lilyblue Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 For any men that do online dating - what attracts you to a woman (besides her being hot). What kinds of pics? What about her profile? Anything else?
Shaun-Dro Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 For any men that do online dating - what attracts you to a woman (besides her being hot). What kinds of pics? What about her profile? Anything else? I cant imagine beautiful women using online dating as a prop. I'd suspect that it's a fake profile so I wouldn't even bother. Men, on the other hand, would most likely use it because of lack of confidence in the real world.
Author lilyblue Posted January 18, 2012 Author Posted January 18, 2012 I cant imagine beautiful women using online dating as a prop. I'd suspect that it's a fake profile so I wouldn't even bother. Men, on the other hand, would most likely use it because of lack of confidence in the real world. That's fine - I wasn't asking for opinions of beautiful people online. I was asking what would attract you to someone online. But maybe you just wouldn't be.
USMCHokie Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 Anyone who says that the primary profile picture isn't what initially attracts someone to look at a profile (aside from seeing someone in your "Viewed You" list) is full of crap. Various types of pictures are important, and I personally hate the bathroom mirror pics of women as much as women claim to hate the bathroom mirror pics of guys...I mean, seriously...? Humor in a profile is key. Sarcasm is incredibly important for me, and there are only a couple of profiles that I've ever read that actually made me laugh out loud to myself. Tell a story rather than make direct statements about yourself. Make me think. Anything sort of stated physical requirement is an instant turnoff (probably because I don't fit that requirement... ). Also, I personally view any sort of "disclaimer" saying that she isn't here for hookups or FWB situations as a pretty clear reflection of her level of intelligence...I mean seriously, you aren't smart enough to figure that out on your own when you talk to or meet these guys...?
Woggle Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 Substance. If she shows something other than blatantly sexing it up and shows that there is something deeper. If she comes across as somebody I can genuinely enjoy hanging out with for a day I will certainly give her a second look. Also coming across down to earth and not stuck up helps as well.
Author lilyblue Posted January 18, 2012 Author Posted January 18, 2012 Anyone who says that the primary profile picture isn't what initially attracts someone to look at a profile (aside from seeing someone in your "Viewed You" list) is full of crap. Various types of pictures are important, and I personally hate the bathroom mirror pics of women as much as women claim to hate the bathroom mirror pics of guys...I mean, seriously...? Humor in a profile is key. Sarcasm is incredibly important for me, and there are only a couple of profiles that I've ever read that actually made me laugh out loud to myself. Tell a story rather than make direct statements about yourself. Make me think. Anything sort of stated physical requirement is an instant turnoff (probably because I don't fit that requirement... ). Also, I personally view any sort of "disclaimer" saying that she isn't here for hookups or FWB situations as a pretty clear reflection of her level of intelligence...I mean seriously, you aren't smart enough to figure that out on your own when you talk to or meet these guys...? Thanks - I agree about the profile pic. That's as much true for women looking at men I would think. I can write many things well, but the humorous profile is always one I struggle with I always feel like I'm searching for a tone. Thanks for the things you stay away from too - interesting to know as everyone interprets things differently (although I agree about the FWB statement). Thanks for all your thoughts!
USMCHokie Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 I'd like to add a few more thoughts on pictures, as you requested. First, avoid the group shot where I have to analyze the whole picture just to find you...especially if all you have are group shots...it's a pain in the ass and the pictures usually aren't very clear shots of you... Second, why do people have pictures of just their pets...? I have no interest in knowing what your dog looks like...I'd be more than happy to meet him later, but what's your logic behind it...? Finally, as much as I might enjoy looking at your bikini pic, I do find it as tacky as women find (or claim to find) the male shirtless pic...
jobaba Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 First of all, the fact that I met HER physical specifications would make her attractive. Put it this way ... I ain't a 5'9" or taller white dude. OK ... now that 60-70% of the women on that dating site are gone, for the rest ... Working for a nonprofit or community based career as a day job or volunteering or doing philanthropic stuff in their spare time is VERY hot. Shows she's got a good heart and is probably non shallow and non petty. That'd be the first thing to attract me. Just that alone would get me to write in. No pic or any other facts necessary. After that, it'd be if she's into similar types of music and movies. If she likes sports, also a plus. If she drinks at least some, also a plus. Just for the record, I've never done online dating, but they send me emails because I have a non activated account. I saw one woman who met all the above specifications and almost paid just for her. But I was kind of dating someone at the time.
jobaba Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 Anyone who says that the primary profile picture isn't what initially attracts someone to look at a profile (aside from seeing someone in your "Viewed You" list) is full of crap. Yup. That's true. That's probably why I don't do online dating. But I will try it if my hand is forced in the future...
USMCHokie Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 First of all, the fact that I met HER physical specifications would make her attractive. Put it this way ... I ain't a 5'9" or taller white dude. I used to think exactly like this...that a girl who would be "willing" to go out on a date with someone with my physical specs was instantly attractive to me...you have to stop thinking like this and look for women you are attracted to...that's all that matters...don't go out with people just because they show an interest in you...you won't be happy...I know I wasn't... You're better than that...and until you realize that, you won't ever be better than that...
Author lilyblue Posted January 18, 2012 Author Posted January 18, 2012 Second, why do people have pictures of just their pets...? I have no interest in knowing what your dog looks like...I'd be more than happy to meet him later, but what's your logic behind it...? This completely baffles me too! Sooooo many guys have 5 pictures of their dog (no innuendo...). I'm not attracted to a guy for his pets...
Shaun-Dro Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 This completely baffles me too! Sooooo many guys have 5 pictures of their dog (no innuendo...). I'm not attracted to a guy for his pets... Seeing men taking pictures with pets especially a cute little yorky or some kind of poodle is a subtle form of manipulation, employed to get the gullible women interested and believing that he's a "great" guy.
xpaperxcutx Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 One of my girlfriends told me the other day that guys with small dogs are slightly more emasculated. And they use it as a front to draw in girls. ( My girlfriend is an expert at reading people). Is it a coincidence that most guys have female dogs? I have a little maltese, and I never post any of his pictures on online dating. Anytime a guy with a dog chats me up I automatically, " Aww now my dog can have a playdate".
FitChick Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 Second, why do people have pictures of just their pets...? I have no interest in knowing what your dog looks like.. I like men who like pets so I am curious to see what his dog or cat looks like. My pet peeve is landscape shots with no one in them. WTF? Are you trying to show off your photography skills or show where you've been (but they aren't captioned)? These guys usually have just one blurry photo of themselves taken during a lunar eclipse.
jobaba Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 I used to think exactly like this...that a girl who would be "willing" to go out on a date with someone with my physical specs was instantly attractive to me...you have to stop thinking like this and look for women you are attracted to...that's all that matters...don't go out with people just because they show an interest in you...you won't be happy...I know I wasn't... You're better than that...and until you realize that, you won't ever be better than that... I've never done online dating. But I can't imagine too many women giving me a chance if I fell pretty far from their specs. In real life, I go for tons of women who don't fall within my specs because they've gotten the CHANCE TO KNOW ME. I'm not going to get into the results because I don't want to hijack Lilyblue's thread. But as for the answer the OP wants to hear ... 'guys' like: Good pics (just put your best pics up, do the best you can do) Into Sports Into guy movies Into drinking beer All things a lot of women aren't into so it'll set you apart...
USMCHokie Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 But as for the answer the OP wants to hear ... 'guys' like: Good pics (just put your best pics up, do the best you can do) Into Sports Into guy movies Into drinking beer All things a lot of women aren't into so it'll set you apart... Eh, different guys like different types of girls...as much as I like a girl who can be "one of the guys," I also like a girl who is a genuine girl...
Sith Apprentice Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 For any men that do online dating - what attracts you to a woman (besides her being hot). What kinds of pics? What about her profile? Anything else? Profile is irrelevant. I don't even bother reading women's profiles. I am a believer and practitioner of the shotgun method. I will message every woman in my area that I find physically attractive with a copy and pasted message that I created from a PUA site. My primary qualifications are no fatties or single moms. She must have a full body pic as well.
Author lilyblue Posted January 18, 2012 Author Posted January 18, 2012 (edited) Hmm... well it seems like I have some things going for me. And I'm not super ugly... Yet I still don't get a ton of interest. Sometimes I wonder if I come across as too active. Is that ever intimidating? I'm a runner, I've climbed a few mountains (but don't make a habit out of it) - lots of my pictures reflect these types of activities, although I have several that are not of these kinds of things too. A friend was once trying to set me up with someone and he thought I was too "hardcore" just from how much I ran. Edited January 18, 2012 by lilyblue
USMCHokie Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 A friend was once trying to set me up with someone and he thought I was too "hardcore" just from how much I ran. Insecurity at its finest.
Sith Apprentice Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 Hmm... well it seems like I have some things going for me. And I'm not super ugly... Yet I still don't get a ton of interest. Sometimes I wonder if I come across as too active. Is that ever intimidating? I'm a runner, I've climbed a few mountains (but don't make a habit out of it) - lots of my pictures reflect these types of activities, although I have several that are not of these kinds of things too. A friend was once trying to set me up with someone and he thought I was too "hardcore" just from how much I ran. Guys will be intimidated if their losers who's lives circle around watching TV, playing video games, and jacking off to internet porn. If you want an honest assessment of your profile or photos I'll give you one if you post a link.
jobaba Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 Eh, different guys like different types of girls...as much as I like a girl who can be "one of the guys," I also like a girl who is a genuine girl... Well, I agree. She could just represent herself and highlight what she really loves. But what is the point of the thread then. Different guys like different things but a majority of guys are into drinking beer and watching sports and a majority of women are not.
TheFinalWord Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 I have a medium sized dog (28lbs) and I haven't been emasculated lol I do love dogs; ideally I'd have a lab or retriever but space and money don't permit given my current situation. I post pics with my dog b/c I can't imagine dating someone who hates dogs. Just me though Dog lovers get it! When I did OLD the main thing I did was use the search criteria then weeded out based on attractiveness. I'm more into girl next door look; so a girl could be cute but if she looked like a club girl I deleted from search. For women, I can tell you some things I don't like: 1) A picture with you next to a girl that is more attractive. Why defeat yourself? Thanks for reminding me that by dating you I'm settling! 2) Profiles that say "looking for an honest guy I can trust"...uh, aren't we all? No I want a liar that I can't confide in! "I don't have a lot of time to date"...then why are you on here? 3) Profiles that list all of the attributes of their exes. They don't say it's about their ex, but you can tell by reading, "I do not want a guy that XYZ". 4) Profile should tell some interesting things about you that leaves a little mystery too 5) If you can say things that you know men in general will like that helps: i.e., "I like to cook" "I like to watch sports" (I'm not a sports guy but tons are and not trying to degrade women but a woman who can cook and enjoys it gets 100 bonus points ) 6) Try not to come across like you're obsessive about any one thing. Appear balanced. Good luck overall; 90% of it will be looks, the other 10% will be your profile. You can't learn much about someone from profiles except maybe you have some common interests....I learned that the hard way!
Andy_K Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 A very cute/hot pic gets a profile view. I don't care if the pic looks trashy. If it's attractive enough, I read the profile. From there it's more a case of disqualifying yourself. If your profile has about two sentences on, I won't bother writing. If your only interests are 'having fun with my girls' and 'shopping', I won't bother If you smoke or have 2+ kids, I won't bother If you're too young or too old, I won't bother. From there, if the profile REALLY stands out, e.g you have a sense of humour or an obscure interest in common with me, I'll write straight away. Otherwise I'll make a mental note to write a message if/when I feel in a writing mood (or I run out of other prospects) in a few days time.
Author lilyblue Posted January 18, 2012 Author Posted January 18, 2012 Insecurity at its finest. Ha, right. Sometimes it's so easy to just see things from your own perspective. Thanks for the reminder Thanks for all your thoughts, guys. It's nice to hear some thoughtful responses. I'm going to take the offer to post my profile - this is what I have at the moment (I live in a very outdoorsy place, and I've ended up meeting the crazy ice climbers - that's not going to work out ): Oh the profile... let's see, I am a happy, confident, athletic, affectionate woman looking to meet an exceptional man. I'm not sure exactly what that man looks like, is it you? I love to be outdoors (although if you're a hardcore ice climber, you might scare me, just a little). I run a lot, and someone who enjoys running would be great. I'm looking to get more into trail running and love going out and exploring the trails, either hiking or running. I definitely also love coming home and warming up. I coach high school gymnastics and it is the highlight of my day, every day. It's one of the most rewarding and fun things I've ever done. I'm very attracted to people who can make me laugh, are confident, optimistic and sarcastic. What's your story?
Ross MwcFan Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 (edited) Nice pic, seems like a genuine nice person, homebody, no kids, doesn't want kids, and doesn't want to get married. Edited January 18, 2012 by Ross MwcFan
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