want to spend the day/celebrate with him too... just the two of you, so that it's special. *wink, wink*
Author ech Posted January 18, 2012 Author Posted January 18, 2012 (edited) I did:) we are planning on a night for just him and I to celebrate it. I wanted a girls night also, but it seems to be a huge issue. Edited January 18, 2012 by ech
make me believe Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 When I told him I was going he said "you would go out without me". And last night he thought I was out and called and texted over and over, saying I ditched him for my friends, when all I did was run down to the store. We were out with his friends the other night and one was "looking at me funny" and talking to me alot. So now he doesnt want to go out with him ever again. Wow. This is immediate dump-worthy behavior. It's will probably get worse unless you put a stop to it NOW. There is a huge difference between "I'm disappointed because I wanted to spend time with you on your bday" and "you WOULD go out without me" said in a snide tone. The calling & texting incessantly when all you did was go to the store is downright scary. And now you aren't allowed to be around one of his firends who "looked at you funny" and "talked to you too much"?? Come on! You would be making a huge mistake to continue being involved with somebody who is so scarily possessive and controlling. This is indicative of some deep control/jealousy issues, imo. I doubt it will get any better, and it will most likely get much worse as time goes on. HUGE HUGE red flags.
yessy21 Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 possesive much? lol, at the beggining its flattering in the end its sad. Its all about balance and until he learns to trust you then i dont think moving together would be a wise choice.
O'Malley Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 I wanted a girls night also, but it seems to be a huge issue. From the behavior that he demonstrated towards you in your other thread (making accusations, screaming, physically restraining you), these disputes will continue to escalate in frequency and the potential for harm. I'm hoping that you'll come to recognize that his ways of handling differences and communicating are neither healthy nor stable for your well being. The longer you stay in this relationship, he will gradually assert more control over you -- where he'll allow you to go, whom he'll allow you socialize with, how he'll allow you to interact with others. Eventually, who he allows you to be.
kiss_andmakeup Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 OP, considering your past threads, namely http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t302409/ and http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t311551/ , this guy has all the groundwork for a possessive, abusive, and controlling partner. In fact, he already is one. Get out now, and for the love of god, do NOT move in with him!
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